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It all started when both Mao and Ritsu noticed a slip of paper fall out of Mao’s locker; with a puzzled expression, Mao picked it up and read it. His eyes scanned over the paper and Ritsu watched as the burgundy-haired male’s eyes went wider as he read each word and how his cheeks flushed a pretty pink shade. Ritsu raised an eyebrow. “What is it Maa-kun?” he asked as he craned his neck to take a peek— he skimmed over it but what he gathered was that it was a love letter.
..A love letter to Mao.
….To Maa-kun.
“What?!” the raven-haired boy shouted in surprise. “Ritsu! Shh!” Mao hushed him.
“Who’s it from?” Ritsu questioned, “The sender didn’t leave their name nor class.” Mao replied, it almost looked like he was pouting. Ritsu took a good look at his best friend for a few moments before asking the question that had been lingering at the back of his mind, “Were you excited to know who it was?”. Mao snapped his head to turn at Ritsu, his cheeks flushing a bit more; “No I just— wanted to know, that’s all. Let’s take you to class.” he responded quickly and grabbed Ritsu’s hand.
You see, at first Ritsu wasn’t too bothered at the idea of his best friend receiving anonymous love letters and small gifts but as time went on, it started bothering him more and more. It started off small, a simple love letter. The second day arrived and it was a gift box decorated with silky pink ribbons and a note attached to it, it read: “For Mao, the radiance of my days”. To be honest, Ritsu was disgusted. He remembers squinting his eyes at the box, anyone around would assume he was placing some curse upon it. He didn’t care enough to know what was inside.
For the third day, Mao received two notes this time. On both notes, it was about how just seeing Mao made their days better— or something stupid like that; Ritsu didn’t care.
On the fourth day, the burgundy-haired boy received two letters, a small gift box with a sweet snack inside of it and a protective charm; was that some sort of jab towards him? He remembers that day like it was just today, Mao flipped through the notes with ease and Ritsu once again peeked at them, the contents made his stomach twist. The letter said a bunch of nonsense. Absolute nonsense.
“Your sweet voice makes me feel like fainting, will you be there to catch me if I do, Mao-kun?”
“Mao-kun, I feel like I’m going to erupt whenever I catch a glimpse of you.”
“If I confessed to you in-person, would you accept me?”
All of that nonsense.
Yeah.. nonsense. Ritsu scoffed quietly and turned to look for Mao’s reaction to the letters. Mao’s eyes held a small glint and under his eyes there was a faint yet noticeable blush. The raven-haired male furrowed his eyebrows, “Maa-kun, do you like them?”
After a few moments of silence, he hummed a response, “Mhm.”
It’s an understatement to say that Ritsu’s heart dropped. It felt like a bunch of concrete blocks and bricks just dropped onto him— actually he thinks that would be better than feeling whatever this is.
————
The soft pitter-patter of the rain collided against the windows of the classroom. “Ritsu-chan? It’s surprising to see you’re not asleep. Something bothering you?” a familiar voice spoke among the silence. Ritsu shook his head, it’s not that he wasn’t bothered, it’s just that he didn’t know why it was bothering him; and by ‘it’ he means those dumb gifts Mao had been receiving lately.
The student came to sit down in the seat in front of him. “You sure?” she asked. Arashi, she’s a good friend of Ritsu’s. The raven-haired boy slumped in his seat, “I don’t know.”
“Is it Mao-chan?” the blonde quizzed. Ritsu hesitated before nodding. She sighed and leaned forward, “Ritsu-chan, make sure to resolve whatever is going on between you and Mao-chan. I see how happy he makes you and I’d hate to see you go back to being gloomy.”
She ruffled his hair before standing up and taking her bag; before exiting the door she said, “Make sure, okay?” and sent off one more smile. It was going to get dark soon, he should be heading home. He made his way to the entrance of the school— only to see a familiar boy he’d recognize anywhere. “Maa-kun?” in response the other boy smiled at him softly and brought him under the umbrella. “It’s time to go home, let’s go.”
Was he waiting here for him? He wonders if Maa-kun got cold. The walk back was silent, but it was a comfortable silence, one that felt warm despite the cold weather. Ritsu didn’t know why the sight or even mention of those stupid letters sent him into a bad mood that occupied his entire existence for the whole day. Mao looks happier today; maybe it’s the letters, Ritsu thought to himself. Ritsu pondered on the walk back home, he let the gifts, letters and its contents bounce around in his head. Feeling like erupting, huh? Those letters were silly.
Suddenly, water had splashed all over his right side. The pair stopped right in their tracks and processed what just happened. There was a car that sped by and it drove over a puddle, and that puddle is now all over Ritsu’s clothes and hair; as if his day couldn’t get any worse. You know, when you’re already having a bad day, all it takes is for one small inconvenience to make you break out in tears. Ritsu first felt the trembling of his body start, he knew this feeling all too well. “Ritsu?” Mao’s gentle voice called.
He just stood there and burned his gaze into the ground below him. Oh how he wished to just run away right now, but of course he couldn’t move from where he stood. Mao tilted his head down to get a look at Ritsu’s face, tears began to stream down his fair skin. Mao panicked at the sight and his first instinct was to pull Ritsu close to him and hug him until he felt better— it’s what Ritsu used to do to him when they were children.
Stupid Maa-kun. Stupid letters. Stupid gifts. Stupid feelings. Stupid Ritsu.
He felt embarrassed to say the least, crying like this on a side-walk out in the middle of the rain and to make it even more embarrassing, he was crying on Mao. Mao rubbed circles onto his back, “You can take my jacket.” Mao offered before he let go of Ritsu and began taking it off. Stupid Maa-kun.
“No, that’s not it.” Ritsu muttered, rejecting the offer. The warm feeling of Mao’s arms still lingered on his body and it was bothering him. This stupid warm feeling inside his body was bothering him, this bitterness he had been feeling all week is bothering him. These flowery, golden feelings he had tried so hard to suppress are coming to light and he hated that. He swore he’d stay just friends with Mao, that way Mao wouldn’t be having any trouble because of him. He wants the other boy to be happy but he couldn’t help but feel a little selfish.
Was that okay? Is it okay for him to feel this way? He bit down on his bottom lip and his body was starting to ache a bit from the long duration of how he’s been standing for the past five minutes. But before he could register anything, he was scooped up and handed the umbrella. “Take the umbrella, don’t drop it ‘kay?” Mao said, smiling at Ritsu warmly.
That radiant smile, the warmth of Maa-kun’s body was touching him— no, he was touching Maa-kun’s body, and he liked it. He enjoyed the euphoric feeling that blossomed in his chest. Maa-kun was giving him a ride on his back just like he always does, but strangely it feels a little different. Tears swelled in the black-haired boy’s eyes, Maa-kun was just too nice.
They had arrived at his home, it was time to part ways for today. “I care about you, you know. You can tell me anything.” Mao lightly reminded the other male. Ritsu wanted to say something desperately, he wanted to shout that he has these stupid suffocating feelings that have his heart in a tight grasp. He wants to tell Mao that he was jealous of those letters, jealous that Mao liked the anonymous student and jealous that he knows someone else is crushing on Maa-kun just like he is. But nothing came out, all that arose was the crimson shade burning his cheeks.
“Ritsu?” Mao called, his head tilted in concern and he approached the black-haired male closer. Their bodies nearly touched again. “Do you have a fever?” Ritsu didn’t get any time to react when Mao put his forehead against Ritsu’s, such contact and closeness will drive him crazy.
The self-proclaimed vampire sucked in his breath and held it. “It doesn’t seem like it, but your face is pretty….hot.” Mao commented, a long pause separating the words ‘pretty’ and ‘hot’. Mao backed up quickly, “IhopeyoufeelbetterRitchangoodbye!” he stumbled before bolting out of Ritsu’s front yard.
Ritsu was frozen in place, whether it was from the sudden contact or from the cold weather, he swore it was the latter. Ritsu thought of going inside but— would he ever get another opportunity like this? Would he get close to this again? That feeling of erupting, Ritsu knows it. With whatever ounce of energy he had left, he sprinted after Mao.
Those nights where the two would stay up and watch movies together, laughing and poking fun at the characters. Those nights where he’d purposely put on a scary movie just to feel Mao’s grasp on his arm tighten. Those mornings when Mao would wake him up. If you looked at it from anyone else’s point of view, you’d think it’s nothing too special. But to Ritsu, it meant so much to him. Ritsu remembers falling out of a tree once and injuring himself, the injuries were minor but Mao treated him so carefully, so gently and lovingly.
“I care about you, you know. You can tell me anything.” Mao’s words replay in his head.
Ritsu doesn’t know if it’s okay for him to do this knowing someone else likes Mao too, he doesn’t know if it’s right of him to express these overflowing feelings. He just wants Mao to know, he wants to hear Mao’s answer, he needs to be rejected to move on.
“Maa-kun!” he shouts at the boy in front of him. Mao pauses and turns to Ritsu, he fumbles with his hands for a bit before gathering the courage to say, “I need to tell you something.”
———
“You’re soaked Ritsu..” Mao comments, holding the umbrella over the panting boy. “Maa-kun, you said I could tell you anything right?” in which Mao nods. He gulps, he feels the air get tighter around him and he feels guilty. After a few seconds of silence, Ritsu gathers up his courage to say what has been in his heart all along.
“Maa-kun, I like— no, I love you. I’ve loved you ever since we were kids and everytime I’m with you I swear I feel like I’m going to melt. Every time you touch me I feel flowers blossom from the pits of my sick stomach, I feel like crying whenever I see you and— I’m really sorry for doing this. I know this feeling isn’t mutual but I felt like I should tell you because I want my feelings to reach you. So please don’t tell me you like someone else, please don’t.” Ritsu confessed, warm pearls of tears slipped down his face at a rapid pace.
“Ritsu…” Mao started but Ritsu interrupted, “Don’t…say anything. I’m fine as long as we’re still friends.”
Mao remained silent, seemingly trying to find words of his own.
“Ritsu, you’re not the one who sent me those letters and gifts?” Mao asked. Ritsu paused, raised his head and dropped his jaw. “No?” he whispered back, confused as if he were asking a question.
“I thought you were... now I feel kind of stupid..” Mao chuckled to himself for a bit. “You know, you can’t just confess to me like that and not allow me to give you an answer.” Mao scolded lightly. He looked into Ritsu’s wine-red eyes and Ritsu believed he was the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on. Mao leaned closer and put his hand over Ritsu’s lips and planted a small kiss there. “No real kiss until tomorrow.” he said teasingly. Ritsu felt his whole body heat up like never before and he felt like the world was spinning. “See you tomorrow, Ritchan.” Mao waved, a beautiful cherry red decorating his cheeks.
“Maa-kun, wait!” Ritsu called out and grabbed Mao’s hand.
“Do you love me too?” he asked with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. Mao flushed a deeper red and smiled gently,
“I love you too Ritchan. You have always been the one I adored all this time.”
———