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Eddie can almost hear their heartbeats, once synchronized as the careful machinery of clockwork, falling to dissonance, completely opposite from the other. Each beat steady and hysterically in the same path, the universe kind enough to keep such connection and so, so cruel to drive them in opposite directions.
He takes a look at Buck, the softest of blues, staring at him, shattered. If the ocean could break its waves just like glass, this is exactly what that it would be like to stare at the cracks.
He exhales what feels like thick smoke in a ravaging fire, and, unable to stop himself, he brings a finger up to Buck's cheek, cleaning the oceans of tears.
"I love you." As soft and steady as he can manage, and barely a whisper. "I don't think there's anything that'll ever change that."
Buck crosses his arms, embracing himself and looking so small, so broken. Eddie aches to pick up the pieces. But he doesn't move, all he can allow himself to do is ache. "I love you, too, Eddie. Always will. But this—"
It can't continue like this.
He understands, of course he does. That's why they're standing there, devastated, looking at the remains of everything that could have been.
Maybe one day it won't be so broken, Eddie silently prays.
It's a silent agreement, they ran out of words in what feels like eons ago. "I know."
Buck smiles, then, moving towards the door. So beautiful and tragic, in the way things are only when they're about to crash. "You know, if this is meant to be, we'll find our way back."
We will, we always do. Eddie wants to scream without doubt and hesitancy. But he isn't sure anymore, and isn't that the point of it all? At this second, all he can do is long to get back that certainty that was always reserved for his boyfriend.
Ah, no longer his. No longer certain. Yet he longs, and he hopes.
He only nods in response and Buck turns his back to him, opening the door, lingering for a few seconds.
He turns back, taking a long step towards Eddie. He holds Eddie's face in his hands, pressing a kiss to his lips. In his lips he finds the kind of answers he could never voice, somehow it's all-encompassing.
It's sweet and delicate, and Eddie feels like he is bleeding out once more. And it's all it takes for him to break. Because it doesn't feel wrong, it doesn't feel like an ending, but it's excruciating all the same.
Buck lets him go when both of their tears get in the way and he finally steps outside. "Goodbye, Eddie."
The door clicks and the sound rings in Eddie's ears, forever scorched on his brain.
Eddie's been shot multiple times, he's known pain his whole life, physical and emotional. There was a point in his life where he knew nothing but pain. Eventually it went away, and he couldn't have braced himself for the way he feels now.
Because Eddie's known pain, he's survived, he's outlived it. And now? Well, he can only be so strong for a lifetime.