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The blood drumming in his ears was almost deafening. Almost enough to drown out the sound of laughter from the Treasure Hoarders as they walked away from him.
Almost, but not quite.
How did things turn out this way? It was supposed to be a simple mission. Just go, confront some thugs about some goods being stolen, bash a few heads if necessary.
All in a day's work for Shikanoin Heizou.
But he never did like resorting to violence, so he gave them one last chance.
And it very well may be the last mistake he ever made.
He tried to call out for help, but no sound came out. He couldn't even move his limbs, or do anything.
That was something the books never got right about hanging. You can't move at all. If you don't die from the fall then you're slowly left being suffocated by your own body weight. Watch as your vision fades away, your body turns cold, and you embrace the inevitable.
Embrace it because anything is better than this agony.
Tears fell from Heizou's eyes as his vision darkened. He didn't know if it was from grief from all of the adventures he wanted to have cut too short, hopelessness from his current situation or just a by-product of his body shutting down.
But, just then, he heard a horrified scream. A voice so, so familiar... why was it familiar again? It was too hard to think.
His vision went black.
---
"Heizou?! Heizou why won’t you respond?! Please, PLEASE answer me-"
The detective announced his presence by gasping for air and immediately pushing the samurai to the side. Air. He needed it. Now.
Kazuha could only watch as his friend desperately tried to get air back into his lungs, before having a coughing fit. He reached out a hand to help Heizou, but after a moment’s hesitation, he quickly withdrew it. He didn’t want to accidentally freak out Heizou or cause him some internal damage, after all.
Heizou was retching and on all fours... but he was alive. His friend was alive. He didn't have to witness another friend die in front of him.
He would make those bastards pay. He had heard what was happening, since he had been wandering relatively nearby. He even knew where they were now. But for now, his aim was to take care of Heizou-
"Water..." Came Heizou's voice, but that one word, barely uttered, sent him into a coughing fit once again.
"I will get you some, please wait-” The treasure hoarders were nearby. Maybe they would come here again to check on Heizou, and as much as he would love to slaughter them all, right now his priority was on making sure that the detective stayed safe and sound.
“... Actually no, you're coming with me." With those words, he scooped Heizou up in his arms and they made their way to the nearest river. Heizou didn’t respond much to the sudden movement, he was too busy groaning with pain. Kazuha needed to apply some salves to his neck as soon as possible and make sure that he received plenty of rest-
One thing at a time, Kazuha.
He placed his friend by the bank and gently lifted some water into his mouth. Heizou drank like a man possessed, demanding for more with a voice that gradually became clearer and clearer. "Careful, try not to drink too quickly..."
"... I'm sorry, Zuzu." Heizou said eventually, his voice still croaked and it still hurt for him to speak but he was significantly better than before. "Had to... save me... I was an idiot."
"Shush, no you weren't." Kazuha replied, gently carding his fingers through Heizou's hair, marvelling at every intake and exhale of breath. Every sign of life, so precious and beautiful.
And so oh-so-very fragile.
"You were trying to do what was right. It was those... monsters who are to blame." He wouldn't call them treasure hoarders because that would imply that they were human.
"Ah, you... heard all of that, huh?" Heizou tried to give what was probably an embarrassed laugh, but it erupted into yet another coughing fit.
"Don't push yourself, you have been through a lot." Kazuha gently chided him, his voice soft and soothing, like the sea on a day with no waves. A glossy mirror reflecting the sky above. Had Heizou had not known that it was Kazuha who had saved him, he would have thought that that voice belonged to an angel… and that he had died, as a result. "Get some rest."
"I'm so sorry..." Heizou blinked tears from his eyes. "I worried you... after everything... everything you've been through."
"How about you focus less on me and more on yourself?" Kazuha never liked the way he talked in moments like these. Like he wasn't important at all. When the fact of the matter was, that he was the most important person in the world to him. "Can you stand?"
"I... I think so-" Heizou got as far as sitting up, before he groaned and clutched his head.
"Nope. Nope. Lightheaded. Nope."
Kazuha quickly caught him as he lost consciousness.
Seemed like he would be carrying Heizou back to his apartment…
—
"Oh good, you're awake again." Heizou was blessed upon awakening by the sound of Kazuha right by him. Kazuha, who was clutching his hands like they were something soft and precious. Kazuha, who must have carried him back home and tucked him into bed, by the feel of things. Tucked him in and applied some ointment to his neck. The smell of mint was particularly strong.
"I made you some soup.” Kazuha continued. “Would you like some?"
Heizou tried to look over at Kazuha, but as soon as he moved even slightly, his neck seemed to burn with pain.
"Hey, shh, don't try to move. Keep still." Kazuha whispered. There was something else that Heizou was missing. Something had changed with Kazuha’s demeanour, the look in his eyes. Something... that must have happened while he was asleep. He was sure of that. But what-oh.
"... You confronted them while I was sleeping, didn't you?" Heizou asked and, man alive, he could say one sentence without coughing his lungs up, yaaay. Sure his voice still sounded damaged to all hell, but he had managed!
Kazuha looked away at Heizou's accusation but then, after a momentary pause, stared straight at him. He shouldn't feel guilt about what he did, he had nothing to hide.
"I did." He admitted. "They deserved everything that they got for harming you. For... trying to take you away from me." Heizou could feel Kazuha's hands shaking, clutched as they were around his own. The realisation of the implications resulting from this gesture made Heizou’s face heat up slightly, but he didn’t want to let go. "So yes. I did confront them. And they will never harm you again."
"Thought as much. You missed a spot." Heizou said, breaking the tender gesture for just a moment to point at a spot just below his ear. Then he immediately returned his hand to its prior spot.
"Oh, how careless of me." Kazuha spoke with the casualness of someone who had experienced many fights within his relatively short life. He licked his finger and dabbed at the dried spot that Heizou had mentioned. "Is it gone?"
"Yeah." Heizou replied, smiling to himself as Kazuha placed his hand on top again.
“... But enough about me, how are YOU feeling?”
“Physically or emotionally?”
“Both.”
“... I’ve been better.” Heizou admitted with a small wince. “You make ONE mistake. Give assholes ONE extra chance to change their ways. Then it bites you in the ass. Or the neck in this case.” He let out a small chuckle.
Kazuha didn’t join in.
“... Sorry for dragging you into this mess. You never should’ve gotten involved and I never wanted for you to get more blood on your hands-”
“Stop talking that way.” Kazuha replied with a hint of ice to his voice. A change so sudden it made Heizou startle. “Stop seeing yourself as a burden - you’re the farthest thing from one. You’re a genius who never gives up on people. Who always tries to see and preserve the good in everyone, no matter how irredeemable the rest of society may view them. You even help out the families of criminals and that takes an incredible amount of courage to do.
So please just… stop.” Kazuha’s whisper was the most heartfelt plea as he placed his forehead on the edge of Heizou’s mattress. “You are so much more amazing and kind than you realise, so stop talking like that. For me if not for yourself. You have saved so many people, and you dishonour them by talking about their saviour that way.”
“Kazuha…” Heizou’s peridot-green eyes shone as he stared at the ronin with a mix of happiness… and a small hint of confusion. “You… really feel that way about me?”
“I always have done.” Kazuha replied simply, his red eyes now facing the detective so intently that it felt like he was staring into Heizou’s soul. “And I always will. You are so wonderful and you should stop seeing yourself as a burden.”
For once, he didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t say anything.
“Well now that that’s over,” Kazuha said with a small tone of victory to his voice, “Is there anything you require? Any food? Any drink? Anything else?”
“... Some water would be nice.” His stomach chose that time to gurgle. “Oh, and some food. And, erm… perhaps a trip to the bathroom.”
“Ah.” Kazuha looked away and stood up. The loss of his hands gently clasping Heizou’s was almost too much for the detective to bear. “We should probably solve that problem first.”
Heizou felt his face practically glow as Kazuha held out his hand to him.
“You have rested for most of the day. Can you stand?”
Well, he wasn’t sure if he could before, but with the prospect of holding Kazuha’s hands for longer looming before him… how could he refuse?
—
It took a while for the detective to recover, but once he did, the Tenryou Commission celebrated his return... and then immediately sent him back to work again.
Heizou couldn't complain.
He had been bored stiff being stuck at home (it was worse when Kazuha wasn't there). He wanted to throw himself into his work again. There were cases to solve and clues to find. So he did.
But it seemed like he worked slower now. More cautiously and meticulously.
It didn't help that everywhere he went, people's eyes would immediately dart down to his neck and back to his face.
Gods, he hated it.
Every time he looked at himself in the mirror, it was like a constant reminder of his mistake slapping him in the face.
The people's pity didn't help, and neither did the fact that, despite everything he told Kazuha and the others... he was scared. Scared of making another mistake like that and with no one to find him in time.
He wasn't an idiot - he knew that Kazuha would leave eventually. And when that happened, well... maybe he didn’t NEED to get himself involved in a situation like that ever again. There were safer options. Less rewarding, but safe.
And he planned to live for a long, long time yet. He didn’t want to deal with that terrible, terrible feeling of the cold seeping into his bones. Crawling deep inside to his heart and squeezing it until nothing else remained. Just a corpse hanging from a tree.
Perhaps now was a time to have a desk job…
---
"So are you serious about this?" Kazuha asked, the breeze flowing through his hair as he stood by Heizou in the port of Ritou. "A desk job? I do not blame you for making this choice, but I must say... it is rather unlike you."
"Honestly, you're probably right." Shikanoin Heizou replied with a small shrug, his olive-green eyes lacking their usual vibrancy. "But that's the thing, I don't know who I am right now. Maybe a change of workplace might do me some good."
"Or maybe it will make you complacent." Kazuha muttered, unaware that Heizou could hear him. Aloud, he said: "I hope you find yourself. And that you... find what you are looking for."
"You and me both." Heizou laughed awkwardly while scratching his head.
"And, before I go, I wanted to give you something..."
With a nervous smile, Kazuha pulled out a box. Heizou's eyes widened as he opened it with shaking hands. The black, studded fabric of the choker wasn't very thick, but it would do the job just fine. Better than fine, actually. Kazuha knew his style really well, apparently. The golden studs and the buckle would compliment a lot of clothes that he had very nicely.
But what shocked him the most was the gesture itself. From Kazuha, of all people. How did he remember that choker that Heizou had seen in passing when he himself had forgotten all about it?
"I know that you're self conscious about that scar, and I saw you eyeing this choker earlier on... so I thought that I would get it for you." Kazuha beamed. "Do you like- oh gosh are you crying?! I am so sorry, I still have the receipt so that I can-"
"Kazuha..." Heizou sobbed as he held the man close. "It's... it's so perfect. Thank you."
"... Any time." Kazuha replied, breathing out a sigh of relief that he didn't even know that he was holding in. "It was my pleasure. Come here."
He gave Heizou a squeeze and for a while they stayed like that, just hugging out their feelings. All of the unspoken words and promises that lay between them. All of their memories. All of their hopes for the future.
Hopes.
A thought occurred to Shikanoin Heizou as he embraced Kazuha. One of the main regrets that had flooded his mind on that awful day. Merely weeks ago, but it felt like a lifetime.
The regret of a life without love.
But each day spent in Kazuha's company had filled his chest with a warm feeling. Butterflies fluttered around his stomach from such silly little things. A laugh at a bad joke. A piece of poetry about an egg with two yolks that he had found one day while making breakfast. A thousand apologies for burning said breakfast.
The look of platinum blond hair being gently caressed by the wind, under the light of a setting sun. The sound of an ordinary leaf, played with such finesse that it was all that Heizou could do not to cry at the sheer beauty of it.
At the sheer beauty that was Kaedehara Kazuha.
He didn't know who had said it, but maybe that saying 'it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all' had some truth to it. And, well, now that he had almost died while encountering the latter, right now he wasn't so afraid of the former.
"... I... I have a present for you too." He stammered, his face going red at the thought, the mere IMPLICATION of what he had in mind. "If you want it then that'd be awesome, but if not... well, I can probably deal with that too."
Probably.
It might end with devastation, but if it was Kazuha... he wouldn't mind devastation so much.
"Oh?" Kazuha tilted his head to the side adorably. A small smile on his face made Heizou think that maybe he already knew what he wanted. "And what would that be?"
Without another word (but a sharp intake of breath to steel his nerves), Heizou pulled him in for a kiss. A kiss that Kazuha responded to eagerly.
At that moment, it felt like every decision and choice he had made in his life had led to this very moment.
He was loved.
The thought both excited and terrified him. Made him feel invincible and yet so very fragile at the same time.
Perhaps the desk job could wait.
He didn't want to disappoint his incredible boyfriend with settling for something menial, after all.
He deserved to hear more stories about cases that Heizou had cracked and the adventures he had been on.
It would take some time, but he would be incredible too. The greatest detective in all of Inazuma - nay, the world.
With a heart beating full of courage, promises to meet again and oh-so-much love, he watched Kazuha sail away on the Alcor. Though he missed him already, a smile was on his face.
Once the ship had sailed over the horizon and to lands unknown, Heizou clutched his new choker - which he wore with pride - briefly, to give him some luck. He then marched back towards Narukami Island, with determination in every step.
Inazuma wasn't going to eradicate crime by itself, after all. That was his job.