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Erik sat back on his heels and wiped the sweat from his brow despite the chill in the air. This was what counted as spring in Verglas and he had planted the family’s garden a month before, but even in this cold climate, weeds grew faster than the crops. He grinned a little as he watched his brother, the Prince of Verglas, on his knees in the dirt, pulling weeds, a brown streak across his forehead. Erik was tempted to tease him, but shook his head. He had something else he had wanted to ask, and he rarely got time alone with Farrin. He’s a busy, important man around here. His chest puffed a little at the thought.
“Farrin?” Erik sank to his knees beside his brother and attacked another patch of weeds.
“Mmm-hmm?”
“You can tell me to butt out if I’m out of line.”
Farrin raised an eyebrow at his brother but just said, “Mmm-hmm.”
Erik chuckled. “I know. Dumb thing to say to my big brother.”
“Mmmm-hmmm.”
“About two weeks ago, Glia told me that Kai’s last name isn’t Graydim. I was quite surprised, honestly.”
Farrin stopped work and looked at Erik. “Why?”
Erik shrugged and stared at the ground as he continued to dig. “You treat him like your son. Why not make it official?”
“He may not want to be a Graydim.”
Erik’s head snapped up. “I have a hard time believing that.”
“He may want to keep his own father’s name.”
“I thought his parents abandoned him.”
“His mother did. His father was killed before his magic manifested.”
“Killed how?”
Farrin didn’t look up. “He was a Verglas soldier.”
“Oh.” Erik said no more.
***
Farrin stood in the Queen’s Corridor outside Kai’s bedroom door. He licked his lips. He almost regretted turning down Rakel’s offer to accompany him, but he knew this conversation had to be between him and Kai. No one else. It’s past the time I should have done this. He took a deep breath and knocked.
“Come in,” came the boy’s voice from the other side of the door.
Farrin opened the door. “Good evening, Kai. Am I disturbing you?”
Kai sat on the floor surrounded by neat piles. The blocks Farrin had given him long ago were stacked at his right knee, paper and ink and quills at his left knee, and several books in a semicircle behind him. It almost looked like he had built himself a nest from his favorite things. Farrin smiled a little.
Kai put down the book he was reading and shook his head. “No Sir.”
“May I speak with you?”
Kai swallowed hard. “Am I in trouble?”
“No, no. Nothing like that. May I come in?”
Kai nodded. “Want to sit down?”
Farrin seated himself in the padded chair across from the boy’s nest. “Kai, Uncle Erik said something to me yesterday that got me thinking.”
“What did he say?”
“He was surprised your last name wasn’t Graydim.”
Kai cocked his head while he thought about that. “Why?” he asked finally.
“Because we treat you like our son, and in many ways, you are exactly that, but we have never officially adopted you.”
“He thinks you should adopt me?”
“Yes.”
“What do you think?”
“The princess and I think of you as part of the family, Kai. We would be happy to make it official. But it really matters more what you think.”
Kai flicked his eyes to the darkened window. After several moments of silence, he said, “Would I have to call you Papa and Momma?”
“Not unless you wanted to.”
Another silence. Then, “I love you and Princess Rakel and Korsa and Erik, but you’re not my family. Not really.”
Farrin just listened.
“I loved my papa and my momma. I like having their name.” He brought his eyes to Farrin’s, “But I think I would like being a Graydim, too.”
“You can continue to be part of our family without changing anything. If you are content with the way things are, that’s fine. It’s up to you.”
“Do I have to answer now?”
“No, of course not. Take all the time you need. But, there is something else we should discuss that might affect your decision.”
When Kai’s inquisitive glance fell on him, Farrin had to fight his instinct to look away.
“Kai. . . ”
“Yes?”
“Do you know what happened to your father?”
“Mother said that he died in the war.”
“The War of Ice and Snow. The war with the Chosen.”
Kai just looked at Farrin.
For a moment, Farrin considered walking away. How do I tell this boy that I’m responsible for his father’s death?
“I’ve done some research. Your father died at the Battle for Golondril.” When he had begun his research, Farrin had hoped desperately that Kai’s father had died in a battle with one of the mercenary groups that had been employed by Tenebris. Instead, his research had shown that the First Regiment–and only the First Regiment–had engaged the Verglas troops at Golondril.
“I don’t know where that is.”
“It’s almost at the exact center of Verglas.” Farrin leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees. “Kai, I was in charge of the Chosen soldiers who fought at Golondril.”
The boy’s face changed as realization dawned. He pulled his knees up to his chest, squashing the book between his chest and his thighs, and wrapped his arms around his knees. He dropped his head.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Without looking up, Kai shrugged.
Farrin was nearly at the door when Kai asked, “Did you kill him?”
“I’m sorry, Kai, but I don’t know.”
Suddenly the boy launched himself from his nest, his neat piles kicked in all directions. He flew at Farrin, pounding his fists into Farrin’s chest and kicking at Farrin’s shins. “How could you? How could you kill my papa? How could you?” Although the boy was big enough to land solid punches, Farrin made no move to defend himself.
Kai finally quit flailing and slithered to the floor in a heap. The boy dropped his face into his hands as if trying to hide his tears.
Farrin’s heart grieved for the child who had already lost so much in his short life. Kneeling, he put his hand on Kai’s back. Kai shook him off. “Leave me alone.”
Farrin pulled his hand away, but he did not retreat. Although he had not known Kai’s father, he could surmise some things from what he did know. “Your father was a good man. He stood up for what he believed in. He fought to save his country, his king, and you, Kai. He knew what would happen if the Chosen took over. He wanted to stop it so you would be safe.”
“But he couldn’t stop it.” He sniffled, then looked up at Farrin from under his eyelashes for the barest second. Dropping his head again, he whispered angrily, “He couldn’t stop you.”
“Not by himself, no. But his sacrifice, and the sacrifices of many other Verglas soldiers, helped bring about what we have now–a place that is safe and welcoming for magic.”
“The princess did that.”
“Yes, she did, but not by herself. There were too many enemy soldiers. She needed help. General Halvor and the Verglas army made it possible for the princess to defeat so many.”
Kai just swallowed.
“When I saw that she had the Verglas troops’ complete loyalty, when I saw how they treated her and she treated them, I began to see the truth. I finally realized that I was fighting for the wrong side.”
The boy sniffled and leaned his shoulder into Farrin. Farrin wrapped his arms around him and held him in a side hug.
As his shoulders shook, Kai managed, “Why couldn’t you just fight for Verglas to begin with? Then the Chosen wouldn’t have come and my father would still be alive.”
There was no reason to point out the fallacies in the boy’s argument. Farrin kissed the crown of Kai’s head and murmured into his hair. “I am so sorry, Kai.”
“If my father had known about my magic, would he have left?”
Again Farrin had no facts to offer. “Your father loved you very much.”
“My mother said she loved me too.”
Farrin squeezed the thin shoulders a bit tighter. “She did. They both did. They both worked hard to care for you and keep you safe.”
“But they both left.”
Farrin shifted and brought the boy’s head to his chest, holding him for a long time while he cried long, wracking sobs.
When the sobs had faded to sniffles, Farrin said gently, “I can’t bring back your father, Kai, but if you’ll allow it, I’d like to do my best to love you the way he would have wanted.”
Kai said nothing, but leaned heavily into Farrin’s chest and wrapped his arms around the man.
When he left the room, Farrin was relatively certain that, eventually, their little family would include one more Graydim.