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Suzuka Gozen's Trip to Walmart

Summary:

Suzuka Gozen goes to Walmart to buy milk. She encounters other shikigami as well

Work Text:

It's 3AM. But Sen doesn't care. She looks in the fridge. The fish figure realised that there was no milk. She rotates her head to her little sister, Suzuka. She had a plan in her mind.

Sen: "yo sis"
Suzuka: "what"
Sen: "we ran out of milk. why don't you go buy some"
Suzuka: "ok"

Suzuka gets out the water. On the surface. It was possibly day. She walked to Walmart because she can and she will. The so called fish figure reads the big sign written with fluorescent bright letters: WALMART

Suzuka: "ok"

She tries to open the door but something was blocking the way. A kid.

"black hair, white horns, electricity waves around him... must be mine"

She picks him up and shakes the little figure. He screeched.

???: "ma'am please put me down. i'm just trying to get myself some groceries"
Suzuka: "then why didn't you enter the store???"
???: "they said I have rabies"

Suzuka hits the child with a wave of water. The kid was now shining. His hair was now white, he changed race and now had a fish tail.

Suzuka: "how does the water soul feel like?"
Otakemaru: "sexy af btw my name's otakemaru"
Suzuka: "mine's Suzuka"

Otakemaru comes a little bit closer to Suzuka. He's staring into her eyes.

Otakemaru: "are you my mom?"
Suzuka: "fuck yes"
Otakemaru: "thanks"

The two enter the shop. Inside they get a cart. They go to the gardening section and find Higanbana and Enma arguing over what flowers to take as a decoration in the underworld hall.

Higanbana: "we could get som-"
Enma: "nah we're definitely getting cactuses"
Higanbana: "what next tacos??"
Enma: "yes"

Higanbana looks at Enma with a surprised face

"I was just joking... "

Enma rotates her head over Higanbana's face.

"you know I can hear your thoughts right?"
"oh shit"
"didn't I tell you I'm Mexican?"
"no"
"well now you know"

Suzuka: "nothing of interest over here"

The two move to the literature section. In here can be found Aoandon and Hana trying to think which book is the best one to make Hana sleep peacefully for fuck's sake. She didn't have a good sleep in a long while and was depressed(just like all the other shikigami if I'm not wrong lmao)

Aoandon: "I think this one is good for a good night sleep"

Aoandon hands over the book to Hana. She reads the book's title. Hana raises an eyebrow at the the suspicious title.

Hana: "How to NOT come in Contact with Gen Z and How to Protect Yourself against their MEMES?"
Aoandon: "if you don't like that one we can get this one"

Aoandon hands another book to Hana and she reads the title. Slight blushing can be seen on her face. She whispers.

Hana: "How to have passionate sex with your partner"????"
Aoandon: "well, it should be clear from now on. we are great for each other 😊😊"
Hana: "uhh ok. fine. thanks.... a lot"

The two go to purchase the products and eventually get lost in the store. Otakemaru turns his head to the book Aoandon first touched.

Suzuka: "you like that one? I buy it for you as a gift"
Otakemaru: "yes please"
Suzuka: "ok"

She takes the book out of the shelf and puts it in the cart. She noticed the cart was kinda empty.

"what if I get him a treat. as a welcoming gift of course. tomorrow I won't be so kind"

Suzuka: "how about we go to the food section"
Otakemaru: "ok"
Suzuka: "what do you want?"
Otakemaru: "I don't know. I'm new here. I have never been here to be fair"
Suzuka: "ok"

The fish figures go to the food ingredients or whatever the fuck it's called (I've never been to a Walmart so I don't know how it looks like. Anyway. I know that all of you are gonna kill me if I don't add Taishakuten to the story so here we go.....). In here is Taishakuten trying to gather as many ingredients as possible. We don't know for what though.

Suzuka: "do you have any idea where the pepper is?"
Taishakuten: "yes, uh there"
Suzuka: "thanks. btw how's Silver Opposite doing?"
Taishakuten: "ah nothing much. it was pretty much of trouble but I actually got him now"
Suzuka: "well that's great! maybe us, metal gears will have a better end than it was postponed... "
Taishakuten: "yes we, as metal gears deserve more... but just some of them"
Otakemaru: "what's a metal gear?"
Taishakuten: "a fanfic made by saku_kasu. the secondly worst one actually"
Suzuka: "what do you mean???? all of them are great and funny"
Otakemaru: "what..."
Suzuka: "anyway let's get out of here"

The human fishes leave the lotus specimen alone. All alone. Alone? Nah cap. Bro existing not just double, not just triple, but quadruple.

Shaikuten: "they will never know"

.....

....

...

..

.

Yeah uh yes um the fish figures. They went to the electronics section and guess which bitches they found lmao.

Orochi🧐

Susanoo🙀

And Susabi💀

Orochi grabs Susanoo's hand and puts it at his chest(orochi's chest lmao of course). He says, slightly shaking.

Orochi: "listen... I OWN THIS WALMART"
Susanoo: "AND DO I CARE???"
Susabi: "come on now you two, this is just a random Walmart store over our house-"

Susanoo waves his hand. Susabi starts floating and then crashes back on the floor. It makes a boom loud sound effect. Everyone heard them. Everyone gathered at the point Susabi got embarrassed and got up. Orochi rolls his head over to the crowd that had gathered over.

Orochi: "what? never seen a snake and an electric wave fighting? in a Walmart? MY WALMART????"
Taishakuten: "nah I've seen worse"
Aoandon: "like what?"
Taishakuten: "remember 26 of May, year 2021 onmyoji summoning event?"
Suzuka: "oh my fucking god. the last ray of sunshine before total chaos"
Orochi: "nah I hate that event. It was cringe"
Taishakuten: "I agree"
Susanoo: "I swear to God-"
Susabi: "Your dad?"
Susanoo: "NOOO IT'S JUST A SAYING"
Orochi: "ok let's forget this. let's go home"
Otakemaru: "well that was unusual"

The fish figures pay their products and get out of the store. It wasn't possibly day.

Suzuka: "today's trip to Walmart was great. I might wanna come here again one day"
Otakemaru: "hey mom"
Suzuka: "what"
Otakemaru: "I don't have a house"
Suzuka: "you can come to my house"
Otakemaru: "and where do you live then?"

It was at this moment Suzuka remembered it all. Her face horribly fell into a deep despair #realization #despair #timetogohome

The two got back to the water. It was frozen. Sen standing next to it.

Suzuka: "what happened here?"
Sen: "sister.... you we're too late"
Suzuka: "wait what do you mean by sister"
Otakemaru: "omygod mom... do you have a sister? ;$2🙀6💀🙀👹🙀👹💀! $;;;???"
Sen: "yes"
Suzuka: "wait I remember! NOW I KNOW!!!"

The three break the ice. And the water flows again lol.

THE END

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