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Breathe in, breathe out, you know the drill they tell themselves you only have to keep going, you don’t have to think about any of it, just forget it, bury it deep in your brain where no one can find it, like all the other things you don’t want to deal with. Just. Don’t think. Don’t think. DO NOT THINK.
They try to catch their breath, but they’re unable to breathe properly, and their chest is starting to hurt. They grip their shirt, trying to control the pain, to control themselves, but is impossible, they’re starting to break. They fell on their knees, their breathing speeding up, but even then there’s not enough air for their lungs, tears fall from their eyes, leaving marks on their cheeks before reaching the ground.
They’re all alone now. What they’re supposed to do? There’s nothing else for them, they’ve been abandoned, tosed aside like a broken piece now that they’re not useful anymore. It hurts, it hurts so much, more like anything else that they have experienced. But they keep breathing, even if it’s in quick and shortened breaths, and it surprises them, really, because they’re sure that the amount of pain they’re feeling is enough to kill someone, that no one’s heart could take so much, but there they are, still breathing.
They don’t know how much time passes until they regained their senses, until everything becomes more bearable again. Their vision clears after being blurry and unfocused, their body stops shaking, they can control their breathing again, and the pain in their chest is still there, it’ll probably be there for a long time, but it becomes manageable, at least for now. They almost feel like a human being again. When the numbness starts to fade, they feel a sharp pain on their arms, and when they look, they see five deep scratches that goes from the elbows to the wrists on each arm. It was a habit that they thought they lost a long time ago, but it seems that is true when you lose something you gain something. In this case they lost their whole life, and in exchange gained old bad habits. They can taste something bitter on their mouth. With a deep sigh to try and gather the little strength that it’s left in them, they start walking through the town while supporting themselves on the walls. Better to find somewhere to rest before it gets late, if someone sees them lurking around it could be very troublesome.