Chapter Text
CAST OF CHARACTERS (in order of appearance):
Brook — Narrator
Zoro — Galavant
Robin — Madalena
Cavendish — Richard
Franky — Gareth
Vivi — Vincenzo
Usopp — Sid
Sanji — Isabella
Luffy — Steve (Jester)
Sora — Queen of Valencia
Zeff — King of Valencia
Foxy Pirates — Joust Tournament
Shanks — Jean Hamm
Benn — Jean Hamm’s Friend
Makino — Barmaid
Yasopp & Banchina — Sid’s Parents
Fullbody — Eunuch
Buggy Pirates — The Executioners
Koby & Helmeppo — Squires
Cipher Pol Number 9 — Assassins
Whitebeard Pirates — Peter the Pillager & Pirates
Nami — Gwynne
Enel & God’s Army — The Monks
Hiriluk — Xanax
Chopper — Toad
Hakuba — Kingsley
Pudding — Cousin Harry
Charlotte Family — Kingdom of Hortensia
Dorry & Brogy — Peasants
Bon Clay, Inazuma & Kuma — Patrons of The Enchanted Forest
Ivankov — Queen of The Enchanted Forest
Farul — Richard’s Horse
Hawkins — Edwin the Magnificent
Revolutionaries — Republic; formerly Richard’s Kingdom
Judge — Wormwood
Bartolomeo — Roberta
Ichiji, Niji & Yonji — Von Falconburg Sisters
Momonosuke (dragon) — Tad Cooper
Donquixote Family — Giants
Baroque Works — Dwarves
Kuja Pirates — Queen Jubilee’s Court
Mihawk — Galavant Sr.
Perona & Punk Hazard Kids — Students of Galavant Sr.
Law — Neo
Moria & Thriller Bark Pirates — Zombie Army
In the square of a small, quiet village, a solo musician began to stroke the strings of his violin. He smiled brightly at the curious passersby and spun in a circle, kicking his heels and shaking his curly plume of black hair, and, to no one in particular, he began to sing:
“Once upon a time, in faraway land surrounded by sea, there was a legend told about a gallant hero known as Roronoa Zoro, the greatest and most glorified knight in all the world. The (adopted) son of the once-greatest swordsman, his skill was second to none in battle, and his three swords were famous throughout the land. So, too, was his face—and body—for his handsomeness was equalled only by his incredible, inhuman strength. Certainly, he possessed every manly virtue! Mess with him, he’d disembowel you! In every single way, a fairy tale cliché, a man who’ll save the day in this tale I’ll tell you—!
“But I’m getting ahead of myself. Ahem:
“Now, the man I’m speaking of, he had a lady-love—or rather, a woman he was betrothed to. Robin, too, was the fairest maiden in the kingdom, with long legs and perfect skin; a body made for sin; with cleavage you could hold a whole parade in! (Ahem.) Zoro had rescued her once, and, as was customary, proposed to her upon delivering her to safety. And she accepted, as was expected of a damsel rescued by a knight. A poor orphan, herself, it would benefit her immensely to wed the greatest knight in all the world. However, one small problem would soon arise—
“Oh, thank-you!” said the musician to a villager, who dropped a coin in his hat. “Now, where was I? Oh, yes:
“Cavendish, who was the very, very rich king, saw Robin as he rode through the village. Unlike some kings—most kings, in fact—this one was young and unbelievably pretty. He sat tall and proud upon his noble steed, with his long, butter-blonde curls blowing artfully in the breeze and a blue cape sailing out behind him. A true princely figure, who drew the attention of everyone he passed. However, very like some kings—most kings—he was spoiled and selfish and when he saw Robin in the market, he wanted her for his queen. And so, he asked her for her hand.
“Well, more like a demand…
“Well, more like he had his henchman snatch her.
“The henchman threw Robin over his shoulder and rode off in pursuit of his king’s fickle whim.
“When Zoro heard of his fiancé’s abduction and how she was being forced to marry the king, he was furious.
“Which brings us to today!” sang the musician loudly. “The Royal Wedding Day! No one can stop it, now, but our gallant hero. So, now poor Robin waits, behind the royal gates, for Zoro to change her fate—
“Huzzah and tally-ho!
“Sit back and here we go!
“A tale you already know, but hopefully you’ll still enjoy the show!”