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"Just kiss her already you wuss!" Dean whispered in Castiel's ear, his breath tickling Cas' neck. But that was the problem, Cas thought. He didn't like Amelia. He liked Dean, but Dean could never know. It would jeopardize their friendship. So hesitantly, Cas leaned in and pushed his lips against Amelia's. Amelia grinned, but Cas felt awkward with her nearly naked body pressing against his own. She was sparkly and sweaty where Cas felt dull and unenergized.
"Yeah! Woop!" Dean yelled while Sam sighed, knowing Cas' secret. Sam was the one that Cas had gone to a few months ago, asking about these confusing feelings that came with being human. Sam had told Cas that he was feeling love, and that it was normal for humans to feel that way about people they really cared about, but Cas didn't understand. For him, "loving" Dean was just like when he was really into a song or a burger, the feeling had just intensified. Sam had sighed when Cas had explained this, telling him love was love and to just accept it.
Cas pulled away from Amelia forcing a grin that looked more like a grimace. Dean and Amelia didn't notice, though. Dean, because he was drunk off his ass, and Amelia because she had just met Castiel about an hour ago. Castiel didn't understand humans, he decided. And he never would.
"Well, Dean, it looks like it's time to go home," Sam said, waving the waitress away before Dean could order anything else to drink. He lead a stumbling Dean out to the Impala, fought with him for the keys, and helped Cas gently into the passenger seat.
"I've got him," Cas said quietly when they returned to the bunker. He put his arm out for Dean to grab. He seemed more aware now. He led a stumbling Dean back into his bedroom, and helped him out of his clothes, lifting the covers for him to climb under.
"Mm, Cas. Stay with me." Dean grabbed Cas' arm before he left. Awkwardly, Cas took off his tie and coat and climbed into the bed with Dean, who pulled him against him and wrapped his arms around him protectively. Cas settled in to sleep. Why not? Sam, who hadn't helped much in the bar, told him to accept it.
When Dean woke up, his head was throbbing, and Cas was gone. Suddenly it hit Dean. He had slept with Cas. He had actually asked Cas to stay. Dammit.
"Good morning, Dean. I brought you some water and Sam said to get you a burger," Cas said, walking into the room. "What's wrong?" Dean's hands were over his face, in pain and embarrassment.
"Nothin'. Mornin' Cas," Dean said, trying to smile up at Cas. He sat Dean's food on the nightstand, and sat down in a nearby chair. It would be easy, Cas realized, to just tell Dean now. What was the worst that could happen? Dean wouldn't return the feelings? It couldn't be that bad, could it? But something stopped him. Something about Dean encouraging him to kiss half-dressed women in a club at midnight. It wasn't right. It wouldn't work.
"Eat," Castiel said. Dean sighed and took a bite of his burger. Perfect. This was just what he needed. Dean grinned at Cas, raised his eyebrows in an aproving way and took another bite. Castiel tried not to laugh. Dean was ridiculous.
"Well, last night was crazy, huh?" Dean said, breaking the silence. Castiel didn't want to answer. He didn't want to kiss Amelia, he didn't enjoy watching Dean kiss other girls either. He wanted Dean, he's all Cas has ever wanted.
Dean regretted last night. Not only was he hungover, which almost never happened, but he had encouraged Cas to kiss some stripper working at the bar, and he had spent a hundred dollars on a different girl. He sighed, embarrassed again.
"It's okay," Cas said quietly. He had tried for hours to get the image of Dean and the other female out of his mind, and to get the face of the girl he kissed out of his mind.
For the next two weeks, Cas was awkward around Dean. He tried to avoid him, and Dean would try to start conversation with him. Cas tried to answer, but he was distracted. Dean liked Cas. He couldn't admit it to anyone; he could barely admit it to himself. It was just so... not Dean. Dean liked strip clubs and Busty Asian Beauties. He liked alcohol and one night stands. Not guys. God dammit!
"Hey, Cas," Sam said, walking into the kitchen where Castiel was inspecting the table. "What are you doing?"
"Sam, I need advice." Castiel turned around slowly, a pained expression on his face. Sam made a concerned face and sat down at the table.
"What do you do, as a human, if you like - er - love someone?" Castiel blushed; he wasn't used to talking about things like this.
"Cas, you've gotta tell him," Sam said. Castiel sighed and looked at his friend, trying to muster up the best bitchface he was capable of.
"I cannot do that." It was Sam's turn to pull a bitchface.
"You can and you will or I will tell him," Sam said, raising his eyebrows threateningly. Castiel made his face brooding and mean, similar to faces the young hunter had made before in response to Dean.
"Dean!" Sam yelled, running into the hall, trying to find his big brother. "Dean!" Castiel chased after the hunter, so angry he could kill him.
"Dammit Sam!" Cas yelled, knowing that Sam was much quicker than he was. He felt tears prick his eyes, and he turned and walked back into the kitchen, pulling out Dean's Jack Daniels. He took a swig, feeling it burn through his chest. He laughed a bit, and choked down some more. The pain was a good pain, he thought. He sat down at the kitchen table. Dean didn't feel that way about Castiel. Dean would never feel that way about Cas, and he knew it. He had accepted it months ago. He let his head drop into his hands.
"Hey," he heard Dean say softly from behind him. Cas looked up slowly, sighing. "Sam said you were looking for me."
"Oh, yeah. Because I'm always looking for you." He giggled. "It was all Sam's plan. Good old Sammy." He stumbled, but Dean caught him. He smiled up at him shakily.
"Hey," Cas whispered. He stood up slowly, holding on to Dean's arm. Dean smiled back at Cas, leading him in to the table to sit down.
"What were you lookin' for me for?" Dean asked him, hoping he wasn't too drunk to answer. He had drank half the bottle in probably twenty minutes.
"To - to tell you, that I love you," Cas said, not realizing what he was saying until he said it. "Oops." He giggled again.
"Oh, um. Cas..." Dean didn't know how to respond. Cas... liked him? Why was this the first he was hearing of this? Dammit, and the girl...
"Yup." Castiel popped the "p." Dean looked at him for a moment, knowing that Cas wasn't lying, especially being this drunk. How did Dean respond?
"Listen, Cas..." Castiel's eyes teared up. Dean knew what Cas thought he was going to say, but he smiled at Castiel. He had to tell him. He couldn't let the angel cry. "I, um... I - I love you too, Cas. I love you too." Neither of them knew it, but Sam was in the other room, smiling like he'd just saved the world again.
"Come on, let's get you to bed. You're kind of drunk," Dean said, picking Cas up bridal style and carrying him into his bed. Cas smiled up at him.
"Stay with me," Cas requested. Dean crawled into bed, wrapping his arms around Cas. What did this mean for them? Dean wondered. Were they dating? Or were they just friends with cuddling benefits? Dean chuckled at himself. He honestly loved Cas, and now that he knew he loved him too, things could be different. They could be something more.
"Always."