Chapter Text
“Mu-deok, you have to come, we haven’t seen you nearly enough since you moved away,” Park Dang-gu pleaded.
“You know snow isn’t my thing,” Mu-deok rolled her eyes.
“Seo Yul has been planning this trip to Muju Deogyusan Resort forever and he already paid. It’s non-refundable for this condo, and please, oh, we would have so much fun,” Dang-gu clasped his hands in front of him, “The lodge has a fireplace.”
As if that was really going to seal the deal.
Mu-deok sighed, she knew she was end up going. What was the point of arguing anymore anyway?
“What time are you leaving?” Mu-deok asked at last, squinting against what was coming.
Dang-gu clapped his hands and beamed. “Thursday at eight AM sharp!” He declared.
“So early...can’t we at least sleep in?” Mu-deok groaned, already regretting everything.
“No, we want to get there early! You’re going to love the condo, the pictures look amazing!” Dang-gu gushed.
Mu-deok couldn’t help laughing at his exuberance, “Ok, but I’m not going to ski, okay?” She was recovering from a bad flu and didn’t feel up to that level of physical activity.
“That’s fine, that’s fine, that’s fine.” Dang-gu inhaled, “You’re coming!”
Thursday
Mu-deok climbed into the SUV and tossed her duffle bag into the space behind her. Go Won held a coffee cup her way, “Coffee?’’
“You got me coffee? Thanks, I actually was going to try to sleep while we drive but I’ll have it after, ok?” She took the cup with a smile.
“I had them sprinkle cinnamon on top,” Won said.
“It sounds like you ordered it for you?” Mu-deok asked, suddenly skeptical.
“They…may have accidentally made an extra one,” he shrugged.
Well that explained why he was being so nice. She took a sip, yeah, it was loaded with cinnamon. She watched him from across the car. She hadn’t seen much of him since leaving Songrim aside from the big events. Mu-deok and Won had exchanged polite words there, bickered a little bit, but they hadn’t spoken very much.
Mu-deok had always been afraid he had taken it hard when she left the company. Mu-deok knew she had left them in a lurch.
Mu-deok shivered, more from memories than the cool air. When Jang Uk left the company, to work with a different boss, he left a big hole. Not just in work left undone, but in the morale. Everyone felt it.
It was different for Mu-deok though.
She’d officially been his intern, but they both knew she had just as much potential as he did, but she wasn’t related to anybody like he was. And then things got…complicated between them.
Even though a year had passed since she last saw Jang Uk, she still felt his loss as keenly as the day he left. She knew he was frustrated with the company and workin Park Jin wasn’t easy for him. When Uk had that fight with Park Jin, it was the worst thing Mu-deok had ever seen. And then he walked out.
She’d followed him into the parking lot and tried to talk to him. But she could tell he felt betrayed.
Then he was gone.
Mu-deok didn’t call him, she didn’t even text. Her pride wouldn’t allow it. He was the one in the wrong. Besides, he was the one who’d left.
But weeks went by, and then months. Nobody thought to ask Mu-deok how she was handling Uk leaving because no one had ever really known about their relationship. It wasn’t really a relationship that was supposed to happen. The company policy wasn’t explicit about dating co-workers, but it would have been frowned upon, for sure.
So after he left, eventually, Mu-deok packed up everything that reminded her of him away into a box and shoved it into the back of her closet. She never opened it again.
“It’s not that early. Why is everyone so grumpy?” Dang-gu said from the passenger seat.
Won shrugged.
“It’s early when you stay up finishing bank recs until three in the morning,” Mu-deok responded with a heavy sigh, fluffing her coat into a pillow.
“What? Why were you doing that? I thought you were out of the bookkeeping gig when you quit working at Songrim Group,” Seo Yul asked.
“Yeah, me too, but the staff accountants keep transposing numbers and it creates this huge mess. They can’t see it or can’t find it and it’s this whole thing and it still has to get done either way,” Mu-deok rubbed her forehead, “I just need to sleep a little bit and then I’ll be good to go.” She shoved the coat against the door of the car as Won was pulling onto the highway and closed her eyes.
The motion of the car coming to a stop when they arrived slid Mu-deok’s head off her makeshift pillow. She woke with a start. She took a deep breath and reached for the coffee, now cold, willing the caffeine to kick in. She grimaced at the cinnamon but chugged it anyway.
Mu-deok hoisted her bag onto her shoulder. The cold air seemed to blow right through her coat. She inwardly cursed the moment she had agreed to leave home for this ridiculously cold place but then she saw Dang-gu and Seo Yul and they were so happy. It was the right thing to do, she smiled inwardly.
They all followed Won into the condo.
“Look at this place, it’s better than the pictures,” Dang-gu’s excitement broke Mu-deok’s train of thought.
“It’s beautiful,” Mu-deok agreed, tossing her coat on a chair and surveying the mountains outside the window, “Hey, which room should I throw my stuff into?” she asked turning her attention to the bedrooms, the condo was huge.
“You can have that room at the end of the hall, if that works for you...” Won motioned for her to follow him. They passed a few bedrooms on the way. Mu-deok paused when she noticed a black leather bag sitting on one of the beds she hadn’t seen in the car.
“Oh no, do you think somebody left a bag in there?” she asked.
“What’s that?” Won came back to stand by her, “Oh, he must be here already. That’s great, he wasn’t sure if he would make it here today or tomorrow.”
Won walked on down the hall without a second look, leaving Mu-deok standing in the doorway, quite confused.
She hadn’t realized they were meeting anyone at the lodge.
“Who else is coming?” she followed Won into the bedroom at the far end and deposited her duffle on the desk in the corner.
“Uk,” Won answered.
“Excuse me?” Mu-deok said shaking her head. She must have misheard.
He did not just casually say her ex boyfriend was joining them for this vacation.
“Uk...Jang Uk, he’s coming too,” Won nodded, “He’s back at Songrim, he actually just came back a week ago, or maybe...I guess it was two weeks ago now.” Won scratched his chin, “Anyway, since we had an extra room, I mean, seemed like a waste to leave it empty.” He gave a small laugh, “Anyway, I mentioned it to Uk and he was totally down, right away. You know he loves to ski. Mister athletic. Not as athletic as me, of course…”
Mu-deok nodded, suddenly realizing her mouth was agape. She did know Uk loved to ski. She just hadn’t expected to see him doing that this weekend.
“Wow, I have to go tell Yul that Uk’s already here. I should text him and see where he is,” Won pulled his phone out of his pocket and walked out of the room absently, typing as he went.
Mu-deok stood wordlessly watching his retreating form.
Suddenly, the room was spinning slightly, or tilted maybe? Something was definitely off; she felt for the bed behind her with a trembling hand and sat down. Some sort of fight or flight reflex was kicking in, she could feel it as her heart began to pound and her mind instantly filled with a million excuses why she had to leave immediately.
“Hey, guys, I just remembered something,” she called after only a moment's reflection. Mu-deok walked into the living room tugging at a strand of her hair, “ I think I might need to—“
It was too late. The door opened and Yul exclaimed, “Uk, you made it! I was just texting to see where you were, we literally just arrived, timing couldn’t be better.” He slapped the other man on the shoulder. “We’re so glad you could make it.”
Mu-deok was frozen in place. Her body was suddenly incapable of doing anything other than standing stalk still and staring at the man who had broken her heart one year ago. He was tall, just like he always had been, she didn’t know if it was his physical size or the presence that emanated off him. His hair was dark and wavy, curling away from his face, framing it with deep brown. He was wearing a cable knit sweater and jeans under a dark grey wool coat that hung open just so, and a black scarf.
He turned to Won, who was just beside Yul, “Good to see you, thanks so much for inviting me.”
Dang-gu shook his hand and said something about how glad they all were.
“Yul, you were right, this place is great,” Uk nodded before finally looking up to see the last figure who hovered at the edge of the room.
“Mu-deok,” he whispered. Suddenly frozen himself as his chestnut brown eyes fixed on her.
All the air seemed to have escaped the room as Mu-deok stood planted, looking at him. His mouth worked with words unspoken, battling emotions too strong to express.
Mu-deok sucked in a breath herself, “I need some air...take a walk...” she slipped into the kitchen where she had seen a back door.
Dang-gu looked at Uk and back to the kitchen where Mu-deok had just escaped, his eyes fell on Mu-deok’s coat tossed haphazardly across a chair, “Oh, she forgot her coat.”
“I’ll take it to her,” Uk said, crossing the room in a few long strides.
Mu-deok blindly walked the footpath behind the condos, she noticed in one part of her brain that the view was magnificent behind her but couldn’t bring herself to fully see it. Uk was in her eyes and her mind and every part of her she thought he’d gone from in the months after he left. But it was just the same, emotions raw and untamable.
“Mu-deok,” he called from somewhere behind her, his voice was low, why did she always notice things like that about him?
“You forgot your coat,” he caught up with her easily and she finally she mustered the strength to turn and look at him.
“Thank you,” she said taking it from his hand and putting it on, turning away from him as she slipped it over her pale pink sweater.
“I’m sorry I startled you,” Uk said, his voice just above a whisper.
“I didn’t know you were coming,” she said with an ambiguous wave of her hand toward him, she was stating the obvious but it didn’t matter. She needed something to say and those words worked as well as any.
“I didn’t realize until last week that you even stayed in touch with Yul and Dang-gu after you left,” his voice was low.
“They’re my friends,” she said by way of answer.
“So KPMG, huh, that’s great, an international firm,” he looked away from her, his body radiating awkwardness.
Her mind registered that he must have talked to somebody about her to know that.
“Yeah, I decided to try public accounting, get out of the monotony,” she said, falling back to the canned answer she always gave when people asked her why she’d left Songrim and moved to a town two hours away for the new job.
“That’s great, you must be doing really well...you were always great with numbers,” Uk ran a hand through his hair absently.
“That’s not what accountants do,” she looked at him pointedly, her charged emotions focusing into the gaze.
He sighed, “I know,” he exhaled again quickly, “I don’t know what to say to you right now, I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to say anything, Uk, you’re good at that, just stick to it,” she met his eyes for the briefest of moments and turned on her heal. Relieved he didn’t follow her to see the tear that spilled unbidden down her cheek or the slight, shaky gulps of air she drew in as she walked. This was a perfect time to go explore that lodge, she decided.
The phone in Mu-deok’s pocket vibrated.
Where did you go??
It was from Yul.
Mu-deok sighed, and typed out a quick reply.
At the lodge, needed more coffee, be back soon.
She stuffed the phone back into her pocket and stepped up to the counter and ordered a cappuccino with an extra shot. Without cinnamon.
If she was going to make it through, she was going to need caffeine.