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Eddie fucked up. Eddie is man enough to admit when he fucks up and he fucked up.
“Who wants to make fifty bucks?” Eddie asked, skidding into the living room. He grabbed onto the doorframe on his way in to stop him from sliding too far and ending up falling. Again.
His housemates gaped at him. Eddie caught a glimpse of his reflection in the window and... yeah. He hadn’t looked this crazed since Vecna. Robin and Chrissy were sprawled on the couch, Nancy in the chair, and Jonathan was lying flat on his back on the floor. There wasn’t exactly anywhere to hide in the room if none of them agreed.
“How?” Nancy asked.
“I need someone to take the fall,” Eddie said quickly.
“Oh my god...” Steve’s voice came down the hall from the bathroom.
“What did you do?” Jonathan sat up, absolutely delighted, the dick.
“I can’t tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.”
“Oh my God!” Steve yelled. Eddie was so dead.
“Make it a hundred.” Robin said, trying to hold back her laughter.
“Deal!” Eddie lunged across to the couch to shake her hand.
“Cash up front, Munson.”
Eddie ran to his lunchbox in the kitchen, scrambling to get the bills to fling back at her before Steve made it to the living room. His voice was getting higher, louder, and closer by the second.
In Eddie’s defence, he hadn’t started it. That award, surprisingly or perhaps not, went to Miss Cunningham. It had started simple enough, she had switched out the sugar and the salt. Since Eddie and Nancy were the only ones who drank coffee with sugar in the morning (Steve and Jonathan took it black, and Robin described herself as naturally caffeinated), they had fallen victim to it first, and swiftly vowed vengeance. Chrissy had recruited Robin to her side, and it was off.
So far, neither Steve nor Jonathan had taken part or been the victim. Eddie suspected on Jonathan’s side it was the memory of having a prank war when your sister had actual superpowers. In Steve’s case, Eddie thought it was probably fear of having either team turn on him.
The rules were simple: There were no rul-
No, the rules actually were simple:
People caught in the crossfire were unfortunate, but no targeting anyone not involved.
No recruiting the kids. (Again: actual superpowers. Plus Max had a wicked sense of humour, Will knew how to cut to the core of someone, Mike had once won a prank war against Nancy but neither of them will ever speak of what happened, Dustin had Suzie, and the Sinclairs had so much blackmail material already)
No fucking with anything actually important. (No messing with engines or gas tanks, no touching anyone’s instruments, no harming any records or cassettes - not that anyone would do the last one since Vecna).
No using anyone’s trauma against them.
The most recent prank had been Chrissy and Robin filling the bedroom Nancy, Eddie, and Steve slept in with cups of kool-aid. Literally filling it. Eddie didn’t even know they had that many solo cups, nevermind how they managed to fill the room without any of them waking up. Credit where credit’s due. It had been an absolute nightmare because they couldn’t spill a single one without risking dyeing the entire carpet red.
Which was how Eddie had gotten the idea for his most recent prank. It was flawless. Everyone mostly had their own products in the shower. A mixture of personal preferences, specific needs, and what they were used to. The only two who regularly shared shampoo and conditioner were Robin and Chrissy, who had bonded their first grocery trip over using the same kind.
The issue had come about twenty minutes ago.
“Eddie, can you add my conditioner to the grocery list? I forgot I’m out. I’m gonna use Robin’s again, but I still need to get mine.” Steve had called over his shoulder as he went into the bathroom. Eddie had hummed his agreement and thought nothing of it.
That was until he had heard the water stop, and a faint, what the hell from the bathroom and remembered. Luckily, Eddie had had about a minute head start while Steve waited for the steam to clear enough for him to get his glasses and verify what Eddie already knew.
Steve stormed into the living room. All eyes were instantly on him as Robin hastily shoved the money into her pocket. There was absolute silence in the room for a solid ten seconds as they all stared at Steve as his eyes cut to each of them in turn.
“Why the hell,” Steve started, almost over-enunciating in his anger, “is my hair fucking blue?”
“I did it!” Robin, to her credit, yelled instantly. “I turned your hair blue! I... uh... thought it was time for a change, you know? And you’re always saying what a great colour blue is, but I thought, you know, Steve is never gonna do this for himself so I’ll do it for him! So I- I mean, what I did was, I put hair dye in your stuff. Do you not like it or-”
“Rob,” Steve cut her off, “I used your conditioner. Why the hell would you put hair dye in your conditioner?” And... shit. Eddie hadn’t thought of that. Yeah, this was falling down around his ears already.
“Baby...” Eddie started in his sweetest voice, and Steve turned to glare at him, face unimpressed. Eddie broke immediately. “I totally forgot until you were already done with your shower, I swear. It was meant for those two menaces. And, to be fair, it probably wouldn’t have been as bright if you just washed your conditioner off normally rather than hanging around for fifteen minutes or whatever.”
“Oh I’m sorry, are we arguing that this is my fault?!”
“Well, not entirely, just the brightness-”
“Dude,” Jonathan broke in, “quit while you’re not even ahead, man.”
That seemed to be the final straw for Nancy, who started laughing so hard Eddie was worried she was going to hurt herself. Steve whipped around to glare at her too, slightly blue water droplets flying out from his still damp hair. That was it for the rest of them, cracking into howls of laughter.
A few minutes later, they were still laughing, tears streaming down their faces, and clutching at their stomachs. Steve, the only one not laughing, had stormed out to finish drying his hair. Eddie actually thought this might be how he would die. He had his arms around himself, trying to stop the painful stitch, and yet could not stop laughing. Steve eventually came back in, hair dry but flat and unstyled. He unceremoniously pulled Jonathan upright and out of the room.
“Come on, Byers. Let’s see what prank wars with El and Will taught you.”