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“Find anything interesting in your lab’s most recent cataloging of universes?” Stephen asks flatly, the sound of rustling papers from his end of the line. “We’re hoping to find out more about the farthest universes to the west.”
“I’m still going through the reports, nothing particularly interesting yet,” Y/N responds, tightening her grip on her phone, her fingers drumming on the desk, a vain attempt to disconnect her mind from wandering thoughts.
“Unfortunate. Let me know when you come across something,” he adds, the sound of a pen clicking in her ears. “So… how are you doing lately? Eating well?” He questions at her silence.
It’s infuriating. The call. His voice. The papers. The pen. His questions. His calm demeanor. How does he act like nothing has happened between them? Her own heart beats frantically against her rib cage every time she hears his voice, and being on the phone again like this... memories of late night calls and falling in love plague her thoughts.
“How do you act like nothing has ever happened?” She finally asks. “How are you so calm?”
“I check up on all division leaders,” he states casually. “It’s my job to make sure all matters pertaining the Multiverse are going smoothly and that you’re all doing well. You’re not exempt to that.”
Ouch. She cringes at his words and bristles, “Really? I’m a division leader so you’re calling to casually check up on me? That’s it?”
Sighing into the phone she can hear him shift in his chair, “I’m just being honest Y/N.”
“Well I’m not doing well, I’m doing quite horrendously if you must know,” she spits back. “I still have nightmares of almost dying, and I wake up alone to a cold empty bed where someone promised he’d always be. Then he calls me up to casually chat like my heart isn’t breaking as I’m trying to play along that I’m just fine. Like it’s easy to just pretend nothing ever happened. As if I hadn’t fallen in love with you, as if I didn’t wait years of my life for you to fully commit, then live with you an additional two years before you decided it was better if we just pretend it didn’t happen.”
“But yeah, besides that I’m fine,” she laughs humorlessly. “Thanks for calling to check up on me, I do so love these calls. Goodbye Stephen.”
Hanging up the call, she slams her phone down on the desk in front of her and buries her face in her hands. The tears quickly seep through and slip down her cheeks splashing onto the surface below.
The guilt at her words slowly sinks in as her tears stop. Maybe he was right. What other choice was there? If they’re going to stay in the same organization together they had to make it work. It wasn’t like there were a multitude of organizations doing work on the Multiverse.
She couldn’t let a casual phone call seem like a personal affront. Whether it hurt or not she needed to move on.
Wiping roughly at her eyes, she glances down at her phone to check the time. Would it be weird to call and apologize after having a tantrum thirty minutes ago?
Maybe it was good they hadn’t worked out. She called his demeanor casual cruelty, but maybe it was just him. Being able to just move on like everything is fine. Or maybe he just wasn’t as invested as her.
Lifting her phone she taps his name and holds it up to her ear. After a moment of ringing, she hears the sudden familiar sound of a portal crackling to life and music coming from just outside her front door.
Leaving her home office and approaching the front door, she looks out the window to see Stephen standing on her doorstep with his ringing phone in hand.
Waving stiffly at her through the window, he answers the call, his voice rough in her ear, “Let me in?”
Nodding, she steels herself taking a deep breath as he hangs up the call and she unlocks the door, swinging it open to face him. “Look, I’m sorry for-” she starts before the words die on her lips as his arms engulf her.
Backing them into the house, he kicks the door shut behind him as his face buries into her neck, the only sound that of his cloak swishing around her to pull her tighter into the embrace.
She slowly lets out the breath she’d been holding and allows herself to sink into his arms as she feels him shaking against her.
“It’s not easy, it’s never easy,” he mutters softly, his breath tickling her neck. “I’ve regretted it every day since.”
Pulling back from him, she holds him at arms-length as she takes in his reddened glossy eyes and the dark circles under them. “Why... why did you end it then?”
“Because you deserve better,” his gaze drifts from her eyes to the floor. “You’ve... done so much for me. And I’m not enough. You got hurt because of me. Because you love me. And I- I fucking worry alright? That one day I won’t make it in time. That I won’t be able to save you, that someone will come for you to get at me and I’ll not be able to stop it. I just want you to be happy. With as normal and as safe of a life as you can have.”
“And what if what makes me happy is being with you?” She questions, turning his face back toward her own. “We’ve been through a lot together… and I was finally happy. I finally felt happiness each morning I woke up, everyday I came home, every night I crawled into bed. And losing that... I’ve never been more miserable in my life. I chose a career working on Multiversal travel and study surrounded by robots and people with insane levels of power. I never exactly was going for a safe normal life.”
A sad smile tugs at his lips, “I may just have been miserable too. Trying to pretend I wasn’t. Trying to pretend I wasn’t fighting a constant battle to portal over here and bang on your door and beg you to come home to the Sanctum. Just seeing you at the lab was hard enough. Seeing you and knowing I couldn’t touch you, I couldn’t talk to you without some good reason or excuse.”
The longer she looks at him, the more she realizes the state he’s in. Blue-green eyes bloodshot and on the verge of tears, dark circles formed under them. His hair unbrushed, looking dull and lifeless hanging from his head. The beginning of stubble on his chin. His street clothes hanging off his frame loosely, she notices how much thinner he looks since she last saw him in something other than his robes. Her eyes drift down the too-pale shade of his skin on his arm, and reaches out to touch a piece of familiar fabric wrapped around his wrist. “Is this…?”
His cheeks redden as he clears his throat and looks down at it, “You said just throw it away when I told you that you forgot it. I... couldn’t. So I just... well, turned it into a bracelet of a sort. It felt like the last piece of you left I was allowed to have.”
She plays with the fabric between her fingers as they stand in silence, unsure how to proceed, her mind racing. Coming up with thoughts and shooting them down as quickly as they surfaced.
After a few minutes she gives in and throws her arms around his neck, his arms immediately wrapping around her again. This time she buries her face into his neck. The scent of his magic and body wash filling her senses.
“Up,” she eventually mumbles against his neck.
“What?”
“Up,” she repeats, his hands moving down so she can jump up and wrap her legs around his waist, his hands holding her thighs. “Bedroom.”
“I- what?” He stutters, his heart beat quickening against her chest. “Are you sure...?”
Leaning back from him a bit to look at his face, she gives him a gentle smile, “All I was thinking is we both look like we haven’t slept well in months. Cuddle and a nap maybe if you can spare the time?”
“That sounds... great,” he answers, returning her smile and walking towards the back of the apartment. “And you’re right. Whether I have time or not isn’t relevant, I frankly don’t give a shit what I should be doing right now.”
Reaching the bedroom, he places Y/N down on the bed and leans down to untie his boots and kick them off, his cloak removing itself from his shoulders and flying over to the chair in the corner.
As he’s removing his shoes, Y/N takes the moment to crawl under the covers and pull the sheets back on the side he always slept on.
She lifts her arms up as he looks up at her, and a smile crosses his face before he quickly dives into bed, snuggling into her arms. His head pressed to her chest as his hair tickles her nose.
She wraps her arms around him tight, pulling him in closer and throwing one leg over his hip. Settling into their typical cuddle position easily, she sighs happily and presses a kiss to the top of his head.
He was always willing to hold her, but she’d found out pretty quickly into their relationship how much he enjoyed being held himself. He’d said it was the one place he felt relaxed, like she was reining all his negative thoughts in and holding him together at times.
“I’ve missed this,” he mumbles against the fabric of her shirt. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” she responds softly, running her fingers slowly through his hair. “We don’t have to miss this anymore you know.”
“We won’t,” he answers, turning slightly to look up at her. “You’re moving home. Tomorrow. Tonight we’re just ignoring everything else and staying here.”
“Oh? Do I get a say in this Stephen?” She asks, lightly tapping his nose.
“Zero,” he states flatly, but his eyes darken a moment later. “Unless… you don’t want to?”
“I’m just teasing, I want to go home with you,” she chuckles and brushes a soft kiss to his forehead. “I do believe I was the one yelling at you for not being in my bed. Hardly going to protest it now.”
“Good,” he nods and grabs ahold of her wrist, bringing her hand to his lips to press a kiss to her palm. “I want to forget the past few months even happened. As far as I’m concerned, once you’re moved back in, you never left.”
“Agreed. Just this time, don’t kick me out.”
“Never again. This was your chance to get rid of me, you’ve declined it. Now you’re stuck with me and all that entails.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”