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“You always have me. I will always be here. Come to me, call my name, lean on me, hug me, I will be here for you, always.”
The thing is, Jongwoon knows. But there are times when his mind will forget about the fact that Kyuhyun reciprocates his love wholeheartedly, the fact that as much as he is utterly and madly in love with Kyuhyun, the younger is also utterly and madly in love with him. They are each other’s half. They promised each other to stick together. They vow to be together forever.
The sudden sound of the door unlocking startled Jongwoon away from his thoughts. He turned around from his position on the sofa to face the direction of the hallway, vaguely aware of the brisk footsteps coming to his direction.
Before Jongwoon can fully look at the face of the person whose presence have never failed to make him feel safe and secure, he is already being pulled up, then he is being engulfed in an embrace so tight and warm, making him feel the comfort, the safety, and the security he has been missing for a few days now.
Sighing softly, Jongwoon reciprocated the tight hug and made himself comfortable within the younger’s arms, allowing the younger to pushed them back down on the sofa, allowing the younger to settle on top of him, his heavy and warm body grounding Jongwoon back to the present, back to reality.
“Kyuhyun-ah” Jongwoon mumbled, softly adding, “You are here. I miss you.”
“I miss you and I love you so I travelled back immediately as soon as the filming ended.” Kyuhyun replied, turning his head to lean his cheeks on Jongwoon’s hair. “And I am glad I did.” He added, sighing softly as he kissed Jongwoon’s forehead. “I love you, Jongwoon hyung. You have me, I am here.”
Jongwoon immediately felt the tears prickling his eyes when he heard what Kyuhyun just softly murmured to him. The younger has always been very perceptive when it comes to him and his emotions that Kyuhyun was always beside him when he feels exhausted and badly wants to slow down and take a rest. Even when he doesn’t realize he needs the rest, the younger has always been there to pull him to his side and unknowingly allows him to take the rest and comfort that he didn’t know he needed.
The both of them have always had a good kind of mutual relationship with each other. They love and care for each other and what they feel is more than a platonic love, more than a romantic love, more than a familial love. For a decade and a half, they both kept their feet on the marginal line between platonic and romantic love. It was not until recently that they finally crossed the line together, mutually ready to take a step and more.
(And when they did, everyone around them finally heaved that sigh of relief, the thought “Finally” can be heard very loudly even when no one speak the word out loud.)
So just like those times — which also means every time — Kyuhyun cut his time with the others short so he can come home immediately, sensing something is wrong within him, sensing something is wrong with his Jongwoon hyung.
“Kyuhyun-ah…” Jongwoon called,
“I am here” Kyuhyun replied,
“Kyuhyun-ah…”
“I am still here, will always be here for you, hyung.”
Jongwoon tightened his hold around the younger, wanting to feel more of him as he once again called, “Kyuhyun-ah…”
“Yes, Jongwoonie hyung, take a rest, I am here, I am home.” Kyuhyun replied. He felt Jongwoon nod and he dropped another kiss on his forehead before taking the much needed rest with Jongwoon.
They fell asleep on the sofa, holding each other tightly, both feeling the warmth, safety, and security that they can only feel when they are in each other’s presence.
Home, they feel the warmth, the safety, and the security of home.
They are each other’s home.
The both of them spend their free days together without the noise and distraction of the outside world.
Finally being able to see and have each other, finally being able to be in the presence of the other, the longing in their hearts are finally being filled up with happiness and contentment. They have been apart most days of the week for months because of their busy schedules and it’s taking a toll in Jongwoon’s body and mind.
Between the both of them, Kyuhyun has a stronger mind and has more control in his emotions than Jongwoon who is the more sensitive and more prone to self-doubt and fears.
A few days after spending the much needed off days together, their schedules finally united.
The group have to film in a well-furnished one-storey house because their theme for their group activity is Full House— which immediately gave the members something to laugh about.
(“Full house — literally, the house is full right now because of us.”)
(“I discovered the secret of the house! Come here, come here!”)
Yesung is currently with the members— who are done with their makeup and clothes, talking and laughing, being loud as they always have been when the group have to film together— when Eunhyuk pushed him towards where Donghae is waving at them. Leeteuk and Heechul are already in front of them, voicing out the sound of surprise when Donghae pulled down an “ornamental” lever (“Donghae-yah, what are you going to do— yah, yah! Don’t break it—“)
“You should have just told us it’s for a secret door — or is this a private room of this house — you brat!” Leeteuk exclaimed with Heechul adding, “I was very ready to hand you over to the owner of the house, Donghae, as a payment for damage assessment!”
Donghae only laughed at the both of them, waving at Shindong – who they left inside – examining the other side of the mirror. “This private room is actually good but also disconcerting because look —“ Shindong said, pointing at the huge mirror which is transparent on their side. It is a one-way mirror but the people at the living room doesn't know that. Siwon is currently checking himself on the mirror, turning his head from side to side to check his reflection before winking at himself and sauntering away. “See? It’s disturbing.”
“It’s disturbing if a party was held in this house and the owner wants to take a break by relaxing here only to watch in horror that some people are actually very brave to defile his house.” Yesung replied, laughing together with the others when Heechul reenact the “landlord” watching the scene right now in horror — Siwon just came back to the mirror again before sauntering away again.
Then, as if something clicked in their mind at the same time, Shindong and Eunhyuk suddenly looked at each other in horror as they asked each other, “Who locked the door?”
“I did” Donghae innocently replied, adding “Why?”
Sensing something is going to be said that he will not like, Leeteuk walked to them as he asked, “Wait, wait— What do you mean—are we locked here?”
Only then did Donghae looked at them with wide eyes when he heard that, “We are not, are we? Who among you asked the staffs how to open it from here?” He asked everyone, forgetting that it was only him, Eunhyuk, and Shindong who were told by the staffs about the private room that they will be entering (was only told because they were there when one of the staffs opened it— they are supposed to enter the room only when filming starts).
Heechul and Yesung looked at each other in amusement but not really alarmed because they both have their phones with them and of course the staffs know where they went... for sure. “Don’t even start panicking right now, you guys are overdramatic.” Heechul said, laughing at them. Because, really, why would the staffs leave them unattended? For sure a few of the staffs have seen they went inside and know when to call for them and where to get them.
Heechul’s statement — that statement from Heechul himself— made the members who are starting to panic sigh in relief. Right, if Heechul said they are being overdramatic, then maybe they are really being overdramatic.
Calming down, they gave each other a nod.
Now that he is not panicking and finally calm about it, Eunhyuk pulled out his phone from his pocket to call Ryeowook for help.
(“Where did all of you go? We are all done here.”)
“Help us out, Wook-ah!”
Eunhyuk told Ryeowook where they are and how to open the door to the private room that they accidentally locked themselves in (because they still don’t know how to open it from the inside), but, they all watched in dismay as Ryeowook sat on the sofa instead of going to the decoration that Donghae has pulled down earlier. Ryeowook is even smiling while looking at the one-way mirror that he knows the rest of the members are in. He also knows they can see him.
“That little—“ Eunhyuk started but stopped when Yesung suddenly saw someone leisurely walking to the sofa while smiling at Ryeowook.
“Kyuhyun-ah!” Yesung called in surprise upon seeing him, startling the others at the same time amusing them because if the people on the other side can really hear them, then they would have already gotten their attention 5 minutes ago.
Obviously, no one on the other side heard the call of Kyuhyun’s name. Even the person who was called just sat down beside Ryeowook and immediately started talking to him, laughing at whatever topic they are talking about.
Yesung bit his lower lip when Kyuhyun didn’t hear him calling for him, when Kyuhyun ignored him calling for him. Suddenly, a forgotten fear resurfaced from his mind. Right at this moment, Jongwoon can only see how Kyuhyun is near him but out of his reach, can only see Kyuhyun but he is out of Kyuhyun’s sight.
Then Siwon also sat down beside Kyuhyun and now the three of them are talking and laughing — they are clearly having fun. They didn’t know that there are five people who are specifically glaring at Ryeowook. They didn’t know that there is one person who is starting to look desperate while staring at Kyuhyun.
“Let me call Ryeowook. Give me your phone, Hyukjae.” Leeteuk said after seeing the three of them already at the sofa. He glanced at his watch, already worried about the time of their filming “It’s almost time for us to start—“
“Kyuhyun-ah!”
The sudden call of Kyuhyun’s name made them—the people who glared at/still glaring at Ryeowook— snicker. “They can’t hear us. Kyuhyun can’t hear you, Yesung-ah.” Leeteuk commented, a smile still on his face as Heechul commented, “This is weird, figuratively. We can see them but they can’t see us nor hear us.”
“Poetic!” Shindong commented with a laugh while adding, somewhat thoughtful, “But that sounds scary.”
Jongwoon, who is only half-listening to them and half-looking at Kyuhyun on the other side of the mirror, fisted his hands as his mind forcefully made him remember one of his fears — not being able, not being allowed to be beside the younger man. Kyuhyun is laughing, smiling, he looks happy right there but Jongwoon is on the other side, far from him, not being seen nor being heard by him. Immediately, Jongwoon tried to trample the sudden desperation he felt. “Kyuhyun-ah!” He called again, at the same time hoping that the others did not hear the desperation in his voice— the fear in his voice.
“Ayye!” The others laughed at Yesung for not listening to what Leeteuk said. Their laughter grew louder when Yesung lifted both of his fisted hands in front of him — as if he was about to pound on the mirror— and at Leeteuk who panicked at Yesung’s sudden gesture.
“Yesung-ah! You stay where you are—“ Leeteuk hastily exclaimed, hands gripping Yesung’s wrists to stop him. “If you punched the mirror and break it, I am gonna put you, Donghae, and Kyuhyun as our payment! You hear me?” But Yesung is not listening at all. And Leeteuk finally noticed that something is wrong and that Yesung is not trying to be funny at all. “Hyukjae, call Ryeowook, immediately!”
The tone of command from Leeteuk’s voice stopped them from laughing. He sounds very serious and it is an order from him that they needed to immediately respond to. They are not in front of Yesung unlike Leeteuk so they didn’t immediately realized but when they did, Shindong, Donghae, Eunhyuk, and Heechul speedily took their phones out of their pockets to call Ryeowook, belatedly realizing that they can also call Kyuhyun, Siwon, or even a staff— but before any of them can press the call button, Kyuhyun suddenly stands with his eyes fixed on the huge mirror.
They heard Yesung called for Kyuhyun’s name once again, and this time, they can clearly hear the desperation and fear in Yesung’s voice. They looked at each other. Using their eyes, they are questioning each other what they did for Yesung to sound that desperate, eyes opening wide as they silently passed the blame among each other. Then, Heechul shakes his head, stopping the eye-contact blaming among each other and they all turn to watch Kyuhyun instead.
They watched as their youngest’s calculating eyes stayed on the mirror. Kyuhyun’s says something, addressing the people behind him — Ryeowook and Siwon— who followed him when he thoughtfully stared at the huge mirror in the living room. With furrowed brows, Kyuhyun stared at the frame of the mirror before pointing at something that they cannot see from their side. Siwon and Ryeowook also looked at the something that Kyuhyun pointed out, before their expression turned into a surprise.
“Kyuhyun-ah!”
They watched as Kyuhyun murmured something to himself before he reached out his hand, and then suddenly, the mirror is moving sideways, slowly revealing the people — Heechul, Shindong, Eunhyuk, and then Donghae who are all looking at Kyuhyun in amazement— who accidentally locked themselves on the other side.
Kyuhyun looked surprised seeing them standing there, laughter bubbling out of his mouth but it stopped when he saw Leeteuk and then Yesung.
“Kyuhyun-ah…” The one being called immediately walked forward after hearing the call. “Kyuhyun-ah…” He engulfed Yesung in a hug so tight that the next call of Kyuhyun's name sounded muffled. Jongwoon is clinging to Kyuhyun so tightly. Feeling Jongwoon trembling, Kyuhyun squeezed him to him.
“You are all so mean.” Kyuhyun wryly told the rest of the members who all tried to laugh in response before excusing themselves in a hurry.
Before following the rest, Leeteuk patted Kyuhyun on the shoulder, murmuring “I’ll talk to the staffs to give us more time before we start filming. Sorry, we didn’t think we’ll get stuck inside.”
“It’s alright, hyung. Thank you.” Kyuhyun replied before another muffled desperate call of his name resounded from the person engulfed in his arms. Leeteuk gently squeezed Kyuhyun’s shoulder before going to the rest who are currently looking at him, obviously waiting for him to tell them what to do next.
“Hyung, Yesung hyung, Jongwoon-hyung, Jongwoon-ah, I am here.” Kyuhyun murmured, leaning down slightly to murmur on Jongwoon’s ear. “Yes, I am here, hyung. Call on me, lean on me, hug me, I am here, always here.”
Jongwoon laughed at the nonstop words coming out of Kyuhyun's mouth. He has already calmed down, already feeling warm now that he is being touched, engulfed by Kyuhyun. As always, the younger’s presence brings forth comfort, coated him in safety and security. With his hoarse voice, Jongwoon replied, “I know and I am sorry for worrying you. It was just... It was so sudden… I was suddenly reminded of the greatest fear I had before.”
“What is it?” Kyuhyun asked, gently swaying the both of them sideways to ease the tension from Jongwoon and from the members who are still on their guard — the rest are talking to each other but they are also obviously ready to move if they were called to go to Kyuhyun and Yesung.
Jongwoon was quiet for a while before he answered, “…you are here, you are there, but you are not here and you are there, out of my reach, out of my life… you can’t even see me, you can’t even hear me… you are just there, happywithout me, out of your life, out of your world.”
“Hyung—“
“I know it won’t happen. I once fear it would happen and there are times when negative thoughts are rampant but you are always there, every time, with no fail, you banish the thoughts away. I only have to call you, to call your name, to see you, to hold you, to hug you, and everything becomes alright again.. You make me feel safe and secure, I hope you are aware of that fact.”
“I am glad.” Kyuhyun murmured. There’s a smile on his face when he added, “Don’t forget that you are not the only one, you have always been... don’t forget that you do the same for me too, okay? You are my other half, hyung. You are my one and only partner.” He murmured, softly sighing, his face full of love.
Kyuhyun's eyes are still sparkling when he started chuckling. “I want to give you a forehead kiss or a kiss on the cheeks but we are in public so—“ Kyuhyun leaned back a little so Yesung can see the grin on his face — Kyuhyun’s grinning face is so infectious that Jongwoon ended up grinning too — “Leeteuk hyung!” Kyuhyun called, turning his head to look at their leader and members who immediately started walking together with Leeteuk after Leeteuk was called by Kyuhyun.
“Yes?” Leeteuk answered, a smile on his face now that YeKyu are grinning at him.
“Thank you, Leeteuk hyung! I love you!” Kyuhyun loudly said to Leeteuk — who laughed in surprise at the sudden confession— before turning back to Yesung and —still with a smile on his face— murmured, “I love you” before dropping a kiss—anyway despite what he just said earlier— on his Yesung hyung’s forehead, then proceeded on dragging Yesung to the others by keeping his arms around him. “Let’s start the filming. All is good now.”
“All is good?” Eunhyuk asked
Kyuhyun and Yesung looked at each other, together they replied, “all is good.”
"Ryeowook-ah, you said you know where they are? Are they really playing hide-and-seek with us right now?"
"The staffs know too, for sure. Anyway they will be called once we start the filming."
"Oooh! Mystery! I bet...– wait. The design of their decoration is interesting."
"Hm? What do you mean."
"And the mirror looks strange. Look there. I think I saw something like this before."
Kyuhyun turned back to the huge mirror in the living room that is partly half of the wall they are facing. Scrutinizing the design with his calculating eyes, Kyuhyun murmured to himself as something clicked in his mind. "I bet the rest are hiding inside."