Work Text:
Y/n pov
It's been 2 years since Mum passed away. The overwhelming grief was no longer a daily thing, but I could still feel it underlying everything I did.
I'm an Avenger and a lot of my teammates had long since lost their parents so I don't always feel like I can share my grief and sadness.
In under a week we'll have another of her birthdays without her there so I lay at the end of my bed, curled up in the blanket she'd crocheted.
I swear that after 2 years and countless washes, it still smells like her. That was all I needed for the tidal wave of grief to wash over me. Before I knew it, I was ugly crying and I didn't care.
Nat pov
I was heading to my room when I heard Y/n crying in her room. I knocked on the door and softly asked "Y/n, is everything ok? Can I come in."
She made a noise that wasn't a word but I knew she was allowing me entry. I saw her curled up on her bed, looking so sad.
I sat on the end of her bed and grabbed her hand, just wanting to let her know someone cared and that I'd be there if she needed to talk.
I didn't want to presume it was about her Mum but I knew it had just gone 2 years and I wanted to make sure she was ok. Her sobs settled after about 30 minutes and she said "Thanks Nat, I appreciate you staying with me, but I'm ok now."
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked
"Just missing my mum a lot right now." She said "it's her birthday next week and it's always a hard time. I just don't want to be a burden on anyone."
"Oh Y/n, you know you're not a burden on any of us. We want to help you with your grief. We're all happy to listen or just sit with you, whatever you need."
"I appreciate that Nat, but I'm ok now."
I headed to my room and asked Friday to call all the team, except Y/n, to the meeting room in 10 mins.
"Of course Ms Romanoff"
Everyone gathered in the meeting room, of course Bucky noticed Y/n wasn't there.
"I can go get her" he said. Most of us knew he had a thing for her, but he was hesitant to do anything about it
"No," I stopped him "this is about her"
I explained what had happened and what she'd told me, we all agreed we should do more to support her and make sure she knew we all cared and were there to help.
Bucky pov
I couldn't believe I'd missed the signs of Y/n's sadness, I knew about her Mum and I'd forgotten it was her birthday coming up. Now I look back, I see she's been withdrawing from all of us, except during missions or dinners she's been forced to be at.
I decided to do a movie night with her, I went to her room to ask her
Y/n pov
After Nat left, I took a long, hot shower, they always make me feel better, they sooth my soul.
I hear Bucky knock on the door, I knew it was him before he even said anything, funny how sometimes you can tell who is there before you see them, just from small things.
"Hey Y/n, can I come in" I heard him say as he cracked the door open a sliver.
Nat knew I liked Bucky but I wasn't sure about mixing work with my personal life that much.
I motioned for Bucky to come in. "Hey Steve's cooking tonight so you know it's not gonna be great, how about Pizza and a movie night in my room?" He asked.
I laughed, it wasn't that Steve was a bad cook, he just had only 3 or 4 meals in his repertoire and pizza sounded great.
"Sure, sounds great."
"No problem darlin" Bucky said "I'll order the pizza and see you in about 45 mins in my room?
About an hour later, we were sitting on the couch in Bucky's room, pizza in front of us and remote in hand.
I'd chosen Dirty Dancing, it's one of my favourite movies and Patrick Swayze is super hot, so I thought maybe it'd give me the courage to shoot my shot with Bucky.
"Ready?" I asked him
"Before we start the movie Y/n, I just want to make sure you're ok?"
I dropped the remote and shook my head. "Seriously? I knew Romanoff wouldn't be able to keep things to herself. So this is a pity movie party? I think I can do without that Barnes. Enjoy your pizza." And with that I stormed out.
I threw on some workout clothes and headed out for a run to cool off.
Bucky pov
I knew I shouldn't have said anything and by the time I got to her room she was gone. I checked all the usual places including the roof where she sometimes went to stargaze.
I went back into the lounge and saw Nat "Did you see Y/n?" I asked.
"Yeah, she seemed pissed and left" Nat said.
"Well I just asked her if she was ok, she accused me of having a pity party and stormed out.You think she's gone on a run?"
"It looked like that, but at this time of night? Hopefully she hasn't gone outside the compound."
I headed out to run the perimeter, even though I wasn't dressed for running. About halfway, I found her sitting on a rock, sobbing. I cleared my throat so she wouldn't be too startled.
"Just leave me alone Barnes, I thought I made it clear I don't want your pity" she said and got up and started to run off.
One benefit of being a super soldier is my speed, I caught up to her quickly and took hold of her wrist, just enough to stop her.
"Y/n, just listen to me please. Yes, Nat told us how you were feeling , but only cause she was worried about you, and I kicked myself for not seeing it. You know you can always talk to me about anything."
I took my hand from hers and ran it through my hair. "There's no pity here Y/n. There's concern and friendship and.. and love.. I just wanted to make sure you were ok because.." I didn't know if I could say what I wanted to say.
Y/n pov
My heart leapt when he said love, but I got that it was just that they all love me cause I' part of the team. Still I had to ask.
"Because why Buck?
"Because I care about you." He said.
"thanks Buck, I know you all care, that's what friends are for, right?"
"Fuck Y/n, that's not what I meant" he said angrily
"I'm the one who's sad and has the right to be angry Buck. I'm the one everyone is talking about behind their back. No need to shout at me. Why don't you cool off and think about what you want to say so I don't misunderstand next time."
I walked back to the compound, with him following just steps behind me, thinking that maybe I just needed a break away.
Bucky pov
I walked in behind her, saw her glare at the team then go straight to her room. They all looked at me.
"What did you do Buck?" Steve asked me.
"Nothing. I was trying to take care of her, and I asked her how she was and she just blew up. She thinks I pity her. She's misunderstanding and twisting everything I say. I don't know what to do any more. Maybe I should just give up and leave her alone like she wants."
I stormed out, leaving the rest of the team in the kitchen. I stood outside her room, hearing her moving around, wanting to go in and talk to her but not sure if I should, or even what I'd say.
"Just tell her Buck, I guarantee she doesn't want you to leave her alone" Steve appeared beside me.
"But... I don't know what to say."
Y/n pov
I could hear them talking outside my door so I pulled it open and glared at the 2 of them.
Steve looked sufficiently guilty and said "Y/n, we all love and care of you, just listen to what Buck has to say" and he pushed Bucky into my room.
Bucky sat at the end of my bed and I stood in front of him, arms crossed. That's when he saw my suitcase.
"Where are you going?" He asked quietly.
"I haven't decided yet, bit I figured maybe it was a good idea to get away for a few days." I replied.
"Y/n, what I wanted to say before was.." He hesitated.
"Just say it Bucky, I promise it will be ok, no matter what it is."
"I care about you because I love you sugar. I have for a while now, I just didn't know how to tell you, or if you would even care." His head was hung low as if he'd just confessed to murder.
"Oh Buck, I love you too."
"You do?" He asked incredulously. The spark in his eyes at hearing me say it made my heart sing.
"Yes, I just wasn't sure about mixing work with personal, but hey, we all live together anyway so what's the harm in adding one more thing to the mix?"
He stood up, put his hands on either side of my face and lowered his lips to mine. The kiss was soft and gentle and romantic and all I could ask of for my first kiss with this mountain of a man.
"Now, can we unpack that suitcase, or should I pack mine?" He asked with a grin.