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Natasha and Clint were rolling around in the sparring ring trying to one up each other. The occasionally grunt could be heard as the two kept switching positions trying to avoid being pinned to the ground. Normally Natasha would have already knocked out Clint but he insisted that she needed to work on her ground work, no kicking or punching, just plain old wrestling. Natasha was currently in a pretty strong chock hold from Clint. Within the first minute of fighting this way Natasha realized that Clint had suggested this type of fighting because he knew this was the only way he would ever beat her.
Natasha fought the chokehold for a couple minutes, grabbing and pulling at anything to escape it. After a few more seconds of fighting Natasha finally relaxed and tapped Clint’s arm indicating she was done.
Natasha rolled her eyes at the ‘whoop’ Clint exclaimed at the feeling of her tapping out.
Natasha rolled her eyes and got up.
“Don’t let that go to your head Clint,” said Natasha walking out of the ring grabbing towel to wipe the sweat of her face and the back of her neck. “Give me a week on getting the groundwork down for wrestling and you might not like the outcome.”
Natasha smirked as she saw Clint’s smile form into a frown at her words. Clint and she have been working together for years and she knew he knew how much truth was behind her statement.
Clint nodded and got to his feet.
“Still got you to tap out,” replied Clint cockily before following Natasha’s lead and getting out of the ring. “Laura won’t believe me when I tell her.”
Natasha rolled her eyes and handed him water.
“She won’t believe you,” scoffed Natasha motioning to the empty gym, “I will deny it and you have no witnesses,” Natasha reached into her bag and grabbed her phone and began to furiously type away on it. “And would you look at that,” said Natasha clearly impressed with herself, “someone deleted the last 45 minutes of the security footage for the gym.”
“Tasha…” whined Barton grabbing her phone and watching the footage of Natasha and him walking into the gym and then the screen instantly jumped to the live footage now.
Clint was still staring at the live feed when he saw a figure standing in the door way.
Looking up he saw Phil Coulson standing in the door way looking grim.
Natasha followed Clint’s eyes as her eyes made contact with Phil’s. Natasha’s heart clenched at the look in Phil’s eyes. Something was wrong.
“Natasha with me,” said Coulson before he turned and walked out of the room knowing Natasha would follow.
Natasha and Clint exchanged questioningly looks before she gave him a nod letting him know she would tell him later before following Coulson out the door.
Natasha caught up with Phil easily enough as she followed him around the helicarrier. Coulson led her down a hallway that Natasha was unfamiliar with and that was saying something because Natasha would like to believe that she knew this place pretty well. They stopped outside a locked door as Coulson entered a few codes and completed a retinal scan.
The door opened as they stepped into a large sterile medical room. The room itself was glaringly white and smelled of cleaning solution. Natasha stopped the uneasy feeling rise in her stomach at the thought of being in this room. Natasha hated medical. The memories of the Red Room injecting and cutting her open came to the forefront of her mind.
“Natasha,” a voice she knew all too well pulling her from her haunted memories.
Standing in front of a door was Nick Fury his back leaning against the door.
Natasha feet faltered only slightly at the grim look on Nick Fury’s face.
Fury noticed her faltered steps as he quickly morphed his face back into that famous emotionless mask. Fury gave Coulson nod most likely signaling to him to leave.
Natasha watched as Coulson, for the first time in the years of working with him, seem to consider not listening to Fury. But Natasha saw the look Fury was throwing at him after seeing Coulson’s hesitation. Coulson nodded back to Fury gave Natasha a look that she couldn’t quite describe before walking out the door. The silence in the room is defining before Natasha finally couldn’t take it.
“What the fuck is going on?” gritted out Natasha the secrecy of the situation and the medical room grating her nerves.
Fury stepped back a little from Natasha her words forcing an involuntary tense though his body at the sound of her hostility. He wasn’t stupid. He would like to think Natasha wouldn’t kill him but what he was about to tell her had him questioning that thought.
“Natasha,” said Fury softly his voice calm and collected but Natasha could sense that he was forcing his voice this way. She could feel the edge in it.
“Nick, what happened?” interrupted Natasha sensing that her boss was clearly upset. “Is it Loki? Is he back?”
Fury shook his head looking around the room as if he was trying to find the right words. Sighing he brought his hand to rub the back of his neck in frustration before turning his eye towards Natasha.
“Commander Hill…” started Fury.
And like a punch to a grunt Natasha was at a loss of breath. Dread and panic was overwhelming her senses.
“She was running some intel for me,” said Fury his voice steady but there was a slight shake to it, “she was ambushed…”
Natasha felt as if her heart was about to beat out of her chest. Why was she here? Why wasn’t she in medical checking on Maria? Why did Fury bring her here? Natasha’s legs were shaking and tears were starting to gather in her eyes.
“Her coms got taken out…”
“The flight system in her vehicle was disabled…”
“Somehow they landed an explosive…”
“She escaped to Roger’s apartment…”
Hope filled Natash’as heart at the last comment but as she it was fleeting as she saw the look in Fury’s eyes.
“Where is Maria?” seethed Natasha. “Tell me right now Fury or so help me I will rip this hellicarrier apart piece by piece until I find her.”
Fury continued despite her threat but knew he was treading dangerous territory, “She was trying to pass on the intel I had her gathering,” said Fury stepping closer to Natasha. “Rogers said there was sniper…
Natasha stiffened her eyes going wide.
“She took three to the chest,” said Fury.
Realization crossed Natasha's face and her knees instantly gave out from under her. Luckily Fury fast reflexes caught her before she hit the ground. Fury set her gently to the floor.
"No, no, no" mumbled Natasha over and over again as her hands fisted in her hair, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably in suppressed anguish.
“We had her in a transport to a medical facility within 5 minutes,” whispered Fury kneeling down besides Natasha knowing better then to touch her right now. “They operated on her for 25 minutes but the damage…”
He stopped as the haunting sound of Natasha Romonaff’s screams of anguish echoed throughout the medical room. Fury had no doubt he would have nightmares about that scream for the rest of his life. As he watched Natasha scream into her hands as she shook her head her head back and forth.
Fury didn’t speak anymore. He just kneeled there in front of Natasha watching and ready to step in if she started to hurt herself.
Minutes passed by as the anguished screams and cries continue to echo throughout the room and then…silence.
Fury watched as Natasha picked her head up from her knees. Her green eyes haunting, Fury had to stop himself form visibly flinching. He has not seen Natasha’s eyes like that since they first recruited her from the KGB.
"Where is she" said Natasha in a deadly tone.
Fury stared at his best agent for few seconds before motioning to the door behind him, "She is in there…" said Fury and before he could finish Natasha was on her feet and walking towards the door.
Fury followed her but stopped in the door way.
Natasha's eyes instantly found a lying on a table in under a shit sheet, the head and feet and arms were the only thing visible. She could tell it was a woman by the long hair flowing from the head. Her hair was black, falling in long waves. Maria almost always had her hair in a bun, this can’t be her, but god that hair…it looked so much like hers.
Maria would tell her not to jump to conclusions…not to assume. I mean black hair was normal hair color.
Anyone could have black hair like that.
This woman could be anyone, a nobody, somebody she never met before in her life.
Taking another step she noticed a scar on the woman's right ankle, again her heart plummeted to her stomach. But once again her mind did want to believe the evidence in front of her. Maria would argue that thousands of people could have the same scar.
Maria got hers from hitting her ankle on the edge of bed when Natasha snuck up on her while she was doing laundry. It was a simple injury, just a scratch and anyone in the world could get the scratch like that. A clumsy person could easily have a scar like that; hell Natasha, who never had a clumsy moment in her life could have done something stupid and get a scar like that.
Anyone could have that scar like that.
This woman could be anyone, a nobody, somebody she never met before in her life.
She took one step forward praying to god that it was not her Maria but then suddenly something caught her eye on the hand of the body. A small gold band seemed go to glow against the pale white finger of this woman.
She froze as her mind fought against this discovery.
NO! Her mind screamed. This woman could be anyone' fiancé, it is not hers! That could be anyone's engagement ring.
They had to have made hundreds of thousands of those rings in New York alone!
Anyone could have an engagement ring like that.
This woman could be anyone, a nobody, somebody she never met before in her life.
Taking another step forward not ready to see her face her eyes traveled up to the woman's collar bone, a pale birth mark on her right shoulder almost ended her right there. Her heart couldn't take it anymore; it was one more discovery away from just exploding in her chest.
Her mind was running out or excuses, but it was a just a birth mark right? Anyone could have a birthmark like that, there was nothing special about it. It was just a regular oval shaped birth mark, that on Maria’s body she loved to pepper with kisses. But this wasn’t Maria.
Anyone could have a birthmark like that.
It could be anyone, a nobody, somebody she never met before in her life.
Natasha closed her eyes and took one more step so that she was right by the table. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes to finally see the mystery woman's face. The one she had convinced herself that wasn't Maria.
But one look at the mystery woman and Natasha let out a choked sob.
The beautiful face of the love of her life was lying on a table motionless.
No longer would Natasha see that beautiful smile gracing Maria's lips. No longer would Maria's beautiful blue eyes glare daggers at her when she pushed her too far. Crying Natasha gathered Maria up in her arms as she held her to her chest.
"NO please!" pleaded Natasha, "Please don't leave me, I need you. I love you so much, come on baby please, please, PLEASE!" she pleaded as Natasha pulled Maria as close as she could to her body as Natasha began to rock back and forth crying.
Natasha knew she was gone. Maria had left her, she knew it, Maria was not coming back. So she stood there holding Maria's lifeless body as to hers, wishing that somehow, someway, if she held Maria close enough to her heart then perhaps Maria's would start back up again.
________________________________________
Clint Barton stood by the door watching the whole scene play out before him, a lone tear flowing down his face at his Natasha’s anguish. He couldn’t take the waiting anymore and when he went to search for Natasha. Searching the hellacarrier he Phil Coulson sitting outside a door, with tears flowing down his face. In that moment Clint knew something was terribly wrong and Natasha was somehow involved. Clint threatened Coulson with an arrow through his head in order to get the door open. Fury was standing in the doorway and to a room his back turned to Clint. At the sound of the door closing Fury turned and Clint stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Directory Nicholas Fury with a tear going down his cheek. The sound of Natasha’s sobs echoed throughout the room as he approached the door. Fury gave him a look before stepping aside Clint stepped through and froze.
Natasha must have sensed his presence because she looked up at him with tear filled eyes.
Natasha looked up at him for a few seconds before starting back down at Maria in her arms as she brushed her hair from her face.
"I love her Clint," said Natasha softly. "I told her for the first time exactly one year ago. It just slipped out. Remember that mission in Somalia? Remember? We both had gunshot wounds and Maria and her team barely got us out of there. We were on the way back to hellicarreir and Maria had me up on this table putting pressure to the through and through on my shoulder. She was looking at me with a mixture of fear and anger… you know how she gets sometimes. She was so mad at me for trying to complete that mission by myself. She opened her mouth to no doubt give me an ear full and I just said it. I thought she was going to hate me, I thought I was going to mess everything we had up…”
Natasha paused to stare up at Clint with a sad smile on her face, "but you know what she did Clint? She was speechless…in all my years working with her and knowing her I have never ever seen that woman speechless" laughed Natasha sadly.
"And then she said it, ‘I love you too, you big idiot now shut up and let me stop this bleeding.’ I thought I died Clint, I mean Maria Hill said that she loved me …well in a way only Maria Hill could tell someone she loved the," whispered Natasha staring back down at Maria.
Gathering Maria up in her arms she rocked her some more just cradling Maria in her arms until she caught sight of the ring on her left hand again.
Reaching down her stroked the ring on her finger, "I asked her to marry me last week Clint. We were on leave and I took her to that small Thai place she likes and then we took a stroll through the park.
"I was so scared Clint. After all my years being the Black Widow and working for SHEILD I had never been more terrified of something then I was trying to ask Maria Hill to marry me," said Natasha picking up her head to stare sadly at her partner seeing tears in his eyes.
Natasha ran her thumb over the top of the smooth gold on Maria's hand before speaking again.
“We talked about rings before jokingly and I knew she didn’t want a diamond, just something simple, a band with maybe an inscription.”
"I carried the ring in my pocket for a week but kept chickening out right before I asked her. Finally in the middle of the park she just looked at me a smiled. I know you didn’t get to see her smile often but god Clint, it about knocks my heart out of chest every time I see it."
"I took one look at her and it was like my leg just gave out and I fell down onto one knee," Natasha whispered. "It was if God himself decided it was time and just took my leg right out from under me," she said softly smiling.
"So there I was just kneeling there in front of her at not knowing what to say. I can't even tell you what I said to make her say yes it was all just a blur. But she said yes. She said yes to me. I couldn't believe it" laughed Natasha.
Looking up at Clint she took her free hand and wiped away the tears from her eyes.
"I mean she said yes, to me" whispered Natasha as if she didn't believe the words she was saying. "She read my file. She knew all the horrible things I have done….I never deserved her…she was so far out of my league… what she ever saw in me I have no idea."
Leaning down Natasha kissed the top of Maria's head as she set her body back down on the table. Taking her hand Natasha stroked Maria's cold cheek and spoke, "She is gone, and I can't believe she left me, I can't live without her Clint."
"I can't survive without her, who will keep me in line? I won’t listen to anyone else, I barely listen to her. Who is going to keep the nightmares away? Who is going to stop me from drinking too much vodka when the memories become too much?"
"What am I going to do when I go to our apartment and I see her stuff everywhere? Her horrible taste in cd's in the entertainment center. And that disgustingly healthy soy food crap littering our refrigerator. Or those stupid antique war memorabilia she collects on our bookshelves?!"
Natasha stared back up at Clint her body shaking.
"What am I going to do when I get back from a mission and she isn’t waiting for me on the deck? What am I going to do when I go on shore leave and she is not there to finish Season 5 of Breaking Bad? How in the hell am I going to function here without her here?” Cried Natasha tears flowing down her face freely.
"I don't know Natasha" whispered Clint finally speaking up as he walked forwards and laid a hand on his friends shoulder. "Come on, we need to call her sister," whispered Clint.
Natasha just nodded as her eyes went back down to Maria. Leaning down she kissed Maria's forehead for the last time as she stroked back her hair.
"I love you Maria Hill," whispered Natasha choking on her words, “I love you so much and I always will" and with that she walked out the door with Clint in tow. Stopping by the door Natasha gave one last tear obstructed view of the love of her life.
It wasn't just anyone's beautiful black hair.
It wasn't just anyone else's scar on their ankle.
It wasn't just anyone else's engagement ring.
It wasn't just anyone else's beautiful birthmark.
It was Maria's.
It was her woman.
She was no stranger.
She was not just anybody.
She was the one.
She was her soul.
She was her life.
She was her heart.
She was her savior.
She was her redemption.
She was everything.
And now….now she was gone.