Chapter Text
It all started when in a tree cottage, there lived Giselle, who was the demigoddess daughter of Demeter, the Greek Goddess of the Harvest. She was building a statue of a man she dreamed of, her True Love. Then she sang about True Love’s Kiss with her forest animal friends when she was suddenly attacked by Nesso!
“Help!” Giselle cried out as she tried to escape.
“Not so fast, Sweetheart!” Nesso sneered in a sinister way. But then, suddenly, a handsome hero named Hercules who was the son of Zeus arrived!
“Fear not, Miss, I’m here!” Hercules said. Giselle giggled as she bashfully tucked her hair behind her ear. After Hercules defeated Nesso, he went over to check on Giselle.
“Uh, are you alright miss—” Hercules froze as this was the very first time they laid eyes on each other.
“Oh my gosh! It’s you!” Giselle said as she was love-struck.
“Uhh…yes, it’s me. Hercules! I-I mean, erm, I’m Hercules. And you are?”
“Giselle.” She said shyly.
“Would you like to see my palace?” Hercules asked.
“Yes, of course!” She replied.
Hercules whistles for Pegasus as his faithful winged horse flew down from the heavens and landed in front of them! Hercules helped Giselle up onto Pegasus and after he climbed on himself, they took off! First, they stopped by a restaurant by the bay called Tavérna o Nikos where they ordered and ate gyros with lemon potatoes and a slice of pickle as sides. Next after they ate, they traveled to the amphitheater where they watched a play performed called Oedipus Rex. Finally, they fly into the sunset where Hercules took Giselle to his palace.
---
Megara wanted to run, but her legs felt like jelly. No! She can’t run from this! She’s a grown ass woman! Megara had allowed men to just walk all over her like she was dirt! But, she’d thought he was different - had insisted on it! This couldn’t be happening right now! Maybe she should confront Hercules? Megara numbly walked towards the palace, every step felt like an impending doom. Dread fills her stomach. Megara kept walking up the palace steps until she reached the door. Here it is. The moment of truth. On one hand, Megara opens the doors and it’s probably just Herc being friendly. Hercules saves people on a daily basis. On the other…her worst fears were confirmed.
Megara took a deep breath and pushed open the doors to see the two passionately kissing. And it wasn’t just a sweet innocent kiss either. Megara watched closely as she realized that they were fucking using their tongues! Finally, Megara couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to address this. So, she cleared her throat.
“Heroic deeds going well, Herc?!”
Like a fire had started between them, Hercules jolted away from the red-haired woman that he had been kissing and pulled his hand back from where it had been hiking up her skirt. “M-Meg!” He stammered, getting up. “Uh, welcome back! This, uh…this is Giselle.”
“Hi!” She said, waving cheerfully, like she had no idea what she had been doing.
Maybe she hadn’t, Megara considered. The girl looked like she had the mind of a child, which made Hercules’ interest in her even worse. But, maybe it was just those pretty, blue eyes that made her appear younger than she was. Either way, she wasn’t the one Megara was focused on right now.
“So she’s, what? A friend of yours?” Megara said with a hint of fury in her voice. “Because, by the looks of it, it seems you’re getting real friendly! So, let’s stop beating around the bush and cut to the chase…am I not good enough for you?!”
“Meg, look, you’re nice and everything but–”
“Wait,” Giselle looked confused, “do you already have a true love?”
“Are you fucking kidding?! My supposed 'true love' is smooching with a forest bitch?!” Megara glared at Hercules.
“Uhm, okay, I don’t know what that means, but I know it didn’t sound very nice.” Giselle frowned.
“Giselle, uh…can we have the room for a bit?” Hercules looked at her.
“Okay!” She got up and walked out. Megara kept glaring at Hercules.
“It’s one thing to know Zeus goes around putting his dick in women, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if I see him in a whorehouse! But–”
“Wait, my dad does what?” Hercules asked, as dense as ever.
“But it’s another that you’re picking up your dad’s habits! Like father, like son!” Megara replied, still bitter. “And do you know what’s worse?! Before, Hades warned me about history repeating itself! I told him he was wrong about you! But now…oh he would be wearing that Zeusdamn smug smirk on his face to finally see how right he was!”
Hercules ran his hand through his hair. “Meg, I…I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t even know how that happened, we were just talking and then…Gods, she is just so beautiful, and…but the one I love is you, Meg!” He walked towards her, reaching out a hand that she had taken so many times before, hoping she would take it now.
But, Megara didn’t take it this time.
“FUCK YOU!!” Megara yelled as she turned to run out of the palace. Megara ignored her name being called as she ran like her life depended on it.
“Meg, come back!” Hercules called, his voice a fading echo in the distance. “Meg!”
---
Megara didn’t know how she got there or why, but she somehow ended up at Hades’ current place of residence - the ever-warned-about House of Villains. She hugged herself and sighed as she sat on the steps leading up to the door. “What am I doing?” She muttered as rain started to fall on her.
Before she could answer herself, the door opened behind her and a high voice spoke. “And don’t forget to–oh!” She glanced up and saw the black and white vision of ugliness, Cruella DeVille. “Aren’t you at the wrong House?” She asked, blowing a smoke ring at her.
“Fuck off, bitch! I’m having the worst day ever!” Megara yelled up at Cruella, tears going down her face.
Cruella clicked her tongue at her. “How…unusually crass for someone from the Mouse’s side.” She remarked. “You must be having a bad day. Well, don’t just sit there in the rain, darling.” She opened the door wider. “Come in and get yourself something warm. I have some spare furs you can borrow.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’d rather not wear a dead animal. I’d rather die from pneumonia by sitting in the rain. Thank you very much!” Megara said as she continued to pout and cry.
Cruella looked at her silently, then sighed and went back inside, closing the door. Megara wept in silence for a few more minutes, and then the door was opening and the rain was blocked from hitting her as strong arms lifted her up and held her against a broad chest. Before she could even process what was happening, she was being carried inside by none other than Gaston, with Cruella using an umbrella to keep the rain off her until she was inside. Then she was carried over and set down on a couch next to…Hades?!
“Mind drying her off before putting her there? She’ll put my hair out.” Hades said, not looking up from his book.
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! Am I in Tartarus?! I didn’t die that quickly!” Megara was starting to freak out. There was no way she was actually here, surrounded by Villains, sitting next to Hades!
“Didn’t the Mouse pass a law that made it illegal to swear?” Hades looked at her. “Why are you here anyway, nutmeg?”
“Oh, FUCK OFF! I don’t need to hear an ‘I told you so, Nutmeg’! Yeah, I’m pissed, I’m freezing to death, I'd like to be left alone in my self-pity in peace if you don’t mind?!” She snapped, glaring at him.
Hades stared at her, then sighed and closed his book, setting it down. “Is this about Hercules?”
“What the fuck you think I was talking–”
“Swear at me one more time and I will not only not talk to you but I will hand you off to be tied up and thrown in some dungeon cell.” Hades raised an eyebrow. “I may be a ‘Villain’, but I'm still a God. Show me some respect.”
Megara rolled her eyes. “Oh, your High Dreadfulness, please forgive me for my potty mouth.”
Hades was about to reply, but Megara’s vision was suddenly filled with colorful cloth. “It’s not dead animals. It’s cotton, and Gothel says she wants it back once your clothes are dry.” Cruella said from somewhere behind her.
“I look like a 80’s lady trying to be hip like a 30’s mom!” Megara protested.
“Coming from the one wearing a toga from a much longer time ago than myself?” Another voice said, and she pulled the dress off her face to see Gothel standing behind her with Cruella. “This is far more modern.”
“Well, at least it’s silk. You didn’t get this from a corpse, did you?” Megara asked Gothel.
“Yes, mine.” Gothel deadpanned. “And it’s not silk, it’s cotton. Now, are you going to freeze yourself back to the Underworld, or are you going to use that hot bath I started for you?”
“You people have a bathroom?!” Megara asked.
Cruella laughed. “Oh, the things you ‘Good’ people believe about us! Yes, we have a bathroom here, and other facilities! Many of us are rich, darling!”
“And the ones that aren’t, get what they want anyway.” Hades smirked.
Gothel was looking at Megara impatiently, her arms crossed over her chest. Megara sighed as she swallowed her pride and politely asked,
“Where’s the bathroom?”
---
Washed, dried, hair restyled by Gothel and dressed in 1840s finest, Megara returned to the living room where Hades was back to reading his book. He noticed her come in and closed the book again. “Feel better? Feel less like swearing my ear off and talking to me like a civilized person? Because, if you gotta vent, you can vent. Especially if it’s about Hercules.”
“I just have one question…why are you just being nice? Aren’t you gonna rub salt in my wounds? Say 'I told you so!'? Because I know that you’re just dying for me to say it out loud!” Megara explained, waiting for a response of any kind at this point.
"Nutmeg, I have no idea what happened yet." Hades raised an eyebrow. "No rumors have reached us here and Hermes hasn't come by with his weekly brag about what's going on in Olympus yet. So, why don't you tell me why I'd be saying 'I told you so', and then I might say it?"
“Well…as you'd have probably guessed it…it’s about Hercules. It turns out that he dumped me for this Forest Bitch. Her name’s Giselle, sound familiar?” Megara explained.
Hades sat up straighter. "Giselle? Giselle that lives in a forest, Giselle? Giselle that has no company but animals to keep her pure, Giselle? Demeter's youngest, very innocent, very pure and very naïve virgin daughter, Giselle? THAT Giselle?"
"Oh, geez…" Gothel groaned.
“No, a Giselle that’s blonde. OF COURSE, HER!!! And when I first confronted them, she was in the process of being no longer a pure, innocent virgin!” Megara replied.
Hades looked at her, then at Gothel. "Demeter's gonna kill him."
"Demeter's gonna kill him." Gothel agreed.
“And Zeus will throw a fit!” Megara said. “So, I’ve got no other place to go, and I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like crying and throwing up.”
"Well, not on the carpet, darling!" Cruella protested.
Hades sighed and wrapped his arm around Meg's shoulders. "Look, I'm not gonna say 'I told you so', because clearly I've already been doing that in your head for hours now and I don't like living up to others' expectations of me." He poked her forehead with his free hand. "But, let me just tell you that you really shouldn't dwell on this. Yeah, he proved he's a jerk with all the usual working parts of other young men his age, but he didn't consider the consequences of his actions and, well, me? I'm getting the popcorn. Buttered or unbuttered?"
“Oh, let me guess, so you can watch Demeter tear Herc a new one! …Buttered please?” Megara replied, awkwardly glad that Hades is actually on her side. But not just Hades, so are the other villains. Wait! Does that mean that she’s one of them now?
“I have a question…am I…one of you guys now?”
"Well, you clearly don't mentally consider yourself one of the 'Princess Troupe', since you came to me for comfort and not them." Hades chuckled.
"If you truly feel you have nowhere else to go, we won't turn you away. We may be 'Villains', but we aren't completely void of empathy." Gothel sat down next to Meg.
"Yes, darling!" Cruella sat next to Gothel. "I admit, I can seem a bit–"
"Unhinged?" Hades commented.
"–selfish," Cruella continued, "but, I often helped dear Anita when she was going through tough times, until she married that man and decided that my opinion wasn't enough for her and cut me out of her life."
"She cut you out because you stole her dogs." Hades interrupted again.
"Megara, take it from me, men like Hercules aren't worth crying over." Gothel said gently, reaching up to run her hand through Megara's ponytail soothingly. "And there are so many others out there, both on the 'good' and 'bad' sides and even some in the neutral zone like you. Yes, you are neutral, Megara. You are neither 'good' nor 'bad', you're just a human. And, right now you are a scorned woman, but you can heal from this. As for the war that your ex just started by putting his hands in the wrong garden? Well," she chuckled, "that's not really your concern, but if you want to stand by Hera in the name of other scorned women, that's your choice."
“...Hades, can you please make extra buttered popcorn, so I can watch both Hera and Demeter tear that Wonder Breath a brand new one?” Megara asked. “And one more thing, I don’t want to work for you, Hades. But, if you let me stay until I get back on my feet, I can do a little bit.”
"Never said you had to work for me to stay here, though Gothel might want you to help with the cleaning." He glanced at her.
"Not until she's overcome her grief of her relationship." Gothel rolled her eyes. "Who do I look like, Lady Tremaine?"
Megara quietly smirked, glad that in a way, the villains are not completely heartless. Sure, they’re arrogant, selfish, and the list goes on. But Megara never expected them to ease and comfort her. How ironic, the less judgmental people that have sharp teeth and fire for hair, while the most judgmental people are the ones you go to church with on Sundays.
Speaking of fire for hair, was that cooked meat she was smelling? The others noticed it too and looked up to see Gaston nonchalantly cooking a sausage with Hades' fire hair.
"Excuse me?" Hades asked, offended.
"Oh, don't mind me, I'm almost done." Gaston assured him, then moved the sausage and took a bite. "The grill's in use." He said with a mouthful of food.
"Do me a favor," Gothel said quietly to Megara, "don't go hooking that fish."
"Ah, I know all about scorned love!" Gaston said, jumping over the couch and sitting next to Hades.
"Who invited you?" Hades asked.
"Did you know, Meg, I was left at the altar?" Gaston said, ignoring Hades entirely.
"Seriously, no one asked for you to chime in." Hades pushed at his side.
"I was all dressed up, the band was ready, I went to see her to make sure she was ready and…she rejected me and threw me in the mud." Gaston sighed dejectedly. "Love is a tricky thing."
“...Uh, excuse me, but I don’t blame her! Seriously! You just thought that you'd set up a big ass wedding before you ever proposed to her?!” Megara said to Gaston.
His face fell a bit. "Ah. I see you already heard this story from Belle."
Gothel and Cruella laughed. "Men like you, Gaston, are why I never married." Gothel smirked. Megara also burst out laughing because it’s so true!
"There's scorned love, and then there's…well, a rejected, unwanted advance!" Cruella said, cackling.
Gaston frowned.
"Look, if we want advice on how not to get someone to fall in love with you, we'll call you." Hades patted his cheek. "For now, go practice your lines in front of a mirror."
“Yeah, see ya, dumbass!” Megara said.
Gaston sighed heavily and got up, leaving them alone. Hades sighed and looked at Megara. "Now that the toxic masculinity has left the vicinity, do you need a distraction? Because I doubt much is going to happen until Olympus gets word of this and if Herc is anything like his dad, well, he's gonna try to hide his relationship from his mom."
“Depends on your definition of distraction, Hades?” Megara replied, folding her arms and raising an eyebrow.
"We got movies, board games, or video games. Or, if that's not your interest, we can go out drinking." Hades suggested.
“Hmm, drinking, what’s the cons? One, I get drunk off my ass and do something embarrassing or worse, become desperate. On the other hand, I’m not a gaming person but I don’t know if I can stand watching romcom movies.” Megara replied. “Oh well, leave me alone to die from self pity in the corner!”
"Romcom? Who said anything about romcom?" Hades raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, what kind of movies do you big, bad, villains watch then?” Megara asked. “Scary movies like Gaston’s attempted wedding video?”
"Hah! Nah, we usually watch documentaries. They can be very enthralling at times.” Hades grinned. "But, hey, if you want us to dig up a video of his wedding…"
"It doesn't exist." Gothel rolled her eyes.
“I was just being sarcastic!” Megara raised her voice a bit. “Okay, documentaries. I can handle that.”
“Great! Do you want to watch the one about lions? That one always pisses Scar off.” Hades laughed.
“Please do. He got lion fur all over my coats.” Cruella frowned. “I threatened to skin him and make him my next one if he did it again.”
Megara replied. “Thanks guys.”
Hades got up and went to get the remote to turn on the documentary. “So, how long do you want to wait before you get back into the dating scene?” He asked as he pushed buttons to find the documentary on the streaming channel.
“Excuse me, but, what the heck?! What part of ‘men suck’ didn’t you understand?!” Megara said as she jerked her head towards Hades to look at him. “I just got out of state and you’re asking if the Government is calling me back and sitting in the chair again?!”
“Geez, Meg, it was just a question.” He raised an eyebrow. “Some women wait a week up or to a few years before they start dating again. And your dating options aren’t limited to men, you know.”
“Why are you so interested in my love life all of a sudden?! Before, all you cared about was Cosmos Domination! And you’re asking if I should get back into dating between a few weeks to a few years?! I don’t know what to do with my life at this point.”
“He’s asking because there’s a speed-dating event coming up that I am going to be going to.” Gothel said calmly. “He thought you might be interested, that’s all. If you would rather wait, then that’s fine too.”
“Um, no offense, Gothel but…who in their right mind would think about dating you? Just asking.” Megara replied.
Gothel chuckled a bit. “Well, despite what Rapunzel has most likely told you, I have actually been on many dates, and even taken some charming young men to bed with me.”
“At one time?!” Cruella asked in disbelief.
“...No.” Gothel looked at her. “One at a time.”
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure that those men were convinced that you’re an immortal goddess and not a desperate witch trying not to lose to old age.” Megara replied.
“What I am doesn’t really matter to them, I am what the boys call a ‘milf’.” Gothel said calmly, and Hades burst out laughing.
“More like a gilf.” Megara muttered as she rolled her eyes and then watched the lion documentary.
“So, are you coming with me to it or are you going to mope over the man that dumped you for the rest of your mortal life?” Gothel asked.
Megara sighs, “You’re gonna guilt-trip me until I say 'yes', aren't you? Fine! But don’t expect me to fall at first sight! I need some Greek frozen yogurt or ice cream, so I can eat my feelings!” Megara replied.
“I’m not expecting you to. In fact, you don’t even have to fall in love at all. I certainly don’t!” Gothel laughed.
“So, you just sleep with a bunch of dudes that want to bang someone old enough to be their mothers or grandmothers?” Megara asked.
“They call attractive, older women like myself ‘cougars’.” Gothel chuckled.
“Fine, whatever! Where’s the kitchen so I can start shoving calories down my throat?” Megara asked.
“If you’re looking for calories, you won’t find it there.” Cruella stood up. “Why don’t we go shopping, darling? It will ease your stress and distract you. My treat.”
“Okay, fine!” Megara said as she got up. “Shall we then?”
“Gothel, are you coming along?” Cruella asked.
“No, I’m alright.” Gothel assured her. “Have fun, dear.”
Hades looked up at Meg. “You have fun, okay? But, don’t let Wonder Breath ruin your life, or your fantastic figure.”
Megara looks at Hades, “Uh, yeah, thanks.” She’s still not used to this side of him. But then again, this side is rare.