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Lana can’t remember the last time she was free.
She’s tempted to say her childhood, but that isn’t even accurate. It’s hard to really place a time when the arguing started, but she knows it was after Ema was born. First it was just snide comments, jabs too cruel to be the jokes her parents said they were. They evolved into something worse as time went on, and more often than not Lana was hiding in her room with Ema, trying to block out the sound of angry voices.
Sometimes she wonders if that’s why they crashed. It wasn’t uncommon for them to argue in the car— it's why Lana got her license as soon as she could. But she wasn’t there that day so she’ll never really know. Lana wasn’t sad about it, not really; just a little shocked and frustrated. Funerals were expensive, insurance lawyers were stringy and CPS was a constant headache.
College wasn’t any easier. Moving out of the old house was nice, but she had to find a way to get Ema to school and get to her own classes and keep up hours at her shitty job because the damn lawyers wouldn’t give her the damn money even though she was eighteen. She fought her way through school. Lana still isn’t sure how she managed to make friends— not like she had the time for parties or clubs. Still, Lee was there to help her study for the bar and Mia was good with Ema when she needed to work long hours.
It was… nice. A break from the world.
Getting out of school made some things easier and some things harder. Most things got harder. There were student loans to pay off on top of rent, Ema was outgrowing her clothes every two months, and as much as she liked her new job starting out from the bottom was never fun. At least the insurance people were actually giving her the money she was supposed to have.
The whole detective thing meant she got to see Mia more, which was nice. What was less nice was Mia’s new boss. Grossberg was annoying and bad at his job, no matter how much seniority he had. Her coworker was worse, though. Armando would sidle up to Mia and flash a smile that made Lana’s stomach churn as he handed off a file and said something about how she was the best rookie they’d ever had. Her stomach only felt worse as Mia just smiled back or playfully rolled her eyes. It wasn’t a surprise when the two started to date. Doesn’t mean it hurt any less. She remembers the day she found out, the pink flush on Mia’s cheeks as she recounts how it all happened. Lana just smiled and nodded, trying to ignore the way her heart ached. She made Ema go to bed early that night so she could drink and cry in peace. Lee showed up at midnight with more booze but she never ended up having any. Lana just sat there and sobbed into their shoulder, letting Lee hold her until she dozed off.
But she couldn’t even have that, because Lee left to start work in Austria the next month.
Work was going better, but even if she didn’t know it then, she was trapping herself. Lana tries not to hold it against herself— Gant was there when she needed someone to be close to— but she’s never been good at holding back criticism. She should have known to be more careful, no one in the industry is safe from corruption. But still, she trusted him and worked with him and then they were top of the ladder and you couldn’t be in the police force without knowing the names and faces of the legendary duo.
And things were great! She was good at her job, her coworkers respected her, she couldn’t even name how many criminals she and Gant put away together. But then there was Joe Darke. SL-9. Everything in this world has a price. She should’ve known it wouldn’t last.
The trial is a blur. Lana tries to keep her face neutral, tries not to look at her sister or Darke or Edgeworth. But she can’t stop herself from glancing towards Gant, who simply smiles and waves. Looking back on it, those two years in between feel so… inconsequential. Her life was nothing but a pathetic routine— sleeping and rising and working and bending to Gant’s every will. Getting arrested was a strangely cathartic experience; all Lana could do was try and smother the smile tugging at the corners of her lips and blink back the tears building in her eyes as she cups her sister’s cheek before the bailiff takes her away. Prison is an even stranger experience. She has more time to think now than she ever has before. She wonders if Ema remembered Lee, and if the two got along. She thinks of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth, two men she sees pieces of herself in. Then there’s Mia— when doesn’t she think about Mia? Sometimes when she’s out in the yard, Lana swears she can hear her voice, or her breath tickling the fine hairs at the back of Lana’s neck.
It’s probably just wishful thinking. Mia has better things to do with her afterlife.
In February of 2019, a familiar face joins her in the jail. His hair might be white and his eyes might be cloudy, but Lana would recognize that cocky smile anywhere. Armando’s a lot nicer to talk to, now, but that might just be because she’s been deprived of any form of decent conversation for the past two years. Lana decides not to look a gift horse in the mouth. They talk about everything except Mia for a long time. But when Armando’s tremors get worse and he starts reading her lips during their talks because he can’t hear Lana’s voice anymore, they quit beating around the bush.
It almost seems disrespectful to talk about Mia like this, two inmates whispering back and forth while in the yard, but it’s not like they have any other options. Mia wouldn’t have cared anyway, she would’ve just been happy that they were finally getting along.
Life felt a lot emptier when Armando died. Lana almost wanted to be mad at him, but she’s tried holding grudges against the dead. It never goes very well.
Falling into routine is easy when you’re incarcerated. The days blend together until years have passed and suddenly she’s not an inmate anymore.
Ema comes to pick her up, and Lana cries. Doesn’t sob or anything, but she has to crack open the glovebox in search of tissues on the drive to Ema’s apartment. Dabbing at her eyes, she tries not to stare at her sister but it’s hard. She’s changed so much, it hurts her heart. She doesn’t really know what to do now. She doesn’t think Ema wants to see her again, but Lana can’t really blame her for that. None of this was easy for her, and Lana coming back into her life probably isn’t at the top of her priority list. But she didn’t block Lana’s new phone number quite yet, so maybe there’s still hope.
Maybe she’ll go and visit Lee. They deserve a thank you at the very least, for taking in Ema. It would be nice to catch up, though.
It’s all up to her. Lana’s not quite used to that yet. She thinks she likes it, though.