Work Text:
It was never usually this hard. Usually I could just get something down, but…
I sighed, the pen in my hand shaking as I gripped onto it in frustration. I couldn’t even keep my eyes on the blank paper. It was a pitiful sight. As my mind seemed to get farther and farther from my body, it felt as if the walls closed in, as if I was stuck in my own room, isolated from society… I just wanted to vanish, at that exact moment, to dissipate into nothing.
Tears welled in my eyes, grasping at my eyelashes before they helplessly fell. I couldn’t help but think that I was absolutely worthless, just some waste of space who will eventually vanish, forgotten. Eventually, I choked out sobs.
"I don’t want to try anymore!" I forced the words out, between sobs. “I can’t do it! I just want to go..!!”
My sobbing grew more intense as I swiped my homework to the side, barely staying on the desk. I could no longer focus. Who even cares if it gets done or not? It’s Friday anyways… Friday, supposed to be a happy day..
But here I was, sitting at my desk, my hands over my eyes as I cried. I didn’t want to bother my friends once more, so I would have to suffer with it all alone.
"Mafuyu!” A voice suddenly sounded from the doorway. “I came here to give- Huh?"
I slowly raise my head up, looking at the figure in the doorway. It was Ena. What a great time to be here. She's holding a ziplock bag, which seemed to be carrying food, but…I don't feel like eating, I feel like dying.
"...Go away." I mutter, my voice raspy. But Ena doesn’t budge, her gaze slowly turning more worried by the second.
"Mafuyu, I won't," She stands her ground, still looking at me. I want to look away, but my eyes move by themselves, meeting her gaze. Her eyes… they’re beautiful and brave. Mine are dull, wet, and utterly pathetic. “I don’t want that beautiful gaze to be stained with tears.” Ena spoke, sighing anxiously. She slowly walked over to me, holding something out. It’s a handkerchief.
Why is she here? On Fridays, she’s typically painting, but instead, she’s here. While thinking, I place the handkerchief on my face and wipe off tears. I’m not sure how relief feels, but with her… the weight on my chest feels lifted.
"As you know, I always spend Friday’s painting, but… Today I just wanted to spend it with my cute girlfriend Mafuyu." She smiled, placing a hand upon mine.
"C-cute?" I stutter, the corners of my mouth rising to reveal a soft smile. I almost never smile when I'm alone, or even with Miku in the sekai… but, now, all I want to do is smile.
“Your smile is gorgeous,” Ena smiles wider herself, pulling Mafuyu out of her chair. “Aha, You should smile more~ Here, I have some food, let’s eat it here!” She lifts the baggie of food, offering it to me. I take it and slowly open it, revealing homemade sandwiches and cookies.
"This is..very nice of you, Ena."
We placed the sheet on the ground of my room. I turn on the lights, blinking excess tears away as we slowly eat. Eventually, we finished, placing the empty plates to the side, upon the abandoned homework. Ena looked up at me once more, excitement in her eyes.
"Hey, I have an idea, we should go outside!" She offered. I hesitated, but.. With Ena, it didn’t sound like such a bad idea.
"S-Sure! Let's go!"
This was one of the few times I felt genuine happiness going outside… maybe because i was going with someone I cared about. We unravel a picnic sheet, Ena pulling out yet another styrofoam box of food for us to enjoy. She slowly opens it, revealing 4 fluffy pancakes, stacked into two. I didn’t know Ena liked pancakes…
"P-Pancakes..!" I exclaimed, examining them closer.
"Do you not like them?" Ena asked, her eyebrows tilting. I quickly shook my head.
"No, no, they’re great."
Ena chuckles, placing the two stacks on separate plates.
"I know you're used to usually eating cheesecakes with me, right? So I hope you don’t mind.."
"I don’t at all… I want to try this, anyways."
Using my fork, I scoop up a bit of the pancake, popping it into my mouth. The fluffy texture, combined with the taste of sprinkles and chocolate… It was all balanced perfectly, turning what would be a typical chocolate-pancake taste into a delightful one. It was delectable. It was palatable. It was scrumptious. It was…
I quickly shove another bite into my mouth, Ena taking a bite too.
"So, I see you like them?~" Ena teased, giggling. She wasn’t wrong though. They were amazing.
"They're..exceptional. I love them."
Ena laughs once more before finishing her pancake, me finishing my own. After realizing I had finished, Ena pulled one last thing from the baggie- two drinks, orange juice and mountain dew.
"Which do you want?" She asked, holding up the two. I hadn’t had mountain dew before… and I wasn’t really willing to try it.
"Oh, I'll take the orange juice." I said, grabbing the drink as she offered it.
"Of course you will. Just as I thought."
I looked back up at her, who was now taking a sip from the mountain dew. I didn’t realize she liked mountain dew… It didn’t seem like a very “Ena-esque” drink, but who was I to judge? I take a sip of my orange juice, sighing happily. It all felt so nice… Even the small talk, which I typically struggled with. Before we knew it, the sky grew darker.
“We should head back,” I state, looking up at the setting sun. Ena nods.
"How about we go to my house? Akito is hanging with the Kamiyama crew and my parents are at work, so we won't be bothered."
I nod. "Let's go, then."
As we stand up, Ena grabs a hold of my hand, and I keep my grip on hers as we walk back to her house. Once inside, we prepare for bed, Ena lending me her pajamas. They were more comfortable than mine, so I didn’t mind… It seemed as if we were going to hold an unplanned-sleepover.
“Ahaha, Mafuyu, you look adorable in my clothes!” Ena mentioned, smirking. She was right. Ena had much more of a style than I, and that even applied to her pajamas.
“Thank you..” I muttered, fidgeting with my hair. “Before we get into bed, can I..”
“Hm?” Ena questioned, tilting her head at me as my voice trailed off. Though I hesitated, I finally asked…
“Ena-chan, I want to hug you.”
Ena giggles.
"Of course. Come here, Mafuyu-chan!"
As Ena holds me, we fall onto the bed, tucking into the sheets. My head is on her chest, her hands running through my hair. The sheets are warm and comfortable… in contrast to my stiff and cold bed. She’s so cute… Suddenly, she reaches for something on the desk, her hand returning with two airpods. She places one in my ear, the other in hers. She looks at me, and I nod, causing her to smile. Soon, music starts playing in my ear… The notes are calming. The song is “Don’t Fight the Music” by Chroma- she knows it’s one of my favorites. I smile, too, letting the calming music run through my mind. The night sky shines above us, the moon peeking through the window. As Ena’s eyes close, I slowly reach up and kiss her cheek, before soon falling asleep myself.