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There were plenty of nooks in the library of Askr that readers could retreat to for privacy. Some were easy to find, often shared between regulars, while others were like little secrets tucked away, giving the impression that one had stumbled upon a tiny, private world.
Thrasir had thought she had found one such secret, accessible only through a cleverly concealed trapdoor. Not long after she settled in with her choice of readings for the day, though, the trapdoor rattled as someone made to open it from the other side. She sighed, getting ready to leave.
"Oh! Sorry, hadn't thought this was occupied -- ah, Thrasir, hello!"
Her mood lifted as she saw who had opened the door - none other than the Summoner. Shine was someone she didn't mind seeing and spending time with, especially after they'd grown closer.
"You can come in," she said, making space in the nook. "There should be just enough room for two."
"Are you sure? I don't want to impose," they said, lingering in the entryway.
"If you don't want to come in, then please close the door. I don't want more people learning about this place."
Shine squirreled their way in, shutting the door quickly. They sat next to her, holding their books to their chest.
"What are you reading today?" they asked.
"This and that. And you?"
"Some thises and thats, as well."
They tucked themselves behind their knees, keeping their book propped up on their thighs. Thrasir had seen them curled up on several occasions, so the pose itself was not so unusual, but she was in the mood to fool around.
The sound they made when she floated their book into her hands was comical, like a startled cat. She flipped through their book with a controlled expression, pretending she didn't notice how they scrambled to get the book back. She expected to find something to tease them about, but...
"What in Zenith is 'knotting'?" she asked. "There is nothing about ropes anywhere in this text."
"Please give that back!"
She looked at the front of the book to see if there were any context clues she could find, but she could find none - though the dragon illustration on the cover was quite nice. "Here, then," she said. "I didn't mean to upset you. Apologies."
Shine took the book back, making sure to take a good hard look at the book she had open on her lap as they did so. "...Is that a spellbook?"
"Indeed it is."
"A..." they paused. "A sexy spellbook."
"Right again."
They kept staring for a long while, then cleared their throat and glanced politely away. "I can see why you wanted to keep to yourself for such reading."
"From what I understand, it is frowned upon to take such books out of the library, so I am studying as much of it as I can," she said. "I have yet to find out what I wanted to learn, though."
Their hesitation filled the silence.
"What are you looking to learn?"
There were many things Thrasir was willing, eager even, to share with her lovers. And while she knew she had set them up to ask that very question...she was unsure if she wanted to answer it.
"To be honest, I am not sure how to express what it is I am looking for, which makes it difficult to research," she said, which was true but still a poor excuse for an answer. "All I have found are...fertility spells."
Shine's expression became intent, like they had figured something out. She placed her hands on her belly and stared at the transparent, empty expanse of her eitr.
"I...do not think I want to be a mother. I do not think it is possible, dead as I am, or was," she said. "But it does not stop me from wondering, and wishing for...an experience."
They let out a long, deep sigh, crossing their arms and laying their head back on the wall. "Mood," they said.
"...Big mood?"
"Yeah...especially in this case, right? You...you want to feel big."
Thrasir frowned. "There are...size-changing spells in these books. But it's not the same."
"They teach expansion --!?" Shine coughed. "...But you know what I mean, right? You want to be gravid, but not have a child."
She nodded. They stared at the ceiling for a while.
"It's a long shot, but do you want me to help you find a spell for that?"
"I am beginning to doubt it exists," she said. "...But if you find any magic you want to try, bring it to my attention. We can experiment together."
They blushed, but she could tell they appreciated the offer.
"The library might frown upon Heroes checking out certain books, but apparently the Great Summoner is an exception. Let me know what you think of this," Shine said, opening a book to a marked page.
Thrasir scanned it quickly before slowing down and appreciating what was before her. It was a spell to...fill a womb with a solid, warm light. The accompanying illustration depicted a figure cuddling their partner's gravid belly.
"How did you find this?"
"You might have avoided fertility spells, but that was my first instinct," they said. "It's...meant to help grieving couples. To give them an opportunity to feel something they missed out on."
She stared at the spell.
"In a way, that's you too though...right?"
She didn't want to overthink it and started to cast. They stepped back, surprised.
At first, she felt nothing. But then, a little mote of light stirred inside of her. She kept her hands on her belly as it grew, filling with a warm, comforting weight.
"It's perfect," she said. "Do you want to feel it, too?"
Shine hesitated, but Thrasir could feel their satisfaction on top of her own when their spirit settled within her. She reclined, hoping the spell would last long enough for Líf to see it for himself.