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Jungkook dreams almost every single night. He can't control it, it's something that just happens. Ever since he was a child, his imagination has been very active. His mother used to tell him that that meant it would be easy for him to meet his soulmate, that his dreams would lead them straight to him. But he isn't so sure about that.
Of course, he hopes to meet them one day and be together, because aren't they the one the universe made perfect for him? The thing is, Jungkook has never seen one of his soulmate’s dreams, not once. It's gotten to a point where he actually thinks he may not have a soulmate at all, or they haven't been born yet, and Jungkook doesn't know which options upsets him the most. Ever since he learned about soulmates and shared dreams he has fantasized about being with them romantically, because it just makes sense.
Finding his soulmate used to be his biggest dream right next to becoming an idol. After years of training and suffering, he's only accomplished one of those dreams, and he can't seem to see the finish line for the other.
Lately, all his dreams have been about him and his members. One would think dreaming about that would give his soulmate a pretty clear idea of who he is. But what if they’re a fan? What if they think Jungkook’s dreams are just a product of their own adoration for the group as a whole?
Those are the kinds of questions that plague Jungkook’s mind as of lately. He's getting older (not as old as Seokjin Hyung) and he can't wait for the moment when him and his soulmate are finally together, though it seems that his problem isn't something that affects just him, given that none of his members have been able to meet their soulmates either, but they don't talk about it they way Jungkook does. They keep quiet.
Tonight, things are about to change for Jungkook, but he doesn't know that yet.
Jungkook knows that he shouldn't be awake until late on touring days. He should be in bed early, have a proper rest, but he just can't with all the adrenaline still cursing high through his veins.
So he waits until Seokjin, his designated roommate on this occasion, is asleep. He gets out of bed as quietly as he can manage and goes to pull his gaming laptop out of his luggage.
It's really late when it happens, when he realizes what is happening. It's something he's never experienced before, even though he has a knack for staying up way into dawn. But it's clear as day that this isn't a dream of his own, because he knows for a fact that he was in the middle of a raid in his game when it started.
The first thing that gives it away is the setting. Jungkook sees himself holding hands… with himself? It's not like he has never had dreams in a third person perspective before, but he was awake when this one started. He tries to move his real body, but the flashing from his soulmate’s dream makes the real world all fuzzy and confusing, so he stays put. Oh god, he hopes his soulmate was never awake for one of his dreams because that would've been wild.
In his soulmate's dream, they're holding hands with Jungkook. They're together in some kind of amusement park, like a date. They eat ice cream, win plushies… it feels like a vivid memory that’s in the forefront of his mind. He can’t shake it. It feels so cozy, so real.
Until he hears a very familiar voice whispering "I love you."
And dream Jungkook becomes a blushing, sputtering mess before saying I love you back. Dream Jungkook starts leaning forward, eyes fluttering closed and his lips part slightly to mumble "Seokjin…”
Real life Jungkook falls off his chair after leaning too far back in an attempt to avoid being kissed by himself. The dream stops right before their lips meet and Jungkook finds himself staring at the dark ceiling of his hotel room.
His heart is beating fast, so fast he can feel it in his entire body and it kind of hurts. Did he say Seokjin? His Seokjin or someone else? He kind of wants it to be his Seokjin.
How amazing would it be? If the one who the universe made perfect for him was someone Jungkook already adores and who he kind of has an itty-bitty crush on.
Jungkook groans, suddenly aware of the sharp pain radiating from the shoulder he fell onto when he hit the ground.
"Jungkook-ah, can you go to bed? It’s 4 am.” He hears Seokjin’s tired, raspy voice say from his bed.
Jungkook snaps his mouth shut and he stays frozen in place for a long moment. His mind is still too hazy from what just happened. Seokjin’s voice sounds awfully similar to the one from the dream and he doesn't want to confuse himself further.
"Jungkook? Are you okay?" Seokjin asks.
There's shuffling coming from the bed. Jungkook hurries to stand up before Seokjin can think about getting up to look at him. He speedwalks to the lamp and turns it off before reaching to close his laptop. The room is in full darkness now and Jungkook stands in the middle of it, looking in the general direction of the beds.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" Jungkook asks in a soft, quiet voice. Almost as if he didn't want to disturb Seokjin's sleeping time more than he already did.
"Yeah and I was having such a nice dream…" Seokjin exhales. There's more rustling of sheets and then silence again.
After a long consideration, Jungkook heads to Seokjin's bed instead of going to his own. He puts his hand on the edge of the mattress and presses down on it to make his intention clear, in case Seokjin may want to refuse him.
"Was I in it?"
Seokjin lets out a weak, tired laugh. "Yeah."
"What were we doing?" Jungkook presses further, heart beating at full speed at the implication of what it may mean.
"I don't remember anymore."
Jungkook climbs into Seokjin’s bed and makes himself comfortable next to him.
"This again? You have your own bed." Seokjin says, as he weakly attempts to push Jungkook away, to no avail.
"I want to sleep with you tonight!" Jungkook says, a little louder in between giggles. He makes sure to fight Seokjin's arms back until he's almost pressed to Seokjin's chest.
"Fine." Seokjin gives in, rather quickly. He lets Jungkook wrap himself around his body.
"I can make all your dreams come true, hyung." Jungkook whispers, his lips brushing Seokjin's collarbone. A sudden warmth fills his body.
"Be quiet. Go to sleep."
Jungkook makes plans in his head as he falls asleep. Tomorrow is their free day. Tomorrow, when he takes Seokjin to the amusement park and holds his hands. Tomorrow, when they eat ice cream together and win plushies at game stands. Tomorrow, Jungkook will lean in and finish what dream Jungkook couldn’t.
He can't wait to tell Seokjin that he loves him too.
Sadly, plans don’t always work out the way one expects them to, because the next day, when Jungkook wakes up he finds Seokjin all dressed up and ready to go out.
“Where are you going?” Jungkook asks, voice heavy with sleep, eyes barely open. He sees Seokjin move about the bed and… stare?
“I’m finally going for that drink with Hoseok.” Seokjin replies.
“Why are you drinking so early?”
Seokjin stops fussing over his hair in the mirror to throw Jungkook an amused look. “It’s 3PM.”
“What?!” Jungkook sits up and crawls across the bed to the nightstand to check his phone. It’s late. Fuck, he should’ve set an alarm.
“Why are you so upset?” Seokjin asks, back to staring at himself in the mirror, fighting with an unruly lock of hair that doesn’t want to stay in place. “It’s not like this is the first time you oversleep during a free day. Did you have plans?”
Jungkook pouts at the bedcovers and fidgets with his fingers. He wonders if it’d be right of him to beg Seokjin to go with him to the amusement park instead of going to his long awaited drinking with Hoseok.
A glance to Seokijn’s worried face tells him that he shouldn’t put that weight on Seokjin’s shoulders. If he’s waited this long to finally meet his soulmate, he can wait a little longer if that means Seokjin gets to enjoy himself.
Seokjin steps towards the bed and sits next to Jungkook, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Hey, is everything alright?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook says. For some reason, he’s unable to look at Seokjin’s eyes.
“Kookie, you know you can talk to hyung if something’s bothering you, right?” Seokjin tips Jungkook’s face up with a couple of fingers on his chin.
Nothing about the situation is new, but the knowledge Jungkook now possesses makes it feel completely different from before. His face heats up immediately, the closeness makes his heart skip a beat before going faster. He tries to look away, but Seokjin’s gentle hold doesn’t let him.
Maybe he should say something. If he’s been able to figure it out from just one dream, it’s probable that Seokjin already knows too, given that Jungkook is prone to dream a lot and talk about it all the time.
That’s when it dawns on him. Jungkook dreams a lot. Jungkook talks about his dreams a lot, to the staff, to his members. He talks a lot about his dreams to Seokjin in particular because he’s always willing to listen to him.
Seokjin knows.
Seokjin knows that they’re soulmates and he has never said anything.
Jungkook looks at seokjin then, sure that the hurt and confusion he’s feeling is clear in his eyes. After all, everyone has always told him that he’s so easy to read. And Seokjin is the best Jungkook reader of them all.
But he does nothing. He stares into Jungkook’s eyes for a while without saying anything, without showing any emotion. Even the worry from two seconds ago is completely gone. Jungkook wants to cry.
“Why?” Is all that Jungkook manages to whisper without actually breaking.
“Jungkook…” Seokjin thumbs away the first tear that drips down Jungkook’s cheek. “You know why.”
“No! I don’t!” Jungkook whimpers. He pulls away from Seokjin’s touch. The room is suddenly so cold.
Seokjin reaches out for him this time, but he stops before touching him. It looks like rejection. It feels like rejection. Jungkook is full on crying now because it hurts so much.
“We will talk about this later. I have to go now.”
And then Jungkook’s alone.
He falls sideways onto the bed, clutching his chest. It hurts so bad, right where his heart should be. Jungkook feels empty, wrung dry and tossed aside like garbage.
Is he so unlovable that even his soulmate doesn’t want him? That the one who the universe made for him won’t actually be his? Fuck, it hurts so bad. The world is closing in and he can’t breathe. This is it, the end of the line he spent so long looking for. His eternal dream turned out to be the worst nightmare.
Time has passed. Jungkook doesn’t know how long it’s been. It could be minutes or it could be hours. He hasn’t moved at all. Some tears still drip down every now and then, but he’s so tired.
He hears the first knock on the door but does nothing to let it be known. He can’t find it in himself to exist right now. It feels like he’s nothing.
Then there’s another knock. And another. And another. And they don’t stop until Jungkook drags himself out of bed and slowly opens the door.
Namjoon stares at him, concerned. Jungkook feels hollow. His eyes are devoid of emotion when he stares back, the stars and the galaxies people love to talk about completely dimmed. It’s all it takes for Namjoon to step inside the room and pull Jungkook into a bone breaking hug. Jungkook doesn’t react, he just stands there, frozen. He kind of hears Namjoon’s reassuring whispers, but he doesn’t understand how words can heal what silence damaged.
“Why?” He whispers, voice raw and throat sore from all the crying.
“Baby,” Namjoon pats the back of Jungkook’s head as he leaves a soft kiss on his temple. “It’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”
Jungkook doesn’t believe that even for a second. How can people live without a heart? Because Jungkook no longer has one, Seokjin took it with him when he left. He is not going to be okay.
“Why?” He repeats, like a broken record. “Why?... Did you… did you know?”
Namjoon hugs him a little tighter. Jungkook braces for another hit, sure that whatever the answer is, it can't hurt as much as his soulmate rejecting him.
“I didn’t.” Namjoon replies. Jungkook can hear the honesty, he deflates against Namjoon’s chest and cries, hands fisting Namjoon’s shirt.
Later, after Namjoon has tucked Jungkook into bed and they both lay side to side, staring into the ceiling, Namjoon explains what happened after Seokjin left. How he came to Namjoon’s room, babbled something about soulmates and asked him to go to Jungkook, then Seokjin left, saying that he needed to talk to Yoongi.
“Are they… together?” It hurts just to ask the question, and Jungkook isn’t really sure if he wants to know the answer.
“What? No, I don’t think so.” Namjoon cards his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. “They wouldn’t do that to you, you have to know that.”
But Jungkook doesn’t know. It feels like he can’t trust that those words are true even if he wants to believe them.
“Why did he leave?” Jungkook whimpers. He doesn’t want to cry again, but at this point it isn’t something he can control anymore.
“I don’t know, but he said he’s coming back. All you have to do is wait a little more.”
“I’m tired of waiting! He knew! For who knows how long, he knew and he let me believe I hadn’t found him yet! He let me talk to him about my dreams, the most embarrassing ones! I must have looked like an idiot,” Jungkook drags his hands across his face to get rid of the stupid tears. “If he didn’t want me all he had to do was say so and spare me the rest. Why did he have to lie? Why did he have to pretend?”
“If he rejected you from the get go, would you have stayed?”
Namjoon’s question takes him aback.
“What?”
“You were a literal child when you two met.” Namjoon offers. “He was the responsible adult who had to keep your expectations of soulmates on check.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit!” Jungkook grunts, angry. “I’ve been an adult for a while now, he didn’t have to hide it from me.”
“Maybe he was scared.” Namjoon tries to reason.
“Scared of what?”
"Of your reaction? Of what you may think of him?" Namjoon reaches for Jungkook’s hand, he holds it gently and brushes the back of it with his thumb in a calming gesture. His face is soft and understanding.
"He could have just told me," Jungkook whispers.
"I'm not siding with him on this, I agree that he shouldn't have kept it from you, not something as important as this. But remember how you were when you first came to Seoul? All innocent and overwhelmed by all the changes you were going through. We were all just trying to survive back then, maybe he just didn't know how to speak to you about this."
"But he could have told me earlier today."
"You could've said something too. What happened to make him just run out?"
Jungkook stays quiet. He didn't give Seokjin the chance to explain. Thinking about it, all he did was put him on the spot. Fuck.
"I have to talk to him now." He starts to get up from the bed, but Namjoon stops him.
"I think you should wait. I'm sure he will come to you when he's ready. And if he doesn't just tell me and I'll bring him myself."
"Thank you." Jungkook tackles Namjoon into a hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," he keeps going, dropping little kisses on Namjoon’s dimples between words.
Neither of them hear the door opening.
"Um… Am I interrupting something? I can come back later."
In the blink of an eye, Namjoon throws Jungkook onto the bed and hurries to get a hold of Seokjin before he can run again. Jungkook stares with a wobbly smile.
"Nope, I'm going. Good luck!" Namjoon gives Seokjin a final push towards the bed before rushing out of the room.
Then they're alone.
"Hi," Jungkook says to break the ice.
"Hi," Seokjin replies, still a little stiff. He fidgets in place for a moment, takes a deep breath and blurts out "I love you."
"Wh—"
"I've loved you for a long time now," Seokjin cuts in. He breathes again and he looks Jungkook right in the eye. "I love you… I just… I just love you so much. Oh my god I think I'm going to die."
And then he starts hyperventilating. Jungkook jumps from the bed and goes to Seokjin. He guides him onto a chair and instructs him on how to breathe properly, until Seokjin doesn't look like he's about to pass out.
"I love you too," Jungkook whispers, a hand gently rubbing Seokjin's back up and down.
"No, don't say that." Seokjin jerks away. "I love you for who you are, not because of some soulmate bulshit. I loved you even before I found out it was you, I loved you even when I thought one of the others might be the one. I don't want you to love me just because you think it has to be me."
"Wh—"
"Jungkook, please let me speak!" Seokjin sounds desperate, he looks a little bit crazy too. Jungkook finds it endearing somehow. "I know how you get about soulmates, and even if I probably love you more than I love myself, I wouldn't be able to bear the thought of you loving me back just because you think it's fated. I want you to love me because of me, not because of some universal complot to get people together. And I understand if you don't, I don't want to force you into anything and I definitely don't want to get between you and Namjoon…"
"Wait, what? Namjoon hyung and I?"
"You aren't together?" Seokjin asks, clearly surprised and very confused.
"Of course not! What made you think that?"
“Uh, I don’t know, maybe your gigantic crush on him from before day one? The way you act around each other? The way you treat each other? I don’t wanna say I’ve been staring, but the way you look at each other is pretty on the nose. Even the fans notice it.”
Jungkook stares at Seokjin, open mouthed. He doesn’t know what to say, he just stares. Then he bursts out laughing and Seokjin frowns.
“What’s so funny?”
“Oh my god, we’re both so stupid!”
“Excuse you?!”
“What do you think was the first thing I thought after realizing it wasn’t me who was having the dream?” Jungkook steps closer to Seokjin and takes his hand. “Which, first dream okay? It’s kinda weird that you don’t dream more often.”
“First… What are you talking about? We share dreams so often I’m surprised you didn’t realize it was me sooner.”
“What? That’s not true. I’m almost always dreaming about everyone. Those are my dreams, I’ve told you about them.”
“Yeah, those are my dreams too. Haven’t you realized that the two of us are always there? Standing close to each other, talking to each other, play-fighting each other?”
“Oh my god.”
“I’m not the stupid one.” Seokjin pokes Jungkook’s nose, a tiny smile on his plush lips, the one that Jungkook loves so much.
“You’re the one who thought I still had a crush on Namjoon hyung when I’ve been in love with you pretty much since the first time you cooked for me.” Jungkook says with a smirk. Seokjin’s eyes go wide. “Come on, ask me what was the first thing I thought when I realized it wasn’t my dream.”
“Wh—”
“Did I say Seokjin? My Seokjin or someone else? I kind of want it to be my Seokjin.” Jungkook says before Seokjin can even finish.
“Your Seokjin?” Seokjin whispers, getting closer, his face only a few millimeters away from Jungkooks. Both of them are blushing.
“Mine.” Jungkook kisses him and it’s everything he ever expected it to be, from Seokjin and from his soulmate. It’s soft and a little bit demanding, so Seokjin, so Jungkook and so so perfect. They part after a few minutes, lips spit slicked and kiss-swollen, and they hold each other close. “I love you.”
Seokjin’s response is to tackle Jungkook onto the bed and tickle him until he’s squealing and almost crying. When they’re both out of breath, Seokjin kisses him again, just a peck “I love you too.”
The next morning, when they go hand in hand to Yoongi’s room to have breakfast with the others, the room erupts into a bunch of ‘I told you so’s and ‘pay me’s and an all around aura of ‘thank fuck, finally’. Seokjin and Jungkook just smile at each other and share another perfect kiss.
✨THE END✨