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In-Joo is tired.
It’s been a long day. Week. Month. Years? What is time anymore?
It seems like time has both slowed and sped-up after Hwa-Young died.
She can’t remember when or what she last ate.
But she can still remember the eerie quite in her friend’s apartment. She can remember gasping for air and blinking through burning tears when she found her friend’s body still wearing red heels. She can remember how loudly her heartbeat pounded in her ears when she found the money Hwa-Young left in her yoga class locker.
She can also unfortunately still feel the beatings Ms. Go so kindly gave her in exchange for a loan. When she lies down, her ribs still ache. She flinches if anyone nearby makes a sharp gesture. In-Joo doesn’t even remember what she was like before all of this. Sometimes she hates Hwa-Young for trapping her in this mess. Two billion won in a backpack? Seventy billion won of property in her name? In-Joo doesn’t understand why her friend did this -- was it affection? Pity?
When will she get time to process all of this? She can’t even take a breath without another crisis coming up. Sometimes In-Joo feels like any action she takes to protect her family is useless. Every time she thinks she has gotten one step closer to having the situation under her control, she gets dragged into another situation where everything is upside-down.
She doesn’t even remember how she ended up working for this rich family. There’s something odd about them, In-Joo can feel it. Jae-Sang’s dark soulless eyes makes her nervous. Sang-A’s pretty smile puts her teeth on edge, it looks like a thin veneer hiding something more sinister. And Hyo-Rin --- well, she just feels sorry for Hyo-Rin for being stuck in this strange family. Their house is big and cold and creepy. In-Joo is convinced that she might be developing a hunchback because of constant shoulder tension from never being able to relax when she is in their house.
All In-Joo wants is for her little sister to leave this (insane) family and then take her sisters somewhere where they could live peacefully. Preferably in a white apartment with lots of natural sunlight. But she can’t afford to be picky. She just wants her family safe and happy and together. And her sixty percent. She wants that too.
In-Joo knows Do-Il can’t be trusted. Despite what In-Kyeung thinks, she does not have feelings for him.
She might feel attracted to him, but that doesn’t mean that she likes him. There’s a difference, she tells herself, a definite difference.
She might allegedly like his scent (clean and woodsy), it always makes her want to sway in closer and–
Well. It's not a crime to like how someone smells, right? She should ask what scent he wears so she isn’t so burdened by curiosity.
Lately, she finds herself replaying their conversation behind the bush, when Do-Il had taken her by the shoulder (his hand was so warm) and tried to convince her to trust him.
He was standing so close. Too close, she huffed to herself, didn’t he have any sense of personal space?
He kept smirking. In-Joo thought it was insufferable that he was always smirking like he knew what she was thinking.
His eyes had looked so sincere, she wondered if Do-Il took acting classes in his free time.
She finds him irritatingly attractive and irritatingly suspicious, that is all.
She’s not a fool. She didn’t need the “background check” to know he was unreliable. But to his credit, he did let her know early on that he values money above all else. And she isn’t trusting him with her heart as she did with her con man ex-husband (asshole). She’s trusting him enough to get her the sixty percent, and she knows he will secure the money because he wants his forty percent too. And because she has the ledgers.
And he said he was Hwa-Young’s friend. That should count for something right?
She hopes she isn’t being naïve. She hopes there is someone out there looking out for her and her family’s happiness. Sometimes, In-Joo hopes her dead little sister is looking down from heaven and will take pity on her sisters and sway destiny to unfold in their favor.
In-Joo is so tired. And she misses Hwa-Young.