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As you awoke in the middle of the night, you saw Nyx sitting on the ground in front of his bed. The bed you were lying in. He was just dressed in boxer shorts and was watching you while the pale moonlight illuminated the lines of his muscles, his scars and his soft looking hair in a dim, mysteriously cold light.
You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes as you saw the undefinable expression on his face, "Nyx? Why are you sitting on the floor? Come back to bed.", you were confused why he had left your side in the first place.
Nyx shook his head, "I can't...well...rather, I shouldn't."
You heard the tone in his voice and within seconds, you were awake. You sat up, draping the blanket around your body, "What do you mean you shouldn't?"
Nyx avoided your eyes, he wasn't even able to look into your face, "We should talk. I think we might have a problem."
Utterly confused, you scooted to the edge of Nyx' bed to gain his attention but he was still not looking at you, "Problem? What problem? What happened while I was sleeping? Or...did I do something wrong?"
"No. No, it's not you. It's me.", Nyx admitted and looked finally into your eyes where he got greeted with confusion and insecurity. You stayed silent and Nyx knew he had to speak up now where he had started this conversation, "I know this, between us, was meant to be fun. Nonbinding. That we...that it should be something easy with no responsibilities. You made this point clear in the beginning. So, I... I think we have to stop this. We can't see each other like this anymore."
You saw the truth in Nyx' eyes. He was serious with what he said. You nodded slowly. Actually, you weren’t really surprised that Nyx wanted to get out of this arrangement. You got used to the fact that people you liked left you after a while, "I guess, you...you met someone else then? It's that the reason why you wanna quit this?"
Shocked, Nyx' eyes grew bigger as he noticed how his statement got understood by you, "No! I haven't seen anyone else. Never. I know it was okay for you but I didn't.", he said honestly and got on his knees to crawl over to you. He wasn't sure but did he see sadness in your eyes?
Softly, he cupped your face with his hands, tickling your neck in a caring way, "I'm sorry. I... Hell!", he sighed, annoyed, shaking his head about himself, "I'm not good at such things. Alright, I... YN, I'm ... falling for you.", he whispered while looking straight into your eyes, "First, I thought 'yeah, let us have some fun' but that easygoing vanished after a while and got replaced by deeper feelings. I know you wanted your independence and maybe I should have said something earlier but I guess, it was already too late. I... didn't want to leave or lose you."
"And why now? Why are we talking about this now?", you asked in a low voice.
"Because I stayed quiet far too long. I can handle stopping this with you... at least, I hope. You wanted something else and it wouldn't be fair to keep you tied to me when you don't want this. Or when you don't want me as I want you.", Nyx said with a stinging pain in his heart. He wanted to keep you by his side but he stuck to his word that it wouldn't be fair for you.
You stared at the man in front of you who was so honest and vulnerable in this moment. He was right. As you had come to Nyx and brought up the idea of 'friends with benefits', you thought about it as a great idea. You liked each other and Nyx was a hell of an attractive man. And somehow, you thought it was perfect for Nyx because he never seemed to be interested in someone in a romantic way.
So, now, you were on the one hand completely overwhelmed and you saw a chance for yourself to speak up, "Nyx, I...", you whispered, looking away to collect your thoughts. As you met Nyx' glance again, he waited patiently for what you wanted to say.
By the sight of his perfect blue eyes, a thick lump formed in your throat but now, there was no space for your typical fears so you swallowed, "Maybe I should also be honest with you. It might have started as something fun but it changed for me as well. You're so strong on the battlefield. You're such a badass. You're determined and straightforward which is so damn sexy. And then, there's your other side when you're with me. The side no one else except me knows, I guess. You're so caring and loving and at the same time sensual and so passionately. It's addicting.", you whispered.
Nyx chuckled softly, shaking his head before he looked back at you with a smirk, "Be careful, YN. Or otherwise, when you talk like this, I could think you're falling for me."
"Actually, this thought isn’t so wrong. I guess, we both tried pretending something to please each other which wasn't working anymore.", you said with a shy smile. So many nights you had spent with the hero. So many things you two had done to have fun and now, where it became serious, you felt insecure and shy.
Nyx noticed the change in you. He watched how you were gnawing on your lower lip and how your fingers played with his blanket because you feared what? His reaction? He already told you how he felt but maybe he needed a different language to show you what he meant, "I had no idea how incredibly cute you could be when you're shy like this.", he whispered, leaning you back on his bed to crawl on top of you. Gently, he brushed his nose along yours.
You snaked your arms around Nyx' neck, playing with the longer strands of his hair while enjoying the feeling of the warmth of his naked skin and his weight on you, "I'm not shy.", you said with a soft smile, "I'm insecure how this shall continue between us. I don't have much luck with relationships... Never had. If I do something wrong, I will lose you. And I don't want that."
Nyx leant down to kiss you longingly as if it was the first time. You were clinging to him with your arms and Nyx was already in love with the thought to have you close like this forever. After this talk, he felt much better and more relaxed. That you felt the same gave Nyx more courage. As he left your lips to look into your sparkling eyes, he smiled happily, "Don't worry. You're not alone with these fears. As long as we both want this, us, to work, I'm sure we will find a way. Together. We don't even have to name what we are. It's just important what we want.", he whispered against your lips before he leant down to kiss along your jaw and neck.
You became weak under his touch. You always melted when Nyx spoiled you like this but now, it was something else. More intimate. He wanted you on a whole new level. Nyx wanted you just for himself like you wanted him. You felt it through his lips, his hands and his moves along your skin. You gave in even if you were scared. But Nyx gave you the feeling that he really wanted to make it work. And so, you pushed all the fears, doubts and problems aside. You were just falling for the hero of the Kingsglaive.