Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It started after they had left her hospital room. Her first reaction was to hide below her covers, while trying to get the complete chaos in her head under control. Sure, she knew Nagisa was a good assassin, but this… He must have been spending more time with Bitch-Sensei than she realized. The technique, the feeling. She shivered. What was she supposed to do? 

Kaede pulled the covers away from her head. Give up? Hell no! She’d prove that she was just as good at- at… hmmm. K-Kissing? Her face went completely red again. Kiss Nagisa? Well, it would prove that she was more than capable of beating him at his own game. And how dare he be so… so cruel as to kiss her without asking, life-or-death situation disregarded. That was her first kiss! And she just knew Karma and Rio would tease her all about it. Not just them, the entire class! Maybe this would put their attention on Nagisa? After all, this was owning it, right?

She sat up in bed, hand going up to her lips. At the same time, it felt wrong to mess with him after all he’d done for her. Her lips tingled beneath her fingers. It’d felt good at the time, though. And… it would feel good right now, wouldn’t it?

For both of them. And she couldn’t lie, she really wanted to kiss him. The key part being that she kissed him. Preferably with a lot more power. She’d aim for thirty hits, like Bitch-Sensei had gotten the first time. There was a lack of a shudder over her spine as she thought it. Before, that thought was always accompanied by bloodlust, but it was completely gone now. Instead, it was replaced by a green feeling. Green as her hair. Pure and utter jealousy. Why did Bitch-Sensei get to kiss him? Let alone before her! She gave herself a firm nod. She’d make sure that whenever Nagisa thought of kisses he’d only think about her. And her kisses, which would be far better than his. 

But when to do it? Korosensei had taught them a lot about assassination techniques, and one of them was to do the unexpected. 

Assassination rule 1: Do the unexpected

Where would Nagisa not expect to be kissed? Here, in the hospital room. The classroom. The campus. Shops. Outside the class. In the forest. Maybe the better question was to ask where he would expect to be kissed. She came up blank. 

Well, she’d probably start with the easiest one, where it was most normal, and then build up. That way, she’d leave those places for later. But… What if someone else got the idea to kiss him? She’d have to make sure everyone saw that he was hers. So… the classroom? No, Karma and Rio would make pictures, so that was a bad idea. Unless… If she made sure no one had their phones nearby, wouldn’t that work? But how would she get their phones taken away? Korosensei. Korosensei had the power to take their phones away as a teacher. And because he was Korosensei. 

So how? By making sure everyone was interested in their phones. So… a plan for assassination shared by phone? Make sure everyone’s volume is turned high, time it so Korosensei is very surprised and takes everyone’s phone, then make the kill. Kaede smiled. Just you wait, Nagisa, I’ll show you I’m the better kisse- assassin. The better assassin.

There was one important thing before she started, though. Something very, very important. For this plan to succeed, she needed a very specific skill. One she didn’t have… yet. She inhaled deeply, then exhaled. Time to go to Bitch-Sensei for an extracurricular lesson.

Chapter Text

“You want me to teach you to kiss?” Kaede had decided not to waste any time, to make sure no one got any ideas. The first chance she got, she’d gotten Bitch-Sensei alone and asked the question. The answer was a bit unexpected, though. Bitch-Sensei had been repeating the question for the past minute, instead of saying yes. And Kaede had no time to waste!

“Yes! Just say you will!”

“I can’t teach you how to kiss, Kayano.” 

Kaede rolled her eyes. “Sure you can,” she said. “Just teach me like you taught Nagisa.” 

“I didn’t teach Nagisa, Kayano.” 

“You kissed him.” 

“If you want me to kiss you, Kayano, you don’t have to do it through schemes, even if it is very fitting for an up-and-coming assassin.”

Wh- Where did Bitch-Sensei get the idea that she wanted to kiss her? There was only one person that was gonna ki- that she was gonna kiss. And it definitely wasn’t that big-breasted bitch. Sensei. 

Bitch-Sensei tilted her head, hand on hip, completely oblivious to Kaede’s thoughts. “Also, as your sensei, I can’t just kiss you. Pretty sure there’s a bunch of laws against that.”

“WHA- HOW DOES THAT EXPLAIN NAGISA!” She quickly slapped her hands over her mouth, giving the door and window, as well as the tables, ceiling, and the painting suspicious glances. She had experience in assassinations, and she’d seen how stupidly inventive her classmates were. 

“I wasn’t your teacher back then.”

“You have no morals,” Kaede deadpanned. 

Bitch-Sensei gave her a raised eyebrow in response. “I’m an assassin, dear.” She grabbed lipstick and covered her lips. “And I have other targets than a boy who can pass for a 10 year old girl.” 

“Karasuma-Sensei?”

“W- OF COURSE NOT! I don’t care about him at all! He’s… he’s just a… an…” No, she meant that Karasuma-Sensei was…

“A colleague,” Karasuma-Sensei said. “And nothing more.” 

Well, that was awkward. And good blackmail. She still had no idea on how to kiss, though. She walked out of the room, ignoring Bitch-Sensei’s pathetic begging behind her. Maybe she could copy Nagisa? There was only one slight problem with that. She didn’t really remember what happened, a combination of the tentacles and the crazy rush. Her heart still sped up when thinking about it. Well, it was a good thing she was a teenager instead of an adult. Because, as a teenager, she had the ultimate solution to every question. 

“How do I kiss well,” she muttered, typing it into Google. And there you have it. Hundreds of guides. Now to choose a good one. Hmmm. Did Nagisa count as a boy or a girl? On the one hand, he was a boy. On the other hand, he looked very cute in that dress.  

“Whatcha looking at?”  

Kaede startled, nearly dropping her phone. She took to juggling to stop it from falling, only for the person who spoke to grab it. Kaede looked up, and came face to face with a massive, cruel, devilly grin. “Well, well, well. Kaede, are you thinking about kissing someone? How cute.” For someone who looked so nice, Rio took an awful lot of joy out of seeing someone squirm. 

“GIVE THAT BACK!” She managed to grab it before it was put out of reach, and quickly closed the browser. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Goodbye.” She hurried away. 

“Don’t worry, Kaede! I’m sure Nagisa will love you even if you can’t kiss well!” 

“THAT- THAT’S NOT! THAT HAS NOTHING DO WITH ANYTHING.” She shouted back, blushing. Darn, darn, darn. Why oh why did Rio have to see this? Now everyone would know. Unless… She quickly ran back to Rio. “Alright, alright. I admit it. I was making a plan to assassinate… you know.”

The devil’s grin turned into a slightly worried, yet proud, smile. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Oh she was sure she was gonna do this. Her this was just different from Rio’s. “I am. I was thinking maybe we can somehow take Korosensei’s attention, and then…” She drew a finger over her throat. “And if a three B person does it,” she trailed off. 

“Three B?”

“Big-Breasted Beauty,” she growled, a fist clenched. 

“I’ll help you. What do you need?” Oh. This was perfect. Alright, here we go.

“I just need you to put your phone on sound, and make sure to play around with it. I need Korosensei to take every phone.”

“How does that come into play?”

“Not important. Well, it is important, but it’s important no one knows.”

“Alright. I think I can have that happen. Let’s do this?” Rio offered a fist. Kaede bumped it. “Let’s.” 

Chapter Text

“The next message will be shown to the class.” This was her moment. Korosensei had gotten so frustrated with Ryo constantly using her phone, sending messages to the rest of the class, which in turn made them use their phones, that he’d taken all of them. Kaede stared at Nagisa as he looked down at the ground. There was a very light blush on his cheeks, probably from having his phone taken. She smiled fondly. He looked so cute like that. She couldn’t wait until she had kissed him. Would it be a light blush, like this one? The slightest hint of embarrassment at being kissed, or would it be bigger, covering his entire face, perhaps. She slowly maneuvered into a better position. Everything had been planned. She would jump at him and push him off his chair. This would result in them both falling to the ground, carefully between the tables. To make sure he didn’t hurt his head, she would put her hand behind it. She’d done her research. If she did it right, he wouldn’t be at risk. 

She’d also made sure to try it out a few times, with a doll, to perfect her technique. The falling part that is, of course. The kissing part, well…

That part was very simple. Wing it, with some added help from what she remembered of when he kissed her. Except this time, he was the one in the vulnerable position. Nagisa’s assassination skills didn’t extent to physical strength. Admittedly, neither did Kaede’s. In fact, she was smaller than him. But… Nagisa, in his confusion, would undoubtedly not fight back for just a moment. And in that moment, like a cobra, she would strike. His lips. With her lips. And now she was blushing. 

Korosensei had resumed his mach twenty lesson. And then it happened. A ting sound. Korosensei suddenly had the phone in his hand. “I warned you, Ryo.” Ryo made a surprised and horrified face, made being the key part, because she wasn’t that good an actress. At least not compared to Kaede. 

“No please, Korosensei!”

“Too late,” Korosensei said as he unlocked the phone. “I know every phone’s password. You are not careful about hiding them at all. In fact, one of you doesn’t even ha-” He trailed off, a blush spreading on his face and the perpetual grin taking a slightly lewd twist. “Ryo, who is this?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” The rest of the class started muttering. Nagisa shifted forward slightly, to try and see what was on the screen. And Kaede struck, surging forward. Nagisa turned in surprise, only to fall as Kaede slammed into his side! A hand was put behind his head, and another on the small of his back. Kaede could feel a cobra rising behind her, and then strike with her. His lips. Her lips. There was a gasp behind her, then several voices cried out. Kaede ignored it all, as something much better happened. One hit. Two hits. Three hits. She moved slightly. Four hits. Five, six, seven, eight hits. All in quick succession. She moved her legs in a more comfortable position, then leaned in even deeper. Nine hits, ten hits. She almost lost herself in the moment, but then focused on the goal. Thirty hits. She was at fifteen hits now. Nagisa was fighting back, trying to regain control. Kaede opened her mouth slightly, and let her tongue lick his lips. Nagisa slackened again. Twenty hits. Twenty-one hits. She buried her hand further into his hair. It was soft, silky, everything she remembered. Twenty-five hits. Nagisa’s hands came up, softly pushing at her shoulders. No chance. She moved the hand not buried in his hair up, to between his shoulder blades. Her legs tightened ever so slightly at his waist. She wasn’t letting go. Twenty-nine hits. Thirty hits. She slowly opened her eyes, and blinked. When had she closed them? Nagisa looked confused, embarrassed and overwhelmed, all at the same time. She slowly pulled back, pulled her hands away, and sat on his stomach. She smirked. “I win, Nagisa.” 

The background suddenly came into focus, as she heard her classmates shouting, all trying to figure out what was happening. Kaede just looked at Nagisa, watching as he tried to come to terms with the fact that she just kissed him. In the middle of the class. It made the victory all the sweeter, that no one had any way of teasing or blackmailing them with pictures. 

“NJIHIHIHI!” Korosensei gave his characteristic laugh. “A very impressive assassination, Kaede. Good planning, good execution. You just forgot one small thing.”

She looked at him, and paled. In each of his tentacles was a phone. “As you jumped towards Nagisa, I quickly grabbed every phone and set them to film you. In addition, to make sure every detail was grabbed, I used the phone in my hands to take pictures at mach twenty.” He frowned at one of the phones. It was smoking slightly. “Might have overdone it ever so slightly.”

“THAT’S MINE!” Ryo shouted, quickly running up and grabbing it. “Though all the pictures are intact.” A sinister grin appeared as she slowly turned to Kaede. “Kaede, Kaede, you sneaky seducer, using me in your plans to kiss Nagisa senseless.”

“And you nearly got away with it too,” Karma said on her right side. “Thank you, Korosensei, for ensuring that such… excellent assassinations are put on camera. Do you have any others?” 

“Why, of course. Every assassination any of you ever made is on camera. I will be using them for the picture album at the end of the year. You can enjoy them as I blow up the world.” 

“We’ll remember you kindly with them, instead, Korosensei,” Karma responded. “And now, Kaede, let’s have a nice conversation, shall we?”

“Maybe you should get up, unless you like where you’re sitting? Nagisa has no problems with this position, I think.” Nagisa, it should be noted, was completely out of it. The metaphorical birds were flying around his head. Kaede, however, was suddenly back in her chair. So suddenly, she wasn’t sure if she was the one who moved, or not. She was also surrounded by members of 3-E, with Ryo standing next to her, a devil’s grin still planted on her face. Karma was helping Nagisa up, that very same grin planted on his, too. “Now, Kaede, let’s have a nice, fun talk!”

Chapter Text

“Maybe if you slap him?” It didn’t really get through the daze that Nagisa found himself in. What that meant was that he heard it, but didn’t really hear it. He knew, logically, words were being said, but his mind was more focused on the fact that he had just been french kissed. For an unrealistically long time. Unrealistic, because generally, a kiss doesn’t last seconds and seconds. Seconds and seconds, because details have to be given in writing. The details in this story were, perhaps, a bit over the top. But that’s how romance works. Maybe. Either way, Nagisa still felt the feeling on his lips, even if it had been an indeterminate amount of time. He was about to feel something different, too.

SMACK! “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Nagisa shouted, finally startling out of the daydreams he had been lost in. He had been very focused on the kiss. Kisses? It was so long, there might as well have been multiple. The day dreams might have had something to do with that, actually. They were nice. 

“Nope,” Karma said. “You don’t get to fall back into that. You’ve got some explaining to do.”

“What are you- do you think I saw this coming,” Nagisa hissed. “I don’t know where it came from!”

“I believe it came from Kaede,” Tomohito responded, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Guess you aren’t the best assassin of the end-class anymore, huh?”

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!” 

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Karma smirked. “You calmed Kayano down by kissing her, but now it’s obvious she’s a much better kisser than you. Unless you can prove you’re better than her, of course.” 

“I’m not kissing her!” Even if he wouldn’t mind i- NO. Just because he could still feel the pressure of her lips on his, even long after the fact, didn’t have any impact on his decisions. And the pain on his cheek from being slapped was probably messing with him. Lastly, the kiss was obviously just payback for when he kissed her. Now they were equal. 

Tomohito tossed a baseball up into the air and caught it again. “I don’t see the problem. You like her. So you kiss her.” 

Please, dear reader, note that this is not a good reason to simply kiss someone. It is always preferable to ask for someone’s permission. Unless you have some strange kind of deal with them, which allows you to kiss them at whatever point you want. Which still implies permission has been given. That, or you are in an anime. Coincidentally, this also goes for perverts, as perverted actions and thoughts seem to be more acceptable in anime than in general life. Either way, to get back to the point: Tomohito’s idea of simply kissing Kaede, because Nagisa likes her, is not necessarily a good decision. Fortunately, Nagisa has morals.

A mad blush lit up on Nagisa’s cheeks. “I’m not kissing someone without permission!” How could he think something like that, it was just rude.

“Isn’t that exactly what you did last time?” Karma asked with an eyebrow raised. He gestured in the direction of where said incident happened. “Sounds to me like you have already let go of those morals.” 

“What morals are you talking about?” The fact that Nagisa had to stop and think about what he just said, can be taken as proof he wasn’t completely back in it. 

“And Kaede kissed you without asking, just now,” Tomahito continued unruffled. “Might actually be a while ago. Korosensei hasn’t given our phones back, yet. I think he isn’t happy he didn’t see the assassination attempt on one of his students coming.” 

“The school day isn’t even over yet,” Nagisa muttered. “It was only math.” 

Karma seamlessly made a face that would be fitting on a devil. Which is why it also fit on his face, perhaps. “More than enough time to make a plan to fight back!” He threw a whiteboard, one of those white things with magnets, onto the ground. Where he got it, no one knew. “And luckily for you, I have the perfect plan!” 

“I TOLD YOU I’M NOT KISSING HER!” 

“That’s what you say now. You just haven’t heard my plan yet.” Nagisa made some wild gestures, not knowing how to respond. 

“It’s not like it’s a loss to listen, Nagisa,” Tomahito said. “It’s break, anyway. Also, everyone is waiting to ambush you the moment we get back into the school. I think it’s best to let them cool down a bit.”

“Break?” But they had only been in school for an hour. Break shouldn’t have been for a while, yet.

“You were gone for a long time. Really, how big is your crush on Kaede if that’s what happens when she kisses you.” 

“I must have bumped my head,” Nagisa responded. 

Karma snickered. “She made sure to put a hand behind your head. I think that’s where any feelings of pressure on your head come from.” He put his right hand into the air. A marker was in it. “Now sit and listen!” His left hand was raised. In it was a bottle of various spicy sauces, as well as tape. 

Nagisa sat down and listened.

— —

“You do realize you need to stay ahead, right?” It came out of nowhere. Kaede had been busy fielding the many questions that the rest of the class had been flooding her with. It was a good thing she had experience with these kinds of situations, else she would have been overwhelmed. Like Nagisa. The blush on her face was mostly hidden by the victorious grin. That it has some light similarities with Karma’s devil’s grin is something that is not relevant to this story. 

“What are you talking about?” Kaede asked. “I won, completely!”

“You do realize that Karma dragged Nagisa away, right? He’s probably convincing Nagisa to fight back somehow.” 

“Don’t you mean kiss back,” Rio snickered. 

“Shut up!” She shouldn’t have done this at school. Then this wouldn’t be happening. 

“We should make a plan! Quickly, before they return!” 

“That’s a bit fast, isn’t it,” Toka said. “And you’re sounding very fired up about this, Rio.”

Rio gave a hair flip. “Of course. I’m all about getting our cute little Kaede the love she deserves.” 

“I believe you have ulterior motives,” Toka muttered. Then she shrugged. “What do you propose?”

“Don’t I get a say in this?” Kaede asked.

“No,” was the united response. She slumped onto the ground in response.