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Iriya stood alone on the edge of the world and looked out across endless stars.
Well, it certainly felt like the edge of the world, though she knew well there were dozens of other flying islands all around her, unseen in the depths of night. This place of howling winds and rocks that had delusions of being clouds…the Churning Mists, they called this part of Dravania. A well-fitting name, but for now, the wind had calmed and the sky was clear, and she drank in the starlight.
It had become much too rare for her to have such moments alone. Moments in which she could enjoy the beauty around her, moments to breathe and simply exist. It seemed like so little to ask, and yet she was reluctant to demand even such a tiny sliver of indulgence. So much rested in her hands: the fate of Ishgard, at the very least. She truly hoped that Alphinaud’s wild plan would have some benefit; that Ysayle with her passion and her devotion to ending the war with the dragons would persuade mighty Hraesvelgr, to whom they would try to speak, come morning.
But all of that was for tomorrow to worry about. Right here, and right now, she could gaze in wonder at the stars, before concluding her portion of the night’s watch and allowing Estinien to take over.
As if her thought summoned him, she heard her fellow dragoon’s step. She half turned, and watched as he sauntered across the broken stones. “All is quiet. For now,” he told her, and took up a perch on a piece of fallen masonry. She gave him a nod, and a little smile, then turned back to look at the stars once more.
Her attention wasn’t really on the view now. She was very aware of Estinien’s presence, and a little thrill ran through her as she noted how much closer he was to her than before. The silence between them was comfortable - just as comfortable now as it had been in the days when she’d been training with the lance and had the Azure Dragoon for a sparring partner. Then, as now, he was not wont to waste words in idle chatter; as before, she didn’t mind in the least, taking comfort from his presence without requiring more.
Back then, she hadn’t understood why she felt so comfortable around him. He was surly at times, arrogant, downright rude when it came to critiquing her performance in training, and yet… He was generous with compliments when they were warranted, and even at his most acerbic he was never cruel. Like herself, Estinien took his duty very seriously, and allowed nothing and no one to get in his way when there was work to be done.
Back then, he had been willing enough to spend time around her - patrolling, standing watches on occasion - Ser Haurchefant was always desperately short-handed. But the Azure Dragoon had kept his distance, and she could never be sure if that was out of respect…or reluctance. And she could not decide which one she preferred, until much later.
Ever since they had reunited, he had acted much the same as before - except that he no longer kept his distance. With everything that had happened recently, she could not be sure that she wasn’t seeing something that was not really there…but she had wanted to say something to Estinien for weeks now. Over and over, she’d made excuses to herself and kept silent.
After all, what if she did confess her feelings to him? Disastrous if he should reject her…and just as worrisome if he did not. The tension within her demanded that she do something - but even now she did not want to break their companionable silence.
She managed, at last, to speak. “The night skies over Dravania are quite different from the skies over Ishgard. More intense…the stars seem brighter. It’s…” She glanced over her shoulder, and her last word did not pertain to the sky. “Stunning.”
His armor seemed to gather the starlight and throw it back in a darkling gleam, his posture spoke to her of the coiled power she knew lived within him. The same power - a dragon’s soul - slumbered within her, too. It murmured now, as if talking in its sleep. This one is worthy as a mate, the dragon whispered to her.
She felt her cheeks growing warm and turned her head, so Estinien would not see.
He grunted in response to her words, and said, “I prefer Coerthas.” There was a pause, and then he continued. “It is my home, after all. Being less well-traveled than you, I have little other experience to use as comparison.”
“Whether over Ishgard or Costa del Sol, it’s the same sky,” she replied, letting a little humor color the words. “Even so, the blackness seems darker, and the stars shine that much brighter for it. I find it very beautiful.”
Estinien listened to her speak, but he did not gaze upon the stars. Instead his attention was riveted to Iriya herself. Slim and small and yet fully as deadly as he with a lance - when had he begun to appreciate her for more than her lancework? Nay, he wouldn’t bother lying to himself. He’d noticed how attractive she was even back then, when she’d been just another adventurer - a lancer, with pretensions to the skill of a dragoon. How wrong he had been about that! He still did not quite know what to make of the plain fact that she was in truth Azure Dragoon - just as he was. There had never been two, in all of Ishgard’s thousand years of history and tradition. And yet it remained a fact, proven to him in that moment when she’d defeated him at the Steel Vigil. When she had saved his sanity, had stopped him from giving in to Nidhogg’s influence. He didn’t like remembering how close he had come to losing his mind.
So instead he focused on her, and when she pronounced the sky beautiful, he said only, “Yes.” Knowing she wouldn’t understand that he meant her.
There was a deep ache inside of him, that urged him to make her understand.
He stood, and approached her.
Iriya heard him moving, and took a deep breath. No more excuses, she told herself. She had to know, one way or the other. “I’ve really missed this,” she began, “spending time with you.” She turned as she spoke, only to realize just how close he had come to her now - so close her armor brushed against his. She faced him fully, and looked up into his face. Despite feeling twice as nervous as before, she dove in. “To be honest, I really missed you. I’ve thought of you every day since the Vigil. Wondering how you were.” She swallowed against the memory of betrayal, of falling rocks, of tears. “And then Ul’dah - happened - and I really thought that would be it for me. That I would never get to see you again.” She tipped her head back, smiling up at him, her eyes watching his reactions with keen attention. “And yet here we are. Together again.”
Estinien stared down at her. That smile. No longer was she the Warrior of Light, Champion of Eorzea, slayer of primals. No longer even a fellow dragoon. Before him stood, simply, Iriya Arene…smiling at him like that. Never had any woman granted him more than a passing glance - certainly never a woman of such breathtaking beauty as this. Never had anyone wondered how he was faring. No one.
She gave a little sigh, eyes lowering, and turned back to look out over the vista. Feeling thick-headed, he realized she wanted - needed - him to respond. Say something, you fool!
“As you well know, my duty is to Ishgard. My mission to defeat Nidhogg…it is all that I am. All that I had ever known…until an adventurer with a collection of unlikely titles crossed my path.” She turned back to him, a hint of hurt in those lovely eyes, and he tried to clarify what he meant. “My duty and my vengeance remain. But now and again, I find myself questioning everything I thought I knew. Because of her…because of you.” She flinched.
Damn it. He tried again. “Your presence…vexes me.” No, that’s not better! Idiot!
He reached out to her, settling one hand on her shoulder in the most delicate touch. His voice faltered, his mouth was much too dry. “I mean to say…” He licked his lips, trying not to falter. “I’ve never felt anything, for anyone. The way you make me feel is - is - different.” Would that I had half of Haurchefant’s charm. Curse me for a fool.
He closed his mouth, and struggled to remain still, though he wanted to leap away. Wanted to flee from the humiliating awkwardness he’d just displayed.
Iriya gazed up at him and had to smile. Who would ever have guessed that the Azure Dragoon could sound like a youth stammering his way through his first flirtation? But the awkward words didn’t hide the sincerity in his voice. The truth came through in spite of his floundering. He does have feelings for me. The thought intoxicated her, and widened her smile.
“If it’s anything like how I feel for you - yes, a rather different kind of vexation.” She let her voice take on a teasing tone, and closed the tiny distance between them. She had to go up on her toes to reach his face.
He startled at her touch, but didn’t pull away as she caressed the small area of his jaw left exposed by his helm. This close to him, she could hear the way his breath caught; could hear the way he sighed. That sigh carried so much relief - such gladness, that answered the joy blossoming in her own chest.
He leaned down to her, putting one arm around her even as her free hand slipped round his waist. Their armor whispered as their lips met.
The kiss was shy at first - he held her as if she were made of glass. But not for long.
Her body thrilled - her blood turned to levin - and even as she pressed closer, his arm tightened around her, and their kiss intensified.
His hand cupped the back of her head, armor tangling in her hair just a little. He was breathing faster - well, so was she. She looped her arm around his neck, making a tiny noise in her throat. A wonderful smell filled her head - she couldn’t have said if it were some sort of cologne or just his natural scent, and she didn’t care. The dragon within her rumbled, awakening ever so slightly, heightening her every sense.
She felt right in his arms. Her mouth was sweeter than birch syrup, and he caught a scent of roses from her hair as his fingers flexed against her head. Within him, a dragon growled, eager and possessive. Make her yours, make her ours, claim her! But he resisted the demand, and only kissed her, though he could not resist tightening his grip on her, crushing her to him until her feet very nearly left the ground. She responded with another little moan - incredibly alluring, the sound made him shudder with need.
Already he knew he was utterly lost to her. But he would not rush this - would not push her into more. She was younger than he - it was for him to exercise restraint, to wait on her until she was sure.
He could barely think, but he forced down all the primitive urges in him that screamed for more than mere kisses. Do not get ahead of yourself. There is yet a mission to accomplish, there is too much to be done, and no guarantees that we will succeed - or even survive.
He would make sure that they both lived long enough to explore each other.
They moved apart a tiny bit, both of them breathless now, hearts racing. Iriya smiled, and Estinien smiled back - a wonderful, boyish smile. She felt as if she might take flight out of sheer happiness.
Somehow she managed to speak. “See what I mean?” The words were giddy, but Estinien chuckled. His thumb caressed her cheek, his armor warmer than her skin.
“Aye, I begin to understand,” he smirked. “Though you may need to elaborate on these points for me…often.”
“Good.” She kissed him again, a quick sweet kiss. “But maybe not right now.”
He laughed again, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed close, hugging him tight.
She didn’t let herself consider it first. She’d waited too long as it was.
“I love you, Estinien.”
She felt it in him - the flinch that told her he had not been expecting such words. Had no one ever told him he was loved, she wondered. But then his arms tightened around her, and his head bent. His voice trembled even as he whispered, “And I love you.”
They stayed like that, holding each other as if they’d never let go, as the moon rose above Abalathia’s Spine. Iriya no longer noticed the sky, all her focus on the gentle kisses they shared now and again, on the pressure of his arms around her, on the wild joy galloping through her.
But at last, Estinien sighed. “We ought to return to camp.” His voice took on wry humor. “Lest our companions awaken, and find us gone.”
She nodded, reluctantly. She pressed her mouth to his one last time - a kiss that was soft and gentle and laden with promises for later.
They parted, slowly, and she smiled up at him.
He gestured for her to lead the way, giving her a ridiculous, courtly bow. She laughed, and took his hand in hers, so that he walked beside her as they started back towards the camp.
She glanced back at the rising moon, gathering in the sight, the memory, and tucking it all safe within herself. She never wanted to forget this night, for all the rest of her days.