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Thor had finished his breakfast and was patiently waiting for Loki to finish his. His brother had always been a slow eater and Thor was glad as it gave him enough time to admire Loki's sweet little mouth and the way his lips parted to take in a spoonful of oatmeal, the clench of his jaws as he chewed. He took a sip of the orange juice and the single droplet on his lower lip was inviting Thor to lick it off. Thor wanted to do so many things like skipping the council meeting to spend the entire day with Loki and…
"Stop staring or I will kick you." Loki said, looking up from report he was reading as his cold foot brushed against Thor's under the table. There was a light smirk on his face. Oo, How Thor loved it. How he loved Loki.
"Like you kick me in the bed." Thor was grinning and Loki rolled his eyes, trying not to smile back but norns, it was tough. That stupid smile, it filled Loki with so much warmth that he was certain, could melt a frost beast. He wished he could bask in it forever. The sun was overrated, it stood no chance against the fool before him. His oaf.
"C'mon, brother. There are some instances, I admit but I have not done that in several decades."
"No?" Thor raised an eyebrow. "What about the time you kicked me in the groin? I was writhing in agony while you slept like a baby."
"And when did that happen, your majesty?"
*
'How are you this evening, your majesty?' Loki whispered in between his painfully slow thrusts.
'Very full and don't..ah don't call me that.'
'Call you what? Your majesty?'
'Aye, it's just Thor for you.'
Loki bit the shell of his ear in response 'Oaf.' and pressed deeper inside Thor. It felt like home to both of them.
'Hmm. That's better.'
*
He did not like the confused look his brother was giving him.
"On the Statesman, Lo." said Thor, he sounded so vulnerable that it made Loki wonder if he had said something untoward. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt his brother, he carried enough remorse to last a lifetime or two.
"Well. That .. how would I know about it." the youngest Odinson replied nonchalantly, not giving it much thought. He plainly stated the truth.
"Of course. Of course." Thor said after a long pause. His gaze was fixed on the flower vase, avoiding any eye contact with Loki. Though his continuous mindless nodding worried Loki, it was annoying as well. His brother was acting odd… again.
"Thor I-" Loki was cut off by the heavy slam of Thor's fist on table. He watched as Thor hastily put his bowl in the sink and grabbed an overcoat.
"Finish your breakfast, alright. You need to eat well."
Thor forced a smile and Loki wanted to cry, scream and tell Thor to stop it. This must be put to an end. "I have to meet some ambassadors. See you later." He hurried out of the room like every moment spent in Loki's company was suddenly making it difficult for him to breathe.
And Loki, he had had enough of it. He let out a tired sigh before following Thor.
"Brother, wait." and Thor did not, he almost rushed out of the house but Loki was quicker. Thor flinched when the main door slammed shut before his face. Fuck magic.
"We need to talk." Loki was oddly calm this morning, was this a calm before the storm? was this supposed to be unsettling? Thor did not know, not anymore.
"Open communication was never our family's forte." He muttered familiar words, his eyes welling up with tears. Did he want to cry before Loki? No. Did he want to run away and never come back? Heck yeah.
"Thor, look at me." Loki was not loud but it did not make his words less threatening.
"Okay fine, just tell me what did I do or say to change your mood so drastically that now you refuse to even look at me." Loki grabbed him by the arm and turned him around. Now the god of thunder was facing his little brother, he had no choice but to stare in those green orbs. He saw them widen in shock. "Did I hurt you Thor. Why are you crying?" Thor's knees felt weak, if not for Loki's vice like grip on his arms , he would be lying on the floor. It would make a nice bed, right?
But in the next moment he was pushed against the door and suddenly he missed Loki's touch who was taking a step back, shaking his head in disbelief. He was smiling.
"Really Thor? All of this-" he imitated a crying gesture which looked like an attempt to mock Thor. "- because the reality hit you once again that the Loki before your eyes is not your Loki. ? I have been living in this house with you for months, sharing your bed every single day ever since like we used to , not technically but you get the point. We moved in here together six month ago if you remember and here you are, acting like you never knew the truth of things. I am not your Loki, Thor. I never pretended to be."
For some reason Loki's calm demeanor infuriated Thor,
"Yes, you are not my Loki. You will never be. We don't have what I had with him. You are him and every time I look at you, I like to think that he is here but the thing is…. You are not him. My Lo is gone. He was taken away from me, he was all I had and they took him away. I am sorry if I embarrass you with my grief. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE IN THIS." Thor screamed.
"You think you are the only one who has lost a brother. I had escaped with the Tesseract because it felt right in the moment, I'd have returned to my family, my brother once the situation was less adverse. I could always go back to him and Thor would accept me with open arms, no matter what. My Thor. And then I got lost in the vastness of multiverse and this time... I could not even locate my Thor as they had erased my universe... my timeline out of existence and Thor was gone, just like that. I had access to all the powers to alter the multiverse but I could not bring him back. I wish I had more time with him. Yes, It's unfortunate that Your Loki died and I would do the same. I will gladly choose death over a life without my brother in it. You know, I saw the file and your Loki got to keep you for all his life whereas I did not even get a chance to say goodbye and yet I find myself lucky that I found you. I thank norns every day for it but you seem not to care. Just know that if my Thor appeared right now, I would not spend another moment with you." Loki hissed back. His tears flowed unceremoniously down his heated cheeks matching Thor's.
"You would leave me?" this was all Thor could manage.
"Don't pretend you would not do the same. Let's face it Thor Odinson that they are gone.. both of them. We have to learn to live without them. I don't know exactly how we are going to do it but I know that we will figure it out ..together. We.. The two of us, we are all we have left and I think that It's enough. It has to be or else-" his voice was barely audible. "One thing that I have learnt from this multiversal chaos is that the Lokis love their Thors, a little too much in my opinion and it does not matter what they do but their love for Thors remains unwavering across the multiverse and I don’t cherish you any less because you are not mine. Never doubt that I love you, brother. I have never known otherwise."
Loki choked on his tears at the end and Thor's heart shattered into million pieces once again. It was a wonder that he had not died of a heartbreak yet. He wanted to say I love you back, he wanted to pull Loki into his arms and kiss him senseless but before Thor could reach out to him, Loki headed towards their bedroom, his shoulders slumped and the dejected look suited him ill. "I won't be joining you today. I am tired. All the best for your meeting." and then he disappeared into thin air.
Thor's legs gave up and he slumped against the door and cried until his phone buzzed. He was needed in the conference hall.
****
It was already dark when Thor returned. The meeting took longer than expected and Thor was unable to focus all day, his mind often drifted back to Loki and surprisingly not his own but the one who appeared in his life out of a time door. Thor clearly remembered that day, his reason to live was back to him. The sun was shining once again. It felt like a dream, still did. Every now and then a strange fear clouded his mind and warned him that it was all a cruel joke and he would wake up one day on an empty bed….
The house was dimly lit. he stripped down to his underpants and trudged towards his bedroom. A smile crossed his face, his brother was sprawled on the bed, fast asleep, in Thor's red hoodie. Although he could only see Loki's back but could tell by the soft snores. Thor hated the fact that he was the reason Loki had cried himself to exhaustion. He quickly slipped under the covers and wrapped himself around the younger god. He inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with something Loki's smell. He wished to spend his entire life like this.
"Won't you wake up, Lo?" What a stupid question, his lips brushed lightly against the back of his brother's neck. He lifted his head and pressed a lingering kiss on Loki's jaw, whispering "I am sorry." He was, he really was. A voice in his head told him that if he did not keep him safe in his arms, some monster might take him away as well. His arms automatically tightened around the trickster. If he lost Loki again, he knew he'd not survive this time. He almost sobbed at the thought but he was tired of crying.
[He had gone to the cliff side after the meeting and sat there, contemplating his actions, not bothering to hide the endless flow of tears. He was certain that several people saw him in this pathetic state, they should knew how weak their king was. He closed his eyes and hoped to see his father, he needed his wisdom. When he got tired of his own misery, he walked back home. He wanted to drown in Loki's arms and forget about everything that existed outside their little bubble. It was just two of them, nothing else mattered. Life kept giving him chances and deep down he was aware that he did not deserve it but Thor was grateful. He would try to be better for his Lokis (one who was keeping tabs on him from Valhalla and another who came back to him defying all the laws of the freaking multiverse).]
He stayed like this for hours, listening to Loki's breath and occasional snores. Sleep was miles away and his wretched mind was starting to drift away again but his brother pulled him back.
"You are late, where were you?" Loki's voice was hoarse with sleep and before Thor could think of an appropriate answer he turned and buried his face in Thor's bare chest. "Don't bother. I am glad you are here." Loki kept nuzzling him and Thor could feel him smile against his pecs. "Soft." Loki hummed.
"Don't you think it's a little chilly to sleep bare, I am not complaining by the way."
"A certain god of Mischief keeps stealing my clothes. I'm afraid I have nothing left to wear."
"Right." Loki drawled. "that's why you wore my black overcoat this morning."
"All of your overcoats are black, it hardly matters to-" Thor yelped as Loki bit his nipple. He was wheezing and the king of New Asgard felt light headed as warmth spread across his body at the sound of it, he was not cold anymore. But Thor's heart was heavy, he needed to let it out. He was going to apologies to Loki, he was ready to beg for it. The good thing was that Loki was still talking to him which meant he was not leaving. He was here to stay but could Thor stop him if he eventually decided to leave, that Thor was not worth the effort, that-
"Lo, I am sorry. Please forgive me for the way I acted in the morning. I did not intend to hurt you, I never do. I swear it won't happen again." His fingers threaded through Loki's hair, gently massaging his scalp.
This made Loki look up and he finally opened his eyes, they looked glassy in the low light. "Don't worry about it. I understand." Loki was caressing his cheeks now, his thumb was pressed against Thor's lips as he marveled at the softness of it, he tugged Thor down and brushed their lips together, which soon turned into a make-out session.
"They say that pain fades away with time but it does not. They lie. It still feels like yesterday, the images of that day flashes before my eyes and they drag me back to that moment again and again. I find myself helpless and restrained.... It hurts so much, Lo. I miss him. Do you think they are watching over us?" Thor said solemnly once they parted. Loki nodded. "What else would they be doing in Valhalla, I am sure they miss us too."
"You know Thor, I loved my brother the most. I loved him so much that it drove me crazy all my life. I hope he knows that how much he has tormented me."
"I know and I love you too, baby." Thor chuckled, dropping a kiss on Loki's temple.
"Then show it to me, you idiot."
Loki narrowed his eyes his brother's face lightened up. He got up abruptly, pulling Loki up with him. They were both on their knees on the bed, with Loki's hand clasped between his king's. "Loki Odinson, Crown Prince of Asgard, Rightful king of Jotunheim, God of Mischief, constant pain in his Thor's arse..." Thor's eyes sparkled with such anticipation that Loki was torn between laughing and crying. "..will you do me the greatest honor and be my Loki, too and take me as your Thor?"
Loki really was lucky to have fallen in love with the biggest, sweetest idiot in the whole nine realms. He only had one heart, how many times was Thor going to steal it?
"I thought you would never ask." With that Loki jumped into Thor's arms with a force that knocked them both off the bed, they landed in a tangled heap of limbs on the floor. Soon, the room was filled with the laughter of two young gods. There was no other place they would be. They were happy, they were home.