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“What’s up Mechanic?” Harley asked as he walked into the bakery.
“Hello, Harley, how was school?” Tony asked, squinting at the pastries he had left.
“School was school,” Harley said with a shrug.
“What treat do I get while I work on my homework?”
“Marble pound cake,”
“Sweet,”
Tony shifted his gaze from the baked goods to his pseudo-son.
“Should I be making you eat more fruits?” he asked.
“Probably,” Harley said with a shrug.
Tony handed Harley a slice of marble pound cake and watched the kid head over to his usual corner table where he sat down and started to yank notebooks out of his backpack.
Fruit tarts , he thought suddenly.
He could make fruit tarts.
That had to count… right?
“Kid, are you allergic to anything?”
“Avocados,”
Tony nodded and then froze, his eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
“Didn’t you put avocado on your burrito last night?”
Harley suddenly became very interested in his homework.
“ Harley ,”
“Man! Not the dad voice,” Harley whined, dropping his head into his hands.
“It’s not bad, I swear! My mouth just gets itchy and my lips feel weird and that’s it!”
“That doesn’t make this any better,” Tony said.
“If it ever gets hard to breathe, I’ll stop,”
“You should stop now!”
“It’s just an itchy mouth!”
“I should tell your mother,”
“She already knows,”
“Excuse the fuck out of me?”
“I told her a few years ago!”
“And she still lets you eat them?!”
“It’s entirely possible that she either forgot or assumed I grew out of the allergy,”
“Oh my god,”
Harley shot him a look that Tony supposed could be innocent if the kid was capable of such a feat.
“Tell your mom, or I will,”
Harley groaned.
“Fine,”
“Thank you, now I have to see if Ana has any fruit tart recipes,” Tony said.
“Does that actually count as fruit?” Harley asked.
“I mean… it has fruit in the name,”
“So does fruitcake,”
“Fruitcake has chunks of fruit in it,” Tony said.
Then-
“... right?”
Harley huffed.
“You’re the baker, not me,”
Fuck, he was right. Tony should know that.
“Whatever,” Tony said because he was a mature adult.
“Whatever,” Harley mocked because he was an immature child.
The cashier, a high school senior named Olivia, walked in from the back.
“Hey, Harley, wanna help me with my lines?”
“After I finish my history homework, sure,”
Tony smiled to himself as he headed into the back. He made his way to his office and sat down at his desk and started flipping through Ana’s recipes to try and find some kind of fruit tart.
The decision to take a break from the Avengers and Iron Man had been laughably easy. After the incident with the Mandarin he needed a break(™). So he took a sabbatical, went right back to Rose Hill, Tennessee, and opened a bakery.
He had been very little, maybe five or six, when Ana recruited him to help with the baking. Tony loved it immediately. The older he got, the more relaxing he had found baking to be.
So when Avengering and superheroing became too stressful and he needed to relax, the obvious solution seemed to be to open a bakery.
Why Rose Hill?
It had been the obvious choice. In the two - maybe three - days he had known Harley, he had subconsciously adopted the kid, he was an absolute hoot. And, Harley’s mother let slip that Tony was the closest thing the kid ever had to a father.
No, Tony did not cry about it.
“He’s allergic! And he still eats them! Honey pot, who does that?” Tony demanded.
He was in the middle of making some kind of vegetable soup. He was far better at baking than cooking, but it was pretty damn hard to fuck up soup, so he should be fine.
Probably.
“You do, Tones,” Rhodes said, sounding both fond and exasperated.
“Excuse the fuck out of me?” Tony asked, glaring at his phone as if Rhodey could actually see him.
“You willingly drink smoothies that sometimes have motor oil in them,” Rhodes pointed out.
“It’s not like there's a lot of motor oil!” Tony protested.
Rhodes didn’t respond.
“I hear it,” Tony muttered.
“Mhm,” Rhodey said smugly.
Tony’s phone buzzed and he shifted his gaze from the soup he was making and to the message.
“Oh,” he said quietly, blinking back tears.
“Tones?”
“Helen just messaged. She uh… wanted to know if I was aware that my son had an avocado allergy,” he said.
“From what I’ve heard, he’s a mini you. Which is hilarious and nothing less than what you deserve,” Rhodes said.
“You’re just being dramatic,” Tony said with an eyeroll.
“Me? Dramatic?! Remember that time-”
“I suddenly have amnesia. Who are you? Where am I?”
“You just proved my point,”
Fuck .
“What point?”
“You’re an idiot,”
“You’re so mean to me, honey bear,” Tony cooed.
“So now you remember,” Rhodey teased.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,”
“Whatever. Alright Tones, I gotta go,”
“Bye platypus, love you!”
“Love you too, Tones,”
Tony ended the call and decided to call Helen.
“So? Did you know?” Helen demanded the second she answered the call.
“Found out this morning,” Tony said, holding his hands up like she could actually see him.
“Hm. What a little shit,” she said fondly.
“HEY!” he heard Harley yell.
Tony laughed.
“Rhodes said dealing with Harley is cosmic karma,”
Helen cackled.
“I resent that!” Harley hollered.
“Har- put the avocado down-!”
The line went dead and Tony laughed so hard his stomach hurt.
“Hey kid! I made fruit tarts!”
“Avocado?” Harley asked, his eyes lighting up.
“No,”
Olivia, who was sitting in front of the cash register with a book in her hands, snorted.
“Mom won’t even buy them anymore,”
“That’s rough buddy,” Olivia said, not lifting her gaze from her book.
“Have you tried not being allergic to them?” Tony asked.
Harley stared at Tony, put his headphones on, and pressed something on his phone before turning away and pulling notebooks out from his backpack.
“Teenagers,” Olivia mused, flipping the page of her book.
“But aren’t - you know what? Nevermind,” Tony muttered.
“Nevermind!” he announced, throwing his hands up in the air and disappearing back into the kitchen on his way to his office and to start to figure out what new recipe he wanted to debut.
“Hey, Mechanic? What do you remember about a catcher in the rye ?”
“Main character is a bitch- should I start making fudge?”
“Yes!”
“I like dark chocolate,” Harley added.
“Of course you do! You have taste,”
“Anyway, thanks Mechanic. Love you,”
“Love you too,”
Then Harley was gone and Tony realized what they had just said.
“I really am a dad,” he muttered.
Then-
“Why the fuck does he want to know about catcher in the rye ?”
It was probably nothing.
Probably.
“Hey Tony?” he heard Olivia call, her voice wavering slightly.
Tony darted out of the kitchen, ready to throw someone out of the bakery- but Olivia shoved her phone toward him.
“Captain America named public enemy number one. Main suspect in death of government official,” Tony read.
“What the hell?”
What the hell ?
“You… you can go home. I’m gonna close up. I’ll pay you for the whole day,” he said, his brow furrowed.
“Thanks Mr. Stark. I’ll message Kevin, tell him he doesn’t have to come in,”
“He gets full pay too,” Tony said as he pulled out his phone.
“Thanks Mr. Stark,”
Then she was gone and Tony was cleaning up and closing up the bakery and JARVIS was telling him that Fury was dead- killed by Steve- which Tony didn’t believe at all. For one, he was convinced that nothing short of an exploding nebula could kill Fury, and second… Steve? - America's golden boy - would never just up and kill Nicholas J Fury.
“J… call Cap,” he said.
The line rang three times before Steve answered.
“Stark?”
“You’re public enemy number one,” Tony said by way of greeting.
“I didn’t kill Fury. The Winter Soldier did,” Steve said.
That was a new name.
“Dramatic,” Tony commented.
Steve sighed, but Tony thought he could hear a bit of a smile in that sigh.
“I can have J look into him,” Tony offered.
“Stark!” he heard Natasha called.
Of course she was involved.
“Ms. Rushman! Of course you’re a part of this!”
“Hydra is still alive and in SHIELD,”
Tony let out a low whistle.
“Can I help?” he asked.
There was a moment of silence between them.
“I think we have to dump all of SHIELD’s secrets to expose Hydra. Can you be ready to intercept the more sensitive data? Secret identities and undercover agent identities?” Natasha asked.
“Yep,” Tony said, popping the ‘p’.
“Thanks shellhead,” she said.
“Don’t worry about it Natatat, you want me to look into this Winter Soldier guy?”
“No need. Next time I see him I’m putting a bullet between his eyes for what he did to Fury,” she said.
Tony snorted.
“I’ll get J all set up,” he told them.
“Thanks, Stark,”
“Stay safe,” Tony said and hung up.
“J, get ready to shift through all of SHIELD’s data, and get ready to pull anything pertaining to safe houses, undercover agents, secret identities, and anything that could be potentially dangerous to the general populace - like weapons,” Tony said.
“ Yes sir ,”
“Oh, and look-”
“Holy shit who did Cap kill?” Harley yelled as he walked into the empty bakery through the front door that Tony had forgotten to lock.
“Cap didn’t kill anyone, also, language,” Tony said as he tucked his phone away.
Harley rolled his eyes.
“Mom saw the news, wants you to come over for dinner,” he said.
“Let me finish closing, and we can go,”
Harley nodded.
“So, who did he kill?”
Tony sighed.
“He was framed. How was school?”
“Fine,”
“What’d you learn?”
“I dunno,”
Teenagers .
“Fascinating conversation, kid,” Tony said before ducking into the kitchen.
He turned off his computer, turned his office light off, made sure all the ovens and stoves were off, turned off the kitchen lights, and headed into the main room. Harley was wiping down the counter and had already removed the leftover pastries from the display case.
“I boxed some up to bring home,” Harley said, gesturing to the box on the counter.
“Thanks kid,”
It took a little longer for them to close up, then they took the leftover goods to the food bank, and Tony drove them to Harley’s house.
Dinner at the Keener house kept Tony’s mind off of Steve and Natasha and all the SHIELD nonsense. He was bullied (gently and lovingly) into staying after dinner to play video games with Harley and his little sister, Jamie.
Tony ended up crashing on the couch like his back wasn’t going to kill him in the morning for it.
His alarm rang at 4 am, and as quietly as he could, he got his stuff together and left the house so he could start baking.
The day passed all too quickly and the next thing he knew, Cap was on the news, 3 helicarriers were blown up, and SHIELD’s secrets had been exposed to the public.
“J, you need any help?” Tony asked.
“ No, sir, everything is under control ,” JARVIS replied.
“Thanks, J,”
“ I have flagged any and all potential Hydra agents and am sending their files to members of the government who have not been flagged as possible Hydra ,”
Tony nodded.
“Is Stern Hydra?” he asked.
“ Yes, sir ,”
“I fucking knew it,” Tony muttered.
He shook his head and squinted at the fudge in front of him. It looked good - looked like fudge was supposed to.
But was it good enough?
“Mechanic!”
Tony jumped at Harley’s voice. The kid burst into the kitchen, looking beyond thrilled.
“Why are you here? School isn’t supposed to be out yet - are you skipping?”
“They let us out early because of the whole SHIELD thing,” he said.
“It’s happening in DC,”
Harley shrugged.
“Is that fudge?!”
“Yep. Want a piece?”
Harley nodded, a wide smile on his face. Tony cut the fudge into appropriately sized rectangles and handed one to Harley- who wasted no time in shoving it into his mouth.
“Do you need to go help them?- this is really good,”
Tony smiled softly.
“Thank you, and no, I already asked if I needed to haul ass to DC. Everything’s already done, and J is securing certain files that can’t go public, so I expect someone to start badgering me for the information very soon,”
Tony grabbed his phone suddenly and opened up Twitter.
Tony Stark ✓ @YouKnowWhoIAm
Hey @SenatorStern ! Fuck you buddy!
“Hydra scum,” Tony muttered to himself.
“Shit’s wild,” Harley said, shoving another piece of fudge into his mouth.
“Language- and stop that! One piece and you know that,” Tony said.
Harley groaned.
“Go do your homework,”
Harley snagged a third piece of fudge before darting out of the kitchen.
“Brat!” Tony yelled after him.
His phone rang before he could do anything else.
“Hey platypus,”
“Very professional tweet, Tones,”
Tony grinned.
“He was the one who yelled it out at my hearing!” Tony protested.
“I know, I was there,”
“Anyway as far as I’m concerned, and based on what J showed me, he was ok with using those fuck all big helicarriers that I helped fucking design to kill everyone!”
Tony let out a heavy breath.
“I’m never working for anyone but me ever again,” he swore.
All Fury had told him was he wanted a better way to keep the helicarriers aloft, so Tony had gone and designed something. And it had almost been used to kill all of humanity.
“I’m never coming out of retirement. Gonna bake for the rest of my life,” he muttered.
“I’ll come visit soon, Tones,” Rhodes promised.
“Thanks platypus. I miss you,” Tony said quietly.
“Miss you too, Tones,”
There was a beat of silence.
“God Stern is a piece of shit,”
Tony laughed.
“He really is,”
“I’m gonna stress bake fudge,” Tony said.
“Make some with caramel,”
“Anything for you, platypus,”
“How’s the kid?” Rhodes asked.
“Stole two extra pieces of fudge,” Tony reported.
Rhodey laughed.
“He’s like your tiny little clone,”
Tony huffed and rolled his eyes.
“He sure is something,” Tony agreed.
“So- caramel… what else?”
“Peanut butter,” Rhodes said.
“Obviously,”
“Peanut butter and caramel, I can do that,” Tony said after a moment.
“If I swing by, and that kid of yours has eaten all the fudge, I’m going to lose it,” Rhodes warned.
“I would love to see you try and talk your grown-up nonsense to this kid,” Tony muttered.
“Alright. I’m gonna crack some eggs, I’ll talk to you later, honey pot,”
“See you soon, Tones,” Rhodes said.
Tony smiled and ended the call. He got out everything he needed for his two new batches of fudge and started puttering around the kitchen.
It took another week for Rhodes to show up. Tony was overjoyed to have his friend back. Rhodey filled him in on the mess the SHIELD data dump did to the military. Tony filled him in on the Rose Hill gossip. Harley - the wonderful child he was - roasted the shit out of them both on a daily basis.
Then, Rhodey had to go back to work, and Tony turned all his focus back to his little bakery.
Tony squinted at the display case, a slight frown on his face as the door to the bakery opened.
“Hello, what can I get you today?” he asked.
It was midterms, which meant Olivia had a (paid) week off from work so she could focus on her studies. Tragically, it meant Tony was the frontman for the week. It was his least favorite job in the bakery.
“One of the plum pastries, please,”
Tony looked over at the raspy voice. The man who spoke had brown hair tucked under a dark blue cap, he had a strong jaw, icy blue eyes, and frankly a beautiful face.
“Anything else?” Tony asked as he pulled the pastry from the case.
“A water?” the man croaked.
Tony nodded and grabbed a water. He totaled up the cost and the man handed over a few crumpled dollars.
“Keep the change,”
“Thank you,”
The man grabbed the pastry and the water and shuffled to the corner table. Tony watched him for a moment. He didn’t look familiar which meant he probably didn’t live in Rose Hill. It was a small town, everyone knew everyone.
“You visiting someone?” Tony asked curiously.
“What?”
“It’s a small town, I don’t remember seeing you around,” Tony explained with a shrug.
“Just passing through,” the man said.
Tony just nodded and grabbed a towel to wipe down the counter for the umpteenth time for the day.
The man at the corner table pulled out a small black notebook and a pen. Tony decided it was probably fine to pull out his phone and not pay attention to the shop.
“Mechanic!”
Tony jumped and looked up from his phone to see Harley.
“I have a heart problem you little goblin,”
“Ok. Anyway - you got me in trouble at school,”
Tony squinted at the kid.
“I have - quite literally - been on my best behavior since I got here,”
“Mr. S says it’s not nice to call someone a little bitch, fictional or not,”
“Fict-”
“Oh god kid, tell me you didn’t quote me,” Tony pleaded, suddenly and violently remembering that he had called Holden Caulfield a little bitch a few weeks earlier.
“I needed quotes to support my argument that Holden Caulfield is the worst character to ever exist, and you called him a little bitch,” Harley said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
The man at the corner table snorted, then almost immediately went pink.
“Sorry,”
“See? He laughed because I’m right!”
Both Harley and Tony looked at the man. He seemed vaguely startled at being addressed by them.
“He’s… not particularly an enjoyable character,” the man agreed.
“Kid - I’m not saying Caulfield is a good character, he sucks - but you can’t quote me like that,” Tony said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Fine, next time I’ll call him a little bitch and not credit you,” Harley said.
The man in the corner laughed again, his cheeks going pink once more.
“Plagiarism is illegal, you terrible gremlin child,”
Harley grinned at him.
“Illegal? They’re gonna lock up a 12 year-old for not quoting his dad?”
“Yep - right?” Tony asked the man in the corner - who once again seemed surprised that he was being addressed.
“Yes,” he agreed.
Harley didn’t look impressed with either of them.
“Whatever - can I have one of those sandwich croissant things?”
Tony just nodded and pulled out the ingredients to make two sandwiches and then warmed them up. When they were done, he bagged them and handed both to Harley with a nod to the man in the corner.
“Hey, man, have you read the Hobbit?” Harley asked as he set the sandwich down in front of the man.
“Uh… yea… a long time ago,”
“Was it good?”
The man nodded.
“Can’t quote you if you don’t use your words,” Harley pointed out.
“Though were weren’ suppose’ta quote people,” the man replied.
“Well as long as you don’t call anyone any names,”
The man smiled softly.
“It’s not like you asked to quote me,” Tony muttered.
“Dunno why he thinks I need to ask him - he’s basically my father. I’m Harley by the way, that’s Tony - he knows Iron Patriot-”
“War Machine! His name is War Machine!” Tony announced before vanishing into the back.
“James,” the man said.
“Dad already knows a James, you’re going to have to change your name,” Harley informed him.
“Wha-”
“Anyway, tell me about the Hobbit,”
James looked at him like he was insane - which he probably was for asking a stranger about the Hobbit - but starting talking anyway.
When Tony emerged from the kitchen, Harley and the man were deep in discussion about the Hobbit.
Nerds .
As if Tony and Rhodey hadn’t read all three Lord of the Rings books and been to every midnight premier.
“Alright kid. It’s dark and cold and I don’t want to be here anymore,”
Harley nodded and closed the book.
“If you and uh-”
“James,”
“Huh. My best friend is a James. Jim, technically - never called him by his name in my life - anyway, if you and James wanna pack up, I’ll go shut down the back,” Tony said.
He returned to the back, performed a quick sweep through to make sure everything was shut down and clean before heading out to the main room to continue cleaning.
“You gonna be here tomorrow Mr. James?” Harley asked as Tony flipped the lights off.
James gave a jerky shrug.
“Don’ really stay in one place long,” he said.
“Oh,”
“I - I don’ even have a place t’ stay here,”
Harley lit up.
“You can stay with-”
“No! Your mother will have a conniption. He’ll stay at the inn. Betty loves the caramel fudge, and she’ll probably let him stay for free if he helps around the place,” Tony said.
So James stayed. Betty, the sweet old lady who owned the inn, let him stay for free if he helped repair and maintain the ancient Victorian house that was the inn.
When those chores started to dwindle, he managed to get a job at a mechanics garage. He knew his way around a car and he got to keep his metal arm and hand covered. He went to the bakery almost everyday after work so he could be bothered by Harley - the fact that he, the infamous Winter Soldier, was allowing himself to be bullied by a teenager was fucking remarkable.
One afternoon, nearly two weeks after James had decided to stick around, Tony had asked him if he was running from something or someone and James had had to fudge the truth and tell Tony that he had been raised in a cult and was trying to stay under the radar. The cult half-lie ended up being an excellent cover story as James often could not make heads or tales of some of the things Harley and Tony said and James never had to hide his confusion from them.
James walked into the bakery to find Tony behind the counter. Neither Olivia nor Harley were there.
“Where-?”
“The little goblin is sick, and Olivia is in the school play and rehearsals are running late,” Tony told him.
James just nodded.
“Plum tarts?” Tony asked.
“Please,” James said with a smile.
He watched the baker click a pair of tongs a few times before grabbing a plum pastry and placing it in a bag. He righted himself and winced slightly, his free hand coming up to gently rub his chest.
“Had heart surgery a while back,” Tony said, reading the concern that must be showing on James’ face.
“Always feels weird before a storm,”
James nodded.
“‘M shoulder hurts too,” he said as he took the bag from Tony.
Tony’s literal fucking doe eyes flicked to his shoulders for a brief moment, but he didn’t press further.
“Unfortunately for us, Jimothy, it’s the rainy season,”
James huffed out a laugh. Tony seemed averse to calling him by his name. He always used Jimothy, or Jim-Jam, or Jamborie, or something equally ridiculous. He had a feeling if Tony knew about his metal arm it would only open up a whole new world of possible nicknames. Sometimes the temptation to see how creative the baker could be was almost enough to tell him about his arm.
“Lucky us,” James muttered as he took his usual seat at the corner table.
Tony snorted.
“If I still lived in California this wouldn’t be happening, it never fucking storms there,” Tony said dramatically.
“Naw, the earth just fuckin’ shakes,” James drawled.
“Shakey earth doesn’t make my chest hurt,”
It was James’ turn to snort. It occurred to him then just how little he knew about Tony - besides the obvious that he was a baker, had a best friend who was also named James, and for some reason knew Iron Man and War Machine.
“How long’d you live in California?”
“Most of my adult life, then I moved to New York and only spent the winters back in Malibu,” Tony said.
“I’ve only been here since January,” he added.
“Why Rose Hill?”
Tony arched an eyebrow.
“I could ask you the same question,”
James huffed.
“‘S quiet here,” he said after a moment.
Rose Hill was the first place where he didn’t feel the urge to run - or to constantly look over his shoulder for Hydra.
“Plus, I’m pretty sure Harley adopted me as his father before I even made the decision to move down here… and I’m not going to be this kid’s Howard,”
James stared at him for a moment.
“You’re tellin’ me that kid ain’t even related to you?” he demanded.
Tony barked out a laugh.
“You’re not the first person to assume that,” Tony said.
“My honey pot says it’s cosmic karma,”
He rubbed his chest again and sighed.
“I give up. I’m gonna close up and go home to watch Lord of the Rings,” he muttered.
“Watch what?” James asked.
Tony gaped for a moment.
“Oh - I forgot you were raised in a cult. Lord of the Rings - sequel to the Hobbit - you wanna come watch it with me?”
“Sure,”
James helped him clean up and close up, then followed Tony to his apartment above the bakery.
Thus, a new tradition was born. Every evening when Tony would close up, James would help him, they would take Harley home, drop the extra food off at the food bank, and then return to Tony’s apartment above the bakery to watch a movie that James had yet to see. There were a lot of movies that he had yet to see.
He even started to get invited to family dinner night at the Keener residence where he was introduced to a whole slew of Disney movies thanks to Harley’s little sister, Jamie.
“That is exactly what you look like tryin’ to get your way,” James pointed out.
Tony glanced up from Harley’s homework to see Bambi on screen, pouting over… something.
“You saying I look like a deer?” Tony asked.
“Sure do… Bambi,”
Tony grinned at him, fluttering his eyelashes obnoxiously.
“Took you long enough to think of something, Jam and Bread,”
James snorted and returned his attention back to the movie.
“Ok, I have the notes…” he heard Harley say before the two descended back into their conversation about math.
Tony emerged from the bakery kitchen to find Olivia, James, and Harley huddled around the corner table.
“What,” he said blankly.
The three of them whipped around to stare at him, trying (and failing) to shield whatever they were hiding on the table.
“Is that a fucking cat?” Tony asked, peering over Harley’s head.
“Her name is Alpine,” James blurted out.
Alpine was a very fluffy white cat with big green eyes.
“Where did you get a cat?”
All three of them decided that the ceiling was suddenly very interesting. Oh this was going to be good.
“Found her in a dumpster,” James said after a few moments of silence.
“You brought a dumpster cat into my bakery,”
“Yes… but look how cute she is!”
She was a very pretty cat, she looked very kind and polite. Tony could respect that.
“Do dumpster cats eat pastries?” Tony asked.
“Mr. Stark, stop calling her that! She’ll get a complex!” Olivia protested.
Tony arched an eyebrow and approached the white cat. He leaned down so they were face to face and he was staring into her green eyes.
“You are a dumpster cat,” he told her.
She blinked at him.
“She agrees,” he said firmly as he straightened.
He pulled out his phone so he could get in touch with JARVIS.
“J can you get… cat stuff and send it to James’ place?”
“Aw, hell Bambi…” he heard James whisper.
“ Cat stuff, sir? ” JARVIS asked.
“He’s gone and adopted a dumpster cat- oh and get her into a good vet here in town, yea?”
“ Of course, sir. May I get her name? ”
“Alpine,”
“ I’ll get everything settled, sir ,” JARVIS assured him.
“Thanks J,” Tony said before he ended the call.
“JARVIS is going to take care of everything,” Tony said to James.
“You didn’ have’ta do that,”
Tony shrugged.
“Can’t let this little dumpster girl stay a dumpster girl,” he said.
James received all the cat goodies less than three days later - and an email confirming that Alpine had a vet appointment that day at noon. He took the day off from work to set everything up. Then he took Alpine to the vet and got her all checked out and made sure she was healthy. Once the vet finished their check-up, he took Alpine back home and spent the rest of the day bonding with her. Before he knew it, it was time to head over to Tony’s for movie night.
James noticed, as the days progressed, that Harley was a little… short with him and James couldn’t think of a single thing he had done to piss the kid off.
“Jimothy watch the shop will you? I gotta check something in the back,”
“Sure thing, Bambi,”
Tony rolled his eyes but grinned as he headed into the back. James swung around the counter so if anyone walked into the bakery it would at least look like someone worked there.
He had hardly gotten to the register when Harley pushed away from the table and approached him.
“Why do you call him that? It’s kind of messed up,” Harley said, his arms folded over his chest.
James felt his eyebrows furrow. Is that why the kid had been upset with him the past few days? ‘Cause he had an issue with the nickname Bucky had for Tony?
“Why?”
Harley stared at him for a moment, looking entirely unimpressed.
“‘Cause his mom died?”
James blinked.
“Recently?”
“What? No. It was like in the 90’s or something, a car crash,”
A memory flashed through James’ head before he forced it down.
Before James could respond to that, Tony emerged from the back.
“Hey, Mechanic?”
“Yea?”
“You ever read Romeo and Juliet?”
“A plague!” Tony cried suddenly and dramatically.
“A plague on both your houses!”
“I’ll take that as a yes,”
“Tony?” James asked later that evening, they were in Tony’s apartment above the bakery, getting ready for movie night.
“Hm?”
“Why does Harley call you ‘Mechanic’?”
Tony huffed out a quiet laugh.
“‘Cause I make things - and I’m really good at it, just needed a break,” he said.
“Like… mechanical stuff?”
“That’s what ‘mechanic’ generally refers to,” Tony agreed.
James looked down at his gloved hand for a moment before slowly pulling the soft leather glove off to reveal his metal hand.
“What,” Tony said blankly.
“Got it torn off a few years ago,”
70 years counted as a few, right?
“And your cult gave you a metal arm?” Tony asked.
James nodded.
“Can I see the rest of it?” he asked.
James nodded again and pulled off his shirt, holding the fabric tightly in his flesh hand. Tony circled him, muttering quietly under his breath before he reached out to prod the arm, the panels shifted slightly.
“You have a full range of motion?” Tony asked.
“Yea,”
Tony squinted.
“Wriggle your fingers,”
James wriggled his fingers. Tony muttered something that sounded like ‘neurally connected’ under his breath.
“It’s an impressive feat of engineering - looks fucking archaeic though,”
It was 70 years old.
“I can make a better one,”
“What?”
“Your arm. I can make a better one - less culty - if you want,” Tony said, gesturing to the red star on his shoulder.
“What?” James asked again.
“I built Iron Man and War Machine - the first one in a cave in Afghanistan - I think I can handle making an arm,”
That was so much goddamn information in so little time.
“I jus’... want’d t’ ask if you’d take a look at my shoulder… I don’ need a whole new arm,” James said even though he wanted a new non-Hydra arm so bad his chest ached.
Tony just nodded.
“If you change your mind, let me know - let me grab my tools. You can… get comfortable,”
James sat down backwards on one of the kitchen table chairs so he could lean against the back of the chair while Tony worked.
Tony emerged from the hallway with a large toolbox. James forced his shoulder panels open.
“What’s the issue?” Tony asked quietly.
James shifted his arm back, wincing slightly as he did so.
“Feels wrong,”
Tony hummed thoughtfully and asked James to repeat the movement twice.
“There you are,” he heard Tony mutter.
“Relax,”
James did as instructed.
“You… can’t feel any of this, right?”
“Nah,”
“Good. I’ve had surgery without any kind of anesthesia,” Tony said nonchalantly.
“ What ?!”
“Afghanistan,”
“I don’ think that’s the answer you think it is, doll,”
Fuck.
“I was… in Afghanistan to show off a new bomb I had developed and my envoy got attacked. One of my own bombs exploded next to me… and when I woke up I had an electromagnet in my chest - powered by a car battery - to keep the bomb shrapnel from getting to my heart,” Tony said.
“What the fuck,”
“They - uh the 10 Rings - wanted me to build them weapons, and I didn’t want to do that, so I traded the damn car battery for the arc reactor, built Iron Man, and I blew the base up,” he said.
For a few moments they were silent. James tried to digest all the new information he had just learned about his friend. James knew of the Ten Rings, but he had never worked with them personally. He knew enough about them to hazard a few guesses of what they must have done to Tony in Afghanistan. Loyal, kind, brilliant, funny Tony… who apparently built the Iron Man and War Machine suits. James didn’t know too much about Iron Man - he had seen the red and gold suit on the news once… it had been everything he expected of the future.
“I uh… don’ really remember how I got hurt, but I woke up an’ m’ arm was gone, an’ I had this thing instead…”
James remembered the panic clawing at his throat at the sight of the unfamiliar limb. Tony paused his work for a moment to squeeze James’ flesh shoulder.
Then-
“Aha! Found the little shit,”
They were once again silent for a few moments as Tony worked to fix whatever was wrong with James’ arm.
“Ok, try moving,”
James shifted his arm back and felt nothing.
“Shit - thanks Bambi,” he said.
“Anytime,”
James closed up the panels on his shoulder and put his shirt back on. Tony cleaned up his tools and returned them to wherever he kept them.
“Alright, did we have a movie in mind for tonight?” Tony asked.
“Not that I know of,”
“Cool. We’re watching an absolute masterpiece,”
“Oh no,”
Tony shot him a dry, unimpressed look, but the tell tale quirk of his lips gave his amusement away.
James smiled softly as they settled into the familiarity of movie night. The strange movies, the ridiculous banter, the neverending amount of snacks and/or take out and/or leftovers that Tony could produce.
The ‘absolute masterpiece’ Tony had chosen for the evening, was Romeo + Juliet… which… Tony had very accurately quoted back in the bakery, naturally managing to capture Mercutio’s dramatic dying curse.
James was half asleep when the puzzle pieces started to fall into place.
Tony - James’s first friend in over 70 years - was obviously fucking brilliant. His mother had been killed in a car crash in the 90’s. He had mentioned not wanting to be Harley’s ‘Howard’ - though James wasn’t sure exactly who Howard was. If Howard was Tony’s father that…
James shook his head with a groan.
In 1991, he had been forced to kill Howard and Maria Stark in order to steal the super soldier serum. He had made it look like a car crash.
He needed to know for sure.
Tony had built Iron Man and War Machine. There was probably something about him on the internet. And if he was who James feared he was…
James swallowed around the lump of bile in his throat and reached for his phone. He was desperately hoping that he was wrong, that Tony wasn’t the son of Howard and Maria.
He typed ‘Iron Man’ into the search engine. The first result was a video from 2010.
James tapped on it and watched Tony - his Tony - fumble through some bullshit cover story.
“The truth is…”
His impossibly big brown eyes flashed to the camera.
“I am Iron Man,”
How ostentatious , James thought fondly.
There was another video after that one.
“I have a little holiday greeting for the Mandarin,” on-screen Tony said.
“I just didn’t know how to phrase it until now. My name is Tony Stark, and I’m not afraid of you-”
James clicked out of the video, his heart thundering in his chest. Stark . The last name of the man and woman he killed in 1991. The car crash.
He scrolled down a bit and tapped on Tony’s Wikipedia page - because of-fucking-course - the man had a damn Wikipedia page.
Anthony Edward “Tony” Stark was born on May 29th, 1970, in Manhattan, New York to Howard Stark, a famous genius inventor and businessman, and Maria Stark, a socialite and philanthropist .
James dropped the phone like it had burned him.
He had killed Tony’s parents.
He had been forced to kill Tony’s parents.
Alpine (an empath) sensing his distress, curled up against his side. James brushed his fingers against her head.
Tony was the first person James had been able to trust since before Hydra, and James had been the one to kill his parents.
What the fuck .
He… he had to tell Tony. He couldn’t let their friendship continue without telling him - their friendship that James fucking cherised above all else. He needed to tell Tony. He shot out of bed - disrupting poor Alpine - and yanked on a shirt and his shoes and all but ran to Tony’s apartment. He bounded up the stairs and knocked on the door.
“Fuck, fucking, fuck,” he hissed.
It was the middle of the night, he should have waited-
The door was yanked open.
“James? Are you ok?” Tony asked as he ushered James into his apartment.
“‘M… I’m so sorry,”
“What? Why?” Tony asked, his brown eyes wide, his fluffy brown hair a mess.
“My… I’m the Winter Soldier and I… I killed them. I caused the crash. Made it look like it killed them. I killed-”
“My parents,” Tony finished.
The silence was unbearable.
“I’m sorry- they made me do it - I never had a choice - I’m so sorry,” James choked out.
Tony’s hands were clenched into fists so tight his knuckles had turned white.
“Who forced you?” he demanded.
“Hydra,”
Tony shuddered.
“S’why I was runnin’ when we met. Finally got free,”
There was another long stretch of silence. Tony just stood there, his eyes ablaze, his jaw clenched, looking like there was nothing he would rather do than beat the shit out of James. And James would let him.
“Why my mom? Why her?” Tony asked, his voice breaking.
“They told me no witnesses,”
“What… why them? What did they do? What did she do?”
“Howard… managed to recreate the super soldier serum. Hydra wanted it. They sent me to get it,”
“Super soldier serum,” Tony whispered.
“They wanted more than jus’ me,”
Tony’s brilliant eyes narrowed.
“I was injected with the stuff they managed to recreate from Stevie’s blood,”
Tony’s expression did something devastating before all emotion vanished. James could practically see him piecing it all together.
“Who are you?”
“My name is James Buchanan Barnes. Was captured in ‘43 and injected with the serum, rescued by Captain America, and in ‘45 I fell off a train… and Hydra found me and turned me into the Winter Soldier.,”
Tony’s hands shook as he pushed them through his hair.
“How did Hydra get Cap’s best friend to become their attack dog?” Tony asked.
“They brainwashed me. Put 10 trigger words in my head… all I could do was follow their orders,” James whispered.
“I’m sorry. If I had any other choice, I-”
Tony cut him off with a wave of his hand.
“Why tell me now?”
James felt a flush on his cheeks.
“Didn’ put together who you were until now,”
Tony’s eyebrows shot up.
“T’me you were jus’ Tony the baker,”
James watched the way Tony’s fingers fidgeted, like he was desperate to hold something.
“Does…” Tony hesitated for a moment.
“Does Steve know who you are?”
James nodded.
Tony’s expression crumpled. It took him a few moments to work the expression off his face, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. His hands were shaking worse than ever as he pulled his phone from the pocket of his sweats. He tapped the sleek phone a few times before he held it up to his ear.
“I looked into the Winter Soldier. Do you know who he is and what he did?” Tony asked.
The response only seemed to piss Tony off.
“Don’t bullshit me Steve. Did you know?” Tony hissed.
Tony’s shoulders fell suddenly and he tossed the phone to the side. The sinking feeling in James’ chest only got worse.
“He knew?”
“He’s known since the fall of SHIELD. I offered to look into you, and he said it wasn’t necessary,” Tony said as he pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes.
“Why did you tell me?”
James swallowed thickly.
“‘Cause you’re important to me,”
Tony looked like he was going to burst into tears.
“You treat me like a person… not just a means to an end… I feel normal here, with you,”
Tony nodded slowly.
“I really hate what you did,”
“Me too,” James said softly.
“Thank you for telling me,”
What.
“You could have pulled a Steve- and a Nat- fuck .- and kept it from me,” Tony said with a shrug.
“But… I’m gonna need some time… and space,” Tony said.
James just nodded.
“‘S probably for the best if I move on,” James agreed.
“I’m not saying you should skip town - you’d break Harley’s heart if you just up and vanished. I’m just saying that I need a break… have to come to terms with the fact that out of everyone who knew the truth about my parents, the only one who respects me enough to tell me about them was the man who was forced to kill them,”
“I’m sorry,”
Then-
“Thank you,”
Tony’s head shot up.
“Why?”
“For not tellin’ him where I am,”
Tony seemed surprised for a moment, like the idea had never crossed his mind, and James honestly doubted that it had.
“I’ll… I’ll just go,”
Tony nodded and James left his apartment. For a moment Tony stood there, in the middle of his apartment, trying to absorb the information he had just been told.
James was Sergeant James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes.
He hadn’t died in 1945.
He had been Hydra’s murder puppet for 70 years.
He had killed Howard and Maria.
He had killed Tony’s mom.
Tony shuffled across the room and grabbed his phone and for a moment he stared at it before he got in touch with JARVIS. He had work to do.
It was a long week before James saw Tony again. Harley stopped by a few times to complain how highly inconvenient it was that they were fighting as it meant he now had to shuffle between them like a child of divorce and if he wanted to do that he would have bothered to figure out where his biological father had fucked off too.
He was dramatic.
Then, one morning, he received a text from Tony.
Do you want to swing by the bakery later?
James - wrist deep in the engine of a car - just reacted with a thumbs up on the message. He tried to focus on his work, but his mind kept wandering to Tony. By the time his shift was finished, he was an absolute mess. He was entirely convinced that Tony was going to tell him that he wanted nothing to do with him and James was going to lose his only friend.
You never deserved him anyway , a nasty voice in the back of his head said.
“Fuck,”
He stepped into the bakery and-
“Fucking finally!” Harley announced.
“Language!” James, Tony, and the man sitting with Harley cried.
Harley didn’t look impressed nor properly chastised.
“Whatever,”
The man sitting next to Harley stood up.
“James Rhodes,” he said, offering his hand out.
The man standing before him was Colonel James Rhodes, aka War Machine, aka Tony’s best friend.
“James Barnes,” James said as he shook the offered hand.
“Haha, like that WWII guy,” Harley said.
“I’m way better looking,” James responded.
Tony choked on a laugh. James loved the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed or smiled.
“Plum tart?” Tony asked.
“Please,” James said with a nod.
It was… nice to be back in the bakery.
“Alright, kid. Let’s head out,” Rhodes said.
Harley sighed.
“Fine,”
“Don’t sound so excited. I was going to entertain you with MIT stories,” Rhodes said.
“Platypus!”
Harley lit up.
“So, the first time I met him…”
James watched the two exit the bakery with a small smile on his face.
“I uh… I need to tell you something- and please don’t freak out,”
James turned back to Tony, he was fidgeting with his fingers again.
“After you left… I got in contact with JARVIS, he’s the AI who helps me run my whole life, and he dug into you and what Hydra did to you and how they did it… and I called Rhodes and told him everything that JARVIS had found on you…”
Panic swept over James.
The red book .
“And he was able to track it down…”
He reached beneath the counter and pulled out a blood red book with a black star on it.
“Rhodes found it. If you want to destroy the book - it’s your right. But… I thought… I might be able to disable the triggers,” Tony said.
James blinked, the panic bleeding out of him.
“What?” he croaked.
“I am a genius,”
“You can take the triggers out?” James whispered.
“I can try - and I’m going to need help, I’m sure my Brucie-bear can help - Helen Cho as well - but that’s only if you feel comfortable with other people knowing what’s in this book,”
James swallowed thickly.
“Do you trust them?”
“With my life,”
James nodded.
“I want the triggers out,” he said.
“It’ll take a while- and it might be easier if we move to the Tower,” Tony said.
“Tower?”
“Avengers Tower, in Manhattan,”
“What about the bakery? And Harley?”
Tony smiled softly.
“Everyone I hired is about to move for college, and as for Harley - he’s basically my son, so if he wants he can come visit this summer - if his mom is ok with it,” Tony said.
He looked around the bakery.
“This was never going to be permanent,” he said.
It was another two weeks before they left for the Tower. James had met Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho briefly over a phone call. They both seemed kind and seemingly exceptionally competent.
Harley - having been told the amount of time he was allowed to spend at the Tower was directly proportional to how good his report card was - was studying like crazy.
In the span of two weeks they packed up their lives in Rose Hill. Alpine, did not seem bothered by all the commotion and change.
Then, they were on their way to the Tower.
It was an 11-hour drive, and Tony drove the whole time. By the time they reached the Tower, night had fallen, and Alpine was getting pretty pissed about not being able to leave the car and then she was even more pissed about being gently pushed back in her even smaller cat carrier.
“Took less time to fly there from Malibu in my armor,” Tony muttered as they got out of the car.
“Granted, I was unconscious the whole time,” he added.
James shot him a look.
“How did you even make the trip if you were unconscious?” he asked.
Tony shot him an unimpressed look.
“JARVIS is my co-pilot,” he said as they stepped into the elevator.
“ Welcome home, sir, Sergeant ,” a mechanical British voice greeted.
“Beam us up, J,”
The disembodied voice almost seemed to sigh before the elevator shot up. Tony rocked forward on the balls of his feet, a wide smile on his face.
After a few moments, the elevator slid to a stop and the doors opened with a ding . The apartment before them was at least four times as big as the one James had lived in in Rose Hill.
“This is Rogers floor,” Tony said as they stepped out of the cab.
“Had it entirely updated and reinforced to withstand all of your super soldier rages,”
“My what?”
“I don’t know what you guys do - there’s a full gym - and it’s Rogers, so lots of art supplies. The - uh - tvs are all hooked up, JARVIS can get you any movie or show you ask for,” Tony said.
From her cat carrier, Alpine yowled. James shook his head and set the carrier down and let the cat out. She shot out of the carrier and vanished.
“Bruce already set up the cat stuff,” Tony said.
“Uh - Rogers obviously isn’t here. He’s somewhere in Europe with his new bff Sam Wilson. J is keeping a close eye on them. He’ll let you know if they get anywhere close to the Tower,”
“Thank you,”
Behind them, the elevator dinged open once more. James turned to see two people. The first was a man with greying curls, wearing a sweater several sizes too big for him. The second was an Asian woman with her hair pulled back into a ponytail.
“Dr. Bruce Banner and Dr. Helen Cho. Doctors, this is James Barnes,” Tony introduced.
“Bucky,”
“This is Bucky,” Tony amended.
Bucky shook hands with both of them before Bruce pulled Tony into a hug.
“It’s good to see you Brucie-Bear,” Tony murmured as they parted.
“Alright, Robo-Cop, wanna drop your stuff off and come up to the communal floor for food? - you can stay here if you want to,” Tony said.
“He ordered enough to feed a small army,” Helen said, no shortage of fondness in her voice.
“I have to feed a super-soldier and the Hulk! Not just us poor measly humans,”
“Speak for yourself,”
Both Bucky and Bruce laughed.
“The disrespect,” Tony lamented.
“What’d you order? - and when?”
Tony tapped his left ear.
“I’m always connected to J,” he said.
“Tha’ answered absolutely nothin’,” Bucky said, but nonetheless followed them back into the elevator where they were taken to the communal floor.
Tony, as it turned out, ordered a literal mountain of Italian food which they ate at the kitchen island while Tony and Bruce geeked out with each other. Helen chimed in only to cause mild discourse.
Bucky liked them.
The next day, the work began. One day became one week, One week became two, and two weeks became two and a half. The constant wires and poking and prodding were starting to wear on Bucky’s nerves, but he needed the words out. He needed to be free.
“Alright… Brucie… start up,” Tony said.
As always, Bruce looked agonized that he had to say the trigger words, but he was the only one who spoke Russian.
They had tried to use the trigger words before, always stopping at Bucky’s safe word - which he used when he felt he was on the precipice of becoming the Winter Soldier.
Bruce went through each word. Bucky felt tension coil in his shoulders, drawing them tighter and tighter and then Bruce fell silent. For a few moments Bucky wasn’t sure why, then he realized the last word Bruce said had been freight car . The final trigger word.
Bucky looked up at Bruce, then Helen, then Tony.
“Did you say all ten?” Bucky asked, his voice barely loud enough to be heard.
Bruce nodded.
“I… I’m still me,”
Then, the tears started to fall.
The tests continued for another week, just so they were all 100% sure that Bucky was free of the trigger words, then Helen Cho had to go back to her actual job, and it was just Tony, Bucky, and Bruce.
A dangerous combination.
They definitely caused more than one explosion in Tony’s lab… and Bruce’s… and the kitchen.
“Un-fucking-believable!” Tony announced, staring blankly at his phone.
“Tabloids bashing you?” Bruce guessed.
“The kid got straight A’s!”
Bucky snorted, almost choking on his coffee.
“That means he’ll be here soon, then?” Bruce asked.
Tony nodded.
“Uh… next Wednesday, for a month and a half,”
Bucky let out a low whistle.
“How do I keep a teenager entertained for a month and a half?”
“The circus? Considering you already act like a clown?” Bruce suggested, dry and deadpan.
Tony squawked in offense as Bucky howled with laughter.
“That is slander and you’ll be hearing from my lawyer,”
Bruce just smiled at him.
Between the three of them- two geniuses and a super-soldier - it still took them a week to ensure they had enough things to do with Harley for a month and a half. Tony had even consented to a ballgame or two, claiming he loved watching “sportsball”.
Tony set up Harley’s room in the Penthouse as he wasn’t entirely sure he could trust the kid in any of the Avengers floors - especially not Nat’s or Clint’s - spy shit. And bows and arrows? - a disaster waiting to happen.
Harley had never had so much fun in his life. He got to stay at Avengers Tower, with two of his favorite Avengers and James - who now went by Bucky. He got to attend SI meetings with Tony and butt in whenever he didn’t understand what was happening (Tony loved the interruptions; Pepper, the CEO, was less fond (usually)). He got to do experiments with Tony and Bruce, play pranks with the help of JARVIS, and Bucky taught him how to throw knives - which Harley didn’t think his mom would like, so he decided to keep it a secret. They took him to a few baseball games which Harley found extra hilarious as he and Bucky were the only two who cared about the game and Tony and Bruce kept cheering “yay sportsball” every time the crowd cheered.
Harley woke up one fine Wednesday morning and immediately ran to Tony’s room to wake him up.
“Get up Mechanic! We’re going to the zoo!” Harley yelled and laughed like a maniac as he jumped on the bed.
Tony just groaned loudly and dramatically and pushed Harley over.
“Child abuse,” Harley accused, landing harmlessly on the massive bed.
Tony scoffed.
“Alright, kid, let me get some coffee,”
“I want chocolate chip waffles,’
“You’re a hazard to society,”
Harley just grinned and followed his father down to the communal floor and into the kitchen where Bucky had a cup of coffee waiting and was getting out the ingredients to make chocolate chip waffles.
“Oh, you’re the best Tasty Freeze,”
Harley didn’t pretend to understand some of the nicknames Tony gave Bucky.
“Can I help?” Harley asked.
Bucky nodded, his cheeks pink. Did he have a fever? Did the name ‘Tasty Freeze’ embarrass him?”
“Wanna grab the waffle iron?”
After breakfast, they cleaned up, got dressed, and then they were off to the zoo. It was quite possibly one of the greatest days Harley had had at the Tower. Tony bought passes so they could feed the lemurs (all of whom Harley called Zoboomafoo) and the capybaras and the giraffes. He liked the insect hut a lot as well. Tony seemed vastly uncomfortable with the bugs - Harley stored that information away for later. The lizard palace was also beyond excellent.
By the end of the day they were all tired from walking and couldn’t wait to go home and order food from Tony’s favorite burger place.
Their plans, however, went up in smoke when they reached the Tower to find Rhodes and Bruce waiting for them.
From there, Harley learned a lot more information in the next hour than he had in the whole school year.
First. A papparazzo had gotten a picture of Tony at the zoo. This was a normal occurrence - what made it an issue (™) was that Bucky was in the photo as well.
Second. The photo was everywhere . JARVIS had been helping Miss Potts with SI things when the photo was released. People were going crazy because Tony and Bucky were holding hands.
Third. They were worried that Steve had seen the photo.
Fourth. The reason Steve wasn’t at the Tower was because he was in Europe looking for Bucky.
Fifth. He was looking for Bucky because Bucky was actually James Buchanan Barnes, Steve’s childhood friend.
Sixth. Bucky had survived the fall from the train in 1945 because Hydra had found him and brainwashed him and forced him to kill people.
Seventh. He had been forced to kill Tony’s parents.
Eighth. Steve knew.
Ninth. Steve knew and withheld the information from Tony.
Tenth. Bucky wasn’t ready to see Steve again which was why Tony (with the help of JARVIS) had been leading Steve on a wild goose chase through Europe.
Eleventh. With the help of Bruce and a woman named Helen Cho, they had managed to take the trigger words out of Bucky’s head so he could never be forced to do anything against his will again.
Twelfth. Tony and Bucky had a crush on each other.
That last one wasn’t actually explicitly stated, but it explained why Bucky blushed over the nicknames, why they were holding hands… everything.
But any plotting or meddling to get them together would have to wait. If Steve came to the Tower, Harley needed to be able to make his stay as unpleasant as possible. He’d need to enlist JARVIS… and Bruce… and hopefully Rhodes to help if he stayed long enough.
Tony dragged his hands down his face.
“ I have scrubbed the last of the image from the internet ,” JARVIS announced.
That took one worry off his shoulder.
“If Steve-”
Tony’s phone started to ring. He glanced at it and winced, Steve was calling him. He accepted the call and held the phone up to his ear.
“What the hell Tony? How could you keep him from me? He’s my friend!” Steve exploded.
“So was I,”
Tony hung up and slid his phone back into his pocket.
“Bad news. Steve knows,” he said.
“ I can bar him from entering the Tower ,” JARVIS offered.
Tony smiled softly.
“ Or perhaps from entering the country ,”
“Sick,” Harley whispered.
Tony couldn’t help but laugh softly and shook his head. He looked at Bucky, his hair was still in a bun, secured by a horrifying scrunchie.
“What do you think, Elsa?” Tony asked.
Bucky pulled a face at the nickname.
“‘M not the one he betrayed,” he said.
“Thank you,” Rhodes said emphatically.
“It’s not like I haven’t betrayed him either!” Tony protested.
Rhodes scoffed, and even Bruce rolled his eyes. Why were his friends so difficult?
“If… Steve comes here… I have JARVIS to help me avoid him-”
“There’s space in the penthouse,” Tony offered.
Bucky smiled gratefully at the offer. Tony averted his gaze before he could do something stupid, like blush.
“An’ I don’ have the triggers anymore, I thin’ I c’n handle seein’ him,” Bucky added.
Tony nodded.
“Let him come, J,”
“ Very well ,” JARVIS agreed.
Bucky moved into the penthouse the next morning. Alpine, as usual, wasn’t phased by the change of location. Tony liked having the cat around. She was a fun addition. Along with Bucky and Alpine, Rhodes also moved in, which meant he was planning on sticking around for a few weeks.
He was going to find out about Tony’s crush on Bucky. It was inevitable.
Of course, Tony could try to forget the crush - and he had made a very valiant effort up until Bucky held his hand at the zoo.
Tony was a goner - totally done for. He wasn’t delusional enough to assume Bucky had any feelings for him. He must have been overwhelmed at the zoo and not realized that he had reached for Tony’s hand.
Yes. Obviously, that is what happened.
“ Captain Rogers and Mr. Wilson have landed at JFK ,” JARVIS announced.
Tony groaned. He caught sight of Alpine sunning herself and he wrangled his MIT hoodie so it was on backwards, the hood under his chin. He scooped up the snoozing white cat, earning a “mrrrp?” and tucked her into his hood.
“My cat now,” he grumbled as he took the elevator down to the communal floor.
Alpine just stared up at him and blinked slowly.
“Yes, I love you too,” he told her.
Bucky and Rhodey were already in the kitchen by the time Tony got there.
“Morning, Tones,” Rhodey greeted, pushing a cup of coffee toward him.
“Morning platypus, Robo-cop,”
Bucky smiled at the name.
“Your hoodie is on backwards- wait- is that my MIT hoodie?”
Tony took a sip of his coffee in response. Alpine lifted her little nose to sniff the bottom of the mug.
“Is my cat in your hood?” Bucky asked.
“My hoodie, and my cat,”
In his hood, Alpine started to purr.
Steve and his new friend, Sam, showed up at the Tower almost an hour after JARVIS announced they had landed in New York.
Tony (plus Alpine), Harley, Bucky, Bruce, and Rhodey were in the middle of breakfast - blueberry pancakes as requested by Harley himself.
Tony definitely wasn’t feeding tiny bits of pancake to Alpine.
“C’mon doll, she’s gonna get fat,”
“Absolutely not. She told me herself she’s too thin,” Tony responded.
“Oh you speak cat now?”
Bucky’s eyes were so big and blue and full of mirth.
“Tony, I swear to god if you don’t pass me the damn syrup-” Rhodes muttered, knocking Tony out of his reverie.
“I’m sorry, sour patch - you called?”
Before Rhodes could respond with something silly like “I’m not sour”, the ding of the elevator sounded from beyond the dining room. The noise sent Alpine flying from the hood and darting out of the room. Tony sighed heavily and managed to turn the hoodie back around without too much trouble.
Steve stepped into the room followed by a man who Tony assumed was Sam Wilson.
Tony had never heard silence quite so loud.
“Bucky,” Steve greeted, elation clear in his voice.
“Steve,” Bucky said with a nod.
Bucky didn’t make any kind of move to stand up and accept the hug that Steve so obviously wanted to give.
This is fucking weird , Tony thought.
“Sam, this is Dr. Bruce Banner, Colonel James Rhodes, Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark- and a kid,”
Tony didn’t have to look at Steve to know he had his Disapproving face on.
“Harley Keener,”
“I’m his son,” Harley said bluntly.
There was a gleam in his little gremlin eyes that made Tony worry.
“ Sir, Miss Potts would like to know why you’re late for the board meeting ,” JARVIS interrupted.
Tony almost choked. He wasn’t sure if it was JARVIS’s way of getting him out of the situation or if he really had forgotten about the board meeting, but either way, he wasn’t going to risk the possibility of facing Pepper’s wrath. He piled more pancakes on his plate and all but ran out of the room.
“Do you want to join us?” Bruce asked.
His tone was polite, but Harley noticed that his eyes were… cold. This was going to be fun.
Steve and Sam joined them at the table.
“So… you’re Tony’s kid… I didn’t know he had a son,” Steve commented.
Harley shrugged.
“Found out after the whole Mandarin thing. So… you’re like the leader of the Avengers?” Harley asked.
Steve glanced at him.
“Technically,”
“Do you think you’re good at your job?” Harley asked.
Steve paused for a moment.
“Yea?”
“Then how come you didn’t ask my dad if he was ok after the Mandarin hunted him down and blew up his house and was declared dead for 10 hours?” Harley asked.
Rhodes choked. Bruce took a sip of his tea to try and hide the smile on his face. Bucky snorted into his coffee.
“Well - we can’t just jump in-”
“Didn’t he offer to help you with the whole Hydra thing?” Harley interrupted, doing his best to sound innocently curious.
“Well-”
“I was with him that day, he didn’t seem very concerned that it wasn’t his fight. His teammates were in trouble. Why shouldn’t he offer his help?”
Steve was starting to look uncomfortable. Good. It meant Harley’s diabolical little plan was working.
“And he offered to look into that assassin for you, didn’t he? The one that framed you for murder? The… god what was his name?- the Winter Soldier?”
Harley watched in absolute delight as realization dawned on Steve’s face that every single person in that room knew who Bucky was, what he had been forced to do, and that Steve kept the truth from Tony.
The man next to Steve, Sam, looked deeply uncomfortable with what was happening. Harley almost felt bad about that.
“Anyway… it was awesome to meet you, Cap,” Harley said dryly.
Like his father before him, he piled pancakes onto his plate and stood up.
“J, what room is the board meeting in?”
“ C-2, ” JARVIS reported.
Harley grinned and walked out of the dining room.
“You should probably sit back down, Stevie,” he heard Bucky say.
Nice .
Tony and Harley returned to the communal floor after lunch, they had spent the past few hours antagonizing board members and having a great time doing it.
That night, Bruce decided he wanted to have a movie night up in the penthouse. He claimed it was because he was too tired to head down to the communal floor but Harley had a feeling that he simply didn’t want to be around Captain Rogers. Harley couldn’t fault him for that.
Harley plopped down on the sofa next to Bruce and looked around the room. Bucky was lounging across the loveseat, and Rhodes was sitting on the recliner, cleaning his glasses.
“What are we watching? where’s Tony?”
“He’s making popcorn,” Rhodes said, holding his glasses up to inspect them.
“And I decided on Zoolander,” Bruce said.
Harley scrunched up his nose.
“But why male models?” he asked.
He felt something hit the side of his head and he turned to see Tony with a bucket of popcorn.
“Child abuse!”
Tony rolled his eyes and sat down next to Bucky - who had just been lounging across the whole loveseat. Harley slowly looked around the room again. Rhodes was in the recliner, he and Bruce were sprawled across the sofa… and once Bucky had moved that left just one seat open for Tony.
Did he always do that?
“Hey, J?” Harley asked later that night.
He was all snuggled up in bed, full of popcorn.
“ Yes, young sir ?”
“Does Bucky always make sure Tony sits next to him during movie nights?”
“ He started shortly before summer ,” JARVIS reported.
Oh… Harley was so going to plot out how to get Tony and Bucky together. He was going to meddle. He was going to meddle so hard.
Harley finished his silly little presentation with a small smile on his face. All of the data (the three things he had observed since arriving at the Tower) he had collected was neatly (and ridiculously) laid out. He couldn’t wait to email it to Bruce.
“Actually… J, I wanna be dramatic. Call a meeting,” he said, a grin growing on his face.
“ Naturally, young sir ,” JARVIS said.
Harley spun around in his spinny chair as he waited for Rhodes and Bruce to arrive. It took about five minutes for them to show up, and to Harley’s intense surprise, Sam Wilson showed up with them.
Interesting development .
“I bet you’re all wondering why I called you here today,” Harley started.
“Very confused,” Sam agreed dryly.
“The issue on the table today is Tony and Bucky,” Harley continued, not bothering to address Sam’s confusion.
Next to Sam, Bruce attempted to cover the smile on his face with his hand. Rhodes just arched an eyebrow.
“The data suggest the two idiots like each other,” Harley said without preamble.
“I wasn’t aware Clucky had feelings,” Sam stated.
“Data suggests Clucky caught feelings first,” Harley replied.
“You have data?” Rhodes asked.
“What, you don’t?”
“I have Tony data,”
Harley’s eyes narrowed every so slightly. It made sense that Rhodes would have that kind of data on Tony. He wondered if any of it matched the data he had collected.
“Why are we having this meeting?”
“Sam, I’m aware you consider Bucky your nemesis-”
“He tore off one of my wings and threw me off a helicarrier,” Sam agreed.
“But did you die?” Harley countered.
“What-?!”
“Exactly. The point of this, comrades, is that I’m going back home in a few days, and considering that my father - Tony Stark - is the densest human being alive when it comes to emotions, I can assume that when I come back for spring break they will still be pining over each other and it’s fucking disgusting,”
“Language!” all three adults warned.
Harley rolled his eyes.
“So it’s up to you guys now. ‘Cause if I roll up next year, and nothing’s changed I’m locking them in an elevator,”
“ I would advise against that ,” JARVIS said tiredly.
Rhodes sat back in his chair.
“I would like to see the Bucky data,” he said.
“I’m so glad you said that - J?”
A PowerPoint presentation titled Coincidence? I think not! appeared next to Harley.
“Exhibit A,”
“Bucky has blushed every single time Tony calls him a stupid nickname,” Harley read from the PowerPoint, next to the fact, a pie chart emphasized his point with a legend that read red- he blushed, gold- he did not blush - the entire pie chart was red - because Harley was just as dramatic as, if not more than, Tony was.
“The evidence is irrefutable,”
Rhodes squinted at the PowerPoint, a tiny smile on his face.
“What else do you have?” he asked.
“You’re asking all the right questions, thank you - Exhibit B!”
The slide changed.
“They held hands at the zoo. The whole time ,”
Again, there was a solid red pie chart to show that Tony and Bucky had held hands at the zoo every single time they’ve gone.
“Haven’t you only been to the zoo once?”
“And they held hands the whole time,” Harley said like was obvious what it meant.
“Anything else, kid?”
“How is this not enough?”
Rhodes raised an eyebrow and Harley sighed.
“Fine,”
The slide changed once more.
“Every movie night, Bucky takes up as much room as possible on the loveseat so no one else will try to sit with him until Tony walks into the room and magically the only seat left is one next to Bucky,” Harley read.
There was yet another solid red pie chart indicating that Bucky did that every single movie night without fail.
“Yea that’s damning,” Rhodes agreed.
“I’m really enjoying the effort put into this,” Sam said as he gestured to the presentation.
“Graphic design is my passion,” Harley droned, electing to ignore the sarcasm in Sam’s voice.
“Clearly,”
A few days later, Harley went back to Tennessee, fully expecting Rhodey, Bruce, and Sam to help Tony and Bucky get their heads out of their asses.
Rhodey, naturally, forgot all about the promise he made to Harley once the kid left the Tower. He was a full bird Colonel. He didn’t have time to micromanage his best friend’s love life. Even if micromanaging Tony’s love life would be much more exciting and entertaining than anything the Air Force wanted him to do.
Bruce didn’t mean to forget, he just… got busy blowing things up with Tony - and of course, trying to help people and do work for any and every charity SI was funding.
Sam remembered the promise. However, he was still feeling petty that Bucky threw him off a helicarrier, so he simply didn’t do anything. He just let Bucky pine over Tony like he was a whole tree.
JARVIS did not forget about what Mr. Keener had brought up, however, he loved nothing more than a little bit of drama in the Tower, so he said nothing and continued to observe the way the Sir and Sergeant Barnes behaved around each other. He was quite eager for the young Mr. Keener to return to the Tower.
Rhodes was more than happy to stop by the tower for Harley’s spring break. He was in need of a break from work and spending a week with his best friend and his best friend’s son sounded perfect.
He just couldn’t shake the fact that he was forgetting something. And for the life of him he couldn’t even begin to fathom what it was he forgot.
When he reached the Tower, he headed right up to his rooms so he could put his things away before he went to bother Tony who was probably in his lab with Barnes.
Wait …
“So,” Harley said as he turned in the spinny chair that Rhodes had no memory of leaving in his rooms.
“When’d you get here?” Rhodes asks, grinning at the sight of the kid.
“Twenty minutes ago,”
“Does Tony know?”
“Are they dating?”
Oh fuck , Rhodes thought eloquently.
He had forgotten about the whole… ‘get Bucky and Tony together’ thing. If Harley found out, he was going to go full gremlin mode. Rhodes didn’t want to deal with a full gremlin Harley Keener for the entirety of spring break. He was just going to have to tell a small white lie and then go find Bucky and Tony and lock them in an elevator before Harley could congratulate them.
“Yes,” Rhodey lied like a liar who lies.
Harley beamed.
“Nice! I’m gonna go unpack now,” he said as he got off the spinny chair and left Rhodey’s quarters.
“Shit,” he said quietly.
“Hey, Tony?” Bucky asked, shooting for casual, and missing by a mile.
“Yea Robo-cop?”
“Why does Harley think we’re boyfriends?”
Tony made a frankly adorable squeaking noise and fumbled with whatever he was working on, sending a wrench and a few other tools clattering to the ground.
“Oh! He what - boyfriends ?” Tony asked, his voice pitched higher than normal on the last word.
“He said - and I’m quoting - ‘it’s about time you got your heads out of your asses and got together’,” Bucky explained, looking at Dum-E as he spoke so he didn’t have to look into Tony’s ridiculous Bambi eyes.
Tony blinked.
“We’re… we’re not boyfriends… I mean I didn’t miss that, did I?” Tony asked.
“No,”
“Oh,” Tony said with a slow nod.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Bucky saw Tony nod a few more times.
“So, um-”
“Should we?” Tony interrupted.
Bucky looked at the genius, his brow furrowed slightly.
“Should we what?”
“Be boyfriends,”
Before Bucky could respond to that, Rhodes burst into the lab looking almost afraid of something, which was a rare expression on his face.
“Tones, I need you to ask Bucky out!” he announced, all but sliding to a stop.
Tony gaped at Rhodey, his mouth working like he was trying to say something but nothing was coming out.
“Excuse me?” Tony demanded, his voice still pitched high.
“What is happening right now?” he asked almost immediately after, looking from Bucky to Rhodey.
“There’s nothing happening right now,” Rhodes responded.
“Lies. You are a lying liar who lies! Harley just congratulated Bucky because he’s under the impression that we’re dating, and now you’re trying to get us to date. So what’s going on sour patch?”
“I’m not sour!” Rhodey protested before he sighed heavily.
“Harley asked us to help you get your heads out of your asses and start dating before he came back for spring break, and I don’t want to deal with him going full gremlin mode, so I lied to him and told him you two were dating,” Rhodey said all in one breath.
“Us?”
“ Dr. Banner also forgot. Mr. Wilson did not, ” JARVIS said smugly.
“You could have reminded us, J!”
“ Could I have ? That didn’t occur to me, thank you for informing me ,” JARVIS said.
Rhodes threw his hands up in exasperation.
“Platypus… do you mind… maybe mind giving us some… time?” Tony asked.
Rhodes looked from Tony to Bucky and then back to Tony.
“Yea… I’ll just go… find Sam,” he said before all but running out of the lab.
Tony and Bucky both stood there for a moment, leaning back on the workbench, their hands braced on the edge, nearly brushing.
“So-“
“Did-?”
They both fell silent with a laugh.
“Everything… with my kid and honeypot aside… I… would you like to go out sometime?” Tony asked as he looked at Bucky.
He watched Bucky smile softly, his cheeks red.
“Yea,” Bucky said quietly.
“Yea, I’d like that,”
Tony grinned so wide his cheeks started to hurt.
“Hey, Tony?”
“Yea?”
“Your kid scared me,”