Chapter Text
Sunlight danced over delicate features, scars glistened in the golden light, bringing beauty to a ruined canvas. The discolouration was outlined in gold, glowing in the flare of the morning, creating patterns on pale skin.
He felt calm. An unsettling feeling in his bones, one not usually present within his soul. He ripped his eyes open, blinded temporarily at the suddenness of the light that filtered into ocean-blue irises.
His wide-eyed gaze flickered around the room, taking note of spruce walls, carved with intricacies he could only dream of achieving; a shining, clear floor with soft fur rugs and large pillows gathered neatly in piles like small nests; walls decorated with beautiful paintings, armour, weapons, all well-made and handcrafted.
He eyes flicked once more to the bed beside him, comfortable-looking blankets and pillows piled high, gold and silver jewellery laid out neatly within the nest, a crimson fabric lay neatly in the centre, white fur peaking out at him from the top of it and a gold chain for attaching the clothing to yourself.
His pupils dilated slightly.
‘Tech’
He shook his head and looked away.
‘No. You betrayed him. He wouldn’t want you here. He’ll be angry”
He glanced back at the bed.
‘But he’s my family’
His pupils expanded further.
‘Flock?’
‘Mhm’
He was gone. He lunged for the cloak as though it would run from him if he got too near and picked it up from the nest. He clasped the golden chain around his neck and buried his face into the soft fabric.
‘Flock.’
He took a deep breath in, the scent of his brother filling his senses and pushing him deeper into his instincts. Eventually, he glanced up long enough to remember the jewellery sitting just to his left and quickly grabbed a handful of items.
A small silver necklace with a sword charm containing a ruby pressed into the hilt, a pair of golden earrings with miniature crowns dangling beside his cheeks, emeralds pressed into the metal, a silver ring shaped like a dragon on his right pointer finger and a simple golden ring on his left middle and ring fingers.
The metal reflected nicely in the light streaming into the room, and he stared at it for a while, watching the movement intensely, with wide eyes and an open mouth, small chirps leaving him in intrigue and contentment.
He ruffled his wings.
He paused.
He moved his wings again, the feathers shaking slightly, then spread them out fully.
‘Holy shit’
‘Holy fucking shit’
“What the fuck”
His voice was barely a whisper when he spoke but he took no mind over the cracks in it, too busy wondering how the fuck he got his wings back.
“What the hell happened?”
His voice wavered as his throat began to ache, his vocal chords not prepared for the sudden influx of speech, he took note of it, careful not to say anything else.
His eyes flitted around the room once again, wondering if he had missed a mirror, wanting to look at the newfound replicas of his old wings. Unfortunately, he didn’t find one, instead opting to stand and wander the house until he did.
As he began to move off the bed, he buried his face once more into the cloak, breathing in the scent of one of his flock members as his feet padded along the cold floor and out of the bedroom.
He wound up in a small room with a sofa, again made of soft red fabric and covered in more pillows and blankets. He doesn’t remember Techno liking to have this many soft things, the man preferring jewels and precious metals to comforting items like plushies and blankets.
‘How would you know? You haven’t properly seen him in months’
‘Shut up’
‘I’m not wrong’
His brow creased, a small frown tugging on his lips, the voice had a point, he chose not to think about it too much, focusing his attention back onto finding a mirror instead.
He stumbled slightly as he made his way through the room he was in, finding himself at another door. He pushed it open carefully and it made a low creak as the hinges strained slightly under the weight of the wood.
The first thing he saw was a hearth, the logs that lay within were covered with ash, the slight warmth of the small, grey pieces showed that the house was at least lived in recently, however not so recent that the owner was nearby.
On top of the hearth, pictures sat innocently in wooden frames, depictions of happy faces and wide smiles from a simpler time, back when the family lived together in the Empire.
One of the pictures showed Tommy, his hair wild and more gold, blue eyes brighter than the sky, a drop of snow on his nose, his eyelashes and hair full of the cold flakes. He looked happy, his smile shone brighter than the sun reflecting off of the snow in the background, he radiated pure joy, he was the sun in that photo, the human embodiment of all that fire and warmth, his heart and soul pouring with heat and anger but also compassion and freedom, a longing for hope that would never stop.
He wore a soft blue cloak, the pastel colour matched his skin tone well, it suited him really, small snowflakes were embroidered around the bottom edge and it was lined with thick fur, most likely to keep out the biting cold of the Empire’s weather. As well as this, a black glass lily lay delicately atop a pin that was placed carefully and securely in his golden hair; ‘a gift from his mother’, he mused silently a small smile now playing over his lips.
‘What happened to that?’
The thought brought back the small frown and he moved on quickly, looking over to another photograph. This one was the twins. Wilbur was on Techno’s back as he seemed to try to throw him off, a slight smile pulling at his mouth, while Wilbur smiled freely, a wild grin over his features as he tormented his brother.
They were both around 8 or 9, with crooked teeth and clear skin, no scars in sight yet. Wilbur’s curly hair appeared golden in the light of the morning and Techno hadn’t yet begun to dye his, the natural brown of his hair appeared slightly darker than Wilbur’s was. Techno’s tusks had yet to grow in properly, for now only little stubs that poked slightly out of his mouth, although his eyes were still the red that they were now and Wilbur’s appeared to be hazel in the sunlight that beamed down onto his face.
They were in the gardens of the palace in the Empire, flowers poked out of bushes and grass as they resisted the perpetual cold of the kingdom, their fluffy blue cloaks were wrapped snugly around their figures, small snowflake details embroidered on the corners of the fabric. The foliage in the back was vibrant, if a dark, rich green rather than the typical bright grass green.
The plants were sustained through magick, he knew that much, but the details of the spell escaped him. He was never really trusted with much information on the inner workings of the castle, being much too young at the time, seeing as he left for the SMP at around 8 years old.
In hindsight, it was far too young of an age to be going so far from home, but at the time he had jumped at the chance to explore, hoping for adventure and excitement to ease the antsy feeling in his bones that lasted eternity.
'Shouldn't have left, should ya?’
The voice almost sounded sad as it said that, regretful.
‘I didn't know better at the time. Not like Phil taught me anything ’
'Yeah, yeah'
He turned away from the mantle that he had made his way over to, a large mirror sat above the headboard of a double-bed, the sheets white, covered with a pale blue blanket, embroidered with white asters and soft pink peonies.
‘Holy shit ’
His wings shone in his reflection, bright white and sparkling gold danced with each other over them, bursts of red seeped through the cracks between delicate feathers, dripping over them. They moved smoothly, like they were never taken, gliding through the air as he moved with an elegance he didn't usually possess.
His hair was brighter, the shoulder-length curls shone as they did in the photograph, like the golden sun on a warm summer evening as it makes room for the moon in the slow-darkening sky.
His eyes were as the picture too, blues twisted and swirled like a tropical ocean with light dancing over waves as wind blows over shallow waves, moving them to sway softly over white sands.
His scars were still there, but now we’re outlined in gold that resembled smooth ink as it glided over his pale skin and dripped down his arms, legs, face, hands. It ran like rivers over his body, it was beautiful.
‘I agree, holy shit’
The voice had a tilt of amusement to it, as it knew something he didn’t. Given it’s previous comments, it probably did.
‘ What the hell happened? ’
‘You don’t remember?’
‘ Remember what? ’
‘Nevermind’
‘ No tell me, what don’t I remember? ’
‘If you don’t remember, that means She didn’t want you to’
‘ Who? ’
‘Her.’
‘ Well that’s helpful. Thanks so much for the input ’
He rolled his eyes at the voice, a short sigh leaving his lips as he looked back to his reflection.
‘ I should get a change of clothes, these ones are boring ’
‘Yeah, you should’
‘ Shut up ’
‘Alright, alright’
The clothes in question were a bright white that would be ruined as soon as he did anything, given his track record. They were flown and loose, just overall really comfortable, but not at all his style. He just hopes Techno kept some of his spare clothing from when he stayed here.
He makes his way out of the bedroom and back to where he had woken up. A small wooden chest sat in a corner, a layer of dust had collected and the lock was rusty and deteriorating.
‘ You’d think Tech and his obsessing would have thought to replace the metal every once in a while ’
His delicate fingers reached out towards the box and he opened it slowly, careful not to snap anything. In it lay a few pieces of clothing, there wasn’t a lot, but it would be good enough for now.
He picked out a white shirt, the collar having a small pin in it, a violin; a crimson jumper, the fabric nice against his skin, soft; a pair of trousers, a dark brown colour, that may have been a bit big on him once but now fit well on his tall, thin frame and a small silver box.
The box shone in the light as he opened it deftly, his fingers shaking slightly as he pulled out a long chain. On it hung a small pendant. A small golden crown. It stared innocently up at him, red jewels reflecting light onto his face.
He put it up to his neck, reaching behind and under his curls. He fastened it around his neck, letting out a small sigh as the cool metal rested against the skin of his chest, as he tucked it under the shirt and hid the reminder away, it was for only him. No-one else.
He took a step away, slowly. He turned away. He walked back to the mirror. His reflection seemed less vibrant, more reserved. The colours looked dimmer, the light seemed further away. He froze silently at the sight of a duller face, his skin, eyes, hair all seemed muted.
Like they were afraid. Like the colours were afraid of the past. Of what the memory of it meant for the future. Of what it held. What it could hold now. How it could tear apart the present and roll in the pieces. How it could run towards the future and barrel into it. Destroy it in one move. How it could be bad.
Or. How it could build up the present. How it could make changes that were positive. How it could bring teachings and examples. How it could help people learn and grow. How it could bring so many possibilities to an infinite world of change and growth and good and evil. How it could be good.
He looked away, scared like his soul, his spirit, his colour. He ran.
Away. Out. Into the cold of the morning wind. Into the present. Away from the view of his past.
He ran like a frightened child. Like he was 7 again, running from the arguments in the dining room, living room, bedroom. Running from the shouts of his brothers, his parents, his friends. Running from his responsibilities, his work, his image. The perfect image of a youngest child, presented to rulers and commoners alike.
He tripped. Into the freezing snow. It clung to his hand and knees and for once he was glad for the numbness in his bones and skin that hung on to him through everything.
‘Hey, you need to calm down’
‘ I’m fine. ’
‘I’m in your head, I know you aren’t and if you stay out here any longer, you’ll freeze to death’
‘ Fuck off ’
‘Do you even know where you are?’
He looked around the empty landscape. How long had he been running?
‘A bloody while, I can tell you that much’
‘ Go away ’
‘You know I can’t do that’
‘ Yeah, yeah. You were sent to keep me safe. Blah, blah, blah ’
‘ Just shut up, let me think for a sec ’
‘Last time you thought too hard you ended up out here’
‘ Fuck off ’
‘Ok. Guess you don’t want to know where you are’
‘ No, wait! Tell me ’
‘I thought you wanted me gone’
‘ I didn’t say that… ’
‘You totally did’
‘ Anyways. Where am I? ’
Tommy spun around gesturing widely, his arms stretched wide, his wings mirroring the movement, as snow crunched under his feet.
‘I don’t know’
‘ You bitch ’
‘Sounds like a you problem’
‘If I could punch you, I would’
‘Wouldn’t be very smart of you though, you know I could smite you if you did’
‘ Yeah, yeah. You’re just soo powerful and strong ’
He rolled his eyes dramatically as he said it, voice dripping with sarcasm.
‘I still don’t know why you don’t believe me’
‘ Cause you can’t prove it ’
‘ And trusting strangers is bad ’
‘Yeah, because you totally stick to that rule’
‘ If you aren’t going to help, fuck off ’
‘But then you’ll be lonely and we both know how you hate to be lonely’
He sighed at the voice. They were right obviously, but he didn’t have to admit that to anyone he didn’t want to, not even the voice in his head.
‘Alright, you’ve got to head west, that’s where the house is. If you don’t want to go there, you can always head back there and then towards L’Manberg and the Greater SMP.’
‘ Thank you ’
He smiled and began the trek back to Techno’s cabin, it would be better than nothing and he was beginning to feel a bit cold, so a roof over his head would be nice. He didn’t think he was ready to go back to L’Manberg and the SMP was an instant no.
‘ Hey, do you think my wings work properly? ’
‘Only one way to find out’
He grinned at that, beginning to move the fluffy appendages, preparing to take off from the icy ground. His smile widened as his feet began to lift off the floor, laughing happily as he made it into the open air with only a couple little stumbles.
The wind was biting as he flew up and up, but he didn’t care, the feeling of wind in his feathers, cold air in his lungs as he dove and spun through the sky, the movements familiar, freeing.
He was free. Finally, after so many years of clipped wings and broken smiles, he was finally free. He could go wherever he wanted to go, do whatever he wanted to do.
He could finally live, free of the shackles that bound him to the earth. That kept him trapped in a steel cage, waiting for someone to unlock it from the outside. Waiting for someone else to help him.
He should have helped himself. He doesn’t know that he didn’t help himself. He doesn’t know anything.
‘You’re gonna panic again’
‘ Shut up. I’m fine ’
‘We both know that’s not true’
He took a deep breath in, focusing on the wind in his hair and the air in his lungs, proving the life he’s living is real, that he’s actually there, in the sky, high above the problems and opinions of the people going about their own lives, their own stories, unaware, uncaring, below him.
Higher still, above everything, above the land, the clouds, the rain and the snow, above the thoughts and desires of mortal beings, the voice in his head stood tall, with light hair and eyes and a voice of silk, as through weaved from the heavens themselves.
She spoke to another.
A being of darkness, contrast to her light, with blacks, purples and blues, swirling through her hair and a voice like a clear night full of bright stars that shine in a void of pitch black.
“How is he?”
“He’s okay for now, starlight,” Darkness spoke lowly, comforting the other.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
“He’s had a few rough patches, but he doesn’t remember the worst of it, just as you wanted.”
“Thank goodness”
“He will have to remember eventually though”
“I know that, sunshine, but for now, he’s happy enough,” Light smiled softly at the other, “for now, he’s alright.”
Light took Darkness’ hand and they sat, watching over their world, their earth, as he flew through blue skies and soft-looking clouds, pure feathers glimmering in the sunlight, orange and yellow, beaming down onto his face. He shone. Brighter than any star.
“For now.”
They smiled softly at each other.