Work Text:
Hiyori was never the type to fall in love. He hated romance and according to others around him, that was a surprising fact about him. He didn’t think he’d fall in love anytime soon— that was until he fell in love with the Sazanami Jun; him out of all people. It’s not that Jun was someone un-date-able, it's just that Jun wasn’t his type at all. It came out of nowhere!
Hiyori isn’t oblivious. His feelings had started off small, nothing to worry about; he found himself feeling fuzzy whenever Jun was with him but that wasn’t anything unusual to him. But it grew as time went on, it manifested into him feeling warm and jumpy whenever Jun was around— very unusual. He ran his way home that day and searched up all his symptoms; he remembers gasping dramatically and falling out of his bed. Love?! No way! Not with Jun!
———
At first he thought he could just shove down these stupid feelings but the idea of Jun being with someone else made his heart ache.
“I hate my life.” Hiyori mumbled after slamming his head down onto his desk, making a loud thud. It’s been exactly 5 months since he fell in love with Jun and he can’t help but want to give up. He has tried everything and none of it works! He even read those god-forsaken shoujo manga that he swore he’d never even go near.
He looked over at the journal resting upon his desk and read the title. “A step-by-step guide on how to woo Sazanami Jun”, it read. “Seriously?” he thinks to himself with a deadpan expression. Multiple pages filled with these stupid steps that never worked. With a sigh, he flipped through the pages.
———
Step One: Pretend to trip and fall into his arms (very effective)
Hiyori feels like a fool for even thinking this would work— especially for someone like Jun. But it’s worth trying it out.
The next day at school, all that occupies his mind is falling into the arms of Jun. “Why are you spacing out? You okay?” Jun asks, waving his hands in front of his eyes. “Yeah, I’m all good.” Hiyori smiles, suddenly a mischievous thought pops into his mind; “Are you worried about me?” he teases.
“No, you just look stupid like that.” Jun scoffs. “You are so rude!” Hiyori whines and slaps Jun’s shoulder playfully, earning a chuckle from him. The bell rings and it’s time for them to head back, Hiyori thinks this is the perfect time to launch his plan; he just needs to time it right.
As he walks with Jun, he feels himself become more anxious. What if he doesn’t know how to trip and fall?! His overwhelming thoughts crowd around his mind and as if life can’t possibly hate him more, he ends up tripping for real. He thought maybe Jun would’ve caught him in his arms like a true knight but no. A loud thud sounds throughout the hall and everyone stops to look at him; how embarrassing, he wants to disappear right now. He looks up at Jun and he’s clearly holding in a laugh.
“Are you okay, Ohii-san?” Jun pretends to be polite. Now if anyone else was in Hiyori’s position, they’d think he’s genuinely worried but since he knows the navy-haired male best, he can tell this bastard is stifling a laugh. This is so not romantic. Hiyori stands up and dusts himself off, “I’m alright.” he replies before confidently (and stiffly) walking off to his respective classroom.
So that obviously didn’t go as he planned.
———
Step Two: Wear something nice, something eye-catching!
This was easy, Hiyori always wears nice clothes and a lot of them are eye-catching. The only hard part was getting Jun to notice and compliment him.
That morning, Hiyori wore a button up shirt and figured he should leave the top button undone. After what felt like an hour of him just checking himself out, he attended the date (as Hiyori calls it) he promised to have with Jun.
“Jun-kun!” Hiyori called in a sing-song tone, waving at Jun in an embarrassingly crowded place. “Ohii-san, keep it down. It’s still ten in the morning, you know?” Jun hushed. Hiyori chose to ignore that and was determined to execute his plan for today. Hiyori fake-yawned and stretched his arms. He subtly flexed his biceps in hopes Jun would take notice; but when he saw that Jun wasn’t even looking at him, his face sank and he sighed.
“Are you tired?” Jun asked, looking down at Hiyori. “This is the perfect opportunity!” Hiyori thought silently to himself.
Hiyori nuzzled closer to Jun and allowed his chest to be revealed. This, Jun noticed. Hiyori’s mind suddenly scrambled, what was he supposed to do now?! “Ohii-san, stop moving.” the navy-haired male moved back suddenly and faced Hiyori directly.
Hiyori blushed and closed his eyes, perhaps he was expecting a kiss.
However his thoughts were interrupted by Jun’s hands on his shirt— buttoning it up. “It’s cold.” Jun commented. “You’re kidding me right?” Hiyori thought to himself.
————
Step Three: Compliment him, flatter him!
This was going to be difficult as there was nothing to compliment about Jun’s personality. Maybe he could compliment his eyes? I mean— complimenting someone’s eyes always works right? He could say he loves Jun’s golden eyes and the way they sparkle when he’s excited, would that be weird?
In the end, he decided he should just skip this part.
———
Step Four: ???
This part is scribbled. It must’ve been super embarrassing if he had scribbled this one out and not the others.
———
Hiyori has quite literally tried everything. He has taken advice from many sources, ranging from WikiHow to shoujo manga.
He shut his journal and threw it onto his bed. Tomorrow he’ll be quite busy and he won’t get to spend time with Jun as much; he’s not sure if he’s relieved or upset by this. He just falls asleep and hopes he’ll be able to figure it out the next morning.
———
Hiyori woke up and followed his usual morning routine. He wasn’t looking forward to today at all. He looked at the clock— he was late. Just great, as if life couldn’t get any worse for him! He rushed and nearly tripped with every step he took. Overcome with worry, he unintentionally packed that journal into his bag and left for school. Today wasn’t going to be a good one.
For nearly the entire day, he spent his time running around completing errands; something completely unlike him but he figured he should do something new. Finally, he was able to rest.
He slumped in his chair and drank his water desperately. “Is something wrong? You look troubled.” Nagisa asked, sitting down in the seat across from him. “I’m just tired.” Hiyori groaned.
“Are you not getting along with Jun?” he asks suddenly, making Hiyori snap his neck up to stare at him with wide eyes. “I figured.” he hummed. “No, no! It’s not like that. It’s just…” Hiyori fumbled with his hands nervously. “I noticed you’ve been busy lately, almost like you’re avoiding him. Did something happen between you two?” he said. Based on his mannerisms, Nagisa made it obvious that he wasn’t trying to pry.
“No, it’s just— yeah, you caught me.” Hiyori huffed and sank back into his seat. In truth, Hiyori had been avoiding Jun. He’s been taking errands and volunteering to clean just to get away from the overwhelming feeling he gets with the other man. He hates it. After he failed all of his attempts to woo Jun, he has just given up at this point. What’s love worth anyway?
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Nagisa offered. “No, not rea— wait.” Hiyori sat up quickly and folded his hands on the desk.
“Nagisa-kun, have you ever felt… like your body was going to combust?” now that Hiyori put it into words, it sounded strange. Confusion was written all over the white-haired male’s face.
“I mean— I mean like, have you ever… felt like your heart was going to explode? Especially when you’re around a certain person and you can’t help but feel warm everywhere?” the viridescent-haired man questioned. After a bit of uncomfortable silence, Nagisa spoke,
“I haven’t. But what I’m getting from this is that you’re in lo—” Hiyori stood up quickly from his seat and clasped his hand over Nagisa’s mouth. “Don’t say that out loud!”
The other male nodded slowly and Hiyori removed his hand, “Maybe we can help.”
“We?” Hiyori raised an eyebrow. In response, Nagisa moved his gaze behind Hiyori and it was then that Hiyori realized Ibara had been listening in on their conversation. “No way, you’ll only help if I give you something in return! Someone get me out of here!” Hiyori pleaded but to no avail, he wasn’t rescued.
———
Jun wandered the campus, wondering where Hiyori went. He didn’t tell him anything— in-fact, all of Jun’s messages were left on delivered. He sighed and made his way to Hiyori’s classroom. On the way, he overheard girls talking about the green-haired boy he was looking for.
Just nonsense like:
“I wonder if Tomoe-kun is single.”
“Tomoe-kun is quite popular don’t you think?”
Jun paid them no attention until a voice called out to him.
“Sazanami-kun, do you know if Tomoe-kun likes anyone?” a girl student asked. A pink flush occupying her face.
“Ohii-san isn’t interested in romance. If you were looking to date him, I regret to deliver such news to you.” Jun said, a sincere look painted onto his face. The girl’s expression turned to that of a pout and her friends gathered around her to leave. “Thank you, Sazanami-kun.” and with that the group of women left.
Jun felt evil that he felt satisfied to see the devastated look on her face. He knows he doesn’t have a chance with him either so he’d rather not give others false hope. It’s just how it is. Everyday, Jun reminds himself that Ohii-san isn’t interested and that he shouldn’t get his hopes up for every small thing he would like to believe to be a sign of romantic affection. Jun was viewed as a polite student with good manners but despite that he fails to receive confessions like Hiyori does.
Jun wonders if he’s lovable.
Every single time Jun is approached by a student, regardless of their gender, he already knows what the small conversation will be about: Ohii-san. There are always students asking him if Hiyori is single, if he’s interested in anyone, if he thinks they have a chance with him, and more. It didn’t bother Jun at first, but it got repetitive and annoying, sometimes he contemplates breaking character and risks being seen as an asshole; but he can’t do that so he settles for feeling satisfied to see devastation.
He wonders if he has always been this way.
The first time Jun fell in-love with Hiyori was when they held hands; Hiyori probably doesn’t remember. He knew he was doomed and that he just dug his own grave, and no matter how many times he tried to bury those stupid feelings of his, they’d come right back to him but stronger than before; so he decided to carry them with him.
The day Hiyori fell in the hallway, he wanted to help Hiyori up with his hand. But he knew what that would do to him, so he didn’t hold his hand out. He didn’t wish to feel butterflies dance inside of him, he wanted that feeling to burn out.
The day Hiyori and him were going out for breakfast, he saw the way Hiyori’s expression turned to that of disappointment, he wondered if Hiyori was bored. When he asked if he was tired, Hiyori nuzzled up against him so affectionately and he couldn’t help but feel the flip his stomach did. He noticed Hiyori’s unbuttoned shirt and worried that he’d get cold, so he turned to button it up but— Hiyori had an odd look on his face. His eyes were closed and there was a light dust of pink under them. What was he expecting? A kiss?
Jun smiled to himself and proceeded to button up his shirt, ignoring the small screams in his head begging him to plant a kiss on Hiyori’s face. He knew he couldn’t go that far, he didn’t want to dig himself a deeper grave of false hope.
———
Jun reached the classroom and as he expected, Hiyori wasn’t present.
He sighed and sat in the seat beside Hiyori’s. He looked over at Hiyori’s bag and noticed a small journal poking out. Did he leave it unzipped? Jun thought he could do Hiyori a tiny favor by putting it back in and zipping it up, so he reached for it and that’s when he noticed bits of the journal’s title: “—nami Jun” was all he could see. But that was enough to pique his curiosity, with a crumb of hesitation, he pulled it out and read the cover.
He felt guilty for reading through his journal without permission but since it had his name on it, he couldn’t help it. But as soon as he read the title, he regrets ever taking it out of the bag.
“A step-by-step guide on how to woo Sazanami Jun”, Jun felt his heart flutter and his face became warm— surely this is just a misunderstanding right? Hesitantly, he opened it up.
“Step One: Pretend to trip and fall into his arms (very effective)”, it read. Jun felt his hands begin to tremble, what the hell was this?! He gulped and continued to read the contents.
He felt lighter and lighter as he read each word. There’s no way Ohii-san wrote this— but it’s his handwriting! He doesn’t know if anything in this journal is true but there is one irrefutable fact and it is that Hiyori wrote this. The journal’s contents were that of a guide and small notes of Hiyori reportedly having “heart-throbbing” dreams about Jun.
He couldn’t read this any longer— he will go crazy. As soon as he closes the journal, the door to the classroom is swung open.
“Jun-kun, I can— I can explain!” Hiyori rushes over and takes the journal, protecting it in his arms as if it were an extra-special possession of his. Jun doesn’t know how to react at the moment, should he believe Hiyori’s words or should he not give himself false hope? Is this even false hope? The first idiotic decision Jun has ever made in his entire life was getting up to leave.
“Jun-kun, wait—” Hiyori grabs Jun’s hand and he stops in his tracks. Jun feels the heat rushing to his face, he can’t face Hiyori right now— not like this. He tugs his arm away in an attempt to break away from the other man’s grasp; but as he expected, Hiyori’s grasp tightens.
“Stop trying to walk away!” Hiyori whines. In one swift motion Hiyori pulls Jun towards him and traps him against the wall between his arms. Now facing Hiyori, Jun can see the crimson blush that painted the other man’s delicate face. “Jun-kun I…” Hiyori tries to speak, his bubbling anxiousness was getting the better of him.
Hiyori can’t believe himself. He accidentally packed that stupid journal, he didn’t intend for the navy-haired male to find out this way. Now that he thinks of the journal, he recalls step four of the guide. This thing referred to as “kabedon”. That is absolutely embarrassing, no wonder he scribbled it out! His mind scrambles again and he finds himself unable to find the right words to say to the man in front of him.
“Ohii-san, you don’t owe me an explanation. We can go about our life pretending that this didn’t ha—”
“No!” Hiyori blurted out.
“Jun-kun, I don’t know if you take this as a joke but I really…” after the lessons he received from Nagisa and Ibara, he thought he’d look cool while confessing but this entire situation proves him wrong. This is nothing like the lessons he was taught! All those shoujo manga he read has done nothing but embarrass him his entire life.
Eventually Jun will get tired of waiting and will walk out, so he has to make it quick. With whatever courage he has, he spills out all of his feelings for Jun to see.
“Whenever we’re together, I feel like I’m exposed to you and my heart starts to feel like it’s going to leap out of my chest. That guide is so embarrassing, I made it a while back when I started to like you so please don’t think of it too much— I mean, everything in there is true but it’s embarrassing that you saw and read it! I wanted to show you so badly that I’m… in love with you. I feel like I’m going to melt whenever you touch me and then I get this ache in my chest when I imagine you being with someone else. I won’t accept it if you get with someone else, you hear me? I want you to be the happiest, I want to see your smile and as selfish as it sounds, I wish to be the reason why you’re smiling. I want to be the reason why your heart flutters, I want to be your boyfriend!” Hiyori confessed almost in one breath.
An uncomfortable silence passed and if Jun didn’t say anything in the next three seconds, Hiyori will jump out of the window and bolt home.
After what felt like an eternity, Jun breathes out a laugh. His laughing grows louder and Hiyori can’t help but open his eyes to take a look; and he was the prettiest person he had ever seen. His face had gone red, whether it was from laughter or embarrassment, he didn’t know. Was his confession that funny? For a split second, Hiyori wondered if Jun was playing a sick prank on him.
“Ohii-san, I’ve always wanted to hear that from you. I thought you grew a distaste for me because you were avoiding me. I love you too idiot.” Jun confessed, holding the taller man’s hands in his own. Hiyori’s worried expression evaporated and he felt a rush of adrenaline run through him. “Are you— are you sure? Are you for real?” Hiyori stammered.
Jun smiled softly and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss upon Hiyori’s lips. “You looked like you wanted a kiss the other day.”
Now that it turned out this way, Hiyori doesn’t regret bringing that awful journal with him. For Jun, all that mattered now was that he was holding the one he longed for in his arms. Only for him. Hiyori is only for him and he is only for Hiyori, and that’s how it would stay .