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Venom has not eaten in almost a month. Not humans, anyway.
Here’s the thing: when Venom first decided to stay with Eddie, he seemed a lot more… open, to the whole ‘biting heads off’-part of sharing a life with Venom. Bad guys, sure, but guys nonetheless. However, as it turns out, Eddie’s definition of ‘bad guys’ is extremely limited when he’s hydrated, healthy, and not sleep-deprived.
So, the guy who cut the line in the store? No. The woman who yelled insults at a homeless man? No. The man who publically dumped his girlfriend in a diner? Nope. And Venom just knows they would’ve eaten Eddie for that, had he said anything remotely similar to Venom.
(Maybe that’s not true. But they would’ve wanted to. They would’ve deserved to.)
‘He’s really shitty, for sure, okay? But he’s not bad,’ Eddie ‘explains’ at that moment in the diner. ‘He’s not harmful.’
The woman has a broken heart, Venom says back, bluntly. Seems pretty harmful to them.
Eddie disagrees. ‘Let’s just keep it at physical harm for now, okay?’
So, whatever, okay. Venom could get behind that. But then the man who stole from his boss also ‘did not deserve to be eaten,’ and neither did the boss who stole from his employees. The woman who broke into houses to steal people’s jewelry also was to remain safe from Venom’s appetite - because, as Venom dismissively gets told, thieves aren’t physically harmful either. All of this severely limits their list.
Then there is the man who hits his wife. When Venom hears the cries and witnesses an actual punch in the face through a window, they know it’s fair game. Ha! Physical harm! they yell, smug and eager, as they take over Eddie’s body.
And yet Eddie stops them again.
‘Wait, wait,’ Eddie screams, the voice coming from inside Venom with a true, panicked edge to it. Venom tries very, very hard to ignore it. They cannot.
‘What?!’
‘He’s- Look, Venom, don’t. We will traumatise that poor woman. And we don’t- we don’t know him.’
‘Physically harmful,’ Venom growls. They are hungry.
Venom knows that they could just ignore Eddie, burst through that window, and finish the job. It wouldn’t even last a full minute. They could do it. Easily.
And yet.
So the cops are called and Eddie and Venom leave to kill a chicken. And although Eddie treats him to extra tater tots and chocolate later that night, Venom is left grumpy. First of all, the police suck. Venom does not get at all why they would go through all the trouble of picking up bad people and locking them up, where they'll waste space and air and resources, when they could be good meals. What is the point?
Secondly, Venom feels betrayed. Eddie had said so, hadn’t he? They were allowed to kill bad guys. How come their host would have them go hungry for the sake of scum like that?
Eddie notices it, that night, but neither he nor Venom know where to begin.
‘Look, I’m sorry,’ Eddie says, lying in bed. Venom refuses to answer.
They sleep.
There are good days as well. Exceptions to Eddie’s harsh ruling so far include a man luring women for human trafficking, and the guy who held Eddie at gunpoint in an alley - although Eddie had the gal to be difficult about that last one, too.
‘He couldn’t have killed me, anyway,’ Eddie says as he’s walking home from the whole affair, ‘so self-defense is out of the window.’
Venom never understood why Eddie felt the need to justify the removal of bad guys. He’s physically harmful, Venom repeats. So we physically harmed him.
‘Look, it’s the way you phrase that. Do you even hear yourself?’
I have no idea what you mean.
‘We physically harm people. That makes us bad guys.’
Venom recoils just a little bit at that one. Eddie thinks they’re bad. Venom had never cared about being ‘good’ and ‘bad’ before him. Now, they were the most important words in the world - they shape Eddie’s opinion.
Venom distracts themself by wondering if part of Eddie’s hesitance is based on the fact that the man and Eddie had been making out in that alley before the gun was pulled. Eddie had not wanted to talk about it right before they went into the alley, when Venom wondered what that tingly feeling in the bottom of Eddie’s stomach was, and he definitely would never talk about it now.
‘It’s not about that,’ Eddie snaps, betraying Venom’s inability to keep all their thoughts to themself. Venom lets it rest. There is something feeling so genuinely upset and wrong within Eddie’s chest that they believe him.
They can’t help but argue, though. But we only harm bad guys. So it evens out. He harmed good guys, like you.
‘I’m not-’
He deserved it, Venom states, interrupting Eddie.
Eddie is only quiet for a moment or two before he opens his stupid mouth again. ‘But he’s not worse than that robber the other day,’ Eddie says.
So we should have eaten the robber! Venom agrees.
Wrong again. Eddie shakes his head, sighing. ‘I’m saying we should not have killed this guy either.’
I don’t get it. You say I can kill bad guys, but nobody is a bad guy.
‘Look. I’m tired. Let’s talk about it tomorrow, okay?’
And, against all expectations, for once they do. Venom had a good sleep that night; they always do after being satisfyingly full. Eddie made them eat the torso, too, just to try it. Venom had thought it was a little disgusting, but Eddie had a point. ‘So you always complain about being hungry, but now you’ve got a meal and you only take one bite?’
The torso was not very good. Venom will not eat it again. But they did sleep soundly.
‘I guess you did prevent him from robbing the next guy,’ Eddie says the next morning.
Venom can’t believe they hadn’t thought of that argument. Right! They exclaim, probably a little too enthusiastic. He couldn’t kill you, but might shoot the next one. So it is good I intervened.
‘Right,’ Eddie hums, unconvinced. He gulps the chocolate-syrup-coffee down in one go, burning his throat just a little.
But when Venom tries to eat the next robber two days later, Eddie makes them call the cops instead.
‘This is ridiculous!’ Venom complains, his big head in front of Eddie’s, when they’re back at home. ‘Cops will just lock him up. And for what?’
‘You already ate this week. You can’t kill people every day, Venom, even if they’re bad.’
‘An executioner can,’ Venom says. They watched a prison drama the night before and picked some things up. First, it is indeed a waste to put all those people in there. They serve no purpose at all and they’re not even happy in there. Delicious snacks wasted. Second, sometimes they do deserve to die. According to the law. ‘We’re like an executioner, Eddie.’
Eddie does not like that. ‘We’re not!’ he says, too fast. After a breath: ‘An executioner executes on the basis of the law and extensive research and the judgement of a lot of professionals, not the hunch of a brain-hungry maniac!’
Being called a maniac is a little hurtful, only because Venom knows Eddie associates the word with people he generally does not want in his life.
'I said: ‘like’ an executioner, ’ Venom tries, but they know it’s a weak one.
Eddie shoots him a look. ‘And besides,’ he goes on, ‘I don’t agree with the whole death sentence shit either.’
'What?!' Venom exclaims. 'So nobody deserves to die, ever?' For the first time since, well, ever, Venom questions whether he’d chosen the wrong host. This is getting out of hand. Eddie is supposed to be warming up to eating bad guys!
‘I mean. I don’t necessarily think so. I just think that it’s hard to decide or prove who deserves to die. Opinions vary.’
‘Eddie,’ Venom says, growing a little desperate, ‘you promised you would let me eat bad guys.’
‘I know,’ Eddie sighs. ‘I just. I didn’t realise it would be so hard. I don’t like playing god.’
God. Venom has heard of that guy, too. Weird man. All-powerful, all-good, yada, yada. Venom thinks that if this God-guy is the one who came up with all those good and bad judgements, he kind of deserves to be eaten, too.
‘We’re not God,’ Venom says. ‘We’re Venom.’
‘I said we play God.’
‘We don’t play. We eat.’
Eddie groans. ‘I mean, deciding who lives or dies, Vee. That’s what people call playing God.’
Venom thinks about this for just a few seconds. ‘Then only you play God. I eat.’
‘I-’ An angry splutter of protest rises up from Eddie’s throat and immediately dies down again. Venom can feel that his host is genuinely distraught by their statement, and they feel a little bad. They retreat back into Eddie and do not say anything further. But they do not understand.
So it continues. Eddie does not let them eat the convicted but escaped murderer because the cops were already ‘round the corner, and neither does he let them eat the person who punches a kid, nor the attempted rapist. In December they witness an actual murder - a man stabbing someone to death in an alley - but since they are too late to save the victim, 911 is called once again. Venom has seriously thought about throwing the damn phone away.
‘It’s just... It’s morally fucked up,’ Eddie tells Venom one evening after Venom’s been complaining about their hunger again. ‘We’re murderers. No matter who we kill. We can’t change that.’
I need brains to survive, Venom states. It is self-defense.
‘You mean self-preservation.’
Fine. Self-preservation.
‘You’d survive on chickens as well,’ Eddie argues, which makes Venom a little angry.
I AM DYING! they roar. It is not entirely true - yet. But it feels true enough. Never in their billion years of life have they had such a bad diet as chickens. Besides, it is not entirely untrue either. It is just Eddie who will be the one dying first.
Of course, Eddie just rolls his eyes. ‘You’re a drama queen, is what you are.’
But Venom won’t take it. No! You’re the drama queen. All these bad guys harm innocent people. Physical harm. But when I harm them, I am wrong?
‘Just because others do it doesn't mean you’re allowed to. We’ve been over this! We have to be better,’ Eddie preaches and Venom knows he is talking about his precious morals and ethics and whatnot again.
Venom cannot hold it in any longer. That means nothing to me! Venom admits, maybe for the first time ever. I am not better! I am not good or bad or right or wrong! I just am. And I am hungry.
Eddie is quiet.
Sometimes, Venom thinks Eddie forgets that they are not from here. Venom isn’t just a newcomer, or a ’beginner’ at being an earthling. They are alien. Fundamentally different. They do not understand humans and to some extent they never will. They do not have the capacity to learn how to inhabit the earth just like humans do - ever.
‘Maybe you’re right,’ is all Eddie says after a little while. They don’t speak for the rest of the night. (But Eddie does put on a sitcom that Venom likes but Eddie hates.)
Through the months, Venom learns Eddie has a lot of ideas about a lot of things - and most have to do with right or wrong. Venom also finds out that most of human existence is concerned with ‘doing the right thing.’ That, or money or sex or romance. Most human things are about those, actually. But a good chunk is doing the right thing.
Venom also starts to theorize about the core of Eddie’s struggles with his preferred diet. Here is what they know: eating people is bad. Eddie has tried his whole life to be good. And one cannot be good and bad at the same time.
Venom offers up this theory one morning during breakfast.
‘Yeah. Well. I mean. We can,’ Eddie mumbles over his cereal.
Hm?
‘Be good and bad. Nothing's just black and white, y’know?’
No. There are lots of colours in everything, Venom agrees, wondering what that has to do with anything.
‘Yes. Nothing is just good or just bad. Everything has good and bad aspects. It’s the distribution of those that make someone who they are.’
So Eddie is both good and bad and he has been his whole life. But being with Venom means being a little 'more bad.' Maybe even a little more bad than good. Venom starts to see his struggle.
A few mornings later, Venom has prepared a speech.
‘Listen,’ they say, soon as Eddie sits down with his morning coffee.
‘Ye,’ Eddie says non-committed, taking a sip.
‘Eating people may be bad. But you can just cut down on other bad things and we will find balance.’
Eddie takes a big gulp. ‘Good talk for the early morning,’ he mumbles. (Venom agrees. Morning means it is out of the way for the rest of the day.) ‘That’s not how it works, Vee.’
Venom holds in their annoyance like humans do all the time. They were prepared for this: Eddie does not do a lot of bad things, so maybe he could not make up for it. Venom offers another argument: ‘Making people happy is good. And eating people makes us happy. So it is both good and bad. And,’ they continue, ‘ eating people who hurt other people does not just make us happy. It makes everybody happy. Because these people do not hurt others anymore.’
‘Except us,’ Eddie says. ‘We hurt others.’
‘Yes. But we do it quickly,’ Venom replies and they immediately sense that was not the right thing to say. They think for a moment. ‘We will be very happy to make up for that,’ Venom tries. Still not right. One last attempt: ‘We are only one. They are with many.’
Eddie sighs and puts his coffee down. ‘Look, Vee,’ he says, tone a little more serious now. ‘I’ve thought about it, okay, and you’re right. You’re not like me… or anybody else. Maybe I shouldn’t expect you to be.’ He sighs. ‘But I’m not like you, okay? And I’m not- I can’t suddenly drop my morals either.’
Because, of course, after finding the one perfect match on this weird planet, the thing getting in their way of survival would be morals .
They sense that Eddie feels their frustration, because he backs off. ‘We’ll- we’ll think about it, okay?’ Eddie says, and Venom humms a little from inside. And until then, it is chicken and chocolate. (Sometimes tater tots. They’re not actually as nutritious as Venom has tried to make Eddie believe, which has Eddie vetoing those more often.) Fine.
Even though it’s not fine.
Venom feels themself getting weaker. The first few days it’s just an ache of hunger, and the temptation to whine is just that - whining. But after a while it does become more than that. Venom has known real hunger over the course of their life and they know how it starts. They know how it feels as they grow just a little weaker and weaker over time.
It’s nothing drastic now. It takes about a full three months of this before they will start to consume parts of the host. They decide not to tell Eddie - yet.
They watch the news and see talk of murderers and rapists and accidents and pain. There are strong emotions in Eddie when they watch it - all of them negative.
To take a breather, they also watch dumb-action movies during which Venom tells Eddie in detail how they would have taken care of the bad guy and Eddie laughs. Or they watch rom-coms, which Venom feels bore Eddie but actually touch Venom so deeply that they often retreat to a little deeper within, quiet.
Eddie teaches them chess and they play it exactly once and never again, because Eddie called losing to Venom ‘the worst experience of my fucking life,’ and Venom tries to make him feel better by admitting that they, in fact, did not like chess that much anyway.
They play cards more often. Venom cheats. Eddie allows it.
They play Uno - which is ‘the same as cards,’ according to Eddie, but actually it’s more fun - and Jenga, which Venom hates even though they can be pretty good at it if they concentrate.
Eddie laughs a lot during these moments. Venom, who had never laughed before in their life, tries it, too, which makes Eddie laugh even harder. Venom assumes this is supposed to be insulting, but it is worth it. They find that laughing is kind of fun once it is not forced. It distracts him from the hunger. It makes hunger seem like no problem at all.
Venom thinks that life might actually be all about this - just this. Fun. Laughing. And, maybe, not being hungry.
‘Humans, too,’ Eddie says. ‘It’s not about the money or sex or whatever. It’s just about what makes us happy. And what helps us survive.’
And doing ‘the right thing’, Venom says.
‘And doing the right thing.’
When they watch the news, Venom learns that most of the people on it are bad. Even accidents are bad. Eddie desperately, desperately wants not to be bad. Venom wonders if they can carry it - if they can feed and carry the ‘bad’ alone and excuse Eddie from it.
(They can’t, of course. Because Venom and Eddie are never ‘Venom’ and ‘Eddie’ and always ‘Venom and Eddie.’)
So Venom grows a little more hungry over time. Eddie is still thinking, or whatever. They play games and Venom wonders if being hungry is worth the happiness - because maybe it is. Until the three months are up, of course. Which is when they’ll tell Eddie. But not yet.
They notice it when Eddie starts to shift a little.
Maybe it is because ‘Venom and Eddie’ means that not only Venom now has to adhere to human values, but Eddie has to adapt to alien needs. So maybe they’re both a little bad. But they’re both a little alien, too.
In the end they never have to tell Eddie.
It is two months after the first time when they come across this particular part of San Francisco again. Eddie doesn’t notice, but Venom manifests his head just to look around the corner and peek through a window.
They see husband and wife at the dinner table. They look alright - just like two typical people having a quiet dinner. But Venom knows where to look: they spot the bruises that peek above the line of the woman’s top, and the whiteness of her knuckles as she clenches her fists under the table. The man reaches for the salt and the woman flinches, the way Eddie flinched when men came blazing into their apartment, guns drawn. Venom has learned a lot about humans and their feelings through Eddie. They can guess how this woman is feeling.
They knew the cops wouldn’t really achieve anything that first time. They knew this because Eddie knew that - and Venom knows what Eddie knows.
Venom retreats back into his host.
Eddie, they say, quietly.
‘Hm?’
Around the corner. The man and the woman. Do you remember?
Venom feels Eddie taking a shuddering breath. He looks but barely needs to - the memory of it haunts him. Eddie says, ‘Yeah.’
She is scared.
They can feel Eddie struggle with this, the way he did the first time Venom wanted to jump through that window and rip that man’s head clean off. But it's different this time. Eddie is working really hard to make peace with who he- who they are, now.
And he makes a decision.
‘Make sure she’s not there,’ Eddie says.
That, they can do.