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“Dude, it’s six in the freakin’ morning. Don’t you grimms ever sleep, or what?” Monroe grumbled out of habit as he let the very rumpled looking Nick inside. The younger man went straight to the kitchen without even a ‘good morning’ – not that Monroe expected one anyway – and collapsed into a chair after helping himself from his host’s overpriced Arabic Dreams coffee.
“Of course, feel at home, don’t mind me, I was just in the middle of my Pilates,” when Nick still hadn’t answered, he added, “You know, I might turn back into the big bad wolf, for all you care about my strict regimen.”
Even in the midst of his mandatory complaining, Monroe started to feel worried for his friend. While it was not unusual for Nick at all to barge into his home at all hours of the day and without a by your leave, at least he was at least more than willing to enlighten Monroe about the reason behind his visits. Which, usually, meant, that he had a wessen related case. Now, Monroe was not so sure about that.
He cautiously followed the obviously troubled man into the kitchen and as he stood behind him, he gave Nick’s shoulder a friendly squeeze. “Hey, buddy, what’s up? You are scaring me… well, more than usual. Is everything okay?
Nick sighed, then very slowly, lifted his head up to look into Monroe’s concerned eyes.
“She left me.”
After a few moments, Monroe finally decoded the message, and he frantically started to search for something to say. When nothing appropriate came to his mind, he settled for a sympathetic, “Oh.”
“Oh, indeed,” replied Nick, then, dissatisfied with his beverage, he stood up and went to the fridge. After some rummaging, he picked up two beers and opened them. Then he took one huge gulp from one while he handed the other to Monroe who watched him with a slight frown between his brows. With no small amount of effort on his part, the blutbad managed to refrain from commenting on the fact that 6:15 in the morning was way too early in the day to start drinking. Instead, he took the bottle from the distraught man, took a small sip in solidarity, and sat down onto the chair that Nick had just vacated.
After a few minutes of companionable silence, Nick thrust himself away from the counter he had been leaning onto and started rambling as he paced back and forth in the small kitchen.
“I’d have married her, you know? Ironically, I bought the ring the day I started seeing all the horrid faces of the damned wessens.” Immediately after saying so, Nick realized who he was talking to and turned to Monroe to hastily apologize. However, the older man shook his head and gestured for him to go on. Nick nodded his thanks, his face still contrite, then with a deep sigh, he continued.
“We have been… had been together for three years. I really thought this was forever, you know? What more could I have asked for? She had been everything I thought I wanted and now, all is gone. She’s gone.”
After he fell silent, Monroe decided that it was time for him to contribute to the conversation. “Didn’t you try to get her back, I don’t know, fight for her or something? I thought chicks dig that kind of stuff.”
Nick released an exasperated huff. “What for? She said that it was me she had a problem with. That I was distant, never there for her, always preoccupied with my little secrets, yadda, yadda… You know what, man? Aunt Marie might have been right to say that I had no future with Juliette… Maybe it is in my legacy to die alone.”
Monroe snorted. “Right, buddy. You know that this grimm gene or whatever that you have is hereditary? If the grim destiny of the grimms,” here Monroe conveniently ignored the death glare he received for his awful pun, “was to live in complete solitude and seclusion, then there would never have been baby grimms like you.” He paused for a moment, then carefully added, “Maybe it was she who was not right for you… and maybe you have known that for a while.”
Nicked made the effort to bristle in irritation, even though he himself felt that it was kind of fake. “What are you going on about? I loved her! I wanted to marry her, for god’s sake!”
Monroe watched the younger man, gauging the expressions that were rapidly changing on the tired face. He was not sure that he should be the one to say all those things that had to be said, but apparently, Nick had come to him, so he felt that he should at least do his best to help him.
“Nick, man, you said, and these were your exact words, she had been everything I thought I wanted, remember? For me, this means that for at least a while now, she hasn’t been. I mean everything you wanted.” When Nick wanted to interrupt, Monroe held up a hand to halt him. Nick, confused and weary, went back to his previous position to lean back against the counter. They both drank from their beers in silence as Monroe let Nick digest everything they had said so far. After a minute or so, he asked. “Do you love her? I mean in love love her? Or what you feel is just the usual and not at all unexpected post-break up depression?”
Nick really wanted to say yes, that he was of course in love with Juliette, but the words were stuck in his throat. Instead, maybe for a first time, he managed to honestly admit how he actually felt.
“No. We… we have been drifting apart for a while now and yes, the grimm staff really didn’t help. But I have to believe that if she had been the one, we could have made it. I changed. I feel like I’ve become this double agent and even though I hated it when it all started… now, I would not give it up.” Nick looked up, caught the gentle eyes of his friend and held it. “I’ve learnt so much about the world as it really is – and for much of it I owe you more than I can ever repay. And I’ve learnt a bunch of things about myself and I’m actually glad for it.”
Monroe gave Nick an encouraging smile. “That’s cool, man, that’s what I was trying to point out.
“That’s not all of it.” Nick walked to the kitchen table and sat down opposite to Monroe. Without hesitation, he took the other man’s hand into his and he squeezed it gently. He couldn’t help noticing how large the hand he held was, and how beautifully it was shaped. Nick went on with his confession, as he soaked up the warmth of that capable hand he still cradled between his smaller ones.
‘And I’m also grateful for knowing you. It goes without saying that I’d be lost without your help, and I know that probably I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate you as a person, too. And as my friend. I think you are the best friend I’ve ever had and the one that I trust the most.
Monroe rarely allowed the affection he held for the other man to be seen through his eyes, but after Nick’s heartfelt speech, he couldn’t help showing it to him or letting him in even more deeply. As they sat there, still holding onto each other, Monroe allowed that treacherous hope to seep into his soul. Maybe, just maybe, now he stood a chance for something more.
“Thanks, Nick. It means… a lot. Not many would trust a blutbad, you know.
“A wieder-blutbad,” countered Nick, and managed a sincere smile for the first time since Juliette had dumped him. He took comfort and reassurance from the calm presence that was all Monroe and he felt truly at home; more so than at his own house. And maybe, just maybe, everything would work out in the end. He was not alone. He had Monroe, his partner, his friend, and whatever they might become to each other in the future.