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For the spooky season, the writers were challenged, as per usual, with coming up with scary or disgusting episodes for Rhett and Link to endure but occasionally they surprised them with a less fearful venture. Well, at least for Link.
Cotton Candy Randy was making an appearance and the boys were tasked with making him the best “sweet” treat for Halloween, his favourite time of year. Poor Jordan would have to bite into the spook-ified dessert and then pick a winner and there was no question about who he’d pick.
Couples Therapy had improved Randy and Link’s relationship but the writers, and Rhett and Link themselves, found it much more enjoyable to play with the unresolved sexual tension between Rhett and Randy much to Link’s faux disgust and amusement.
Rhett was expectedly giggly on the day of filming; Jordan’s sense of humour was right up his alley, and he didn’t feel as much pressure as a performer when Cotton Candy Randy was on screen. Link was also in a good mood, knowing he wouldn’t have to go through what Rhett or, more importantly, Jordan was about to experience.
With the help of an array of “disgusting” ingredients selected by the Mythical Kitchen crew, Link and Rhett set to work cooking up their scary cakes filled with surströmming, citric acid, pork blood compote and the like.
Amid much teasing, several incidents of Link almost cutting himself, and maniacal laughter from Rhett, the cakes were finally baked and the two forty-year-old boys were back at the desk.
“Happy Cotton Candy Day, Daddies!” Randy’s usual greeting prompted chuckles from the crew and a half-smile, half-wince from Link who avoided eye-contact as Randy approached the pair.
Rhett was already apple-cheeked, watching Randy with an unsuppressed glee in the monitor. “I’ve got some special cotton candy sweets for you. I’ve been keeping them moist in my cheeks like a chipmunk for four months now.”
“Oh-hoho”, Rhett laughed lowly as Link simply shook his head.
Randy side-stepped closer to Rhett’s chair, “That’s how the flavour gets in, it’s like – like a basting process.”
“Wanna hear a sweet nothing?”
“Sure,” Link supplied even though the question wasn’t aimed at him. He watched Rhett who nodded and leaned closer to Randy so he could whisper into his left ear.
Randy breathed heavily, “The Human Centipede was based off a movie me and your wife made, she said you’d be in the sequel.” Plentiful groans sounded from the crew amidst scattered laughter. Link closed his eyes as if to will away the image his brain had crudely conjured up.
“Oh gosh,” Rhett had a hand covering his mouth as he attempted to disguise his laughter.
Randy moved back into the space between them, eyeballing the desserts on the desk in front of him, “I heard you made sweet treats for me Daddies, can I try some?”
Link reached for his plate to offer the cake to Randy, “Yeah, here Randy. Consider this uh…a peace offering. After our therapy session I feel like we – we’re on the right track.”
“That’s nice.” Randy grabbed a handful of cake as Link looked to the camera, aghast that Randy didn’t appreciate his gesture. Rhett bit his lip with an uneasy smile as Randy took a large bite of his handful of cake.
Immediately, Randy gagged and folded over, loosening his grip on his pants. The crew were laughing again, Rhett clapping his hands revelling in Randy’s discomfort as Link offered a bin to Randy in case he needed to be sick. Randy spat out a few clumps of cake, “Tastes like the inside of your skull.”
Link pursed his lips at the insult. These segments were always harder for him because of his commitment to being afraid of Randy; it meant that he couldn’t always laugh at his jokes even though most of them made him really chuckle.
Next, Randy tried Rhett’s cake and the “sweet treat” barely stayed in his mouth for a second before it was promptly in Link’s waste bin. “Delicious!”
Rhett was still cackling and so Stevie piped up on the god mic to move the show along, “Okay, Randy now you’ve tasted both Rhett and Link’s sweet treats, please decide which one is your favourite so we can declare the Cotton Candy King!”
After thirteen seconds or so of “deliberation”, Randy turned to Rhett and placed a hand over his cake, “Rhett wins! Congratulations Cotton Candy King, can I still call you Daddy though?”
Link crossed his arms, pouting like a child as Rhett cheered, “Sure Randy.”
Randy tapped Rhett on the shoulder, “Daddy, I have something to give you as a reward for making the best “sweet treat”.
“Is it a sweet nothing?” Rhett asked, although he knew what it would be.
Randy chuckled despite himself, looking down at his feet briefly, “Oh…well it’s a sweet something.” The crew tittered again sensing Randy’s, well Jordan's, shyness. Link watched Rhett and Randy like a hawk as Rhett leaned his left cheek towards Randy. What was supposed to be a simple peck on the cheek, the first step in the consummation of Rhett and Randy’s relationship turned into more.
Rhett, who was feeling rather devilish and cheeky, turned his face towards Randy and their lips met eliciting many whoops and hollers from the crew and the dropping of Link’s jaw as he witnessed the display. The kiss lasted a few seconds before Rhett rose out of his seat and grasped Randy by the head, it was obvious now that his palm was between them as the two pretended to make out, but Link had seen their lips touch.
Somewhere in the back of Link’s head, he registered Randy’s lack of surprise and was relieved to know that Jordan had prior knowledge of the changes made to this bit. The rest of Link’s brain, however, was trying to interpret what the heck just happened and why it was making his stomach churn and his teeth clench.
The two broke apart with a loud “mwah!” from Rhett whose hair was now strewn across his forehead and Randy stumbled backwards, a hand clutching his moustache to his upper lip where it had been jilted by Rhett.
“I’ll call Tom Six about the sequel.” Randy announced before hurrying off screen.
Rhett gracelessly fell into his chair, “Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell!”
“You know what time it is,” Link said without even looking towards the camera. With a quick side glance, Rhett noted Link’s less than chipper demeanour, but he was having too much fun to be brought down by his friend.
They got through the ‘More’ pretty quickly and fortunately, their schedule allowed for a quick break, so Link signalled to Rhett to meet him in their office after he finished filming his part for the ‘Behind the Mythicality’ video.
Rhett had hardly made it two steps inside the room before Link was whisper-yelling at him, “What in the heck was that?”
The taller man frowned in confusion as he was shuffled out of the way so Link could close the door.
“It was a bit, the joke, it got a lot of laughs man.”
“But you…” Link trailed off, his obvious frustration rapidly making him feel insecure in the face of Rhett’s nonchalance. Why was he bothered by it?
He fumbled for a moment before regaining his decorum, “I thought he was just gonna kiss you on the cheek and then you friggin’ made out with him.”
Rhett just smirked and moved to sit on the couch, “It was funny man, we talked beforehand and thought we might as well go big or go home, ya know. I think it paid off. I don’t know what’s getting your goat all of a sudden.”
“Well, I don’t either!” Link shouted, throwing his arms up like he’d had enough of this.
Rhett could only look on bemused at his friend’s reaction. “Are you mad cos I didn’t tell you I was gonna kiss him or because I kissed him?”
Flabbergasted was the best word for the expression on Link’s face as he stared at Rhett, “What? No, no, neither of those – those things. I…I was mad because - and who said I’m mad anyways? I’m not!”
“Uhuh, this is you not mad? Really, Neal?” Link didn’t have much to say to that given that he was just yelling, his hands fell from his hips to hang casually although he was feeling anything but casual.
“It’s okay if you’re jealous.” Rhett piped up, leaning back on the couch and further manspreading which only served to further incense Link.
Link rolled his eyes, pacing back and forth to avoid looking at his friend now, “Oh, shut up, Rhett.”
“Link, are you freaking out about the camping trip?” Link’s pacing stopped.
He turned towards Rhett, “No…I just. What will people think of us now? When they see this video, they’ll either be really happy or disappointed or frustrated. I feel like it’s gonna change things and there’s been enough big changes goin’ on round here for me to deal with.”
Rhett looked away from Link, staring at an old picture of them that hung by his laptop, “Could you handle one more?”
“What?”
Rhett rose from the couch and stopped short, a couple inches of space between him and Link, “I’m gonna kiss you. Not for a bit, not for a joke and then you’re gonna be honest and tell me if you liked it or not.”
Link’s mouth gaped like he was trying to induce a yawn, “I – I don’t wanna kiss you, I’m not – I don’t feel that way about you Rhett.”
Another pointed look was sent Link’s way, “Then why are you so upset about me and Jordan? Why are you nervous about the camping trip? It’s just you and me, now. It’s always been, really.”
No, Link didn’t know what was going on or if Rhett was even making sense anymore, “So…and so you wanna kiss me?”
The words sounded strange to both man’s ears, but Rhett was committed to seeing this through and Link could tell from the look in his eyes, he was sure to get his way, “Listen, I don’t know how I feel about goin’ any further than that, I’m ninety-nine percent sure I’m straight but kissing you…well, there are worse things I could do.”
“Gee, thanks.” He scoffed at the backhanded compliment.
Rhett almost childishly touched his foot to Link’s, an unexpectedly bashful expression on his face, “So, Neal, you wanna kiss me?”
Even though Link’s brain told him to hold on a second, every other fibre of Link’s being was desperate for him to just see what it was like and - “Oh, screw it.”
Link’s hands reached up to cup Rhett’s smiling cheeks and bring their lips together. It was a short-lived kiss, partially because Link was simultaneously struck by fear and the scent of all the nasty things Jordan had to eat not thirty minutes prior.
Rhett had no time to properly return the kiss before Link had darted five steps back. He didn’t look…happy exactly.
“What happened?”
Oh, was he starting to freak out? “I…I can’t do this, Rhett.” Link’s chest was beginning to rise and he could feel a sense of panic mounting from his somewhere around his sternum.
Regret was starting to wash over Rhett as he watched his friend fight off a panic attack after being kissed by him, “It was barely a peck, Link. Calm down.”
“Calm down? I – we don’t kiss, we’re just friends. I don’t -” Nope, maybe he needed to be sick.
Fuck.
“Alright, Link it’s fine. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve pushed you into this. I swear, I thought that you…I thought you wanted this as much as I did.” Rhett’s tone was solemn, but Link was too busy freaking out to be sympathetic.
“No! No, why on earth would I? I’m not gay Rhett. I’m not bi, I don’t like guys, I don’t like you – I mean…I’m not interested in you like that.”
Rhett’s heart rate was picking up speed too, but he clenched his jaw and opted for as minimal movement as possible, “Okay.”
“Alright?” The decibel count on Link’s voice was still too high but he couldn’t help himself, he wanted Rhett to understand.
Though Rhett’s eyes had fallen to the floor, they found their way to Link’s who balked under their stony gaze, “I hear you, Link.”
Link was still breathing too fast and was looking at anything but Rhett, “Good. I – alright, I’m gonna go to the kitchen, get some water before we shoot.”
Rhett could only nod as Link hightailed it out of the room, feeling sucker-punched by the whirlwind that was Link Neal. Maybe today wasn’t the day to confess to his best friend of nearly forty years that sometimes he wanted to kiss him. Maybe that day was never supposed to come but Rhett didn’t want to waste time and maybe he’d been spending too much time on Tumblr, but it was hard for him to shirk off the feeling he got sometimes when Link looked at him a certain way.
Maybe he’d thought of their feelings as some unspoken secret when in reality, he was just sitting on decades of unrequited…love? He wasn’t sure, but he knew it was more than friendly and at the same time, not explicitly sexual. He wasn’t having sex dreams about Link, but he was noticing him more, getting lost in thought just looking at him, getting distracted by his lips when he talked.
Now, he had to fix what he had broken, and he had no idea where to start.
In the kitchen, Link was downing bottle after bottle of water as though he could purge what just happened from his system. In his, for lack of a better word, gay panic he’d hyper-focussed on Rhett’s allusion to Link being into him. He’d been reminded of all the teasing they used to get for being “best friends”, and Link more often than not had the f-word thrown his way during their adolescence and even college.
The arduous task of eroding years of damage caused by both external and internalised homophobia was something he and Rhett were both working on. After spending too much of his time being teased and dismissed for being the queer one, or Rhett’s sidekick or the one Rhett had to look after; the suggestion that he could be into Rhett didn’t sit comfortably with him. In a way, he preferred the idea of them being shipped together, than the notion that he was the one crushing on Rhett. It made him defensive and insecure and protective all at once. Especially, when he had only recently come to terms with the fact that when he was younger, he maybe definitely had a crush on Rhett.
What he missed in the mayhem that ensued post-kiss was the sincere declaration of feeling that Rhett offered that would prove the fatal chink in his heterosexual armour.
He dashed back to the office, flinging open the door and startling Rhett who was sat, head in his hands, on the couch.
“Did you say…did you say that you wanted to kiss me?” Link was panting, gosh he needed to workout more. He closed the door with his back as he leant against it in order to catch his breath.
Rhett peered up at him, “What?”
Link shook his head, “Forget what I said earlier. I need to know this; did you say that you wanted to kiss me? Not for a bit, not for a joke but because you just…wanted to?”
“Yeah. Yeah, Link. I do, I…I don’t know when things changed for me but yeah, sometimes I think we could do the things we do with our wives. Not everything necessarily but maybe kiss if we wanted to and when we wanted to and I don’t know, go on date nights? I mean half the internet thinks we’re married anyways -” While that was true, it was kinda besides the point.
“- So, that’s a yes?”
Rhett straightened his back, raising his chin as he did so, “Yes, Link, I wanted and still want to kiss you. I would like to have that memory to look back on, even though I have said the exact opposite in the past.”
Link let out a joyful laugh, “And you say I’m the contrary one.”
Rhett laughed through his nose, but he didn’t know where Link was going with this.
Even though Link disliked the assessment that Rhett was the leader of the two and Link would follow him wherever he went, he couldn’t dispute the fact that Rhett being the initiator did help him. Maybe, like Rhett, he’d been sitting on some unspoken thing and had talked himself out of ever making it a reality. Maybe enough time had passed that he’d forgotten how he truly felt. Maybe, he needed Rhett to lead this one.
After some time passed and Rhett waited patiently, quieting the questions filling his mind, Link finally spoke, “I didn’t hate it.”
“What?”
“The kiss. You said I had to be honest and tell you what I thought: I didn’t hate it.” Link said, his hands casually folded behind his back as he leaned on the door.
The laidback attitude confused Rhett, but he was increasingly intrigued, “Okay.”
Rhett watched Link think for a moment, “But maybe you could put some lip balm on, I was tasting whatever it was Jordan ate and that wasn’t fun. I’d give it a five out of ten.” Link grinned mischievously at him, knowing he was incentivising the performer in Rhett.
Once again, Rhett slowly stood up from the sofa, his face was neutral although his eyes gave away his relief, “Oh, so we’re ranking now.”
“You said be honest. So…you wanna try again?” Link asked, looking around the room for a moment before settling his gaze on Rhett whose face was beginning to morph into a beaming smile.
Link licked his lips and smiled up at Rhett through his eyelashes as the taller man walked over to him.
With an undue amount of swagger, Rhett bridged the gap between them, reached a hand into Link’s jean pocket to pull out his peanut butter and mint flavoured lip balm.
Link inhaled sharply as Rhett’s hand found the small tube and he watched intently as Rhett applied the lip balm. He rubbed his lips together and pocketed the tube, “Yeah, I do.”
Rhett’s large hands cradled Link’s head as their mouths met in a gentle, tender kiss that soon turned heated as Link pulled Rhett closer, his hands tightly gripping Rhett’s waist. Link licked the lip balm off Rhett’s lips provoking a low moan from the back of Rhett’s throat as he kissed Link with increased fervour, his fingers gripping the hair at the back of Link’s head.
“On set in five, guys!” Davin yelled as he knocked on their door, causing the two to jolt apart.
Rhett burst out laughing while Link held his breath as if he could freeze himself, not expecting the reminder that they were at work and that kissing in their office was not what they were schedule to do today.
“Link, breathe. He didn’t hear us.” Rhett was still chuckling but approached his friend to gently rub his shoulders in an attempt to thaw him out of his tense pose.
While his shoulders relaxed, Link’s face remained frozen as if he were struck by a strange thought, “Link, hello.”
“Hm?” The smaller man blinked up at him dazedly.
Rhett withheld another laugh from escaping his lips, “So, better than a five?”
“Solid six.” Link retorted with a pointed smirk.
Rhett’s ego couldn’t be more bruised, even if Link was messing him about, “Six?!” His hands fell away from Link’s shoulders from the shock.
Link only shrugged in response, “I know, I’m surprised too, I guess you’ll need some more practice to get that rating up.” He took another step towards Rhett to bring them closer together again.
“I guess I will.” Rhett smiled softly and basked in the warmth of Link’s lopsided grin. He was right; a kiss from him changed everything.