Work Text:
Jude's opv ─
A huge smile forms on his lips as he jumps into his best friend's arms. They did it, they just beat Germany 3-0 with him scoring two goal and a third goal from his his best friend.
Jude wraps his legs around his best friend's waist and tucks his head in the crook of his neck, smiling even more. They did it together, with their teammates, for England, for the motherland, for their people.
"We did it Jamal! We manage to beat them!" he says softly in the older's arms.
Jamal laughs while jumping happily, and he in turns laughs still clinging to his best friend. They hug each other even tighter until they fall onto the lawn, making them laugh even more than before. Their teammates joins them and jump on them screaming with pure joy.
This is the first game they all have together, and they win together. This is the first of the many upcoming games that Jude hopes to play with Jamal alongside him, for the England team.
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"We both need to talk..." Jamal sighs as he settles on his bed, looking disturbed.
He frowns as he settles down on his bed, right beside the german who's unconsciously biting his lower lip. It's been going on for a while, Jamal who's getting further and further away from him after joining the Bayern ─ they talk less and less together than before, and even with the Lions when they share a room the native german has tried to avoid him, he knows how many times.
It pisses him off when his best friend act like that, because he doesn't know what happen to him. Jude isn't used to be in such a cold environment with Jamal, even being in Germany and their respective club they still manage to spend time together, but after a while he notices that Jamal is drifting away even more from him as if he did something wrong ─ without realizing.
Jamal sighs heavily before looking him straight in the eye. "I've been thinking about it for a while, you know that with the double nationality I'm eligible to join the English national team or the German national team."
Jude furrows his brows again, not quite seeing what his best friend in trying to say. "Yeah and? You're already playing for England Jamal, why are you telling me about this now?" he asks.
"Because Joachim Löw the coach of the german national team, wants me to join the Die Mannschaft senior team for the euro next year..."
"You're kidding right?" Bellingham exclaims, drifting away slightly from his best friend. "Tell me you're joking Jamal, you can't do that not when you promised to stay with us ─ with me and the Lions!"
"I— I know Jude but it's a great opportunity, it's even the best that ever happened to me. Play with the Die Mannschaft senior is a dream for me! Thomas helped me get there, I can't say no to that!"
"Yes you can! You played all you national matches with us ─ do you realize that if you join the german seniors, you won't be able to play with the Three Lions right?"
"Yeah I know... I— I'm sorry..." Jamal apologizes after a second of silence.
Jude shakes his head ─ and Jamal apologizes again. He can't believe that after five year of dreaming of being able to play alongside Jamal, he best friend destroys all his hopes like that in the snap of a finger for an offer like that.
He hates Joachim Löw and Thomas Müller, he hates them so much for having manage to take his best friend away from him. Jamal rest one of his hand on his, and he jerks his hand right away, looking at the german-englishman with tears in his eyes and a frown.
"Don't. Touch. Me." the younger of them both spits bitterly. "Leave me alone,"
"Ju' don't act like that ─ we both knew it was going to happen sooner or later, I had to make a choice between the country I was born, my mum's country or the one that saw me grow up."
"Don't call me that Musiala," Jude gets even more upset. "It's not just the country that saw you grow up, but also the one that shaped you and made you who you are now!"
And with those words being said, Jude leaves the room he shares with his best friend, hands bawled in fists and breathing ragged. He hopes so badly to wake up and realize it's a bloody nightmare, realize that Jamal is going to stay with him and that they're going to play for the Three Lions at the 2020 Euro ─ but the pain spreading through his chest is so strong that he know that he isn't having a nightmare and that he's well and truly awake.
He doesn't even know why he's making such a fuss about it, because the moment he met Jamal and he knew he had dual citizenship, he knew that time would come ─ but he hoped that after all the games they played together his best friend would choose England. And now he knows that the relationship with his best friend won'y be the same after what they just said, in that room. And he can only blame the Die Mannschaft for that.
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A laugh escapes his lips as Bukayo jumps onto his back, and Mason, Phil and Jadon jostle them slightly so he loses balance and falls headfirst with his teammate on his back, but his reflexes save him.
Phil starts to whine even more when he doesn't fall. "Come one Jude, you fool!"
"There I'm offended! You're the one who want to make me fall, and I'm the fool?"
They look at each other for a long time with eyes as big as saucers, before bursting into laughter. Their eldest throw sideways glance at them, smiling faintly as they tour the stadium where they'll face Germay in a friendly match.
Bellingham stops after a few seconds, and begins to smiles as he slips his hands into his sweater's pocket. December in Germany isn't kind to anyone, even for him who has lived in the country for almost two years now ─ and he shivers as he wear a sweater, puffer jacket and a beanie.
"Hi mate!"
The Borussia player turns in the same direction as Mason, and he spots a few guys form the Die Mannschaft approaching them. Kai Havertz is the one walking in front of the group, giving them a huge and welcoming smile and Mason walks up to them smiling even more. He glance at Phil who shrugs, and Bukayo and Jadon do the same ─ then they in turn approach the german player.
Phil Joins Gündoğan and he and Jadon approach Julian Brandt and Karim Adeyemi their club teammates. He never really leaves Germany and it make him happy to have his teammates as opponent.
"Boys come over here!" Havertz says turning around.
Jude doesn't really bother to look at who Kai is calling, and instead he continues talking in low voice with Karim who gives him the latest news from the Borussia, and their captain. He doesn't see him approach, but when he arrives at their level his head snaps up to see him ─ laughing with a blond guy.
Their eyes haven't met yet, and he doesn't know if the german has seen him, but he definitely has and he can't help but stare at him, barely listening to what his friends are saying. It isn't the first time they've seen each other, clearly not ─ he plays for the Bayern Munich and he for the Borussia Dortmund, he's always seen him on the other side of the pitch with their respective clubs but never with their National team.
It's the very first time Jude has seen Jamal in Die Mannschaft attire ─ he's used to see him with the Three Lions' one ─ and it's the first time they've stood there so close to each other since the german chose his camp and which national team to stay with. His heart throbs painfully, remembering his goals at 17 when he wanted to play alongside the german.
Kai puts both his arms around Jamal's shoulder, and the blond boy who seems to have the same age as him and his best friend ─ well he can't really call him his best friend anymore, since he hasn't spoken with Jamal after he broke the news to him and it was confirmed by the Die Mannschaft itself, days after their conversation.
"Here are my new recruits," Kai quips and he spots Jamal rolling his eyes, before smiling broadly.
"may I remind you that I have already play at least 15 games with the DM, so the new recruit here is rather Florian!" Jamal sarcastically responds with a laugh, earning him a kick from the blond guy on Havertz's other side. "Ouch Flo' that one bloody hurt!"
"Oh shut up you muppet!" Wirtz hisses.
"Behave yourself boys," Gündoğan sighs making Bukayo, Phil, Jadon and Mase laugh.
He too starts to laugh at the Citizen player's comment, which draws Jamal attention on him. The Bayern player offers him a small smile, which he doesn't respond to.
"Hi Jude,"
"Hi Musiala." he replies limply, looking away.
And he doesn't see Jamal's smile fading, as quickly as it appears when he saw him. They chat a bit more with the german players, before Kyle picks them up with John so they can all go back to the hotel. Jude approaches Karim and Julian, whom he hugs before giving a little wave to all the rest of the german players they were with.
Then they join the rest of the Three Lions waiting for them in the hallway. Bellingham slips in with the other and walks with Foden among the other guys who are chatting loudly as usual. Musiala's smiling face pops up in his mind, and he exhales slowly, also remembering that he isn't with them but with the germans.
They leave the stadium and rush into the bus, taking their usual place. And as usual, he ends up sitting with Jadon by his side, as Phil and Bukayo find themselves sitting in the seats directly in front of them. The bus pulls away, and after only a few minutes of driving, him and Jadon see Foden and Saka turning in their seat to look at him ─ and he frowns.
"Yeah?"
"Do you know Musiala personally?" Bukayo asks curiously.
Jude bites the inside of his right cheek quietly, before answering: "No, why this question?"
"Well 'cause you were the only one he said hello to, and from the look he gave you, with Bukayo we thought you might know each other personally," Phil said crossing his arms over his seat's head, to put his chin on them.
Bellingham shrugs slightly. "We're opponents guys, our teams have been rivals for years now, plus we played against each other two weeks ago ─ of course he was going to say hi to me..."
"Never mind that he still called you Jude. and not Bellingham!"
Ouch Sancho scores a point. No Three Lions guys know that he and Jamal were once best friends, that something he decided to take to his grave after the Bayern player decided to officially join the german side last year.
His friends, seeing that he isn't going to answer them, become silent, and leave him alone as he turns his head to observe the city of Munich, passing before his eyes, which he closes a few seconds later to rest a bit.
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The game against Germany ends up on a 2-2, Mason and he scored for England and Kai and Jamal scored for Germany. And it's ironic when he thinks properly about it, Mase and his boyfriend each score on their own for their respective tems ─ and he and his best friend each do the same on their own too.
Reece walks past him and pats his head lightly, making him smile. They then head together towards the germans whom they greet, before heading to the locker room after the all congratulated each other, and spoken to the coaches and referees.
Bellingham goes a little further down the hall, but freezes mid-way for a few seconds when his name is called. He knows the voice that calls him by heart, even after it's moulted he recognizes it without much effort and he closes his eyes before starting to walk again in the locker room's direction, while his teammates all stopped in the middle of the hallway to look at him.
"Jude!"
He still continues to walk under his teammates confused gaze, as Jamal runs after him to catch him up. In the end, the number 42 of the german team grabs him by the wrist and holds him in the middle of the hallway, trying to recover his breath.
"Jude listen we need to talk," Musiala says breathlessly.
"What do you want us to talk about Musiala?" Jude asks without an ounce of emotion. "We have nothing to talk about," he said, raising a brow at the german.
"It's been two years Jude. Could you stop being mad at me for that? I though you got past that already." Jamal sighs.
The english payer pulls his wrist out of the hold the german player is exercising on it. "Oh I got past the betrayal, we all did with the guys don't worry about this ─ what I haven't forgotten is the fact you left me all alone since that day. So now if you don't mind I have to go change."
Everything stops around them, the referees, their respectives coaches, their teammates, and staff members of their teams. They just watch them in silence, not know whether they should tear them apart from each other or not ─ and Jude wants to yell at everyone, to get them all to move and leave him and Jamal in the hallway, but he doesn't want to be alone with the german. He doesn't want because he knows that the feeling that grew in him after Jamal left will explode and he doesn't want to.
He doesn't want to admit to himself that after spending two years being upset about what Jamal has done to him, he fell in love with him. He prefers hating on Jamal rather than admitting that he's in love with the german.
"Let's just go," Southgate shouts to all his players except Jude.
The Three Lions give him a last look before following their coach, and soon after the Die Mannschaft player imitate the english one ─ and quickly it's only him and Jamal left in the hallway. The german sighs after seeing that they're now just the two of them, and that they'll be able to talk and settle the things that they couldn't settle two years ago.
"Look Jude I know you're still mad at me, but I needed this ─ to play with them. It wasn't even sure that Southgate would ever call me with the Three Lions,"
"And I fucking needed you too Jamal," Jude huffs bitterly. "You didn't know anyone in the german team, while you knew almost everyone in the english team. You promised to stay with me, and that we would meet together one day on the pitch to sing the national anthem of our country ─ side by side with our Lions' jersey!" he says, clenching his hand into a fist to hide his tremors.
"We were bloody kids Jude. We were 11. Now we're 18 almost 19, and like me you knew it was going to happen one day!" Jamal starts to get angry too.
Bellingham then looks down. yes they were 11 when Jamal promised him to play with him for the the english senior team ─ they're going to be 19 next year and he's playing for England while his best friend is playing for Germany. When they were younger, they never considered what would happen once they would be able to join senior team, and when it happened it didn't go as planned.
"I'm sick of playing this bloody game Bellingham, I feel like I'm going mental, do you hear me? We spent almost two goddamn years without speaking to each other, well you spent almost two bloody years avoiding me ─ I can't take it anymore okay, it's unbearable!"
"You should have thought about it before then." he whispers as Jamal blows harder. "I didn't asks you for anything more than what you yourself promised me Musiala ─ I'm not the one who made a promise, and then broke it afterward,"
Jude then turns his back on the Bayern Munich player, and begins to walk towards his team's locker room before Jamal catches up with him a second time, and holds him back by the collar of his jersey.
"Oh fuck it already," Jamal hisses angrily.
Right after that Jude feels the older boy's lips on his, and he doesn't have time to register and react to what is happening as Jamal starts moving his lips. His arms fall to his sides, as he see the Die Mannschaft player closes his eyes while still kissing him.
After a moment Musiala pulls away from him, but he catches him up in turns by the waist and stick their lips back together for another kiss. Hs mind is more confused that ever, but that's something he wanted to do for a while now so he isn't going to waste the opportunity. His hand tightens even more tighter on Jamal's waist, as their breath mingles and their tongues meet.
The kiss lasts for a moment before Jamal pulls away from him, looking even more confused then his own mind and he wants to laugh so badly but he holds back, seeing the older man's eyebrows furrow. He leans his back to the nearest wall, and looks at his eldest who's staring at him in silence.
"I─ what was that for?" the german player asks.
"You kissed me first Jamal, so it's up to me to ask that question don't you think?" Jude said as he smiles weakly. "What was that kiss for?"
Jamal huffs at his remark, before rolling his eyes and then running a hand to the back of his neck.
"To tell you the truth I don't know... well yes I do know, I've wanted to do that for a while. I think─ no─ I love you Jude..." Jamal said quickly as he looks away. "When we stopped talking to each other after the last u19 games in 2019, and you avoided me the whole time we were with the u21's, I felt really bad. Then Levi came to visit me in Munich three months ago and he made me realize that I was falling for you ─ and that I couldn't stay away from you any longer..." he explains to him before exhaling slowly.
They're clearly not the smartest boys on earth, it's a fact and at least they know it. Jamal seems to feel guilty and he too by the way because he was the one who got upset and decided to cut ties with the german that night, without saying anything to him and doing as if he never existed and they were never part of each other's lives. Yet deep down that day, when Jamal told him that he was going to joint the german national team, he was excepting it a bit ─ because Jamal wanted to do everything for his mother, and she wanted to see her son play with the german selection.
Jude can't even his best friend's mother since he would've done the same for his mother, but at the time it wasn't even her that he blamed but Thomas Müller and Joachim Löw were the only one to blame, for the fact that he and his best friend stopped talking to each other.
"I don't really blame you, you know. I just felt so sick to my stomach when I realized that nothing we had promised to ourselves was going to come true ─ that I wanted to hate you. I couldn't even blame you because I was already starting to feel something for you, and that pissed me off."
Jamal laughs weakly and he smiles softly at him. "So what de we do now?" the german asks him.
"I clearly don't know." he mumbles back. "Should we rebuild our friendship first, before we do anything else?"
The older boy nods with a smile and he sighs ad he feels a weight leave his shoulder, and the lump that had formed in his throat suddenly disappears. He leans away from the wall he was leaning on to start heading for the locker room room, now that he and Jamal are in good term ─ but the german quickly catches him and sticks their lips back together, for a few seconds before pulling away from him while sheepish smile on his lips.
"I─ why?"
Musiala just shrugs before walking away from him, leaving him in the hallway. He watches him go but after a few secondes, he runs after the german and puts an arm around his shoulder so they walk side by side. Even tho they aren't dating yet, Jude knows what Jamal wanted to tell him by kissing him again ─ but he doesn't say anything to him and just holds him close as they get a little closer from their respective locker room.
Jude is stupid, Jamal is too but they only need each other to finally be complete. Jamal may be on the other side of the pitch, but nothing can go against them now that they know how they feel about each other.