Chapter Text
He had been on Midgard for almost two years before he heard that voice that chilled him to the very core in his head again.
We are coming Laufeyson, have you forgotten us already?
Loki thought he knew cold before he met Thanos; he was a frost giant, after all, he was always cold. But Thanos tore him limb from limb and left him trembling from cold and fear and pain and then put him back together again in different ways only to unmake him all over again.
By the end he would have done anything Thanos asked.
And he did.
Remember what you promised us, Laufeyson. We’re coming to claim it.
The infinity gauntlet, the cosmic cube, both relics in Odin’s throne room; that was what they asked of him. It had been laughable but Loki had agreed just to make them stop. He would take Midgard. That broken, doomed planet. He didn’t want it, he never wanted it. But Thanos said he did, so he did.
You think you know pain?
He had wanted to run. The minute he landed on Earth. He had wanted to run and never look back. But Thanos was in his head, in his veins and ohmygodifhedidn’t. So he played his part, danced to Thanos’ tune and when Banner’s green alter-ego smashed him so thoroughly he was jerked loose from Thanos’ controls.
He’d wanted to fall to his knees and thank him but of course, he couldn’t, so he didn’t. And no one noticed. No one noticed he had changed, not even Thor. But then Stark had come swaggering in to his cage, all ego and walls and fronts and once he’d stopped lording it over him and showing off his little collar that repressed Loki’s magic he’d paused. “Your eyes are green.”
Loki had rolled his eyes, “If you’re the best mind on Midgard I’m rather unimpressed.”
And Stark had looked faintly amused. “Last time I saw you your eyes were most definitely blue.” And he’d known. Loki knew he knew and for a moment they’d stared at each other for a few minutes and then Loki had made some remark about Tony gazing lovingly in to his eyes and Tony had smirked and that was that.
He’d escaped from Asgard fairly easily and he’d had fun playing with Doom and his little villain friends and fighting the Avengers. And then came the voice.
Don’t think we’ve forgotten about you little God. Oh no, we’re coming for you first.
Loki had jerked awake trembling and whimpering and cold and alone so he had gone to one person he knew would protect him no matter what. But the mansion had been deserted, his brother wasn’t there, Loki had been about to leave when a child had appeared seemingly out of nowhere and demanded to know who he was and why he was in her mansion.
Her hair was dark and messy and though her eyes were huge and blue he recognised her as Stark’s immediately. She had been dressed in baggy pyjamas and though her voice had been steady she was trembling slightly. She reminded him of Hel and it tugged at his heart and he’d smiled and knew he couldn’t leave until someone came back.
He hadn’t meant to bond so strongly with Alaya but looking back he doesn’t know how he thought he’d stay away.
He’s watching her sleep now, she’s getting so big.
Its 4am, the mansion is sleeping and Loki’s awake, his head is full of Thanos’ whispering and it’s all he can do not to fall apart. He shuts Ally’s door as quietly as possible and heads down to the labs. Banner’s still up and when Loki enters he frowns at him, “Something wrong, Loki?”
Loki likes Bruce. He’s calm and clever and he’ll sit and teach Loki about anything he wants to know about (Tony usually gets bored half way through and they resort to making the other Avengers lives a living hell instead)
And he knows how it feels to be a monster.
Loki’s hand curls unconsciously across his stomach. Yes, there’s something wrong. There’s something very, very wrong and it’s not only Thanos’ whispers. He’s not going to tell Bruce about that though, it’s not that he doesn’t think the scientist would believe him, it’s that has no idea where to begin.
“Looking for Tony,” he murmurs.
Bruce studies at him for a few moments before gesturing to the workshop behind his lab. As Loki passes Bruce catches his arm and Loki flinches involuntarily, “You know you can talk to me right, Loki?” he sounds concerned, more concerned than Loki can ever remember anyone ever using towards him.
Loki nods and smiles weakly but it feels more like a grimace.
We’re going to destroy everything you love, little God. But then what can a monster like you know of love?
Tony’s asleep; slumped over his desk and snoring loudly.
Loki wants to cry.
We are coming, little God.
There’s a flash of blinding pain that has Loki doubled over and biting his tongue so hard he tastes the tangy sharpness of blood.
He reaches out and brushes Tony’s hair back tenderly and Tony grunts and mumbles something about apple juice and Loki chuckles despite it all.
It’s better like this. This way he doesn’t need say goodbye. One day he’ll come back, after Thanos is gone and they’re all safe and it’ll all be okay (or so he hopes).
He touches Tony’s cheek one last time and disappears.