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She wasn’t due for another 2 and half weeks, and even after the immense research and preparation, they felt completely out of bounds.
For nearly 5 months, the both of them had read What to expect when you’re expecting front to back twice, watched every birthing video they came across, and called Hope with every question and query they had and still, it didn’t feel like enough.
Everyone they knew told them that even with the amount of work they were doing, they’d never feel fully prepared and that it was okay. The fact that they were even putting in this much effort was plenty of evidence that they’d be great parents.
But that didn’t stop them from having a near panic attack at 4am when the hospital called. She wasn’t too early, but still, they thought they had at least another week.
The midwife, when trying to calm the two restless men down, explained that she was just excited to meet her dads. And she was.
Born 6 lbs and 7 oz, at 1:42, on the 21st January, Remus and Sirius’ daughter came into the world with a hearty set of lungs on her, some that would put Sirius’ to shame. They were both a crying mess but none of that mattered once the midwife placed her in Remus’ arms. Sirius recalled this moment as the moment his life actually began; the moment he realised how complete he felt whilst looking at his daughter in his husband’s arms.
10 fingers, small enough that they barely wrap around his index finger and 10 toes, so tiny that Sirius had to count them twice just to make sure there was the right amount. She had brown wispy hair, and the biggest brown eyes Sirius had ever seen on a baby. And sure, she still looked a bit like an alien, but she was perfect.
After 12 hours of checks, Sirius and Remus walked out with their daughter in a car seat.
They buckled her in, making sure she’s protected from the unforgiving wind and overcast and then, they take a moment to just stare at her, this perfect creation that they get to call their own.
“I love her so much.” Sirius whispers, leaning into Remus.
“Me too.” Remus’ voice is hoarse, which is expected since he keeps crying. He looks down at his husband and shares a sweet kiss before closing the door gently.
It’s raining when they park outside their house, so Remus pulls the car seat cover down, shielding her from the weather from his seat next to her. Sirius gently pulls the seat from the car, Remus following in suit as they walk to their front door.
She’s still asleep when they get inside so they take a minute to sort themselves out. Sirius can't help but notice the half-finished cup of tea left on their coffee table. He didn’t know that he’d be bringing his daughter home when he was making the tea. It’s still strange to say his daughter, their daughter.
Remus begins to pull the Moses basket out from under the stairs and places it next to the coffee table, so Sirius takes it upon himself to slowly unbuckle her and pick her up out of the seat.
Her body stretches and scrunches in the adorable way babies do, and Sirius can’t help but coo in awe. He’s pretty amazed any time she does anything, but no one’s going to blame him, least of all Remus.
He nestles her against his chest and peppers a few kisses on her head which was covered in a light yellow hat. It was Remus’, part of the outfit he wore when he came home from the hospital and Hope was more than happy to pass it on to her granddaughter.
“Okay bug, this is your house.” He says gently, unaware of the slight sway in his movements. For the 12 hours that she’s been alive, she seems like a pretty easy baby. Granted, she’s been asleep for most of her life, but Sirius is still positive.
“Do you want a tour?” He angles his body hoping she’s able to see more. Her eyes are half open so Sirius can’t confidently determine if she’s awake or not, but that isn’t going to stop him.
“Does she need a tour?” Remus asks with a smile on his face.
“This is her first time in the house. How will she know where to find the mugs if we don’t properly introduce her?” He replies, covering her head protectively with a frown on his face.
“My mistake. Carry on.” Remus apologises, gesturing him to continue whilst he unconvincingly hides the smile on his face. Sirius turns towards the door as Remus walks over to their record player. It was mere seconds before Sirius hears the low and melodic voice of Bob Dylan’s Blood on the Tracks.
“Okay, this is the corridor- Oh wait, first, this is the front door. It’s wooden and a deep green colour. You can't see colours yet, can you? Anyway, I really liked the stain glass bit, it’s half the reason we brought the house.” He whispers, turning his body to the side so she can get a good look.
“It’s not and you know it,” Remus calls out from the front room and Sirius can already hear the smile in his voice. Footsteps get closer until there’s a small kiss being pressed to his head. “Can I shower quickly; I want to wash the hospital off me.”
“Yeah, of course, I’ll go in after you.” Sirius nods and returns his attention back to the tour.
He walks her down the corridor, stopping at the cupboard where they put their coats and shoes. Then into the living room, where he spends a good few minutes filing through their record collection as well as showing her their bookshelf. He tells her that she will have to ask before taking one since some of them aren’t so child friendly.
Once he feels comfortable that she’s well acquainted with the living room, he moves onto the kitchen/dining room, opening every single cupboard for her to see. He points to the fridge magnets, giving a short rundown of where each is from as well as demonstrating how the kitchen tap works.
“I know you’re still small, but I have a feeling you’re going to be super smart like your dads, so I’m telling you now, on the off chance that you need to use it any time soon.” He tells her after demonstrating how the washing machine and dryer work in their utility room.
He stands against the garden door, watching raindrops catch each other as they drip down the glass. Their garden is pretty plain, except for the two flower boxes Remus tends to, but again, it’s the winter so it’s just two boxes of dirt.
“We’re going to get you one of those playhouses and a swing set and maybe a baby trampoline. We just have to wait until you are a bit bigger.” Sirius says as he walks back, past the dining table and towards the corridor. He stops suddenly and ducks his head so that only she can hear. “Just don’t get big too quickly, okay?”
She makes the smallest noise as she breathes in, and Sirius takes it as a yes. He slowly walks up the stairs and to the end of the corridor where their bedroom is Remus walks in from their en-suite with a towel around his waist at the same time Sirius walks in.
“Can I have her now, I want to do skin-to-skin?” Remus asks, pulling the towel away and substituting it with new pyjama bottoms.
Sirius nods giving her a few more kisses before handing her over. He turns to walk towards their bathroom before remembering, “Make sure you give her the tour upstairs, okay?”
“I promise she will have it memorised by the time you come out of the shower.” Remus smiles from his position, bent over the bed as he carefully removes her babygrow and vest. He picks her back up and holds her against his chest just as Sirius had before.
The sound of water echoes around the room as Remus continues the tour, showing her the little things in their bedroom that were special to them. More books and candles and picture frames. He stands in front of their wedding picture a little longer than he needs to, but he takes the time to give her a quick rundown of their wedding, promising to tell her more as she gets older.
He walks back towards the stairs, peeking into the main bathroom, that she’ll use to brush her teeth in soon enough and the study which they both use. “We’ll get you a small table in here for you to do your own work, okay? You can colour whilst we do our work.” He lets her peek into the guest room but it's just a bed and a chair, uneventful compared to the rest of the house.
Then he walks back to the room just before their own, her room. It’s painted a soft and warm light yellow, with small animals dotted around the wall behind her cot. There’s a rocking chair in the corner as well as her changing table, a cupboard and a set of drawers, already full of clothes and supplies. Remus silently thanked Sirius for making sure they had everything weeks in advance.
“Your Papa spent a long time painting those animals, so you have no choice but to become a vet.” Remus rubs his hand up and down her soft back gently before correcting himself. “That was a joke, a bad joke now that I think about it. You can be whoever you want when you’re older. Anyway, this is yours, and you can change it any way you like when you get a bit older.” He whispers before walking back into their room.
A little while later, when Sirius is laying down with his daughter on his chest, Remus next to him, leaning over slightly, he has a slight epiphany. “Shit Rem.”
“What?”
“We’re dads,” Sirius says, with no hint of sarcasm in his voice and Remus just chuckles to himself, going back to stroking the hair on her head. “I’m serious, we are full-blown parents.” He states in a bit of a panic.
“We’ll be okay. I mean, the tour got good reviews, I’m sure dinner and breakfast tomorrow will as well.”
“Should we be more freaked out? I’m not that freaked out.”
Remus takes a moment to reply, “No. I think we’ll be fine, and even if we aren’t, it’s okay. I think she likes us.”
Sirius’ entire body warms up at his husband’s affirmations and leans up to give him a chaste kiss. “I love her so much. Honestly, I don’t think I even love you this much.”
Remus laughs loudly, pressing another kiss to Sirius’ cheek before resting his head against his shoulder. “Me too.”
“I just realised, we probably shouldn’t swear in front of her.”
“I reckon we’ve got a good few months before she starts picking up on words. But being your daughter, I won’t be surprised if her first word is fuck.” Remus says.
“Hey!” Sirius scoffs, “You swear way more than I do.”
“Darling, you swear like a sailor.” Remus smiles up at him. “It’s okay though, I don’t mind what her first word is, you know, as long as she starts talking, I’m not fussed.”
They don’t do much for the rest of the afternoon until it hits 6 and they realise they haven’t eaten since a quick breakfast at the hospital. They head downstairs and Remus orders food whilst Sirius changes the record.
It’s June in January, because I’m in love
The sound of Julie London’s voice fills the warm living room and Sirius picks up his daughter, and slowly sways her back and forth, singing the lyrics quietly into her head.
Remus finds them like that and can’t help but tear up. This is all he ever wanted. His little family.
They decided, well forgot, to tell any of their friends and family initially at the hospital, and when they got home they realised they wanted this day to be perfect. Just the 3 of them, their little family. They’ll ring everyone up in the morning; they’ll understand.
It’s 8 in the evening and there’s a half-eaten pizza box on the coffee table as well as two cups of tea they’ve already forgotten about. Remus is slouching against the sofa, Sirius sat with his legs crossed next to them because their daughter is fully awake now. She’s a bit of a night owl, they’ve realised.
Her big brown eyes reflect the soft yellow light of the lamps they’ve turned on. She’s making facial expressions and her dads are having the time of their lives. Every time she takes a big yawn, hiccups or crosses her eyes, they act as if she’s the first baby on earth to do so. It’s okay though, they’re new parents.
They’ve fed her and changed her into her pyjamas, which is just another babygrow – this one has little puppies scattered on it.
Sirius is in the middle of taking hundreds of pictures of them all when they hear their front door open. He looks down at Remus and they both come to the realisation together, a big factor they forgot to take into account.
Regulus.
Now, Reg has lived with Sirius, for most of his life. He’s also great friends with Remus, which is why it made sense for him to move to the top floor into the loft room.
This doesn’t mean Reg can’t afford his own place, he can. Sirius is pretty sure he makes about the same he does, but neither him or Remus know what Regulus actually does, something in a big office building, consultancy maybe? He disappears for a week every now and then and says he’s at ‘work’. The two of them have stopped questioning him.
Reg would never admit it, but Sirius knows he hates living by himself, he tried it for 2 months before asking to move in. He’s clean and keeps to himself and the loft is soundproof anyway, which is great for both sides.
But the issue is, they completely forgot to tell Reg, despite this being his permanent address. Remus and Sirius did ask if he wanted to move out, being as there would be a crying baby living here soon, but he just brushed it off saying he’d decide when they get there.
Well, now they are here. And Sirius forgot to tell him. There’s no time like the present, he thinks.
Sirius turns to face the living room door behind them and sits up gently waiting for his brother to walk in.
“Hey, you guys left pretty early this morn-“ Regulus stops abruptly when he walks past the threshold, his eyes glued to the Moses basket on Sirius’ right. It takes him a second to register it and then his eyes flit from Sirius to Remus, who’s now looking to the side, trying his best to see and back to the basket.
“Hey, Reg? Do you want to meet your niece?” Sirius asks gently, unable to stop the massive grin taking over his face.
Regulus’ face softens slightly; it’s still in shock but there’s a willingness, Sirius can already see it. “She’s here?”
“Mm-hm.” Sirius hums, nodding his head as takes her off Remus’s chest and holds her up slightly before cradling her comfortably.
The second Regulus sees her, the actual baby, his jaw drops open. There’s a small smile hidden on his face somewhere, but his eyes are still bulging.
“Oh.” He breathes out, dropping his bag and coat onto the console table next to him. He walks up to the back to the back of the sofa, staring at the tiny human wrapped in his brother’s arms. He barely registers Remus, his eyes glued to big brown eyes.
“I’m going to wash my hands, and then can I hold her?” He asks, already rushing towards the kitchen. He doesn’t wait for an answer, but it’s not like Sirius or Remus is going to stop him. When he comes back he sits in front of them on the coffee table and holds his arms out so Sirius can place her in them.
It takes him a few seconds to get comfortable and she stretches at the change in position which makes Reg tense up slightly, but then it’s perfect. Sirius blinks back a few tears as he watches his brother handle his daughter with so much care.
“When?” That’s all Reg can seem to ask as he looks down between her and her dads.
“We got the call late last night that she was on the way, and she was born at quarter to 2 in the morning. We’ve been a bit occupied since otherwise we would have called you.”
“No, this was better. The surprise was way better.” He finally smiles, all teeth and cheeks and eyes – he was smiling with his whole body which made Sirius erupt in happiness. He interlocks his fingers with Remus’ and squeezes tight.
“What’s her name?” Reg asks as she wraps her whole hand around the ring on his thumb.
“Oh.” Sirius smiles realising he hasn’t introduced her properly, “Uncle Reggie, meet June Seren Lupin.”
Reg’s face splits into a smile and he holds his index finger against her hand, watching in pure delight as she wraps her tiny hand around his finger. “Hi June,” He whispers before looking up. “I love it.”
"We were in town a few weeks ago and found this old record at an antique shop; it's Julie London's June in Janurary. And look, we’ve got June in January.” Remus says, grinning widely as he looks down at his daughter.
"Seren means star in Welsh. And her last name is Lupin because I’m kind of in love with him, or whatever.” Sirius shrugs waiting for a reaction out of Regulus. His expression hasn’t changed, still unreadable and it’s beginning to make Sirius conscious.
“I wanted to name her after all the people I loved most in the world. And there was also no way in hell I was cursing her with Black as a surname. But she needed something connecting to the stars, so Seren was the obvious choice.”
“Junebug,” Sirius leans forward, eyes wide to mirror hers. “Say hi to your uncle. Say hi, uncle Reggie.”
June hiccups and the soft sound of Dean Martian playing from the corner are the only sounds in the room for a while, whilst they wait for Regulus to say something.
“Can you guys go? I want to cry.” Reg declares stoically after a minute.
“Yeah, sure Reg. We’ll be in the kitchen.” He says, swallowing the lump in his throat as he and Remus make their way to the kitchen. They close the sliding doors, leaving about 3 inches just so they can still see the two of them.
Remus goes to make himself another cup of tea, but Sirius is fixated on his brother. He can nearly make out the quiet sniffles coming from the living room and it’s only when the kettle calms down that he hears what his brother is whispering to his daughter.
“I’ll kill anyone that comes near you, okay? I know people, people that will do anything for me and that means you now. If you need anything, you come to me first, okay?” Regulus says, stroking the fingers wrapped around his thumb. She makes this adorable baby sound and Sirius’ heart aches so much in such a good way, he forgets to reprimand his little brother.
“I think I love you more than I love anyone else. Isn’t that weird? I’ve only known you for about 7 minutes. But I do. I love you more than anyone. Even your dads.” Reg strokes June's hair lightly and Sirius feels he’s eavesdropped enough.
He walks back to where Remus is leaning against the counter, watching him with a smile. “You okay?” He asks, placing his mug down.
Sirius leans into his husband’s embrace wrapping his arms around his waist. A lazy grin appears on his face before he answers, “Happiest I’ve ever been.”
This seems to be the right thing to say as Remus immediately mirrors his smile and leans down to kiss him all over his face until he's giggling.