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“This is ridiculous,” Oliver grumbled.
The ‘shhh’ that came from his right was low, gentle and long, like the hiss of releasing air pressure. He looked over to the source of the sound and saw Felicity just to his right, immersed in a tub, bubbles upon bubbles heaped up to her shoulders obstructing him from any sort of interesting view. Her hair was wrapped in a towel and her head lay back against a soft, waterproof pillow. He scowled at the green paste covering her beautiful face and cucumbers - cucumbers! - covering her eyes.
He didn’t begrudge her any of this, though. If she wanted to relax and this is how she wanted to do it, then he would absolutely indulge any and every spa wish she had. Oliver had decided to indulge every wish of hers he possibly could, and a day at the spa was perfectly reasonable, as wishes went.
No, what was ridiculous about this was a) they were doing this out-freaking-side on a veranda on the beach and b) she had somehow managed to get him to do this with her. Oliver Queen - master archer, former assassin, vigilante, Bratva captain and all-around badass, was sitting in a frigging bubble bath on a veranda with green goop on his face trying to keep stupid cucumbers from falling off his eyes.
Unbelievable. Outrageous.
Ridiculous.
He scowled at the bubbles in Felicity’s tub for not at least doing him a solid and popping so he could enjoy the view. When they didn’t comply he turned his head back to his own tub and irritably tried to adjust the placement of his cucumbers, sinking back down into his tub and muttering, “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”
Felicity stretched one leg out luxuriantly and brought one knee up, creating a mountain in the thick foam and gave a little sigh. “Hush, Oliver,” she said, and her voice was a satisfied, sighing smile. “You’re harshing my mellow.”
Oliver lifted one cucumber and raised his head off the pillow hopefully, looking over at her tub before flopping back into his tub and giving his own thinning suds a dirty look. “Ridiculous,” he mumbled.
*ploop*
“Shit!”
Oliver sat up in the tub, splashing bubbly water over the sides of the claw-foot tub and looking around, turning his body this way and that. The cucumber slice over his left eye tumbled off and he reached up with one foamy hand, trying to catch it…’
*ploop*
“Dammit all!”
“Problem, dear?” Oliver jerked his head to the right to look at his girlfriend and found that she hadn’t moved. She still sat right there, covered in mounds of white fluff, looking like the poster child for serenity while he scrambled around his tub. He furrowed his brow at her and he’d have sworn she had some kind of x-ray-through-vegetables vision because as soon as he glared, she grinned. Even in his frustration, even covered in mud and vegetables, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, especially when she smiled like that. He softened a little.
Only a little, though.
“Yeah, I’ve got a problem.” Oliver continued to splash noisily around his legs in the tub, wiggling as he searched. “The stupid vegetables that girl stuck on my face fell off into the water. And I have mud on my face. On my face, Felicity. I spent five years on a deserted island with no showers. I was covered in filth all the time. Now you’ve got me smearing mud on my face on purpose?”
Felicity reached wet, dripping hands from beneath the surface of her water and wiped them on a towel before she raised her cucumbers like visors, turning her head to face him. “You’re in the bath, Oliver. Lighten up. And you don’t have to do this.”
Oliver muttered something in response, turning away from her before he agreed to every word she said. His eyes widened and his face went still while his arm moved around beneath the surface by his right foot. “Wait…I think I’ve got…HA! Got you, you little green bastard! And…” He stretched, bending down towards his other foot, “…got you too, sucker! Haha!” Oliver brought both hands up victoriously, bubbly and wet but clutching cucumber slices.
Felicity rolled her eyes as she lowered the cucumbers and settled back down into the water, laying her head back with a sigh.
Oliver looked over at her for a moment, peering down into her tub before he settled back into his own tub, feeling an odd mix of satisfaction and disgruntlement.
He slapped the cucumbers on his eyes and was quiet for about three seconds before: “Ah, dammit!”
“You know, Oliver,” Felicity said without moving in the tub beside him, “if you recall, I told you you didn’t have to do this with me. I offered to do this alone. And right about now, I’m really starting to wish you had taken me up on that.” She sighed heavily then pulled her cucumbers off her eyes and looked in his direction. “What is i- oh!"
Oliver was not happy when she started to giggle. "I forgot the cucumbers were wet,” he said sullenly.
“I can see that,” she said, swallowing a laugh.
“I have mud running down my face, Felicity.”
She was biting her lip. “I see that, too, Oliver.”
“I don’t understand how this is supposed to be relaxing, Felicity.”
A giggle escaped, which Felicity cut off with a snort. She brought up her hand to cover her mouth and muffle the sound, then her eyes widened.
A wide, mischievous grin split Oliver’s face when he realized what she’d done. “Well look at that. Look who else smeared her green goop?”
“Oh hush, you!” Felicity cried, using her dry hand to try to smooth everything out.
“No, leave it alone! It looks good like that. In fact…” Oliver’s eyes lit up and Felicity backed instinctively against the opposite side of the tub, “Let’s see how it looks when it’s runny….all over!” Oliver cupped his hand and sent a splash of water careening straight at Felicity’s face. Then he threw his head back and roared laughter.
Felicity’s mouth was open in a wide O, her towel knocked to the side, green mud dripping from her eyebrows, lips and chin. Oliver howled while she looked around the tub and sputtered, wiping her eyes. “You…” He struggled to get the words out through his laughter, “you look ridiculous!”
Felicity dropped both hands to the sides of the tub and glowered at him. “I do, huh?” Oliver nodded and kept chuckling. “Well let’s see how you look!” She cupped her hand and sent her own handful of water directly into his eyes.
Oliver dropped the laughter instantly but Felicity picked it up without a moment’s hesitation and cackled gleefully.
Oliver didn’t bother with any conversation this time. He just wiped the water out of his eyes and shot another jet of water at her. Felicity didn’t wait to wipe her face before she splashed him back. Oliver splashed Felicity. Felicity splashed Oliver, then made a preemptive strike by continuing to splash in a rapid-fire manner.
Oliver raised partway out of his tub and reached over into the next tub, grabbing a giggling and squealing Felicity under the arms and dragging her into his tub. She reached up and pulled her towel away from her hair, casting it aside as he lowered her, sliding her body against his in the soapy water, deep into the tub.
“You’re gorgeous. Even when you’re green.”
“So are you.”
They smiled against each other’s mouths, and Felicity wound her arms around his neck.
“I love you, Ms. Smoak.”
“I love you, too.”
>>—–>
A half-hour later, the masseuse found them in the same tub with clean faces, hair wet and down, cucumbers and towels discarded. Felicity rested between Oliver’s legs, her back against his belly, her head resting on his shoulder. Oliver’s hands roamed her body gently and he kissed her wet hair tenderly.
Sensing that she was intruding on an incredibly intimate moment, she coughed delicately to let them know she was there.
Oliver and Felicity jerked their heads around at the intrusion, Felicity relaxed when she saw that it was the masseuse. Oliver did not relax, however. He kept himself braced around Felicity protectively.
“Thank you for coming,” Felicity said, turning back to nuzzle into Oliver. “We’ve been enjoying the bath, but we were almost out of bubbles.”