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“So, would you be my best man at the wedding?”
Horikawa sits, unmoving, blue eyes on sparkling red ones. He thinks his breath hitched, and he thinks he’s going to fall down to the floor, writhing in pain, and a hand on his chest. Horikawa thinks he’s going to die, because the pain is unbearable. The pain in his chest is unbearable; Horikawa briefly wonders if this is how cardiac arrest works. He puts a hand over his chest, and he thinks, “this is it. I’m going to die.”
Horikawa Kunihiro grins at Kashuu Kiyomitsu, and with an enthusiastic voice, he answers.
“Of course!”
Anything for you.
“Congratulations, Kashuu!”
Just you.
Kashuu always keeps him updated about the wedding. Horikawa entertains him, because he loves the sound of Kashuu’s voice over the phone. Anything for you, Horikawa thinks as Kashuu tells him about the venue for the wedding, and how they still haven’t decided on the wedding’s theme. Anything for you, Horikawa thinks as Kashuu laughs over the phone; he doesn’t even remember what he said to make Kashuu laugh like that, but it’s fine, it’s okay. If Kashuu is laughing at what Horikawa said, then he’s smiling, and it’s probably for him.
Please keep smiling.
Then Kashuu calls over Yasusada, and Horikawa hears the other come towards Kashuu. He tells Yasusada something, but it’s muffled, then they’re both laughing.
The next time Kashuu calls, he asks Horikawa why he hung up on them. Horikawa reasons his phone has been acting up lately, and he apologises.
It’s one week, three days, four hours, and six minutes before the wedding.
Horikawa has been counting since Kashuu and Yasusada announced the date of the wedding. He doesn’t know why, but it keeps him busy. He hasn’t done anything yet about how he’d fix himself, but he can pretend he’s not broken if he’s busy.
Counting down until the day the one he loves is lost forever breaks Horikawa even more, though.
Horikawa keeps counting.
It’s the wedding.
Horikawa thinks he’s chosen the best outfit for this occasion. He looks at the mirror, fixes his tie, and notices the dark circles under his eyes. For once, he’s grateful for makeup.
He looks at the mirror again, and he smiles. Horikawa thinks he looks great.
He still hasn’t done anything to fix himself, though. His clothes can’t keep him together.
When Horikawa finds Kashuu, the first thing he does is slap Kashuu’s back so hard he chokes, and Kashuu retorts with a hit on Horikawa’s side. He yelps, and Kashuu laughs.
“Serves you right,” Kashuu says, and he sticks out his tongue at Horikawa, who in turn laughs.
Kashuu is really beautiful today, but his beauty isn’t for Horikawa.
Kashuu has never been his, and his beauty has never been for him.
Horikawa doesn’t fail to remind himself that.
There’s only ten minutes left before the wedding, and Horikawa’s phone has been ringing non-stop. Horikawa thinks it’s because they need Kashuu’s best man in the altar with Yasusada way before the wedding starts, but he doesn’t really care right now. He’ll still be there, just for Kashuu.
While the phone continues to ring, Horikawa screams, sinks to the ground, his hands dragging down his face. He wants to tear his face off.
Coward.
Selfish.
Coward.
No one hears him. It’s the last thing he wants, anyway.
The music is playing, everyone is standing, waiting for Kashuu. Horikawa casually slips himself into place, beside Yasusada. The groom eyes Horikawa and mouths “where were you?” and Horikawa just grins and mutters at Yasusada.
“Sorry!”
Kashuu enters, the music gets a little louder, and Horikawa stops breathing.
He walks down the aisle, graceful as ever, beautiful as ever, and Horikawa never thought he’d actually look good in white. Kashuu doesn’t hold a bouquet, of course not. It’s a women thing, he told Horikawa when he asked about it. He doesn’t hold a bouquet, but Kashuu holds a lone red rose.
Kashuu walks down the aisle, a lovely smile on his face, and he looks at Horikawa. He thinks Kashuu’s smile brightens tenfold as he walks towards him, closer, until he’s standing in front of Horikawa, extending the rose towards him and—
Kashuu reaches for Yasusada, and he gives the rose to him. He passes by Horikawa, and Kashuu spares him one last glance, grateful for him being there.
Horikawa continues smiling.
Ever since the reception started, Horikawa’s phone won’t stop ringing. He hasn’t really given it as much as a glance; he’s been table hopping, toasting with Shishiou and Mitsutada, stealing from Mikazuki’s plate (with Tsurumaru’s approval), and making sure the Toushirous (other than Honebami and Namazuo) don’t get their hands on any alcohol. It’s fun, and it’s busy.
Horikawa forgets about the phone for a moment, and the fact that he’s broken.
“Hello, Kane-san?”
“Kunihiro, you shit. Do you know how long I’ve been calling?!”
This conference is boring as hell, and Kanesada wants to die.
Today’s the big day, and he was invited, but it didn’t even take him less than five seconds after receiving the invitation to call up Yasusada and say “yo, I can’t go.”
This hell called a conference has been planned long before Yasusada and Kiyomitsu announced the wedding. As much as Kanesada wants to ditch and go to the wedding, this one is actually important and could cost him his job if anything goes wrong. So Kanesada sucks it up, sits in his seat like a good boy, and thinks of many different creative ways on how he could commit mass murder in this conference room and get away with it. For five hours straight.
When Kanesada manages to free himself from hell, he realizes the wedding is long over and everyone is probably at the reception now. He calls the first person he knows would pick up his call even before Kanesada could hit the call button.
Imagine his frustration when Horikawa doesn’t answer after an hour long of trying to reach him.
(No one else picks up his calls too, unfortunately.)
When Horikawa apologises, Kanesada thinks something is wrong.
When Horikawa laughs, Kanesada realizes something is wrong.
He doesn’t ask, though, and he lets Horikawa talk and laugh. “Are you telling me Kuninaga just let you pick on Munechika’s plate the whole time? And that guy doesn’t notice?”
“You know how Mikazuki-san is like, Kane-san!” Horikawa laughs, and for some reason, Kanesada can’t imagine the smile on his face. “He’s too careless, and though he doesn’t look like one, Mikazuki-san sure acts like an old man. Tsurumaru-san comes second, actually.”
Kanesada laughs, and Horikawa laughs too. “And, and, oh. Haha, give me a second, Kane-san.” Kanesada could hear muffled talks on the other end, and when Horikawa’s back, he’s laughing again. “Shishiou just did a bottoms-up!”
“Seriously?”
“Two bottles of wine!” Horikawa says. “I’m not really sure what’s going on, exactly. Mitsutada-san just passed by and told me what’s happening.” There’s a distant yell on the other end, and Horikawa giggles. “Did you hear that? That was Shishiou!”
“Oh, man, everyone’s having fun. Wish I was there.”
Kanesada continues to hear Shishiou’s distant yelling, and Horikawa continues to laugh. He laughs, and Kanesada listens. He listens and listens until Horikawa’s laughter breaks into cries and sobs, and Kanesada can imagine the tears staining Horikawa’s face.
Kanesada hears the noises, but he listens to Horikawa’s sobs. He doesn’t say anything, Horikawa doesn’t too, but he understands.
Kanesada understands. He’s been watching Horikawa from afar too.