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He doesn't think about it too hard.
The how's and the why's of this secret little door, hidden within the bowels of Kaer Morhen. He tries desperately not to think about the magic inherent in its very existence, what its purpose might have been in the training of hundreds of young children destined to become witchers, if indeed it had a purpose at all.
For behind that door lay a sweet torture that Jaskier could never refuse. He wasn't strong enough to refuse it.
Behind that door was another Geralt, a Geralt that loved him. This Other-Geralt was never shy with his affections. Other-Geralt gave Jaskier whatever he craved, whether it be a kind word, a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on- or even a kiss. It was far more than Jaskier had come to expect from the real Geralt.
And Jaskier understood, he truly did- Geralt was mourning the loss of his brothers, in addition to bonding with his child surprise and repairing the castle after the battle. Geralt was busy. It was understandable. Too busy to talk during a meal, or approach him when the keep was preparing for a night's rest.
It was the reason Jaskier felt so guilty now, going to see Other-Geralt. Other-Geralt was never too busy for Jaskier. He felt he was being selfish, so needy for Geralt's attention that he was willing to accept it from an impostor.
For that was what Other-Geralt was- an impostor. Jaskier knew it. He also knew that what he was doing wasn't safe- that he should have told the witchers weeks ago. Other-Geralt's eyes alone should have been enough to send him running; unsettling black buttons in place of beloved gold. But the few kind words Other-Geralt had managed before Jaskier could commence with the running and screaming had caught him- hook, line and sinker, as they say.
Even now, Jaskier stands before the door, key in hand, contemplating. He can feel the pull, the allure of Other-Geralt's kind words and ready smiles. He knows he's being stupid. He knows he's potentially putting himself and everyone else in Kaer Morhen in danger. He could lock the door and throw the key off a cliff. No one would ever be the wiser.
But real Geralt hasn't said so much as a word to Jaskier in a week.
And Jaskier is so very selfish.
He fits the key in the lock and opens the door.