Work Text:
Once in a couple of mounts, every bodyguard is allowed to take a several-day leave. Working for the main family doesn’t mean to be isolated from the outside world. Most of the stuff have families or close friends who only vaguely know what the job is about. If you keep yourself professional and your mouth shut, everyone will live happily ever after.
Today it is Big’s turn. And nothing can express how happy he is about it; how excited to finally see his mother and sister, to show them his newfound cooking skills, to walk together in a big park in the city centre and watch his sister laugh her head off when some old lady will pull him into a dance.
Big feels a smile forming on his lips. He has to bite it down until it transforms into a big stupid grin. There are many reasons for him to smile these days and even though he’s still learning to except this new, much more content reality, he has to admit, it is very easy thing to grow accustomed to.
Speaking of one the reasons.
“Packed already?” Chan asked, coming out of the shower after having completed his bathroom routine.
Big nods, looking at his small backpack. Honestly, he doesn’t take o lot as there is not much in his possession. Not that his job restricts him from buying and keeping things, he just doesn’t want to and, probably, doesn’t need to. He likes wearing the same suit every week, likes using his phone only every once in a while. Maybe Big thinks this way because this is the only life he’s ever known. Maybe. He doesn’t complain, he’s more than happy. Especially now.
Chan comes up to him, a towel wrapped around his hips. Big uses all his willpower to look at the older man’s eyes, not down there, because there is no time for it. They can catch up later.
Chan touches a string of hair hanging loosely against Big’s face and brushes it away. No ponytail outside work is the only rule Big will happily follow within the next few days.
“All good?”
“Yeah.”
“Passport, money?”
“All taken.”
“There are some nausea pills in the back pocket in case you …”
“And I also won’t talk to any strangers in the bus, I promise, dad.” With slight irritation in his voice, Big makes a clear emphasis on the last word.
Chan narrows his eyes and tilts his head, although still smiling.
“Told you not to call me that.”
“I’m sorry, would you like another way of putting that? Like father or maybe dadd…?”
“DON’T!” Chan eyes widen and his eyebrows go up so high almost reaching the top of his forehead.
“Okay,” Big giggles, visibly pleased with himself. “Relax. I hate this too, you know that.”
Now Chan starts laughing. It is so easy this way, just to be able to smile. To look at the person in front of you without searching for tricks behind their eyes. To strip out of your usual suit, literary and figuratively, and feeling comfortable doing this under other’s careful gaze. Chan feels as if he has spent most of his life in a dim old building with the windows covered with heavy wooden shutters until someone knocked them out, exposing long-forgotten sunlight.
There are so many things that he wants to tell Big, to make the other know him a little more, to understand a little deeper. But it all should come gradually. For now, he only must embrace himself to a couple of night of solitude and, unfortunately, unlock an unpleasant memory of sleeping alone in a big and empty bed.
Chan watched Big put on his backpack, feels himself being pulled in a tight hug followed by a long goodbye kiss, that they both are definitely smiling against. Big pulls away and heads towards the door, promising to call or text when he arrives.
After the door closes, Chan finds himself reluctant to go on with his day.
*
Big comes back 4 days later, which leads them to stay up until 5 in the morning, kissing and touching. In between, Big talks about his time away. It is simply fascinating how much can happen in such a short period of time and how many emotions and feeling are now forever engraved in his heart. Chan doesn’t interrupt, he just lays there, looking at the man he loves smiling and gesturing while the other is reminiscing about the last couple of days, telling one story after the other, completely lost in the memories.
One may argue that it is not correct to use the word “memories”. It has just happened after all, you simply haven’t had enough time to reflect or realise the significance of those moments. That person can go and fuck themselves. There are things in live that don’t need to take the test of time to show their real value. They are important here and now and your heart starts aching immediately after you no longer get to feel their presence. Chan is still looking at Big while thinking about this.
“Chan.” A soft voice brings him back to reality.
“Mmm”
“How come you never take days off? I don’t remember seeing you leave the compound. Don’t you have anyone to visit?”
Chan is still simply looking. Wanted to tell him more about yourself, huh?
“I do have people to visit, but they don’t live far away. There is no need to additional take time off.”
“Your parents?”
“Yes. And my uncle, mother’s brother. He got a little unlucky after divorce, so she let him stay with them.”
“Ex-wife’s a bitch?”
“Maybe. He’s not the most reliable person as well.”
Several seconds of silence followed. Outside, the first strings of light were already visible and a quickly growing roar of can engines shuttered the peace and quiet of the night.
“I’d like to meet them.” Big says matter of factly. His attention, however, is now focused on his nails.
Chan coughs, prompting the younger to look up. The older simply smiles and nods.
*
As the end of the week has approached, Chan comes up to Big.
“We’re going today.” There no what ifs or maybes in his tone, so Big doesn’t even consider making an objection.
“Are you sure? It’s already 3 p.m., maybe it is better to go tomorrow in the morning.” He tries not to show that Chan’s sudden persistence doesn’t bother him. It does, however. Big knows that work-related arguments are not going to be very convincing, given Chan’s position, so he tries to imply logistical issues and “let older people rest in the evening.” As expected, he fails miserably.
“Told you, it is near. If you are concerned about time, you might want to hurry up to get changed.”
It only now comes to Big’s attention that has put on some casual clothes. It is still black, though.
*
The car ride is ridiculously short, ten minutes at most, and during all this time Big felt strangely nervous. It must be a normal thing to experience before meeting the close ones of the person you love, but it wasn’t the butterflies-in-the-stomach type but rather a 9-scale-earthquake-possibility alert.
When they pull up, Big freezes. They are near a huge area surrounded by a tall steel fence and there is no house in sight…yet? Big doesn’t want to offend anyone, but there is a very low possibility of Chan to come from a wealthy background nor does he earn that much to be able to afford and maintain a place as big as this. A nursing home then?
Chan gets out of the car and leaves, without waiting for Big. The whole situation becomes more and more concerning.
Big follows short, showing his best attempts to keep up with the other man who is now walking so fast as if he’s trying to make up for the cardio training they are currently skipping.
Only a couple of brief moments pass for Big to actually realise what his gut was telling him back at the car and why Chan refuses to walk near him right now. It happens when he sees lots of even and neat stones, carefully but firmly put in the ground. A cemetery.
At once, there are millions of thoughts in Big’s head, trying to convince him to deny the reality.
Maybe some of his family members work there?
Maybe they are all paying their respect to someone else and Chan just agreed to pick them up?
Maybe the roads are shitty here, so it’s better, faster and more convenient to walk through the cemetery to get to Chan’s parents’ house?
No matter how many maybes, believable or not, Big is trying to make up, the truth still screams louder and punches harder. He fucking hates himself for ever initiating that conversation.
Nevertheless, what’s done is done. As Big realizes that now he can see only a blurry outline of a familiar figure somewhere in front of him, he starts running and simultaneously apologizing for the local residents for causing disturbance. They can surely understand.
He finds Chan standing in front of two similar gravestones with woman’s and man’s names. Big is sure that a third person has also been mentioned, but now is not a good time for that question.
“This is my family,” he says. “I think that there are happy to meet you.”
Big wants to hug Chan. Or at least hold his hand. Or provide any kind of physical comfort. But he’s scared. Not now. He decides just stand here, they are shoulders almost touching. Hopefully, that’s enough.
“Your mom and dad?” Big gains some courage to ask.
“Uncle.” Chan corrects.
“And…” Big swallows, “and where is your dad?”
“I wish I knew.” A chuckle Chan lets out is a dry and there some tiny hysterical notes in his voice.
Big moves closer, bumping his shoulders and elbows into Chan’s. It’s a shame that he cannot feel the other’s heartbeat from here.
“I’m sorry.”
Another chuckle.
“Nothing to be sorry for. I’m kind of a big boy now, I can handle never knowing papa. Besides, he was clearly an asshole.”
Chan takes a deep breath and continues.
“Honestly, there is no tragedy in this,” he says, gestured at the gravestones. “My mother died due to an illness she was too proud or too stupid to tell anyone about until it was too late and my uncle just … drank his life away. I was serious about the divorce, it fucked him up.”
Big reached to Chan’s hand, that until now was comfortably positioned in the pocket of the older man’s pants, takes it out and squeezes it hard, intervening their fingers. He proceeds to lay his head on Chan’s shoulder, feeling the other man relax.
“I want you to tell me everything, every little detail of your life.”
“We have all the time in the word for this.”
Big’s grip only tightens.
*
“All packed?”
It is time for Big’s leave again. Chan looks briefly at their bed and feels the sheets getting colder already.
“Yes, sir.”
“Sure?”
“Let me think,” Big pauses. “No, seems like I have forgotten something.”
He turns to Chan and lets out a proud you!, unable not to grin at how cheesy he is now being.
Seeing confusion on the other man’s face, he explains.
“You’re coming with me this time. I’ve meet your family, now it’s your turn to meet mine. They’ll be happy to finally see you.”
Before Chan asks him a million questions, Big decides to clear up one thing that bothers the other the most.
“I've discussed it with Khun Korn. He's allowed us both to leave. Plus, if you are afraid that you’ll have to make up for the missing days, then don’t. You haven’t taken a leave for so long that it’s enough for you to take a paid vacation for 2 month. This situation is not up for a discussion. You have 10 minutes to get ready. Now!”
It is one of the rare occasions when Chan really enjoys being told what to do.