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Penny spent the majority of her time studying other people. Partially to learn their mannerisms, partly because it was so darn interesting. She would watch them walk, cry, speak, whatever she could catch them doing. Her favourite thing to do, though, was watch people smile and laugh.
She met Constance Blackwood on the first day of grade twelve, and immediately took a liking to the shorter girl. She was nice, so nice. And she had interesting mannerisms.
So Penny watched her. And it didn't take long for her to see Constance's beautiful, bright smile, hear her sweet-as-sugar laugh.
Constance smiled often, but most of her smiles were small, polite. She was a friendly person, and it seemed she smiled at everyone. But Penny watched closely, and saw how Constance's small smile turned big and full of teeth around Ocean, or whenever Noel said something funny, or Ricky made a particularly sarcastic comment. Constance's smiles were well worth the wait.
Her laughs were different. It took Penny a long time to realize that Constance fake laughed near-constantly. When a teacher told a joke, when she was uncomfortable, even when Ocean said something mean, Constance was always laughing. It was a cute laugh, feminine and a bit childish, but fairly normal.
It wasn't until one day when Mischa called Ocean "little orphan a-hole" that Penny saw Constance's real laugh. She hid it behind her hands, and it was lighter, more giggly. Constance had to walk away, still holding her mouth, in order to calm herself down. Penny found herself staring after her.
It never made sense to Penny when people covered up their smiles and laughter. They were such human expressions, symbols of pure joy and happiness. Why would anyone want to cover it up?
Ricky was harder to watch, because he was also observant. He'd caught her staring at him before, and she'd been so embarrassed it had taken her days to be able to speak to him again. She didn't stop, though, she just got sneakier.
Ricky smiled all the time, especially now that the choir listened to him when he tried to express his thoughts. His smile was hopeful and big and probably Penny's favourite out of the whole group. His smile was naturally beautiful, and real. No one had ever taught him to hide his crooked teeth or to tilt his head a certain way, so he just didn't, and it took Penny's breath away.
Most people assumed Ricky's couldn't laugh, because he was mute. But the disease that took away his words didn't take away his voice and his laugh was big and loud and clumsy. His laughs were made up of many different sounds, but they were all so full of joy that no one could mistake it for anything but laughter.
Ricky wasn't self conscious of his laugh, nor his smile, and that made Penny happy. She wasn't a violent person, but the idea of someone shaming Ricky into sad silence could probably push her there.
Ocean had smiling down to a science. Penny had identified at least three different smiles, all used in different situations.
There was her "Adult I Need To Like Me" smile, which was easily the most common. It was simple, but calculated, with just enough teeth. It made adults see her as a sweet girl, someone they'd be happy to let into their house. She used it on parents, teachers, random adults in public, anyone she needed something from. It usually worked too.
Then there was her "Other Kids I Don't Care About" smile. It was small and mischievous, almost a smirk, really. Penny had been on the receiving end of it a few times before they'd become friends, and it stirred a certain amount of annoyance in her chest.
Ocean's real smile was rare, but so earnest and so proud. It was almost always pointed at Constance, but all of the choir had been given it at one point or another.
Ocean's laugh, on the other hand, was ugly. Penny loved it, she loved all laughs, but Ocean choked and guffawed and honked and bounced on her heels when she laughed. It was so beautifully ugly, so sincere and real, it always warmed Penny's heart. She loved that Ocean trusted them enough to let her guard down and just exist.
Noel's laugh wasn't super pretty either. He cackled like a wicked witch, head thrown back. It was wild and uncontrolled, beautiful in it's own way, just like Noel. If he was standing next to someone when he laughed, he'd grab onto their arm and press his face into their shoulder. Noel never laughed in public. Penny only saw him laugh when it was just the six of them, sitting in the choir room or one of their bedrooms. She thought he might be self conscious of it, but she quickly realized that Noel just didn't laugh like that very often and most of the best jokes came out when they were alone.
Noel's smile, on the other hand, was easy and controlled. Closed lips, always closed lips, and closed eyes too. Penny thought at first that it was a rehearsed smile, but no, that was just the way Noel smiled. He didn't smile often, but oh how Penny treasured the moments when he did. Mischa always seemed to know what to say to make Noel smile, which Penny was grateful for.
Speaking of Mischa, he easily smiled the least out of them all. He seemed to have a permanent scowl etched on his pale face and his lips rarely left the thin line he pressed them into.
Penny remembered the first time she saw him smile. It was a week before Christmas, and Constance had invited them all over for a small Christmas party (could you call it a party with only five guests?). It was his first Christmas away from Ukraine, and anyone with half a brain could see that he was homesick. Ricky had managed to get his hands on a good borsht recipe and Penny and Ocean had worked together to make it.
Mischa's smile, as it turned out, was small. His lips barely turned up, but it was so clearly a smile. His brown eyes sparkled as he sipped the beet soup and his teeth poked out from his mouth.
But if Mischa smile was rare, then his laugh was downright impossible to find.
She'd asked him about it, once, after a few too many shots, and he'd just shrugged.
He was happy, she could tell that much, because his body language was expressive, but she needed to hear him laugh.
And it finally happened one day, after a comedy of errors that ended with Noel flat on his back in the choir room with Ocean sprawled on top of him, their noses nearly touching.
"Kiss, kiss, kiss," Ricky's AAC device chanted.
Ocean had scrambled to get off of Noel, but Penny hadn't been paying attention, being Mischa was laughing.
His laugh was so unlike him, quiet and breathy. He wheezed slightly, holding his stomach as his face turned red. Penny couldn't stop staring.
Penny went home that night and printed off the photo she'd snuck, adding it to the wall where she'd collected all her friend's smiles and laughs. She examined the wall carefully and, once she was satisfied that the collection was complete, Penny Lamb beamed.