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Country to popular belief, Tony remembered people’s names, at least a majority of the time.
His use of nicknames was a way to show people how much he cared. Anyone could call you by your given name, but a personalized nickname, that was a way to make someone feel really special.
Tony was careful about nicknames, while most of them were off the cuff, he knew exactly when to be funny and when to be caring with it. It was, in Tony’s opinion, a badge of honor to get a Tony Stark nickname.
Which is why the name just slipped off his tongue without a single thought.
Peter had been working at the lab table next to him, books everywhere, his pen scribbling on his paper, head down and invested. He’d been studying for nearly two hours, barely making a sound since he walked in. The kid was in the middle of finals, seeming stressed far more than Tony had ever seen him.
He’d been spending more time at home too, skipping out on their lab days in favor of studying even more. It took Tony awhile to convince him to come over tonight, instead of staying at home. They made a compromise, Peter would come over after school, study for a bit, stay the night, and then on Saturday, they’d spend the day doing lab work, a nice relaxing day.
“What do you think about dinner?” Tony’s stomach had been rumbling for a while now and he knew the kid had to be hungry too. He powered his way through a bowl of popcorn earlier, but hadn’t made a peep about wanting anything else.
Not looking up from his work, Peter answered. “Uh, not right now, I really want to finish this review sheet.”
“Come on, Petey, I know you must be hungry,” Tony prodded, coming closer to the kid’s table. “May could kill me if I don't properly feed you.”
“Food can wait, Mr. Stark. If I want to keep my perfect GPA I can’t get lower than a 95 on this test. I need to stay focused on finishing this review sheet,” Peter answered, still not even looking at Tony.
“Kid,” Tony pressed, not feeling too bad about it pushing him. The kid needed to relax sometimes. “You’re a genius, I think you’ve got this.”
Peter snorted but didn’t say anything else, pen still scratching against his paper, eyes glued to his book.
Tony continued anyway, all in good fun. “You’re a regular Einstein, kid. And even he took breaks to have some fun.”
Peter’s pen stopped on the paper, his body suddenly going very taunt. There was a small hitch in Peter’s breathing, but after a second, he exhaled.
Tony smirked, getting the kid to stop writing was a good thing.
“Come on kid, let’s go and have some fun instead of,” Tony waved his hand over the lab table, “this stuff.”
Peter still hadn’t moved, but his pen fell from his hand onto the table, rolling away. Tony came closer, his hand instinctive going to Peter’s shoulder in a move he’d done a million times before.
But this time was a little different, before he could make contact, Peter jolted off the lab stool and put a good three feet in between them. He was standing with his back to the wall, eyes looking around the room before landing back on Tony. His face was pale, all color drained.
“Woah, Petey, you okay?”
“Y-y-yeah, sorry uh, you just uh, s-s-tarlted me. My uh, spidey sense uh, just, went off but um, I’m uh, fine, yeah. You know what? You’re right, um, we should eat now, okay? Let’s go.”
There was a moment when Tony thought something was wrong. Peter never acted this scared and nervous but after a moment, Peter seemed to relax, his shoulders dropping, the color flushing back to his face. Whatever tension that had filled the room, slowly diffused.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Is something wrong?”
Shaking his head, a little too much, Peter bit at his bottom lip. “No. Like I said um, I must be a lot hungrier than I thought.”
“Okay, I’ll have FRIDAY put in the normal pizza order and we can retire to the lounge?”
Peter smiled, nodded, and then turned out the door, leaving all of his things behind. Tony followed behind him, surprised to see Peter already in the elevator, catching up right before the door closed.
As he stepped in, Peter crowded himself in the corner, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking anywhere but at Tony. “You sure you’re okay, kiddo? Is Peter Tingle bothering you?”
Peter shook his head, eyes on the floor. “Um, no, sir. I'm just tired from studying, that's all.”
Tony blinked. “Sir? Geez, kid, it’s bad enough I can’t get you to call me Tony! I think I prefer Mr. Stark to sir.”
Peter nodded his head, it bobbled on a little too much again and his body language screamed feeling uncomfortable. Before Tony could question it further, the elevator opened and Peter made a quick exit, nearly at the end of the hallway before Tony even stepped out.
When he arrived in the living area, Peter was curled up on the far end of the large couch. He looked much younger than Tony had ever seen him. Sitting with his legs up, chin on his knees, and arms wrapped around them, he was a perfect little ball.
Tony sat on the opposite side of the couch, getting the feeling that Peter didn’t want him anywhere near him right now. There’d been a few times he’d seen Peter like this before, slightly distant and a little unsure. It was usually after he’d had a sensory overload, an intense headache from too much of the world.
Usually, Peter would say something, mentioning he wasn't feeling well but Tony didn’t want to press him about it now. He came in looking a little stressed, Tony just assumed the lack of food was just making his mood a little sourer.
The kid always told him what was wrong, eventually, Tony just had to be patient about it.
Reaching for the remote, Tony smiled. “I’ve got something special for us to watch tonight.”
Peter didn't say anything, his head squished down behind his knees as if he was hiding. Tony swore his knuckles looked completely white as if he was squeezing onto his knees too hard.
“You sure you’re okay? We don’t have to watch anything right now. If you just want to go to bed-”
“No!” Peter said, a little manic, shaking his head back and forth again. “No, I’ll watch the movie, it’s okay. Just hungry, Mr. Stark.”
Tony flipped through the menu, selecting the movie he had queued up a while back. “I know you said you’ve seen a lot of older movies,” Tony said, putting the words in quotation marks. “But I don’t think you’ve seen this one.”
He selected The Last Starfighter, thinking Peter would absolutely love it. As the movie started, Tony tried not to look over at Peter too much, eyeing him only a few times. The kid started to relax, just a little. He took his knees down, still pushed up in the corner, but eventually he spread out a little more.
-
By the time dinner arrived Peter was looking a little more like himself. He wasn’t talking nearly as much and Tony wasn’t sure if he was even watching the movie.
But it was fine, whatever Peter needed Tony was ready to give him.
The five pizza boxes took up the entire table, Peter stayed on his end, putting two pieces on a plate before going back into his corner. Tony took some of his own, eyes still watching Peter.
“You sure you’re alright, kiddo? You’ve not really been eating or enjoying the movie. If you would rather go back to school work, that’s fine. I just don't want you to burn out,” Tony said truthfully.
Peter let out a long sigh, a plate of half eaten pizza balanced on his knees. “It’s okay, sorry, Mr. Stark. I’ve been studying a lot and I think I’m just… I’m tired.”
“Then why don’t you go to bed then, Pete? Like I said, even Einstein rested a little.”
Peter flinched so hard, the plate of pizza fell to the ground.
“Shit,” Tony said, rushing forward to pick it up, Peter, on the other hand, jumped over the back of the couch, landing on his butt just as Tony got to the plate. “Pete, what the hell?”
Looking over the edge of the couch, Peter sat on the ground, very clearly hyperventilating. “Shit, Pete, do you need to go to the medbay? Is something wrong? Are you hurt?”
Forgetting the pizza, Tony went to walk around the couch, but Peter was back up on his feet in an instant. “No, no, sir, no thank you. I’m going to…” he started, hands shaking, looking like he was having a very intense panic attack.
“Peter, please, just breathe, okay? Can you sit-”
“No,” Peter said, shaking his head. He sobbed a little, clearly holding back tears. “Can I go to bed?”
Everything in Tony’s brain told him to find out what was wrong, to make Peter sit and talk. To calm him down, give him some comfort. But at the same time, Tony could remember his panic attacks, not wanting too many people overwhelming him. Peter was just burnt out and tired, a good night’s sleep would be helpful.
“Of course, you can. If you need anything, come find me or let FRIDAY know.”
Peter gave him a very forced smile, before running out of the room, leaving Tony with too much pizza and too many questions.
-
When Peter started spending the night, Tony had created a protocol for waking Tony up if Peter was in any kind of distress. May had tipped him off on Peter’s tendency to have nightmares when he was too tired and too stressed out. He’d had a few over at the Tower in the past, FRIDAY would let him know and Tony would wait it out, not wanting to bother the kid unless he was needed.
Most of the time FRIDAY would tell him Peter woke up, got water, and stayed up for a bit before falling back asleep. No intervention even needed, it seemed like the kid could take care of himself when he needed to.
Tony was almost expecting FRIDAY's alert in the middle of the night, but what he wasn’t expecting was what FRIDAY told him.
“Peter’s having a nightmare, he doesn’t seem to be waking up, his heart rate has risen and he has had an accident.”
“Accident?” Tony echoed, half asleep and stumbling out of bed. Pepper mumbled something next to him, opening one eye. “It’s Peter, I got it.”
Pepper nodded. “Let me know if you need me.”
Tony walked into the hallway. “Is he okay, FRI? Is he hurt?”
“Peter appears to be having a panic attack, boss.”
Rushing down the hall, Tony arrived at Peter’s door, waving his hand, but the door didn’t open. “Open, FRI.”
“Peter has locked the door, boss.”
“Unlock it,” Tony said sternly.
“I can not go against Peter’s direct orders to keep the door locked.”
“Shit,” Tony said, leaning against the door he knocked and called out. “Peter, can you let me in? I know you just had a nightmare. I want to come make sure you’re okay.”
“Go away,” Peter’s voice came out, strained, full of tears and pain. “Please, leave me alone!”
“Pete,” he pressed. “It’s Tony, okay? I’m here to help you.”
All Tony could hear was another loud sob, no other answer.
“FRI, Override,” Tony pressed, hating that he had to do this, but Peter’s safety was his utmost concern. “Medical emergency, code 72711.”
It only took a second for the door to open and for Tony to rush inside. He felt terrible disobeying Peter’s request but if the kid was having a panic attack, he needed to help him. He couldn’t let Peter suffer.
Rushing into the room, he stopped when he caught sight of Peter, curled up in a ball towards the top of the bed. His knees were once again brought up to his chest, his head buried in his arms, Tony couldn’t even see his face, just his wild curly hair spilling everywhere.
The smell of urine was so strong, he gagged slightly, now realizing what FRIDAY meant by accident. His mind whirled, couldn't think of anything to say or do, but felt like he had to try something.
“Petey,” Tony said softly, trying to see if he caught Peter’s eye. The door shut behind him, leaving the room’s only light, the moon peeking in through the window. “Please, Petey, it’s Tony. I’m here to help you kiddo.”
“Please,” Peter sobbed. “Skip, please leave me alone.”
“Skip what?”
Peter flinched hard again, slamming his body against his headboard. Tony made an exclusive decision and walked forward, moving around to where Peter was, despite the cries he was making. He reached out, his hand making contact with Peter’s arm, the sobs came louder, but Peter didn’t move away.
“I’m here, Pete, I’m here. Can you try to breathe for me?”
The kid was hyperventilating, body rising with each breath, he took. After a second he peeked his head out from his arms as if he was checking to see if a monster was hiding anywhere.
Tony realized he probably was. He wasn’t an idiot, he hated that it took him this long to realize what was going on, but now it was starting to become clear. Peter’s adverse to touch, scampering anytime Tony came near, and now, the bedwetting, it all told a story, even if Peter didn’t utter a word.
“I know you’re scared right now, but once you can, I think you should change your clothes. You don’t..,” Tony swallowed, hating having to remind Peter of what happened. “You don’t want to be in those wet clothes.”
Peter’s breathing evened out a little, the sobs started to slow down and eventually he nodded his head, peaking it up again, his mouth still covered by his arm, but Tony heard him. “Yeah, I’d… yeah.”
Tony stepped aside, it took Peter a few minutes to unravel and get up from the bed. He was seemingly trying to hide his face from Tony, but he could see his red and blotchy cheeks covered in tears. His hands were shaking still, slight tremors that he looked like he was trying to hide.
“Stay here for a sec, let me grab you some clothing.”
Walking over to the closet, Tony grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, bringing them back over to Peter, who silently took them and walked to the ensuite bathroom. Walking back over to the bed, Tony went to remove the sheets and comforter, throwing them in a pile in the corner of the room. They can be future Tony’s problems, for now, he has more important ones to deal with.
He didn’t think the kid would want to sleep again tonight and if he did, Tony had plenty of other rooms he could take over for the night. The sounds of the shower turning on, made Tony relax a fraction, having wanted to recommend it to Peter, but concerned about the way the suggestion would have sounded to him.
Without much else to do but wait, Tony took a seat at the kid’s desk, looking at the scattered paper and books upon it. The kid was good at organized chaos, he knew where everything was, even when it looked like nothing was in its right place. Tony picked up a notebook. It was opened to a page full of drawings of Peter’s web shooters and scribbled notes on the corners with ideas for upgrades. There was a tiny drawing in the corner of an arc reactor too, just a small sketch that made Tony smile.
It struck Tony, not for the first time, but just how much Peter had engrained himself into Tony’s life. When he first tracked down Spider-man, barged into his apartment, and all but kidnapped him to Germany, he had no idea what kind of person Peter was. Getting to know the kid, however quickly, was a blessing, if Tony was concerned. Peter was kind and smart, he fits so well into Tony’s life, he couldn’t imagine what it was like before Peter got there.
When the water stopped running, he placed the notebook back on the table and waited, trying to figure out exactly what he was going to say, or suggest to Peter.
But when Peter came out, dressed in the new clothing, hair curly and wet, the kid beat him to the punch. “Can uh,” Peter started. “Can we go to the lounge and just, um, talk?”
“Yeah, sure,” Tony said, letting Peter take the lead, following behind him. They walked in silence in the hallway and when Peter entered the elevator, Tony hesitated.
“It’s fine,” Peter said softly, not cowering in the corner like had before, but he still kept his distance when Tony entered. Once they exited the elevator, Peter made his way into the lounge, sitting down on his end of the couch, while Tony sat opposite.
“Do you want something to eat or drink?” Tony asked, trying to sound casual.
“I’m fine,” Peter answered, he was no longer crying, but his face was still a little red and he couldn’t quite meet Tony’s eyes. “I uh, I owe you an explanation…”
“You really don’t,” Tony jumped in. “You don’t have to tell me anything you aren’t comfortable with telling me, Pete. We can just sit here in silence, we can watch a movie, we can do whatever you need me to do. No questions asked.”
Peter finally caught his eye, but for a brief moment before looking down at his hands. “I think… I think I want to tell you. It will make me feel better, you know? Like, just, getting it out there, so we can… so it will be easier.”
“Whatever you want kiddo,” Tony said, realizing just how much he meant it. Peter had the lead here, whatever he wanted to tell Tony, whatever he wanted to do, Tony wouldn’t hesitate. Peter meant so much more to him than just some intern, just some superhero, the kid was family, his family, and Tony would do anything to protect him.
It took Peter a few minutes to speak again, instead, he looked down at his hands, which he couldn’t seem to stop moving around. Finally, he took a deep breath, and a determined look spread across his face. “When I was uh, 9 years old, I had a babysitter.”
Tony’s mouth suddenly went, very, very dry.
“He uh, he was super nice at first, you know? I didn't have many friends and he was my friend. He was um, a bit older than me, in high school already, like 16 or so? Anyway, we uh, we met at the library because I really, really liked going there. May would bring me and I’d go to the kid’s section and hang out by myself. I wanted to be a big kid, you know? Anyway, um, Skip saw me reading a science book and came over and started talking to me. May got to meet him too, she came down to find me. Eventually I’d just like, hang out with him at the library once a week, sometimes more. May and Ben liked him too, which you know, um, well, you know.”
Pausing again, Peter took a few more deep breaths before continuing. “One time when my normal babysitter couldn’t make it, they tried Skip. He was happy to do it, which um, yeah. So he came and babysat me, it was fine the first time,” Peter looked up finally, nodding his head. “It was fun because he liked science and we’d talk about it all the time and he’d play the games I wanted to play, you know? Everything was about me. He made me feel really important and like my ideas and the things I liked were really cool. Because the kids at school didn’t feel that way, they made fun of me because I liked Legos and Skip always wanted to play Legos and he was so much older and it was uh, nice.”
Tony could read between the lines, the kid was being groomed. The asshole, this Skip, was trying to make Peter feel comfortable to do… well, Tony had a good idea at this point but needed to hear it from Peter.
“It wasn’t May and Ben’s fault,” he said quickly. “We all trusted Skip. He didn’t say or do nothing inappropriate around them. They even met his Mom and Dad too and they were nice.”
“It never is,” Tony agreed. “No one’s fault but his, not yours either. People like that, they are really good at pretending to be nice.”
“Yeah well…” Peter trailed, before moving on. “Everything was fine for the first few months, he became my normal babysitter after that. Then um, well, one day he wanted to do something… else. He wanted to show me something, these um, magazines? Of you know, um…”
Peter looked as if he was struggling to say the words out loud and Tony almost stopped him, telling him he didn’t have to but Peter blurted it out a moment later. “Pornography.”
Tony tried to hide his anger, trying so hard to keep his expression open and neutral, letting Peter know it was safe to continue. He could see the shame building up in Peter’s expression and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug him. Tell him not to be ashamed of what happened to him.
“And I didn’t know what it was, not really. But uh, it looked scary but he was always so nice to me, we always did what I wanted to do and I felt bad for saying no to him so we looked at them together. But that wasn’t… that wasn’t all he wanted to do…”
It physically pained Tony to hear what Peter was saying, to know someone took advantage of such a sweet and kind kid. Whoever took the trust he’d built up with him and destroyed it so evilly. Holding back all the rage he was feeling, he forced himself to smile and nod, trying to encourage Peter to continue, to feel safe to tell his story.
“So, um, yeah, he… we touched each other in a not so good way. I hated it, it didn’t feel good but Skip said that was okay. And then uh, yeah, that was it that time. But the more he babysat me… the more he’d push things. And I didn’t tell Ben or May because Skip said it was rude to tell them things. Like, he said it was our secret and if I told them I would break up our friendship, and even though everything he was doing was bad I didn’t want to lose a friend. He was my only friend and I just really wanted him to continue to like me, you know? I know now, it was foolish but back then, it really wasn’t.”
Peter looked up again, a flush of red over his face still. Looking like he wanted Tony to confirm that he understood Peter was only a kid and didn’t know better.
“Sounds like he was really good at manipulating you,” Tony finally said, trying to dodge any potential land mines. “And it’s not foolish, Pete. You really wanted a friend and he took advantage of that.”
“Yeah, that’s what um, Marjorie said, she was the therapist I went to after… after it all happened. And uh, that’s why I can talk about it now, you know? She helped me a lot and it’s easier to just tell people now, so they understand if something happens that uh, it’s just a trauma response. PTSD or whatever. And talking about it, saying his name and uh, just being open will only help make it… not like okay, never okay but easy for me not to have those little moments of panic.”
“I get it,” Tony replied. “You know I’ve got PTSD too, kiddo. It’s a scary thing but I’m glad you were able to talk to someone about it and you got help. I’m really proud of you for that, Pete.”
“Yeah well, uh, so, I skipped ahead a little bit,” Peter said, biting at his bottom lip. “But uh, it escalated after awhile and he um, well, he you know,” Peter paused and in a very small voice said, “raped me.”
It took a lot of effort for Tony not to launch himself at Peter, wrap the kid up in a hug and never, ever let go. Well, only to find the bastard that did this to Pete and burn him to the ground.
“And… and I know you’re probably wondering what uh, what I’m telling you this now and why it um, relates to my freak out yesterday for but um, you uh, you, um, well, Skip had a nickname for me… and it was uh.”
“Oh,” Tony said, realizing what Peter’s trigger was. “Oh, Peter, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.”
“Of course not, because you didn't know and I’m not mad at you or anything. Um, usually I can uh, deal with hearing it because uh, I go to a science school and his picture is literally on the wall but I’ve been stressed with school, and sometimes, well, sometimes I slip up. The more I’m stressed the less I can just go with the flow, you know? My anxiety goes through the roof and I just can’t help but to spiral.”
“Hey, no, this isn’t on you. He did this to you, you're just surviving and that’s okay, Pete. It’s okay to get triggered sometimes, it’s okay to have a panic attack. I just wish… I wish I didn’t make it worse for you.”
Which Tony totally did without realizing it. He tried to touch the kid, invited him alone to the lounge again, and tried to get him to watch a movie. All the innocent things he said now sounded terrible if Peter was only thinking about what that bastard did to him.
“You didn’t know and uh, that’s okay. I should have um, I should have said something or at least, told you I was panicking. I just uh, didn’t want you to um, you know…”
God, his kid thought he would think less of him if he knew and that made Tony’s heart want to shatter into a million pieces. “Never, Peter. I would never, ever think less of you for this. If anything, I think more of you. For how strong you were and are, to deal with that and still want to help people. Pete, you’re amazing, you’re wonderful and I hate that this happened to you.”
Peter nodded his head again. “Thanks.”
“Can I ask,” Tony started. “What happened to him? Is he in jail? Did you press charges?”
“Yeah, uh, yeah, he’s in jail. I uh, I eventually told Ben what was happening. It went on for a while before I did. Took me some time to gain the courage which uh, you kinda helped with. I had this Iron Man mask that made me feel safe and Ben always said when I wore it, I was basically Iron Man too, which is stupid and silly-”
“It’s not,” Tony jumped in. “It’s not at all. If that’s what made you feel safe, then I’m glad it was me, okay? I’m glad I was there for you without even knowing it.”
Something like love and pride swelled in Tony’s heart, for the little boy who was so brave even when he was really scared. It only then did the tears start again in Peter’s eyes, slowly rolling down his cheeks, he wiped his sleeve across his face. “Thanks, Mr. Stark. Thank you for listening to me and understanding.”
“Of course, Pete. Thank you for telling me all of this and I promise, I’ll try my best not to do anything that upsets you again. If I do it by accident, please let me know so I can stop. If you ever need anything, a place to be alone, a friendly ear to listen, you always have me in your corner.”
Peter nodded again, fervently. “And uh, I do feel comfortable with you. I know you won’t… that you’re not like that… yesterday was just… hard to come back from. Which is why I had a nightmare about him again. Like I said before, stress and anxiety, plus a trigger word just kinda makes things go bad. I haven’t had one in a long time, so it was a little harder to deal with. And if I’m honest, I haven’t really seen anyone, a therapist that is, in a while about it. You know, money and stuff was tight after… Ben and stuff.”
“If you want to see someone, I can get you someone and help pay for it,” Tony said, already scrolling through the list of people he knew would be helpful. SHIELD had plenty of therapists available, ready to sign NDAs about anything superhero related. “I can get you someone who would know your identity but keep it a secret.”
“Thanks Mr. Stark, I’ll uh, think about it? Let me talk to May. Like I said, it’s been awhile since I had an episode like this. But I appreciate it.”
“Of course, Pete. I know this might be asking for much, but do you want to come over here for a cuddle?” Tony opened his arms out wide, Peter didn’t even hesitate, he just slid over, arms going around Tony, head against his shoulder. Tony chuckled. “How long have you been waiting to do this?”
“Forever,” Peter said with a giggle. “You look surprisingly cuddly.”
“Oh is that so,” Tony responded, bringing his hand down to tickle Peter’s side. He hoped it wasn’t going to be too much, but to his delight Peter just squirmed away, giggling as he did so. He only tried to tickle Peter for another minute or so, just to hear the kid laughing instead of crying.
When he stopped, Peter seemed to snuggle in, even more, adding a little yawn. “Thank you, Mr. Stark. You’re the best.”
Smiling, Tony pulled the kid in even closer. “Anything for you kiddo.”