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Lan Zhan likes to run.
He likes the simplicity of it. He likes the control.
From the depth of his breath to the length of his stride – whether he wins or loses, it’s really up to him and him alone.
Lan Zhan likes that.
He watches the track as he slows down from his cool down.
If pressed, Lan Zhan would admit that he likes the natural terrain of cross country over the strange rubber of the track, but he’s beginning to find that track has certain other appeals.
It’s fun to watch the other athletes, for one.
His brother on the pole vault, for example. The calm focus in his eyes as he runs. The graceful arc of his body as he flies above the bar. The split second of pure ecstasy that Lan Zhan can see on his brother’s face when he knows he’s made the jump – Lan Zhan never knew his brother could make that sort of expression. It makes him wonder what else he doesn’t know about his brother.
It’s fun to watch the sprinters as well. Everyone running on the track are called runners, but the type of running the sprinters do is foreign to Lan Zhan.
For Lan Zhan, running is like water. There’s rhythm – a smoothness – to it. For Lan Zhan, running is something to get lost in.
Not for the sprinters though. There is something violent about the way they run. The way the shoot out from the start and torpedo through the finish. There’s no time to get lost.
If Lan Zhan’s way of running is about holding onto control, sprinting is about losing it.
Lan Zhan watches Jiang Cheng tear down the track.
Jiang Cheng is the fastest sprinter in their school – probably in their entire prefecture actually. He holds the school records in the 100m and 200m and if sprinting if violence, there is no one more destructive than Jiang Cheng.
Lan Zhan’s a bit disgusted by it, really, if he thinks about it. Sometimes, he wonders why Jiang Cheng runs at all. As Lan Zhan sees it, there’s no joy in Jiang Cheng’s running. Even when he wins he seems dissatisfied.
So the mysteries of the track – the joy it brings his brother and the obvious dissatisfaction it brings Jiang Cheng – they are all part of the appeal that Lan Zhan is beginning to find.
The biggest mystery though…
The one Lan Zhan would never admit wondering about, even if pressed…
Lan Zhan squats down and stretches one leg forward. He tilts his head slightly towards his shoulder. From this angle, he can see his biggest mystery from the corner of his eye.
Wei Ying.
The boys’ cross country coach spent all of second year trying to convince Wei Ying to join the cross country team to no avail. Wei Ying said that long runs bore him.
Aside from Jiang Cheng, Wei Ying holds the fastest 100m and 200m times, but anything longer than 200m Jiang Cheng can’t even compete. (Sometimes Lan Zhan thinks that maybe that that’s why Jiang Cheng is always so dissatisfied.)
Lan Zhan knows Wei Ying doesn’t even like the sprints – he won’t run them unless someone is injured.
Wei Ying likes to run the 800m the best, and his time is so fast that the Olympic team recruits often come watch him.
Lan Zhan always likes to watch Wei Ying cross the finish line. He’ll come to the meet hours ahead of his race time just to watch Wei Ying.
Wei Ying sails through the end, the other runners far behind him, and when he crosses the finish, he always lets his arms swing back a little as he glides through.
It’s… beautiful.
If Lan Zhan was a little more stupid, he might admit that Wei Wuxian almost looks like he has wings in that moment. (He might admit that Wei Wuxian looks a little angelic - but he’s not stupid).
Lan Zhan knows more about Wei Wuxian than he’s comfortable admitting to, and it doesn’t help that Wei Wuxian probably only barely knows Lan Zhan even exists.
It doesn’t matter… Lan Zhan wouldn’t know what to do if Wei Wuxian noticed him anyway.
He brings his leg back in and turns to stretch the other side. He turns his head and keeps looking at Wei Wuxian from the corner of his eye.
Wei Wuxian is laughing brightly. Talking and laughing with the other mid-range runners.
He’s always surrounded by people. Always bright and happy and having fun… and that’s why he’s Lan Zhan’s biggest mystery.
Because the way Wei Wuxian runs is very…
Lonely.
Wei Wuxian’s steps are light and his strides are long and his breathing is always under control. But he doesn’t seem lost like Lan Zhan.
Or…
Maybe he’s lost, but he’s lost in a different way than Lan Zhan.
Running is a quiet place for Lan Zhan. An easy question with an easy answer. The one place Lan Zhan can’t be found lacking in effort or ambition or any other strange standard his uncle’s set for him.
It doesn’t seem to be a quiet place for Wei Ying.
Maybe Lan Zhan doesn’t know as much as he thinks he knows about Wei Ying, or maybe he’s seeing things that aren’t there, but when Lan Zhan watches Wei Ying run…
It looks like he’s searching for something.
(As beautiful as Wei Ying is when he crosses the finish line, he doesn’t smile when he wins either.)
Lan Zhan stands as Wei Ying walks past him.
He knows it’s silly, but he feels himself hold his breath a little – stand a little bit straighter. He does his best not to let his eyes follow Wei Ying as he walks past.
He would be mortified if Wei Ying found out that Lan Zhan paid him any attention at all.
Lan Zhan stays that way for a few seconds as Wei Ying walks farther and farther away from him. The shoulder that Wei Ying walked past feels a little bit hotter than the rest of his body. There’s a strange tingling in his back at the thought that maybe Wei Ying might have looked back at him.
He feels foolish, but also strangely satisfied with himself. It feels like a little achievement that he’s gone another day without letting Wei Ying know that Lan Zhan... knows anything about him at all.
It’s maybe creepy and strange but hiding his creepy and strangeness feels like an achievement so Lan Zhan decides to be satisfied with that.
He starts walking towards the bleachers to wait for his brother to finish practice, when he feels a hand on his shoulder.
“Lan Zhan!”
Lan Zhan turns, quickly brushing the hand off his shoulder before looking at the face of his assailant.
He knows it’s not possible, but his heart feels like its stopped in his chest.
“Ow,” Wei Ying says shaking the hand that Lan Zhan slapped away. “No – don’t apologize. It’s my fault, I surprised you.”
Lan Zhan hadn’t made any movement or sound close to an apology at all but…
“It’s Lan Zhan, right?” Wei Ying asks, his brows furrowing at Lan Zhan’s continued silence.
“Mn,” Lan Zhan finally says with a nod. He feels a little bit panicked. He feels like maybe Wei Ying read his mind and came to ask him to stop stalking him so much. He feels like if he gives any more information Wei Ying might find out everything and…!!!
“I’m Wei Ying!” Wei Ying says brightly, uselessly - because could there be anyone in the entire school that could possibly not know him? – “We’re actually in the same year, but I’m in class 3.”
Lan Zhan just nods again, because this still feels dangerous and he doesn’t want to give any more information than he has to.
Wei Ying doesn’t seem at all put off by Lan Zhan’s continued silence. “Me and some of the other guys on the team were going to go to the pool hall to hang out after – I just wanted to see if you would want to come with us.”
It’s too much.
It’s really too much.
Wei Ying knowing his name is too much. Wei Ying saying his name is too much. Wei Ying inviting him out is too much.
Lan Zhan really…
Lan Zhan takes a step back. “Mid-term exams are next week and the pool hall is an improper place for runners to… hang out at… there’s too much smoke.”
Wei Ying’s eyes go a little big and round at Lan Zhan’s answer.
Lan Zhan wants to hide in a hole. He feels like the biggest loser in the world and oh gods, Wei Ying is going to think he’s the biggest xueba in the planet. Wei Ying is probably regretting even trying to talk to Lan Zhan. He probably regrets even knowing Lan Zhan’s name. Oh gods…
Wei Ying is quiet for a few seconds…
And then suddenly…
He breaks out in a huge smile and he… laughs…
Lan Zhan feels embarrassment crash over him in waves. He moves to walk past Wei Ying. He doesn’t want to be laughed at – even if the person laughing at him is beautiful and fast and…
“Oh please don’t get it wrong,” Wei Ying says, quickly grabbing Lan Zhan’s wrist so he can’t walk any further. His words are still decorated with laughter. As much as Lan Zhan hates it, he can’t help but find it… charming. “I’m not laughing at you – promise. I’m not!”
Lan Zhan doesn’t move. He doesn’t make any noise. He looks at Wei Ying’s face out from the corner of his eye and he finds that Wei Ying’s face is open and honest…
“I didn’t… say anything funny,” Lan Zhan says.
“Yeah,” Wei Ying agrees warmly, “But it was funnier because I knew you didn’t mean to be funny.”
The waves of embarrassment ebb a bit.
“What was so funny?” Lan Zhan asks.
Wei Ying scrunches his nose a little, as he shrugs his shoulder to one side. “I can’t really explain it,” he says, “It’s just funny to hear someone my age saying that something is improper.”
Lan Zhan tries (and fails) not to stare at the way Wei Ying’s nose scrunches. It’s cuter than Lan Zhan ever imagined and Lan Zhan wants to… save it to his memory…
He shakes his head a little to clear his mind and he pulls his hand away from Wei Ying’s.
“That’s… boring,” Lan Zhan says.
Wei Ying smiles widely again. His eyes are prettier up close, Lan Zhan thinks. “I’ll find something fun next time,” Wei Ying says, “I’ll find a proper place to hang out so you have to hang out with me then, okay?”
He’s off before Lan Zhan can even respond.
Lan Zhan watches him as he runs towards his waiting group of friends. He feels little bit like he might’ve been run over by a truck. He feels more tired from this short interaction than he did from his practice.
He watches Wei Ying runs through the exit and out of the track.
Wei Ying crosses the threshold like it’s a finish line.
Both his arms swing back a little, his head tilts up slightly.
Lan Zhan knows it’s not possible, but his heart stops in his chest.