Work Text:
Rain stared down at the table, eyes wide in disbelief.
Charoen had just confessed to him. Charoen just confessed to him!
Charoen was one of his classmates. They hadn’t talked a lot but the two of them were generally on friendly terms.
He blinked and tried to regain his focus as Charoen’s face became increasingly more red and anxious as time passed. Rain had put his hands up and tried to smile. “Thank you!” Rain cringed at himself. He didn't know what he was supposed to say in this type of situation.
Instead of replying to her confession immediately, Rain asked for some time to think about it. Charoen nodded before she wished him a good day and hurried away. Rain watched her back, mouth slightly agape. He had never had someone confess to him before.
Afterward, he ended up walking over to the closest table and sat down, trying to get over the shock of it all.
It made him feel a bit giddy, but when he thought about it a bit more, his smile fell. The more he considered it, the more he realized that he didn’t have any feelings for her. His mood took a dip and guilt rose in him. But there was nothing he could do about it as he couldn't control his emotions. There was no fluttering when he thought about her. It was nothing close to what he had ever felt for Ple or his other crushes.
Rain sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with a grimace. He was going to have to turn her down tomorrow. It felt too cheap to relay it in a text. She deserved better than that.
Despite not returning her feelings, he hoped they could remain on good terms. However, he doubted it. Rain also knew how it felt to be rejected. It wasn’t a nice feeling, no matter how kindly it was said. He had only gotten over it with Ple because of Sky and because they had been friends before his crush on her developed.
He checked his phone and groaned. With one last glance towards the direction that Charoen had gone off to, Rain stood up. He had a class to get to.
——
When he told Sky about it after school, he was met with complete silence. With a frown, Rain turned around in concern. Words were on the tip of his tongue, but whatever he had been about to say was quickly forgotten when he saw the other’s reaction.
Sky’s eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open, expression filled with complete shock.
Rain’s worry was quickly replaced with annoyance. “What’s with your face? I'm not unlovable!”
Sky shook his head, snapping out of the daze he'd been in as he regained his composure. He blinked a few times and shook his head again, still looking confused. “No, no. That’s not…” he trailed off, before tilting his head to the side questioningly. “Why would you even contemplate it? Saying yes to her?”
“What do you mean? I’ve never been confessed to before. Of course, I’m gonna take it seriously and consider the other person's feelings! And see if I like them back. I’m not an asshole who says no and then changes my mind because I realize that I made a mistake. Or someone who would string them along only to figure out I don’t actually like them like that.”
“Wait, were you the one who confessed to him then?”
Rain furrowed his brows. “Him? No, are you even listening to me? Charoen confessed to me. What are you even talking about?”
There was a long pause where they just stared at each other. Rain had no idea how to interpret his friend’s strange reaction. At the same time, Sky’s confusion turned to exasperation, then transformed into a layer of calm.
“I’m not accusing you of anything,” Sky said slowly. The yet going unsaid.
Rain frowned. At this point, Rain was starting to regret even telling Sky anything. Maybe he should have just kept the information to himself.
“What about Phayu?”
Rain blinked, taken aback. “What about him?”
“Aren’t the two of you dating?”
It’s Rain’s turn to be shocked. His mouth opened and closed like a fish before he finally managed to get his words out. “What? No! Why would you think that?”
Sky waited for a beat as if he expected Rain to start laughing, and exclaim that he was kidding. When Rain didn’t do that, Sky looked just as surprised. “Wait, you’re serious?”
“Yes!”
Sky narrowed his eyes, disbelief entering his expression. “You’re always hanging out and going on dates. And the way that you look at each other is just… I didn’t think you could misinterpret the way that Phayu looks at you, but apparently, I was wrong,” Sky explained, frown deepening the more he went on. “You two are constantly touching in some way, you are practically attached at the hip! And the things he lets you get away with cannot be explained away by anything else but how much he's down bad for you. He has even met your mother!”
“So have you!” Rain replied weakly.
“Is that all you got from that?”
Rain doesn’t dignify Sky with a response. His mind was racing, trying to take in what Sky had said and connect all the dots. Before he could come to a conclusion, Sky looked at Rain thoughtfully and asked again, “Are you sure you’re not dating?”
“I think I would notice something like that."
Sky narrowed his eyes. “Would you?”
“Yes!”
Sky scoffed at Rain's quick rebuttal. It made Rain scowl, but still, he considered his friend's words a bit more.
“Maybe?” he admitted before he was able to stop himself. "Wait no! I would definitely notice! I wouldn't miss something like that! Right, Sky?" Rain groaned and put his head in his hands.
Sky laughed but pointedly didn't reply.
Rain pouted. “We haven't even kissed,” he muttered under his breath.
Judging by Sky's face, he'd heard him. Rain groaned again. Unhelpfully, Sky patted his back while studying him quizzically.
"Do you want to kiss him?"
Rain had always known that he didn’t have a preference when it came to gender and already knew that he was bisexual. But he hadn't really thought about Phayu like that. Now, however, Rain considered it for the first time. Did he want to kiss Phayu?
——
Do you want to kiss him?
Sky’s words haunted him, etched in his brain like a tattoo.
Rain distracted himself by thinking more about all of the other things Sky had said. Like how he thought that Rain and Phayu were together. After a long night of thinking, Rain had concluded that they were not dating. Sky had simply misunderstood the whole thing.
If they were, Phayu would have said something about it. Additionally, Rain would know, because he wasn’t that oblivious. He wouldn’t miss something big like that.
Right?
——
Phayu was acting weird. It began when Rain had told him that he had been asked out by someone from his class. Rain had barely gotten a sentence out, before Phayu’s eyes had gone dark, and his whole demeanor had changed. It was like a switch had been flipped.
Rain had quickly changed the topic, and neither of them said another word about it.
When they'd sat down to watch the movie, Phayu had latched onto Rain immediately and hadn't let go since. The moment he tried to leave to use the bathroom, Phayu pulled him back down. It took a while before he reluctantly loosened his grip and let him go. Then he proceeded to look like a kicked puppy until Rain returned to his side and snuggled into him.
It wasn't like Rain was displeased about this development, but it confused him. What might have brought this on? For a brief moment, Rain considered jealousy, but he quickly pushed the thought away. He just couldn’t imagine it. Phayu was the coolest guy around. What did he have to be jealous of?
Then, he caught sight of Phayu's lips but quickly looked away. Rain felt his cheeks turn hot as the words replayed in his mind.
Do you want to kiss him?
Rain looked down at their position on the couch, bodies entwined. Combined, that reminded Rain of the other parts of his earlier interaction with Sky. Was this what couples did?
He hummed thoughtfully and decided to go for it. Rain didn’t even know why he hadn't mentioned it sooner.
"Sky thought we were dating."
Rain looked at Phayu to get his reaction. He waited for Phayu to roll his eyes, laugh, and call Sky stupid for reading the situation completely wrong, but he didn’t even move.
The silence grew between them, and Rain could feel himself go increasingly colder with each passing second.
Phayu's face remained the same. As if frozen in place, not betraying a single emotion. Instead, he stiffened, the arms wrapped around Rain going rigid.
Dread filled Rain as realization slowly began to set in. How could Sky have been right? How had he not noticed something like that?
Rain's brain short-circuited, unable to comprehend what this signified. It meant that Phayu liked him.
"Are we dating?” Rain asked weakly, even though he already knew the answer at this point.
A sigh escaped Phayu, sharp against the silence. Then he started laughing, but the usual joyful sound was replaced by the harsh reality of the situation. It made Rain wince.
"Apparently not," Phayu finally said, jaw clenched. Except for that, his expression was entirely neutral. Rain couldn’t discern what he was thinking. Worry stirred in the pit of his stomach.
Rain didn’t know what to say. In the end, what came out was, "Why would you think that?"
Phayu's expression cracked and frustration leaked through.
"Why wouldn't I?" Phayu countered. "I have asked you out on several dates!"
Rain gaped. "But those were friend dates? Sky and I go on study dates all the time!"
Phayu raised his eyebrows and gave Rain that 'are you serious look'. "I kiss you all the time!"
"Only on the cheek or on my forehead. My mom does that too! How was I supposed to know what that meant?"
"Well, I'm not your mom," Phayu replied hotly.
"I know, she's nicer!" It felt like a low blow, but Rain couldn't help it.
Phayu released him and turned away. He remained silent for a while. His body language said more about his emotions than his face ever could in that moment.
Rain resisted the urge to pull him back against him and wrap him up in his arms. He was the reason for this, he didn’t deserve to do that.
Phayu collected himself, whole body tensing as he turned back to face Rain. "How did this even come up?" he asked.
Rain frowned at the complete 180, but accepted the change, hoping the situation would deescalate.
"It was just Sky said when I told him about Charoen. He was–" Rain hadn’t even finished speaking when Phayu hastily stood up, interrupting him.
"I have to go," Phayu declared and left, leaving Rain on the couch with an empty feeling in his chest. He had definitely handled this situation completely wrong.
——
Phayu didn’t approach the subject after that, and neither did Rain.
The other didn’t outright avoid him, but he doesn’t seek Rain out the way he did before. He expected it, but it still stung.
When they hang out, it’s not the same. Rain is concerned over Phayu's lack of reaction. Usually would smile fondly and call him stupid, but that never happened. Instead, Phayu seemed distant and distracted.
He looked hollow.
The whole thing was off, but Rain didn’t know how to fix it.
——
"I think I messed up."
Sky didn’t seem surprised. “With Phayu, you mean?”
Rain nodded in confirmation, feeling dejected.
“That explains why Phayu has seemed so sad.”
Rain whined, knowing he was most likely the reason for that.
Slowly, Sky coaxed the story out of him. It felt good to finally tell his friend. He hadn’t had the chance to tell his friend before as they both had been busy.
When he finished, Sky sighed and patted his shoulder.
“I don’t know what to do. Can you help me figure out something?”
“There’s something else you need to do first.”
“What is it?” Rain asked.
“You need to figure out if you want to date him for real, or if you want to remain just friends with him.”
Rain frowned. “But-”
Sky stopped him and shook his head. “No buts. Just think about it, okay? We can’t make a plan if we haven’t even figured out what we want the outcome to be.”
They don’t have more time to talk after that, as their class started. However, Rain found himself unable to focus on his schoolwork. He couldn’t get the image of Phayu, shoulders slumped and expression completely off, out of his mind.
That night Rain had a hard time sleeping because he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Phayu and what Sky had said. It had plagued him all day.
To be frank, Rain still had a hard time wrapping his mind around the whole thing. How could someone like Phayu like someone like him?
Phayu was so cool and kind to everyone he met. He was attentive and always knew what to do or say to make Rain feel better. Despite his constant teasing, he managed to never go too far or cross boundaries.
Even when Phayu called him stupid, it made Rain feel warm inside. Besides that, Phayu was the most attractive person he’d ever seen. Especially when he wore that racing suit. Most of the time it made Rain want to–
Rain's eyes widened, and he shot out of bed. It took a while for the realization to sink in, but when it did, it hit him like a full-speed train. He liked Phayu.
He liked Phayu!
——
Rain went to Sky the next morning, ambushing him right before class.
“I like Phayu!”
Yet again, Sky seems unsurprised at his outburst. It would be annoying if he didn’t need Sky’s help.
“Finally,” Sky replied, smiling widely.
“Last week, I honestly thought you guys were already dating and that you just hadn’t told me yet," Sky said with a shrug. “But I shouldn’t have underestimated how much of a dumbass you can be sometimes. It would have been easier for you if it really was that way now, wouldn’t it?"
Rain glared at his friend, who looked way too smug. "That doesn’t help me much right now!"
Before Sky could say anything else, Ple interrupted them, asking Sky about some class activities coming up.
Rain zoned out, though, immediately returning to Phayu. He went through it all again, and this time, something clicked into place. Rain frowned and turned to his friend, interrupting the discussion Sky was engaged in. “Wait, does that mean he was jealous of Charoen?”
Sky burst out laughing while Ple just looked at Rain like he’d grown a second head. Rain gave her a sheepish smile, which only made her roll her eyes before turning back to Sky, who was still cackling and gasping for air. Rain took that as the answer.
In the end, Sky’s advice regarding the whole situation had been just to tell Phayu how he felt about him. As Rain already knew that he returned his feelings, by how he’d thought they were already together. Therefore, Sky concluded that he had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Still, Rain was reluctant and more than a little nervous. What if Phayu had changed his mind since then? But when Rain voiced his concerns, Sky had just glared at him for a solid minute straight.
Finally, Sky sighed, and his expression softened. “It’s probably better if you’re honest and speak up now if you want to be together with him. It will only hurt your relationship more if you hide it at this point.”
“You're right! I should try,” Rain said, confidence building in his chest. He could do this!
——
It was easier said than done.
Rain usually didn’t have a hard time speaking his mind, but when it came to this, he was tongue-tied.
When it came to communicating that he would like to date Phayu to said man, Rain found it close to impossible. Whenever the right moment presented itself, his mouth would lose all connections to his brain, and all the words he’d imagined saying refused to come out. As quickly as they came, the moments would pass, and Rain would be in the same position as before. However, the more times it happened, the more doubts started to creep in.
It didn’t help that whenever he hung out with Phayu, it felt different. It wasn’t like before. It wasn’t as physical as before and there was always a polite distance between them. Phayu would always take a step back when Rain approached him, and even though Phayu remained friendly, it stung.
Rain missed the way it was before.
At the same time, Rain found himself unable to stop looking at Phayu’s lips. He had caught himself several times just staring, which brought heat to his cheeks. If Phayu had noticed, he hadn’t mentioned it.
It was during one of those times that Rain considered giving up. He was quickly losing steam and any hope of things working out. Maybe he should just move on.
Phayu had met up with him after school for a late lunch, but they had barely exchanged any words at all.
Phayu was unusually quiet. If their relationship hadn’t been so strained at the moment, Rain would have pried more beyond asking him if he was okay. So he remained silent regarding the other’s odd behavior when he said he was fine.
Any time Rain tried to ask something throughout the meal, Phayu had given non-committal answers that quickly shut down any attempts at a conversation. The silence had grown to an impenetrable wall between them that Rain seemed unable to cross.
When they finally finished their meals, Rain let out a sigh of relief. He pressed his lips together and stood, ready to get out of there.
Phayu seemed to be of another opinion though as he caught Rain by the wrist. “Do you want to take a walk?”
Rain made a face but was unable to say no, despite the awkward lunch. “Sure.”
As they walked, Rain watched Phayu in the corner of his eye. The other was tense, and it seemed like he was building up to something. Eventually, he spoke. "Are you going out with Charoen now?
It took a second for the question to register. During that time, Rain managed to stumble over his own feet and would have ended up on his ass if it weren’t for Phayu, who caught and steadied him. His hands were on Rain’s hips, and the touch sent a burning sensation through him. Rain felt his heartbeat quicken.
Rain blinked up at Phayu, still in a state of surprise. “What?”
Phayu narrowed his eyes but repeated himself nonetheless. “Are you dating her?”
“No,” Rain replied slowly, brows furrowed. He'd ended up seeing Charoen the day after her confession and had gently turned her down.
Phayu nodded, but Rain couldn’t read his expression. It was completely closed off. These days, Phayu was nowhere near the open person Rain had gotten to know. It was like they were back to square one. Rain’s lip quivered, but he forced himself not to cry.
To his surprise, Phayu wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into an embrace. Rain practically melted into him. Absentmindedly, Rain wondered if he should have tried to play into the Charoen thing more, as it seemed to be the only thing that made Phayu react. But he didn't entertain the idea for more than a moment. That wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
When Phayu released him, Rain didn’t even have time to feel disappointed as Phayu broke into a smile the second their eyes met.
Renewed hope rose in Rain. There might be a chance that it would work out. If this was his reaction to Rain not dating anyone else, he might still feel something for him.
After that talk, things were slightly less tense between them. It was getting better, but Rain still wasn’t satisfied. He wanted to be dating the other, for real and knowingly, this time. His heart fluttered whenever he saw Phayu, and his face grew hot when they accidentally touched or when the other smiled. The thing was, that wasn’t new. Rain had always had very distinct reactions to Phayu. How had he not noticed that before?
Secretly, Rain hoped that Phayu would take the initiative and end his suffering.
At this point, Rain wondered if telling Phayu would just end in another disaster. However, he doubted that he’d make it that long before would grow impatient and eventually snap, despite the potential repercussions.
——
“Is it more than like?”
Sky’s question echoed through Rain’s head throughout the day. He didn’t know how much he should reveal until he met his friend outside, then the words just came out. “It’s more than like,” Rain admitted. “I think I love him.”
Sky cooed, before swatting him over the head. “Then do something about it!”
——
Rain lasted a week.
They were hanging out at Phayu’s house when it finally happened.
Phayu had just laughed at something Rain said, his head thrown back and throat exposed. Rain’s eyes took in the sight, unable to look away. Phayu shook his head as the laughter died away before he looked over at Rain. Their gazes met and Phayu smiled. It transformed his face, finally reaching his eyes.
From that moment, Rain was doomed.
He made a desperate sound in the back of his throat and surged forward, pressing his lips against Phayu’s. The collision hurt, but it didn’t deter either of them. Instead, Phayu pulled Rain closer and deepened the kiss.
When they eventually broke apart, breath ragged and hair askew, Rain was in Phayu’s lap, hands tangled in the other’s hair. Rain tried tugging at the strands, making Phayu moan.
Rain smiled, satisfied at the reaction, but stopped himself from doing it again when Phayu tightened his grip on Rain’s hips warningly. The action made him lean back, which gave him the chance to study Phayu.
Rain narrowed his eyes when Phayu'expression seemed mostly smug, with a distinct lack of surprise. “You knew,” Rain stated accusingly. “You're not surprised at all.”
The words made Phayu chuckle. But Rain had the perfect solution to that. He tugged at Phayu’s hair again, quickly shutting him up. He barely managed to suppress another moan from escaping through his clenched teeth. Rain watched, fascinated as he struggled.
Before replying, Phayu gently guided Rain’s hands from his hair. Rain pouted, but any disappointment was quickly replaced by a possessive smugness stirring deep in his gut. With his hair like that, Phayu looked wrecked. There was no doubt in what Phayu had just been doing. His smile only grew when Phayu didn’t let go of him but kept Rain’s hands between his own.
“I didn’t know,” Phayu ultimately replied, “but I hoped. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have read just the situation wrong, but our entire relationship. So I sincerely hoped that I hadn’t misread our every interaction or misinterpreted every indication of your feelings for me.”
“Why didn’t you say something then?” Rain asked, exasperated. “We could have done this a lot sooner.” He gestured to their position on the couch.
Phayu shook his head. “You knew how I felt about you. I needed to give you time to figure out what it is that you feel for me.”
“What if I hadn’t said anything?”
“That’s not the Rain I know and fell in love with it. I knew that if you realized you wanted to date me, then you’d do something about it. I had full confidence in you.”
Rain frowned, not as confident in himself. Then, the realization hit. Did Phayu just say –
Unaware of Rain's inner storm, Phayu added, “I’m sorry about what happened. I should never have assumed something like that. That was an error on my part. I should have made my intentions clearer and asked you out properly.”
At that, Phayu was forced out of his head. “According to most people, you were pretty obvious. Everyone noticed except for me,” Rain replied, dejected.
"But you're the only one that matters," Phayu whispered against his cheek before he moved in for another kiss. However, this one lasted nowhere near as long as the first. Too soon, Phayu leaned away, gently pushing Rain back when he tried to follow.
Despite breaking the kiss, Phayu stayed close as they were still wrapped around each other. Rain squirmed, feeling a bit self-conscious under his gaze.
"What do you want from me? From this relationship?"
Rain looked up, surprised at the question. He’d thought it was obvious. But he shouldn’t assume. That hadn’t gone well last time. It was better to be on the same page from the start. They were going to do things properly this time.
“I think I want to date you,” Rain mumbled tentatively, feeling shy for some reason. “I mean, I liked everything we did before and now, I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”
When Phayu didn’t immediately reply, Rain bit his lip, slightly worried. What if he had changed his mind? So he asked, "Do you want to date me?”
Phayu smiled at that and kissed his cheek. Rain relaxed. “I’d like that. Are you sure you’re not going to think we’re just friends again then?”
“Hey, that’s mean!” Rain swatted Phayu on the shoulder, while Phayu chuckled fondly
Suddenly, Rain felt brave. He put his hands on Phayu’s neck and pulled him closer until their lips were almost touching. Phayu swallowed, his focus now entirely on Rain. It made him grin.
"Do you want to be my boyfriend then?"
Phayu’s eyes went wide and he let out a shaky breath. “I’d want that, very much actually.”
His mouth trailed over Rain’s neck and up to his ear, where he paused. “But what about you, Rain?”
Phayu nipped at Rain’s ear, turning whatever reply he was about to give into a moan instead.
“This is your last chance. If you say yes, I’m never letting you go,” Phayu warned.
Rain didn’t hesitate. "Yes. I’d love to be your boyfriend.”
With a growl, Phayu slotted their mouths back together. Rain melted into him as warmth spread through his body. He never wanted to let him go.
This was definitely more than like.