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Shepard’s heart thumped in her chest as she edged down the corridor towards the Main Battery. Unarmed and with only her biotics to protect her, she felt almost naked as she edged towards the hiding place of the man who had wrecked so much damage on her ship. Garrus caught her eye and nodded towards one of the cryo-pods just outside of the door, and they both stopped as Shepard squinted through the dim lighting.
She could just see part of an Alliance boot, as though somebody was lying slumped on the floor.
Was it him?
“Jaaaames?” she crooned softly as she resumed creeping forward, her hands clenching and unclenching into fists. Tension snaked through her body and her muscles coiled so tight she felt like she would snap at any moment. “Vega?”
Shepard paused as she heard a frantic muttering start up, mumbled nonsense about Udina riding unicycles with pink rats and elves who were hiding in the ship. She glanced at Garrus who shrugged and flared his mandibles in confusion.
“What do we do?” she hissed at him as she kept one eye on the boot.
The turian shrugged. “He’s your boyfriend, Shepard. Go talk to him and reassure him that everything is all right. Then we can walk him to the medbay and Chakwas can sedate him until the effects of those mushrooms wears off.”
Shepard nodded and let out a slow breath. “And if he starts going nuts again?”
Garrus grimaced and tapped the modified gun he was carrying. “Then we dart him and drag his heavy ass back to the medbay.”
“Right.”
Garrus raised the dart gun and aimed it at the cryo-pod that James had collapsed behind, his mushroom-fuelled bender having taken him all over the ship on his tripped-out adventures. Near as they could tell, James had used some dried mushrooms in his cooking and they’d turned out to be drell-mushrooms leftover from Thane’s time on the ship. Shepard had no idea what the drell had been doing with hallucinogenic mushrooms stashed away in the kitchen, but she liked to think that maybe they affected his biology different and he hadn’t been some kind of ‘shroom addict.
“James?” She crept closer and found him sprawled uncomfortably on the ground, as though he’d fallen and couldn’t bother to get up. “You okay there, Jimmy?”
He opened his eyes a crack and squinted at her. “Hey Lola. You have stars in your eyes,” he slurred. “And space and time is flowing through you. You’re beautiful, like velvet and ice-cream.”
Garrus stifled a laugh and Shepard threw him a grumpy look over her shoulder as she knelt and pulled James into a sitting position. “That’s lovely.” She paused and contemplated the best way to get the big guy on his feet. “How you feeling?”
“Great.” He suddenly seized her shirt and pulled her close to him, his dilated pupils staring intensely into hers as he confessed, “But I threw up on Glitch a little bit. Maybe a lot.”
Shepard shook her head. “Glitch is a hologram, I think he’ll be fine.”
“Oh.” James looked guilty and leaned forward again, dropping his voice to a whisper. “In that case I threw up on what was under him.”
She paused. “What was under Glitch, James?”
“A terminal, some documents and a data pad.” He blinked rapidly. “I smashed all the rats though. And the elves. They thought they were being clever hiding in her room.”
“Shit.” Shepard opened her omni-tool and tapped out a hasty message to Liara, wincing as she imagined the asari’s reaction to James’ vandalism. “Okay Jimmy, we need to get you on your feet and get to you to the medbay.”
He nodded. “’kay, Lola.”
Shepard slung one of his arms around her shoulders and heaved him to her feet. Her muscles burned and ached with the effort but she managed, with difficulty, to get James standing. He wobbled unsteadily and leaned on her heavily as he stumbled forward and they started their way towards the medbay where Chakwas was waiting.
James looked up at Garrus as they passed him. “Hey buddy!” He happily pulled free of Shepard and clasped Garrus in a bear hug. “You know, you look more like a lion than a bird.” He tapped Garrus on the nose. “Meow.”
Shepard took one of James’ arms and pried him off the turian, then she and Garrus walked him the rest of the way to the medbay. Once he was safely inside - excitedly telling Chakwas that Udina was being controlled by rats – they left him there and went back to the mess.
“Hey guys!” Kaidan waved at them from the table, a bowl of James’ ‘shroom laced cooking sitting in front of him. “Have you tried this?”
Shepard froze and her eyes widened in horror. “Uh, Kaidan, you probably shouldn’t eat that!”
He paused with the spoon halfway to his lips. “Why?”
“James laced it with hallucinogenic mushrooms,” Garrus piped up. “He’s in the medbay recovering.”
Kaidan very slowly set his spoon down and pushed away from the table, the colour draining from his face. “Oh God.”
“What?” Shepard asked and frowned; he looked like he was going to be sick.
He looked up and met her eyes. “This was my second helping.”