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The sun broke over the horizon streaking gold across the pale sky, Kuramochi had been waiting half an hour for this. He held his phone, capturing the rising sun with the tap of his thumb. Smile only broken by the tip of his tongue.
He sent the picture straight to Miyuki, not sparing a thought for the other. Half five in the morning, Miyuki would most definitely be asleep but Kuramochi couldn't wait to share this with him.
Over the past six months, his phone had become a semi-permanent attachment to his hand. Held like a lifeline between him and Miyuki.
-
Six months ago, Kuramochi graduated high school and he had only reached out to one person.
Only one person would think of not keeping in contact.
"Eh, Miyuki," he said, pulling the other aside by the elbow.
"Sneaking me away Kura," Miyuki said smirking.
"Ya know, you're the biggest pain in the ass, the most irritating person I've ever met, underhand and condescending-"
"There's a but coming right?" Miyuki said, brow arched.
"But," Kuramochi said, hand braced beside Miyuki's head on the wall. "You're my friend and I actually care about you and I won't let you slip off into the ether, you got that?" He tilted his head down, eyes hooded.
Miyuki nodded, brows furrowed in confusion but he nodded and Kuramochi took that as an agreement.
-
Kuramochi had spent nights where he couldn't sleep texting Miyuki. Spent lazy afternoons, a moment before he stepped into the shower, just before he put his phone in his locker, he was surprised by his commitment.
What surprised him even more was Miyuki's commitment, whenever Kuramochi put his phone down there was sure to be something waiting for him when he came back to it.
At first he just sent Miyuki pictures of people falling asleep on public transport, random dogs doing funny things, just things that made him smile.
Miyuki sent him countless selfies, face as pretty as ever with the assurance that they would put a smile on Kuramochi's face too.
Something for the wank bank, Youichi x~
Just another selfie and Kuramochi couldn't keep the stupid smile off of his face.
This small thing, delicate but vibrant, grew slowly and then suddenly, like daffodils in spring. Images of Miyuki's face turned into homemade meals that made Kuramochi's mouth water, brilliantly blue and purple sunsets and Kuramochi could just imagine Miyuki on his way home from practice, sweat cooling on his skin in the night air.
Kuramochi began to hit the roof of every building he was capable of, sharing views with Miyuki that he wanted to share in person.
He permanently scarred his skin, ink crawled down his shoulder blade. He shared that with Miyuki when he shared it with no one else.
-
Two years down the line and it had become routine, just anything part in the haphazardly made machine that was Kuramochi's life.
The buzz of his phone roused him from slumber, deep and cloying. Kuramochi yawned as he slid his hand under the pillow.
Rise and shine, sunshine.
Kuramochi's teeth shone in the light from his phone, bared from the smile that spread across his face.
People would ask him if he had a girlfriend, wondering who he was constantly texting, wondering who that dumb smile was for. Kuramochi spoke of Miyuki as though the other were his penpal, he didn't fool anyone as his phone chirped in his hand and that smile found his face again.
Ah, which would look good on your bedroom floor?
Two shirts, both with patterns loud enough to make Kuramochi sick.
They'd look better in the trash. He sent back, appropriate picture of his trashcan attached.
Flirting that was actually banter that was actually flirting.
Maybe Miyuki meant more to him than he'd ever say, but they were miles and miles away from each other so there really was no use in thinking about it too much.
Someone asked who was spamming me, you.
It was late into the evening, Kuramochi was sat against the wall staring out the window and thinking about Miyuki as the sun set.
So what did you say?
Oh, wait I bet you lied.
If you said that I'm a playboy or whatever, I swear to god Kaz I will kick your ass to Italy.
Nerves buzzed like static electricity, he waited for the answer wondering if Miyuki was staring up at the same sky he was. Heart hammering away in his chest like a woodpecker, why was it even important.
Yes, of course I lied~~
I said that you weren't anyone important.
Kuramochi's heat stopped, he dropped the phone into his lap, and then it picked up double time. He wanted to jump into his running shoes, slam the door behind him and run full pelt to wherever Miyuki was.
You're the worst.
Was all he could send back, starry sky captured and sent with his sharp words that belied how soft he had gotten on the other.
-
He began to send Miyuki pastel skies and deep blue nights, words of no importance.
Miyuki sent back early morning streets and lonely lamp posts in the night.
Draped in a blanket and bathed in the light from the television, room dark. His phone buzzed, but this time it was someone calling him.
He answered without looking to see who it was.
"Hello?"
"Hi," Miyuki's voice came from the speaker and Kuramochi realised just how long it had been since he'd actually heard the other speak instead of just the imaginings of that voice.
"K-kaz, what's up?" Kuramochi stammered, mouth going dry from the sleepy coarseness of Miyuki's voice.
"I wanted to hear your voice," honesty shot like the most accurate arrow fired in history, aimed straight for Kuramochi's heart. "It's gotten a little lower," easy smirk evident in that tone.
"Right," Kuramochi couldn't think of anything to say, blood rushing through his body drowned out his conscious thoughts.
"What you doing?" Miyuki asked, speech lazy.
"Oh ya know, sitting in a dark room with the tv on having an existential crisis," Kuramochi muttered, sinking down into the couch as he spoke. "What about you?"
"Same," Miyuki said sharply. Kuramochi snorted.
"What does Mr. Pretty boy scholarship have to worry about?"
"You know me better than that Kura," Miyuki said, tutting.
"Yeah, but I thought that maybe you might have grown up a little bit," Kuramochi threw back, nostalgia hung thick in the air taking him straight back to the classroom where he used to strangle Miyuki using the other's tie.
"Nah, that doesn't really sound like me does it?" Miyuki said.
"Well, I can hope," Kuramochi shrugged to himself.
Silence drew out and the only thing Kuramochi could hear was Miyuki's steady breathing, like a lullaby it was sending him to sleep.
"I've missed you," Miyuki said with struggle, words sounding chewed out.
Kuramochi struggled to breathe, windpipe knotted from the weight of the statement.
"Uh, yeah me too," he said still stunned.
"Have you stayed in contact like this with anyone else?" Miyuki asked.
"Um, well I still message Wakana sometimes, Ryo-san sends me really sick jokes and Sawamura practically sends me his diary at the end of every month," Kuramochi chuckled fondly at the thought of it and then stopped himself. "I bet you've just fallen off the map for a lot of people, right Kaz?"
"Whatever, but I bet you don't message them at four in the morning to tell them about a crow that flew into your apartment," Miyuki said with entitlement, completely ignoring Kuramochi's statement.
"What are ya getting at?" Kuramochi said, lip curling upward and brows coming together.
"I'm special to you," Miyuki said, as though it were written in the sky. And in a way, Kuramochi supposed that it was.
"Jeez, you're such a prick," Kuramochi said, but despite his words he couldn't keep a smile from spreading across his face.
"That's all I wanted to know," smile clear through the shitty speakers.
"You're such a-"
Miyuki hung up, Kuramochi started at his phone for a moment in indignation before flopping down on the couch.
"You're such a fuckboy," Kuramochi spat at the ceiling.
-
Another three years from then, relationships like fireworks that sparked and died out before he could really get the form of the person.
The only constant in Kuramochi's life was the message alert tone of his phone. The damned thing had actually become his lifeline.
Waning in the summer heat, countryside as loud as ever. Kuramochi was running along the empty morning road, asphalt already hot enough to feel the warmth through his running shoes.
There was a loud clatter and something that sounded dangerously close to smashing, Kuramochi stopped. His phone had slid out into the middle of the road, he stood there blinking at it for a moment. He hadn't zipped his pocket back up when he'd stopped to message Miyuki earlier, he swallowed thickly before he took a step forward and immediately stepped backward as a car rushed by. The crunch made him wince, hands fisted at his sides.
He ran over to it as the car passed, picked up the bits and held them in his palms. The memory card had survived, but the phone as a whole was a goner. Kuramochi released a frustrated cry and jumped on the spot, he couldn't afford a new phone, not until the end of the month and that was two weeks away.
What the fuck would he do?
His eyes stung and he ran home, mouth bitter with the taste of battery acid and his lungs ran on fumes.
Over the course of the day, something slowly dawned on him. Something he already knew, but faced with the reality of it he felt it anew.
Kuramochi always kept his phone on him, always remembered to charge it and always paid that bill on time.
He had nothing to do all day without his phone, felt far too light without its weight. When something remotely interesting happened or he was struck by some sort of emotion, it was Miyuki he wanted to share it with.
The little thing that had grown between hadn't stopped growing, even if they weren't paying attention to it. And now it towered over him, took up his entire view. The most important relationship he'd ever had was long distance, he hadn't even seen the other at all in the past five years.
It wasn't right and it wasn't healthy, Kuramochi knew that but he didn't know what else to do. Miyuki was like a thoroughbred horse, breathtakingly beautiful and dangerously easily spooked. He had no idea how he'd approach it, had no idea how to even have any other kind of relationship. Miyuki had ruined him and he knew it, but what was he supposed to do.
The days grew long and bleak, he counted down, the days marked on his calendar. One week down and another to go, he was infinitely frustrated with himself. The sun was barely over the horizon and Kuramochi couldn't sit still, running through the streets he took the longest and most roundabout way to loop back round to his home.
There was a car he didn't recognise parked outside his row of apartments when he returned, a man was sat on the wall in front of it.
A man no longer a boy, still taller than him, Miyuki stood.
"You've been avoiding me," Miyuki accused, it was just about the dumbest thing that mouth had ever said. Voice silkier than Kuramochi remembered.
The snide remark died before it was realised.
Kuramochi couldn't speak, couldn't think, just couldn't.
His body had other ideas though, he found himself in front of the other fingers caught in the front of that fucking ugly floral shirt. Greens of a rainforest and pink flowers. Kuramochi didn't care if it tore from the way he yanked Miyuki down into a bruising kiss that left his jaw aching when he pulled away.
"You're the worst thing that ever happened to me Kazuya," Kuramochi said, deep chestnut charred from the way he yearned for Miyuki, "but I wouldn't have it any other way."
He'd rather burn with the other, skin peeling away like Miyuki's shirt on Kuramochi's bedroom floor, than turn away from this, this tree that had grown roots that snaked so deep inside him he was sure it'd kill him if it were ever uprooted.