Chapter Text
Cold and purple fingers and red cheeks and- shit it was too cold to think. Walking in the Canadian wilderness with both your hands in your flimsy pocket was almost useless, nothing would make you warm.
Not after 3 days, not after crashing your plane, not after starving in the forest. You were surprised you were even standing at this point.
The emergency blanket was around you, the thin material blocking the wind in some places but not enough to let you get an ounce of sleep.
“Felix.”
You turned your head down to the ground, Rooster was in the messed up cockpit that was left of his plane. It served as a type of shelter for the both of you in this cold environment. It wasn’t doing much in your opinion but it helped so you guys stayed.
“You need to save your energy."
You shrugged your shoulders, not finding his argument very convincing.
“I need to stay warm.”
“And you’re using the last of that body fat walking in circles like that. Come here and stop being so fucking stubborn.”
Rolling your eyes you gave into the man and walked over to him, making yourself comfortable next to him and wrapping the emergency blanket around the both of you.
You weren’t new with these situations, you’d crashed your plane a thousand times which only got you your call sign of being the “echo” of your dad’s antics. You hated that your call sign was only there to compare you to your dad but you’d grown to like it. Show them that you can be just as strong and determined as him as well.
You’d shown them that you were worthy of being a fighter pilot and it got you here. Not called back at top gun but stranded in the middle of the Canadian northern forest with you childhood best friend Rooster.
How did he crash? You had no clue but you were both thankful that you weren’t alone and cursed every deity that ever existed that they brought him down with you.
Maybe if he’d make it back you would have been home by now. He would’ve fought tooth and nail for someone to rescue you.
But he was down here with you, and the only person that was aware of this mission was Cyclone and you knew that he would not risk a rescue to try and find you when both of your radios were off and your Esets were destroyed in the crash. You had no way of being located so to the rest of the world, you guys were both dead.
Has your dad been told yet? Was Kazansky aware of this situation? It's been 3 days now and snow isn’t enough to keep you hydrated anymore.
Plus you knew that your hearing aids only got a couple of hours max on them left. The first beep was 30 minutes ago so if you calculated right you have 2 hours and a half before the world goes quiet.
“Do you think they actually care enough to send rescue?”
It was a rhetorical question. You knew they didn’t. You guys weren’t important enough to be sent something as a rescue chopper when you were both unfindable.
Rooster was the hope between you two, he had enough of it to share with your logical and dead brain, yet when you asked the question after days of fighting every cell in your body to keep you alive. He was… less encouraged.
“They should. The reason why we got sent on this mission is because we’re the best of the best.”
You shrugged, shoulders slumping next to him and as a reflex he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. Any heat will help.
“But do they care?”
He squeezed your shoulder before slipping his arm lower and around your waist so he could grab both your hands together and heat them up on your lap.
“Mav cares.”
You smiled, thinking about the last dinner you four had before the mission. Kazansky even joined. It was a nice surprise.
It was a memory that warmed your heart, even if you were embarrassed most of the night because your dad had told the story of how you drunkenly gushed about Rooster the night you came home after your first flight in the air the year before.
It had turned you beat red and Bradley was trying his best to ignore the little details about the love part.
You hated that moment, yet right as you were finally feeling the repercussions of your little walk in the snow, the memory was a warm and comforting thing to hold onto.
“Uncle Ice cares.”
You hummed, closing your eyes and nodding along to his points.
“They have no control over anything though.”
It's true, after Kazansky’s surgery he had stepped down from his position so he could live a good life and enjoy the rest of it with his kids and wife.
But his kids were dying in the freezing forest somewhere in Canada and he had lost both his job and his family.
Your dad couldn’t do anything, he was threatened to be grounded almost everyday so you bet your ass that he had no say in whether or not you guys would be rescued.
Even if both of them tried, they couldn’t do anything.
“They still care.”
They still care.
Even if you guys do end up dying you’ll have people who cared, people who would have fought tooth and nail for you guys if they had the chance. People who thought of you as their own kids. It didn’t matter that your mother had left, it didn’t matter that both Bradley’s parents died. Ice and Mav had always been there for you guys when you needed them.
And then you had your friends, like Fanboy and Phoenix and Bob and Payback and Coyote and damn, even Hangman. All of them would care, even if they denied it, even if they ignored it, it would still sting like the frost is stinging your ears and fingertips. The pain of losing you both would sting and maybe even hurt for those who really cared.
“Do you think our funeral is going to be full?”
He shook his head.
“Don’t say that.”
“Have we already been pronounced dead?”
“Felix don’t. Say. that.”
“Bradley, we're already dead to them. Can’t you see that?”
The hope was flickering, it came back strong but when it left it was nothing but void of terror and sadness that Bradley Rooster Bradshaw refused to let take over. He will not let that side of hopelessness take over his life again. It already took so much.
“They’re not coming back.”
“Who says that?”
He won't.
“I do."
You will. You will let reality hit you. You’d rather accept it and move on then hold onto false beliefs that will bring nothing but misery. You used to hold hope and keep it close to your heart like a shield but when it left you and never came back you ended up letting hope go as well.
“They’re not coming back Bradley.”
It was whispered, pained, hurt in every syllable pronounced.
“Yes they are.”
He will not- he won't- no.. they can’t just give up like that.
“Bradley, look at me.”
You took your frozen hand and used it to turn his head in your direction. He acted so much like your father, even when he would deny it most of the time. He clenched his jaw just like him and god you’d be lying if he didn’t look adorable while trying to mimic him.
This wasn’t adorable, and he didn’t look cute. He looked hurt and about to cry and it took every fiber in your body to not break down right then and there with him.
“I’m sorry.”
He nodded, biting his lip and kissing your forehead before bringing you closer. The man took your folded legs and placed them over his own before pulling you to him. He saw it in your eyes, how you were trying to be kind while breaking his last string of hope. He felt it in your hug and how your hand dropped from his cheek to behind his neck as you started rubbing circles with your thumb. He sensed it in your ragged breathing that you didn’t want to go through this either.
Everything was so cold.
So
So
Cold…
“I love you.”
It slipped out before you could stop it. It slipped out before your dehydrated brain could focus enough to tell you to shut up.
“I love you more.”
This didn’t feel right. This didn’t feel like a confession. This felt like a-
A goodbye.
A farewell to an old friend, a promise to never let go, a last thing before everything goes black.
“I love you most.”
Head tilted against his chest to get even closer, maybe melt into him because in this freezing desert of ice he was the only light of warmth that was procured.
Bradley held you tighter, the lump in his throat stopped the words from coming out so instead he just held you as close as he could. To show you he was never going anywhere.
You’ll live.
It was a silent promise that he slipped into your heart with his touch. You didn’t believe it, not one second. But maybe you’ll give it to him now that your vision is blurring. You’ll give it to him while you’re slipping away from his reach like sand.
Your heart broke and held onto the hope he was giving because the world wasn’t quiet yet. You could still hear and you haven’t stopped breathing. You’ll accept your fate when it comes but his heartbeat was too strong to just let go.
No.
You’ll live.