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Moka bursts into the cafe. She’s not excited for a sweet this time, even though this cafe makes many good ones. She’s here because she saw online that they’re selling a special flavor of artisan chocolate bar that’s spicy. Moka hates spicy food. She has no tolerance for it. Even the tiniest bit of wasabi or hot sauce makes her tear up. But she thought that getting herself this spicy chocolate would be good for her special training. The more she can accustom herself to the parts of life that aren’t sweet, the stronger she’ll get, right? The better she’ll get at staring scary and bad things in the face… right?
She buys the chocolate and sits at one of the tables to try to eat some. She can’t put it off, she has to do it now. She takes a deep breath and takes a bite.
The flavor is so intense right away. It’s peppery and it’s… bitter! Really bitter! Oh no, it’s also really dark chocolate! She doesn’t like that either. And the heat… the heat is only getting more intense the longer it’s in her mouth… she’s definitely tearing up… She swipes at her eyes. Just get through this, she tells herself. You’re getting stronger.
“Miss, are you okay?” a voice says.
Moka looks over. A little girl has walked up to her. She can’t be any older than ten. She’s adorable! Then, suddenly, she panics. How on earth will she explain what she’s doing to this little girl??
“Um, I’m fine! I’m just, um… I just… have allergies?”
“Oh,” the girl says, looking unconvinced. “Would you like a tissue?”
“No thank you, I’m all set. That’s so nice of you! You’re such a kind girl.” The girl beams. “Get back to your parents, okay?”
“Oh, I’m here alone.”
“What?” Moka blinks in shock. She looks around the cafe. Oh gosh, she isn’t lying… they’re the only two customers in the cafe right now. “But… why?”
“I wanted to visit this place. I heard it was really good.”
“It is!” Moka says, nodding enthusiastically.
“Is their cheesecake good? I really want to buy a slice of cheesecake…”
“It’s amazing! You should definitely get some! I think the strawberry flavored cheesecake is best, myself.”
“Really? But… I like just plain cheesecake the best. Is the plain cheesecake also good?”
“Yes, it is! Actually… because you were so nice to me, can I buy you some?”
“You don’t have to do that, miss!”
“No, I insist!” She gets up and goes to the counter. “May I have a slice of plain cheesecake?”
“Oh, did you not like the artisan chocolate?” the woman behind the counter says. “It hasn’t been very popular.”
“No, no, I… love it! The cheesecake is just for my friend.”
“It didn’t really look like you were enjoying it.”
“I am! I just… have allergies!”
“Okay,” the woman says, and it seems like she isn’t convinced either. She rings Moka up for a slice of cheesecake. “That chocolate has a very complex flavor profile. It definitely isn’t for everyone.” A complex… flavor profile? Moka feels like she is being called unsophisticated.
“No, I really do like it!” she insists. The woman boxes up a slice of cheesecake for her, and she hands it over to the girl. “Here you go… wait, what’s your name?”
“Nagisa,” the girl says cheerfully. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Moka!”
“Can I eat my cheesecake with you, Miss Moka?”
“Of course,” she says. Then she realizes that she’s doing a special training right now, and she absolutely doesn’t want anyone else to see her during it. “Um, wait, actually- I, um, I just remembered I have to get going to, uh, to… an errand.”
“Really,” Nagisa says. She looks amused. “If you just don’t want me to know that you don’t like that chocolate, it’s fine, I don’t care. Just don’t eat any more of it.”
“But you don’t understand! I have to!” Moka blurts out.
“Have… to? Why?” Nagisa scrunches her brows together. Moka realizes she is probably weirding out this kid. Also, she realizes she probably shouldn’t just leave her here. She’s totally unsupervised! Who knows what could happen? Although… If anything does happen, Moka is probably the last person on earth who could do anything about it…
“Um… Never mind. I just won’t eat any more.” The special training will have to wait until later. Moka is kind of grateful. She and Nagisa go back to her table. Nagisa sits and opens up her cheesecake.
“Aaah! It looks so good! Let’s eat!” She takes a bite. “Mmm! It’s amazing! This is even better than Mami can make!”
The girl scarfs her cheesecake. Moka sits awkwardly, not eating. When she takes a look at her chocolate bar with a single small bite in it, she feels a little like it’s taunting her. She wishes she had also bought herself a slice of cheesecake, to make this less weird. And also to get the weird aftertaste of the artisan chocolate out of her mouth.
“Wow!” the girl says finally. She had finished her slice of cheesecake really fast. “What a good cheesecake! I’m so happy I came.”
“I’m glad you liked it,” Moka says, smiling. Nagisa really is cute.
“Thank you for buying it for me, miss! You’re very nice!”
“So, where do you live? Maybe I can walk you home…” If I don’t get lost, she thinks.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I live in Mitakihara, so it would be a long trip for you.”
“Mitakihara?? What are you doing here? Surely… you didn’t come alone?”
“Hmm…” Nagisa puts her chin in her hands. “If I say I did, will you get really upset?”
“You can’t be running around on your own like this! It… isn’t safe!”
“I’m perfectly safe. I have a cell phone and I’m very good at yelling for help.” Nagisa pulls out her cell phone from her pocket and waves it at Moka. It’s a very basic model with lots of charms attached to it.
“Why did you come all the way out here?” Moka says. Mitakihara… she’s never even been there.
“To try this cheesecake! And also just to see what’s going on.” Nagisa smiles. “I like to go to new places and look at everything.”
“That’s… nice.” Moka still thinks that this seems kind of unsafe for her. She wonders if this is how her friends feel about her. No, surely not… surely her friends think she’s more capable than a ten-year-old! They must! Right?
“So… can I ask why you said you have to eat that chocolate bar?”
“Well…” Should she come up with an excuse? Can she say she didn’t want to waste it, maybe? Or…
“Can I try it?” Nagisa interrupts her train of thought.
“What? You want to… try this? But it’s spicy, and bitter too…”
“I’m curious.”
“Okay, fine, if you really want to. But I warned you!” She breaks off a tiny piece and hands it to Nagisa, who pops it in her mouth. Moka watches her closely. She chews on it slowly. She scrunches up her face. But she doesn’t spit it out and she doesn’t tear up, not even a little. Oh no, Moka thinks. This ten-year-old is really tougher than me. I can’t believe it.
“That was weird,” Nagisa says. “Hey, why are you looking at me like that?”
“Well… the real reason I was making myself eat this chocolate is because I don’t like it.”
“What? Why eat something you don’t like?”
“Because… I’m a real crybaby, Nagisa. I hate things that are bitter and things that are scary and things that hurt.”
“Doesn’t everyone, though?”
“I guess, but I really can’t deal with them at all. Like just now, you were able to eat a piece of that chocolate just fine… and I couldn’t even take a bite without crying…” Moka sighs. “So I’m trying to eat it anyway. To become tougher.”
“You think a chocolate bar will make you tougher?”
“Yes! It’s something I don’t like. I’m trying to do things I don’t like, to get better at facing them. And maybe if I train enough… one day, I can be someone who is tough and strong.” Someone who can help others instead of being helped. Someone who could save someone else.
Nagisa looks at her oddly. “I don’t think it’s bad that you’re like this.”
“But I want to be able to help other people. Everyone has been protecting me all this time- Papa, Mama, my friends, everyone… I want to be able to protect them back! And so… I can’t let this chocolate defeat me!” Filled with courage, she suddenly picks up the chocolate bar and takes a huge bite.
“Moka, no!”
“Mmm… mmmmfgh!!!” It’s so spicy!!! It feels like her head is going to explode!
“Let me get you some water!” Nagisa scurries off to talk to the woman behind the counter. Moka coughs and splutters. Tears are streaming down her face. She managed to swallow the chocolate, but her mouth is still on fire. That was absolutely awful. She had been trying to prove herself, but she only made herself look like a bigger baby. Why is she even trying to impress this random kid, anyway?
Nagisa comes over with a paper cup of water. “Moka! Here!”
“Thank you…” Moka drinks it. Getting some water was a great idea- why didn’t she think of it herself? “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
“It’s okay. You’re… very determined.”
“Thanks! I’m really trying to be.”
“But… what I was going to say before all that is… I think that you can help people the way you are now. I don’t think you have to change to help people.”
“What? But I’m such a mess right now… I’m afraid of the dark… I get lost all the time, and I’m always tripping over my own feet and walking into things… My friends don’t trust me to do anything by myself.”
Nagisa looks a little shocked. Moka thinks that maybe she shouldn’t have told her that much. But Nagisa shakes it off. “Well, I think… a lot of people want to be like the way you are now. To be someone who has never had to open their eyes to awful things, and let darkness and bitterness and curses into their heart…” Wow, Moka thinks, this girl is very smart. She wonders if maybe she’s actually as smart as those weird genius girls who are in the Kamihama Magia Union. “A lot of people aren't like that.”
“I know. I know I’m very lucky. And that’s why-”
“Wait, I’m not done! I think that maybe the way you are and the way you think is so different from the people who have faced bad things in their lives… that it can point out a new way of looking at things to them that can make them happier.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah, I do!” Nagisa had a weird, weird look in her eyes there for a minute. A look like… someone much, much older than she is. A look like someone who has seen absolutely everything. It was a little scary. But suddenly, she’s back to being just a normal cute little girl. “I think your friends like you the way you are, Moka! So don’t worry too much!”
“Thanks so much, Nagisa. You know, sometimes they do say I have an interesting way of thinking and stuff like that. I know my friends like me, but also, it always feels a little like they’re making fun of me…” Moka feels she is probably oversharing and decides to change the topic. “You know, you’re very smart. I bet you do really well in school.”
“Oh, I don’t go to school.”
“Huh???”
“Shh, don’t tell anyone that!” Nagisa grins.
“You came all the way out here by yourself and now you’re telling me you don’t go to school? I’m really worried about you, Nagisa! Where are your parents?”
“Well…” Nagisa looks odd again, for a second. “Let’s just say they’re somewhere else.”
“Oh. So they went on a trip, or something? And you don’t even have a babysitter or an older sibling or anything around to watch you?”
“I have plenty of friends in Mitakihara! Like Mami, she helps me out a lot.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that.”
“Really, please don’t worry about me, Moka! I’m absolutely fine! I’m just enjoying my life, you know?”
“Okay, if you say so, I guess…”
“Actually… do you want to know what I really am?”
“What… you really are?” Something about how she said that made Moka kind of worried.
“I’m the Magical Angelic Heavenly Messenger of Cheese!”
“Wh… whaaaaat???”
“I’m an angel who was sent down to this timeline for the sake of cheese,” she says, nodding proudly.
“Oh! I see.” Moka realizes that this little girl is actually a bit of a chuuni. How cute! She’s a little young for that, but it’s adorable nonetheless. Moka decides to play along. “So you’re really an angel! Wow, now everything makes sense.”
“Thank you for understanding!” Nagisa says. “You know, a lot of people really don’t like it when I say that. It’s okay, I know not everyone will believe me.”
“You’re really cute. Are you sure I can’t at least walk you to the train station to go back to Mitakihara?”
“No, it’s fine, miss! I’m not leaving town yet. I have some more places I want to visit.”
“Really? But… if you don’t leave soon, it’ll already be dark when you get home…”
“Please don’t worry about me, Miss Moka! I’m really strong, promise! I have angel powers, remember?” She jumps down from her chair. “I guess I’ll get going. Thanks for the cheesecake!”
“Um… you’re welcome.”
“Good luck with your training! While you’re trying to face bad things and bad feelings, just remember that they always end. It might take a long time and it might not look like you want, but I think… for everyone, their bad times will always end. That makes me feel a lot better.” The girl nods sagely. Moka feels a little like she should stop her from wandering off alone. But also… this girl is actually a lot smarter and stronger than Moka herself is. She doesn’t think she could help her very much, really. As usual, she’s just not helpful to anyone. She’s someone who needs help, not someone who gives it. So she lets Nagisa walk out the cafe doors.
Now, she has to do what she originally came here for. She has to eat more of this chocolate. She’ll never become someone who can help others if she doesn’t keep training. Even if her friends do like her the way she is, she still doesn’t want to keep being that way. She won’t let anyone die again. She braces herself and takes another bite.