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Zeke pressed his eyes shut but still, the light wasn’t getting any less bright. He leaned against the barrack walls and pressed his hands onto his eye, still no change. His heart was racing and he couldn’t quite get his breathing to slow down. He slid down the wall until he felt his ass hit the floor and tried burying his head between his knees, yet the bright light and the loud noise seemed to only get worse.
His head was spinning, he heard multiple voices speaking. Some were whispering, sime yelling, he couldn’t tell which of the memories were his and which were Xavers. He saw a tall man with short brown hair smoking a cigarette, then a bright flash and two bodies laying on the floor. He heard his father yell something indistinguishable and Xavers calm voice reassuring him. He couldn’t understand either of them or see them clearly, they were just shadows in his mind making his head spin hard.
He covered his ears to try and drown them both out but to no success. He ruffled through his own hair to try and calm himself down but it only seemed to get worse by the minute.
“Yeager” a loud voice yelled.
Zeke shrugged together and pressed his eyes shut even closer.
“Get up, you’re a warrior now” Maggath grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him to his feet with a loud laugh.
Zeke opened his eyes and immediately felt a sting go through his entire body, just looking at the ground was as if someone shone a bright light directly into his eyes and his head started to spin again.. Maggath finally let go of his sleeve and Zeke fell to the ground, landing on his knees. His eyes were opened wide and he was staring at the ground now, breathing fast and erratically.
Maggath nudged him lightly with his foot “you gonna be alright wonderboy?”
Zeke hastily nodded his head and pulled himself to his feet with the help of a brick wall next to him.. He stumbled forward but managed to stand up on his feet. He coughed a few times, still feeling like he would have to throw up any minute and then forced himself to walk forward, at least until he was out of Maggath’s field of vision.
He leaned against the wall again, shaking.
Both Xaver’s and his fathers voice were still silently bouncing around in his head. Pictures were appearing in front of his inner eye, people he had never seen before that seemed oddly familiar. Like a slideshow in his head that he couldn’t get to stop. He pressed his hands onto his face and started breathing, in - out, in - out, in -out. He closed his eyes, his headache was getting better, the voices were getting quieter.
“Mr Xaver,” he sobbed silently as the man appeared in front of his inner eye again.
“You should go to sleep,” someone said.
Pieck was sitting on the ground not far from him, hunched over staring at a book laying on the ground in front of her.
“Mr Muller told me it’s best to go to sleep after you first turn because your head has to try and sort out all the new information and you start going crazy if you’re awake”
He wanted to say something to her but trying to speak felt painful. Instead he just nodded. He walked the remaining few metres toward the entrance of the barracks and forced himself up the stairs until he reached his flat. He took out his keys and failed a few times before getting them in.
He didn’t even bother getting into the bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and let himself fall onto the couch. He put his arm over his eyes to try and block out the still very bright light. He wasn’t sure if he’d actually be able to sleep now but at least he felt somewhat better than sitting on the ground outside.
Only now he realised he had been crying, his face was wet and even now tears were slowly rolling down his cheeks. He saw His father…- Grisha, he saw Grisha, he saw his mother and his grandparents, pictures and short moments floating around in his head. Xaver countless books and the baseball equipment he frequently used.
His head was still spinning, the memories were like films of which the volume had been turned off. At the same time he heard people's voices, some familiar, some he had never heard before. Zeke took his arm off his face, he was too exhausted to keep it up the whole time. He started taking deep breaths again as Xaver had shown him once and seemed to calm himself down a bit now until he finally fell into a dreamless and short sleep.