Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hyunjin wants to get lunch from one of the on-campus convenience stores, shooting a text to Felix that he would pick something up for him so could he please try and snag their favorite table under the big tree in the quad. Hyunjin will riot if he has to sit out in the sun and bake during the late spring heat. Why any of this involves Seungmin is anyone’s guess, and why Minho tags along is even more of a mystery. 

Seungmin and Hyunjin share morning classes on Tuesdays, and Hyunjin hates doing anything by himself. If he has to go to the convenience store for lunch he will drag Seungmin with him by the scruff of the neck if he has to. Usually, his friend doesn’t really complain, but Minho could tell that Seungmin is in a Mood today. Had seen it in his eyes when they’d walked past, and Seungmin glanced at him with this dead look in his eyes. Something’s happened, so Minho follows them to keep an eye on his friend. 

At the convenience store, Hyunjin leaves to find himself and Felix something to eat, telling Seungmin he was on his own despite having dragged him all the way here, but Seungmin just sighs as he storms over to one of the fridges and pulls out a bottle of iced coffee. 

Minho’s eyes are glued to his phone, holding it up in just a way that he can easily peek over it to Seungmin if he needs to. Arguably, he looks as if he’s just scrolling through social media. In reality, he’s looking for the trigger. Something has happened and that’s why Seungmin is in a foul mood, and Minho hadn’t paid attention to what that is. 

He figures out what it is at the same time Seungmin walks down one of the aisles stocked with magazines towards the front of the store, and he pauses when one of them catches his eye. Minho lowers his phone as soon as he’s figured it out, eyes instantly finding Seungmin, and he sighs when he sees him among a small forest of glossy pages. 

Figuratively tip-toeing his way over, Minho is only vaguely aware of Hyunjin two aisles over looking over the packaged food available while trying to decide what Felix would like. Seungmin is staring at one of the magazines so intensely, Minho would have thought he could light it on fire with pure force of will alone. “So, that’s why you’re so pissy,” he murmurs. 

Seungmin tears his eyes away from the magazine cover to look up at Minho. Then he looks back down at the magazine cover before, as if realizing what he’s doing, he turns away and pretends he hasn’t seen it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says through gritted teeth, coffee clutched in both his hands. 

Minho reaches out and plucks the magazine from the stand. Seungmin can’t help it, his eyes are drawn to it, and he watches as Minho flicks through it with mild interest. “I thought it was because of Felix. I know he won’t shut up about their new album dropping soon, but you’re usually pretty good at just ignoring him once he gets going,” Minho murmurs. He pauses on one page of the magazines, eyebrows raising in surprise. “Wow.” 

And like a starved dog, Seungmin can’t help his curiosity. “What?” He demands, grabbing onto Minho’s arm so he can tilt the magazine in his direction. He doesn’t know what he expects, maybe something unexpected, but Minho is just open to one of the photo spreads. 

“Jisungie looks good these days, huh?” Minho remarks. 

Seungmin’s eyes remain shamefully glued to the photo spread of Han Jisung—Han, now, as he’s professionally known. Minho is right. He does look good in a way he really shouldn’t, a way he doesn’t have the right to, but he’s famous now. His looks are carefully curated, and the white t-shirt and ripped black jeans look ridiculously good on him despite how mundane it is. Maybe because he looks oddly normal to Seungmin. He almost looks like he had back in high school, dumb headphones around his neck and all. It’s only his hair that stands out really, a shock of dark pink or maybe red. Seungmin doesn’t really know what to call it other than unique. 

He forces himself to look away from the magazine, telling himself that his racing heart is in anticipation of the caffeine he’s about to ingest. “He looks like a dork,” he snorts, “like always.” 

He takes a step towards the cashier only to pause when Minho says, “Seems like they’re pretty happy to show off his soulmark these days too. Or at least they don’t care as much.” 

The urge to turn around and snatch the magazine from Minho is strong, but Seungmin’s willpower is stronger. He hadn’t seen it although he knew exactly where it was. At this point, he’s just used to seeing it covered up. “Daring option,” he mutters under his breath. 

“Only for you,” Minho snorts. “You could show yours off a little more, you know. It’s not like anyone would ever guess your Han Jisung is the world famous Han.” 

“Don’t call him that.” 

“Why? It’s true. Even Felix knew about 3RACHA from Australia.” 

Clenching his jaw, Seungin spins on his heels and stalks back to Minho. He’s got this satisfied little grin on his lips as Seungmin approaches like he got exactly what he wanted. He doesn’t even flinch when Seungmin snatches the magazine from his hands. 

The younger man resolutely tries to ignore the picture Minho had been looking at. The white T-shirt was shorter than Seungmin had initially thought, not exactly cropped, but not long enough to cover the bit of his soulmark that Seungmin knows is on his hip. Even with the brief glimpse, no one would ever know what name was scrawled out on the skin there, not unless his stylists suddenly decided to let him perform without pants. 

He flips through the magazine, through the other pictures until he lands on Changbin’s photos. He shoves the magazine back into Minho’s face who dramatically pretends to be horrified by the onslaught. It doesn’t help. Seungmin’s chest still feels empty as he finally walks up to the cashier to pay for his coffee at the same time Hyunjin gets there. 

Hyunjin startles when he bumps into Seungmin and then blinks slowly as he takes in his tense body language. He doesn’t say anything, can tell by the way Seungmin presses his lips together that he would probably die a little on the inside if Hyunjin asks if he’s okay. Instead, Hyunjin dumps the handful of items he grabbed for his and Felix’s lunch on the counter and nudges Seungmin out of the way. 

“This is all together,” Hyunjin smiles at the cashier and pulls out his card. 

“You didn’t have to,” Seungmin mumbles after Hyunjin pulls his card out of the chip reader. 

His friend shrugs his shoulders, digging the coffee out of the little bag the cashier had put everything in. He presses it into Seungmin’s hands and smiles. “Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to do something nice.” 

“God knows Sourpuss over here needs it,” Minho teases as he walks up to them. He’s still got that cursed magazine in one hand. Seungmin can’t help but stare at it as he stabs his plastic straw through the top of his coffee. He watches in horror as Minho hands it over to the cashier and pays for it. 

“You read magazines, hyung?” Hyunjin blurts out as he watches Minho buy it. Minho didn’t read anything unless it was 280 characters or less and on Twitter. He might occasionally read a few textbook paragraphs for school too. 

“No.” Minho grabs the magazine and turns to Seungmin. Seungmin’s fixation on the magazine hadn’t escaped his notice. With a coy smile, Minho offers the magazine to him. 

Seungmin shies away from it like the magazine might set him on fire from the inside out if he gets too close to it.

Hyunjin snorts at Minho and jokes, “Really? You bought a magazine featuring 3RACHA for their greatest hater?” 

“I don’t hate them,” Seungmin replies automatically, it’s practically robotic at this point. It was a joke. A teasing title bestowed upon him by Felix who couldn’t understand how Seungmin wasn’t tripping over himself and completely obsessed with 3RACHA. Felix who apparently couldn’t understand the concept of different musical tastes. “I just don’t like their music. It’s not really my style,” says Seungmin. It’s the same explanation he always has because it’s true. 

Hyunjin hums, accepting Seungmin’s answer because he knows the kind of soothing R&B songs that Seungmin prefers. 3RACHA’s heavy beats and raps weren’t really his thing. Minho, on the other hand, cocks his eyebrow skeptically but at least lowers that accursed magazine to his side. 

“I just don’t like their music!” Seungmin insists when he catches Minho staring. 

“Of course,” Minho agrees dryly. Seungmin glowers at him in warning, eyes briefly flicking to Hyunjin before meeting the older man’s eyes. Minho takes the hint and quickly changes the subject. “Of course I didn’t waste my money on Seungmin,” he sighs in response to Hyunjin’s original question. “It’s for Felix.” 

“Oh, Lix will love it,” Hyunjin agrees. 

“Lix probably already bought one,” Seungmin adds. 

“Do you really think he’ll be upset if he gets another one for free?” Minho points out as he tucks the magazine under his arm. “My New Year’s resolution was to do something kind at least once a day, and this is it for me, so don’t expect anything else. Now, if you two are done, shall we be on our way?” 

As it turns out, Felix hadn’t bought that magazine yet although he had planned to, so it’s a welcome surprise when Minho gives it to him along with his lunch. 

“Oh, my God!” Felix doesn’t even touch his food as he flips open the magazine. He doesn’t even read it, Seungmin notes. He just flips to the photo spread and interview of 3RACHA, sticking his nose into the pages as if he were reading a fantastic novel and not just staring at pictures and reading short answers about their musical inspirations. 

Seungmin sips on his coffee and is grateful for the fact that he couldn’t see any of the photos by accident with the way Felix is holding it, not that his gaze ever travels that way. No. Never. 

“So, why did they randomly drop photos in a magazine?” Hyunjin asks as he leans over into Felix’s personal space to take a look too. He squints, trying to read the small text of the interview, but it’s too difficult with the way Felix keeps flipping back and forth between the different pages. 

“It’s not random,” Felix scoffs as if Hyunjin should know this. “Their new album drops at the end of this week. Friday.” 

“Oh.” Hyunjin scratches his chin. “Is that this week?” 

Yes, Seungmin thinks to himself. He knows all about that, practically has the date ingrained on the back of his eyelids and burnt into the forefront of his brain not because he liked 3RACHA but because Felix had been going on about it for nearly a month and a half since it was first announced. It’s going to be miserable, and Seungmin is grateful for the fact that it at least drops late on Friday because it will mean he gets a whole weekend of peace before Felix and Hyunjin inevitably blast the new album for the next few weeks at lunch. 

“Oh, wow, look.” Hyunjin reaches out to stop Felix from turning to the next page. “Han’s got his soulmark on his hip. That’s kinda hot.” 

“Where?” Felix practically buries his face into the magazine. 

Minho can’t help it when he glances at Seungmin, but the younger man has maintained a carefully blank expression. He just sucks a little more viciously on his straw, finishing up the last of his coffee. 

“Aw! Look at that,” Hyunjin coos, pointing to something else on the page. “They asked about his soulmate.” 

Seungmin freezes, eyes shaking as he listens to Hyunjin read out the short excerpt. 

“‘You’ve been showing off little bits of your soulmark these days. What kind of person do you think your soulmate is? Or what kind of person do you want your soulmate to be?’ And Han said, ‘I would hope my soulmate is someone who loves  music as much as me, and obviously loves my music, but more importantly I hope my soulmate is someone with a kind heart and sweet smile.’ Isn’t that adorable?” 

Seungmin accidentally sucks the straw into his mouth far enough that it hits the back of his throat. He gags, choking as he drops the empty coffee cup onto the table. Tears prick at the corner of his eyes as he begins coughing and he holds a hand up to cover his mouth, waving Hyunjin and Felix off when they both look up from the magazine to stare at him. 

“It’s nothing,” he chokes out between coughing fits. “Just an accident.” 

They turn their attention to Minho afterwards who couldn’t help but snort after listening to the interview too. “Sorry,” he apologizes, glancing at Seungmin. His friend is red faced, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, and it just makes him laugh harder. “The answer was just funny.” Seungmin kicks his leg underneath the table, and Minho really has to fight to keep the grimace from his expression. 

“I think it’s a cute answer,” Felix protests. 

“It’s generic as fuck,” Minho counters. Seungmin tries to kick him again, but Minho is ready this time. 

“Oh, whatever. You guys just hate them for no reason!” Felix accuses. It’s not something he actually takes that seriously, but he always falls back on that joke whenever Seungmin or Minho respond to his excitement in a remotely negative way. 

“I just choked on my straw,” Seungmin defends. “I didn’t say anything.” 

Felix turns his attention to Seungmin and seizes the opportunity to get his friend to say at least one positive thing about them. “Right? It’s a cute answer, right? It’s not that generic. I mean, how can he get specific if he hasn’t met his soulmate yet?” 

Seungmin opens his mouth and then quickly closes it again, glancing to Minho for damage control, but the elder is also quiet. This was a little bit awkward, but before Felix could pick up on it, Hyunjin managed to interject with a joking, “Yeah, how’s he gonna know if he hasn’t met me yet?” 

Seungmin has never been so glad for one of Hyunjin’s typically ill-timed jokes, and he awkwardly laughs along with Felix as he reaches out to right his empty coffee. “Right. I’m sure he’d be all over you the second he sees you,” Seungmin replies dryly. “Remember that time a celebrity started dating Hyunjin because he just fell in love with his good looks and charms at first sight? No? Oh, right because that will never happen.” 

“You’re such a hater,” Hyunjin sticks his tongue out at him. “And just wait. All I’d have to do is meet one of them. You know, the only impossible part about this plan.” 

“Right?” Felix sighs as he finally closes the magazine. “They’re having a meet and greet this weekend after the album drops, but good luck getting into that. Just trying to get tickets would be a shit show, and they’d all be bought up by bots anyway.” 

Hyunjin takes a sip of the soda he bought with his lunch before pointing a finger at Minho. “Like that guy? We should just ask Minho to try and get us tickets. He always manages to get tickets to their shows, remember?” 

Felix whirls around to Minho, scooting closer to the older man as he widens his eyes and puckers his lips into a cute pout. “Hyung,” he whines, and he doesn’t even have to ask his question before Minho’s sighing and pushing him back across the bench towards Hyunjin. “You’re so good at that stuff, hyung. I’ve never understood how you manage to get those tickets.” 

“He’s a bot,” Hyunjin insists. 

“I can try to get two,” Minho offers, waiting for their cheers to die down before he points at Hyunjin and says, “You’re not going though.” 

“Why not?” Hyunjin squawks. 

Minho raises his eyebrows at him and says, “Aren’t you supposed to be working on an end of the semester showcase, or have I forgotten something.” 

Hyunjin stares at him blankly for a moment before he’s hit by the sudden reminder. With a gasp, he brings his hands to his head and cradles it like he’s trying to soothe the headache he knows will be coming this weekend. “Fuck, I totally forgot,” he moans. “Thank god you remembered. My group mates would have been pissed.” 

“Oh.” Felix’s brief disappointment is replaced with hope as he looks back at Minho. “Well, you and I can go together, right hyung?” 

Minho smiles apologetically at him. “Sorry, Felix. I wasn’t planning on trying to get tickets because I couldn’t make it anyway. I’ve got something important to do this weekend.” 

After all these years of knowing him, Seungmin is still impressed by how easily and smoothly Minho can lie sometimes. Minho doesn’t have weekend plans. He almost never has weekend plans other than waking up and staying in bed, naked, until he eventually has to get up to make lunch before going back to bed, naked. And if he can’t spend his weekend like that then he’s done something wrong during the week. Seungmin knows this. He’s known this about Minho since he was in middle school and his mom sent him over to Minho’s house for a Saturday because she had to work, and Minho was the nice older boy who just started high school and sometimes babysat for her. 

So when Minho glances his way, Seungmin is ready to call him out for his lies and tell him to just go with Felix to the stupid meet and greet event. The words get lodged in his throat, though, and Seungmin is unable to get them out when Minho points to Seungmin and suggests he and Felix go together.  

“You want to send Felix to a 3RACHA meet and greet with their biggest hater?” Hyunjin asks skeptically. 

“I don’t—” Seungmin raises his voice to insist, once again, that he doesn’t hate them before quickly giving up with a sigh. It’s just the title he should bear proudly at this point. 

Unlike Hyunjin, Felix seems to have absolutely no qualms at the prospect of going together with Seungmin. He actually seems excited about it. “Seungmin, please? I can’t go alone! And this is the perfect opportunity to show why they’re perfect and amazing.” 

Seungmin shifts in his seat uncomfortably and wishes that he still had some of his coffee left over so he would have an excuse to not respond to Felix. “I—” 

“It’s decided then,” Minho interjects before Seungmin can finish his thought. “If we get tickets, Seungmin will go with Felix.” 

The young Australian cheers at the proposal while Hyunjin laughs at Seungmin’s expense and says, “Have fun. And try not to be mean to their faces.” 

Seungmin wants to say that it won’t be a problem because one, he’s not actually that rude, and two, he doesn’t plan on going away. “I’m not going to be mean to their face. I’m not rude,” he protests, never quite getting around to insisting that he’s not going to go either. “And, I mean, that’s assuming we even get tickets.” He glances at Minho meaningfully, but his friend just turns a smile to Felix. 

“When do they go on sale?” He asks sweetly. 

“Tomorrow at two,” Felix replies because of course he already has that shit memorized. “I’m ditching my sociology class at one just to make sure I’m ready for it.” 

“That dedicated, huh?” Seungmin remarks. 

“You’ve never ditched a class in your life. You wouldn’t understand,” Minho chides him. “You’ll drag yourself to class even if you’re sick and dying.” 

“No, I don’t,” Seungmin rolls his eyes. “I just don’t get that sick.” 

“I’m helping with the cause too,” Hyunjin volunteers with a raise of his hand. He looks at Seungmin and motions to him next. “You should help too. Between the four of us, someone is bound to be able to get two tickets, right?” 

Seungmin grumbles that there’s no reason to even try that hard while glaring at Minho, but the older man resolutely ignores him. Louder, he says, “I have an O Chem test next week I need to start studying for since I might be busy this weekend, so you’ll have to manage it without me.” He smiles at Felix when his friend pouts and silently begs for his help. “Sorry, Lix. The most I can offer is moral support.” 

Sighing, Felix folds his arms on top of the table and finally looks down at the convenience store dosirak Hyunjin bought for him. “I guess it’ll have to do,” he says morosely. Hyunjin pats him on the back while murmuring words of comfort that Seungmin could use himself right about now. 

He stares blankly down at the table as dread begins to claw its way out of his gut. God, this weekend is going to suck. 

The commute from campus to Minho’s apartment is busy although Seungmin manages to snag a seat on the subway before Minho when a high schooler he’d been standing in front of got up. Minho holds on to one of the handles above the seats and peers down at Seungmin as he flips through the study guide he made for his upcoming test. He invited Seungmin to come over after lunch, figuring that his friend would want to talk. Seungmin is more angry than Minho originally thought though. 

“Are you really that upset about going?” Minho asks. 

Seungmin doesn’t even look up from his notes when he replies, “What makes you think I’m upset?” 

“Well, normally you’re nice enough to offer me the first seat,” Minho points out. 

Sucking in a deep breath, Seungmin forces himself to look up at his friend and asks, “Do you want to sit down?” He strains to keep his tone friendly and prevent the frustration from coming through. 

“No,” Minho answers. “I’m good standing.” 

Seungmin huffs, wondering why he bothered to complain if he was fine. “I’m not angry,” he lies because he is just a little bit annoyed. “I’m just stressed because of this test next week. It’s my last midterm in O Chem before finals, and now I have to go with Felix to this thing over the weekend instead of studying.” 

“So, you’re stressed because of this test,” Minho says slowly, “not because you’re going to see Jisungie this weekend?” 

Seungmin looks up from his notes sharply, and the unhappy line of his lips make it clear exactly what is upsetting him, and it isn’t the test. “I can’t believe you, by the way,” he grumbles. “Since we’re on the subject. What the hell were you thinking?” 

“What was I thinking?” Minho snorts. “I was thinking that it’s been almost three miserable years since you last saw your soulmate or even talked to him. I was thinking maybe it’s time you guys see each other again.” Jisung and Seungmin practically grew up together, had known they were soulmates since they were old enough to grasp the concept, and somehow managed to remain separated longer than they ever did actually dating. And Seungmin is miserable. Minho knows he is despite all the effort he goes through to try and hide it. 

“He broke up with me!” Seungmin hisses. And he hasn’t said a word to Seungmin since, he thinks to himself. “Clearly he doesn’t want to see me anymore. Showing up to his fan meet seems very stupid and the exact opposite of what he wants.” 

“That’s not what he says,” Minho counters. “And how would you know what he wants? When was the last time you talked to him?” 

Seungmin presses his lips into a thin line and doesn’t respond. He answers Minho’s question without even uttering a word. Three years. Seungmin hasn’t talked to him in three years, hasn’t spoken a single word to him since the fight that ended their relationship. 

“And I suppose you talk to him all the time then?” Seungmin asks, meaning to sound condescending, but he just sounds desperately curious to hear about him. 

“Occasionally. When I find the chance. He’s really busy these days,” Minho says. 

“And, what? You talk about me?” Seungmin buries his nose into his notes. 

“No, Jisung actively avoids talking about you,” Minho tells him. Annoyed, Seungmin flicks his gaze up to glare at his friend again, opening his mouth to reiterate why the hell he thought he was doing Seungmin any favors by bullying him into seeing his ex if he ex doesn’t even want to see him but he doesn’t get the chance to because Minho explains, “I talk to Chan-hyung more often. We talk about it.” 

Embarrassed, Seungmin holds his study guide up to his face to hide behind. He doesn’t know what to think about Chan and Minho discussing his broken relationship with Jisung. “That’s…” He doesn’t know what he wants to say. 

“He worries about Jisung,” Minho tells him. “And I worry about you.” 

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Seungmin assures him, trying to get his turbulent emotions back under control. “I’m fine. I’m fine with the way things are right now.” 

“Are you?” Minho leans down and pulls the study guide away from his friend’s face. 

“I am,” Seungmin bites back. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Because he’s your soulmate, and you’re his,” Minho says simply. “And you, more than anyone, should understand what that means.” 

“Tell him that,” Seungmin retorts harshly, fighting to keep his voice down because the train is crowded and he’s sure at least one of their neighbors is eavesdropping in on this conversation. “Music meant more to him than I ever did—” 

“I watched the two of you grow up practically,” Minho cuts him off. “Don’t give me that bullshit.” 

“Whatever.” Seungmin pulls his notes away from Minho’s hand and shoves his nose back into them. 

Minho lets him, staring down at his friend with a thoughtful expression. He’s quiet until the subway reaches the next stop, one more to get to Minho’s, and waits until the passengers have done their little shuffle as some get off and more get on. “Are you sure you really want to go to this thing with Felix? Chan will be delighted if you do, you know, but you don’t have to.” 

“Don’t have to?” Seungmin scoffs. “Is that really fair of you to say after you basically bullied me into being Felix’s babysitter?” 

“Just say you don’t want to then,” Minho goads him. “I’ll magically cancel my made up plans and go with him instead.” 

Seungmin takes a deep breath and lifts his gaze up to Minho. The older man cocks an eyebrow at him, waiting for Seungmin to just say he doesn’t want to go. He just has to say it, and Minho will cover for him. There’s a lead weight in his throat, though, and he looks back down at his study guide without a word. 

“That’s what I thought,” Minho murmurs quietly. It’s not teasing or mean, just an observation, a note that he was right to push Seungmin a little bit this time. He’s always been respectful of Seungmin’s boundaries and limits in this aspect, careful of the raw wounds that, three years on, Seungmin hasn’t managed to heal, but he’s also not one to sugar coat his words either. “You want to see him again.” 

“I don’t want to see him,” Seungmin denies automatically. “Felix just doesn’t want to go alone.” 

Minho reaches out to ruffle Seungmin’s hair affectionately. “It’ll be okay,” he assures him. “You only get, like, two minutes to talk anyway. Not even you can start a fight in that amount of time.” 

Seungmin laughs at Minho’s joke and tucks his notes away into his bag when the train slows to a stop at Minho’s station. “Right,” he agrees. “It…it’ll be fine.” What could go wrong in two minutes anyway? Seungmin’s pretty sure  they were unlikely to even say more than three words to each other. Probably just a “how’s it going?” and then Seungmin would take his autograph and leave like he actually cared to have it.

Yeah, fine. It would be fine. 

[1:04] lixie
minnie, where even r u? 

[1:07] seungmin
North library. Why? 

[1:07] lixie
u on the third floor in the usual spot? jinnie and I are coming. Gotta get set up.

Seungmin eyes the message curiously for a minute before promptly forgetting about it when the pull of getting his homework done brings his attention back to his laptop. He wants to try and clear out as much time as possible so that he can focus on this upcoming midterm. 

Less than ten minutes later, Felix shows up with Hyunjin in tow. He’s got his laptop tucked under his arm and a coffee in hand as he marches for the table Seungmin has occupied for himself. Seungmin catches one glimpse of them and then immediately starts gathering his textbook and notebooks he has sprawled out across the table, turning them into a neat pile to make room because if he doesn’t Felix or Hyunjin will inevitably shove something aside. 

Felix flops down in the seat across from Seungmin and sets his laptop on the table, flipping it open wordlessly. His expression is so serious, Seungmin would have thought he was gearing himself up for finals rather than trying to buy tickets to a meet and greet event. “This is perfect. The library’s wifi is the best,” he murmurs to himself. Seungmin raises an eyebrow at him, but Felix is too focused on his screen to notice. 

Hyunjin at least has the decency to greet Seungmin first. “Seungmin-ah~” He sings his name in an accent and sets down one of the two iced coffees he’s holding in front of Seungmin. 

He looks at the coffee and then Hyunjin, murmuring out a thank you as he eagerly accepts the free gift of caffeine. “Isn’t it, like, a little too early to be getting ready for this? Don't you have an hour or something?” 

“It’s never too early when you’re facing stiff competition,” Felix says in a sagely voice. His hands are already quivering a little even as he just holds them up in front of his keyboard. Seungmin can’t tell if it’s because of the caffeine or not. 

“Okay,” he says with a shrug. He certainly isn’t going to stand in Felix’s way. 

He pauses to take a sip of his coffee, and, as if this is the opening he’s waiting for, Hyunjin lunges across the table to snatch Seungmin’s laptop and drags it next to his own. “Hey!” Seungmin protests. “I’m doing homework.” 

“Your stupid calculus problems can wait,” Hyunjin assures him and then pauses as he stares at the unfamiliar keyboard. “Windows is so weird. How do you bring up a new tab? Where’s your command button?” He gives up on the keyboard and uses the trackpad to click on the new tab button on Seungmin’s browser. 

“Windows is better than the Apple OS,” Seungmin argues as he reaches across the table to drag his laptop back to his side. Hyunjin was clearly in the middle of trying to set him up to attempt for the tickets too, but Seungmin just closes out of that tab. Besides, Jisung liked Apple, so Seungmin, naturally, stuck to androids and Windows.

“Agreed,” Felix adds in Seungmin’s defense. “There are, like, no games compatible with MacOS.” 

Seungmin returns to his homework, expertly tuning out Felix and Hyunjin’s squabble over which operating system  is superior. He’s had years of practice by now, and it’s easy enough when these calculus questions require him to actually think. It’s not until they eventually drop the subject—with no real winner in the end as per usual—and Hyunjin addresses him again that Seungmin is briefly pulled from his focus to look at him. 

“So, does this mean Seungmin will actually have to buy a 3RACHA album for once?” 

“Why would I have to buy one?” Seungmin asks sharply. 

“Well, what else are you gonna ask them to sign if you show up without one?” Hyunjin rolls his eyes. 

Seungmin wants to reiterate that, again, this is all dependent on actually getting in, but he doesn’t bother. Despite giving it an honest shot on their own, they basically all know that Minho will come up with tickets somehow. Hyunjin will claim he’s a bot, Felix will call him a miracle worker, and Seungmin will wonder if Minho and Chan talked about him again when Minho asked him for tickets as a favor. 

“You should get it,” Felix says eagerly. He clamps down on his enthusiasm just a bit when Seungmin turns his bewildered expression to him. “Their teasers all sound great, and their style’s changed a lot since their debut. You might like them now. Plus, their B-sides are amazing. Especially now that they’re expressing their own individual styles with them.” 

Seungmin licks his lips and denies that his curiosity is piqued. He hasn’t listened to Jisung’s music in years. Not since, well, since they were on good terms because as much as Felix sang their praises and blasted their music at any opportunity, Seungmin always tuned it out, never paid close enough attention to determine if there had ever been a shift in their music. “Individual styles?” He asks, clearly sounding too curious because Felix brightens up and immediately pounces on his moment of weakness. 

“Yeah! Like Bang Chan is probably the most experimental. You never know what kind of song it’ll be when he writes it, and Changbin does a lot of, like, party anthem stuff—other things too, obviously,” he adds quickly because “party anthem” is definitely not the way to hook Seungmin. “And Han writes a lot of sappy and sad love songs.” 

Seungmin stares at his math homework without actually seeing it. “Sad love songs?” he repeats. It didn’t sound like Jisung at all. He liked love songs because Seungmin liked them, but he didn’t typically do sad anything. Seungmin always remembered his music as upbeat. Something that was easy to wake up to and always used to bring a smile to his face. 

“It’s, like, his favorite genre,” Hyunjin agrees. “You know it’s gonna be a sad ass love song if it’s got his name on it.” 

“They’re really good, though,” Felix defends. “Maybe you’d like it. You like that kinda thing, don’t you?” 

Seungmin isn’t paying attention because he’s already pulled up a new tab and quickly typed in “3RACHA Han Jisung songs” before viciously hitting the backspace button. No, no, he is not at all tempted to listen to any of those tracks, doesn’t want to know if their break up might have inspired one or all of the songs. Seungmin definitely isn’t tucking away that google search in the back of his mind to pull out again at a later time, preferably in the comfort of his own dorm where the only person who might hear him listening to his ex’s songs is his roommate. And Seungmin is pretty sure that Jeongin wouldn’t care. 

“Anyway, my point is you should give the album a listen,” says Felix. “You might like it.” 

“I—” Seungmin hesitates, staring down at the scratch paper he’d been using to solve his calculus homework. “I'll think about it.” 

Felix beams at him and cheers, “That’s all I ask, but also you will need an album for the meet and greet. Otherwise you’ll look super weird. And we are going. I’m sure of it. I can practically feel the ticket in my hand already.” 

“It’s digital,” Seungmin points out. 

“On my phone then!” 

Seungmin smiles at him. Felix is so cute sometimes. “There’s only ten minutes to two,” he says after glancing down at the clock on his computer. 

“Shit!” Felix sits up straighter, hands poised over his keyboard as he keeps tapping on his trackpad. Seungmin guesses he’s frantically refreshing his page to try and get in as soon as possible. 

Seungmin finishes up two more problems when Felix suddenly cries out, slamming his laptop shut before crumpling on top of it. He looks over the top of his own laptop to stare down at Felix, quirking an eyebrow at him. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s already sold out,” Felix complains. 

Seungmin glances down at the clock on his computer, watching as the 2:00 ticks over to 2:01. “It’s been less than a minute,” he says. 

“I haven’t even loaded in yet,” Hyunjin squeaks. 

“Yeah, and they’re already sold out,” says Felix. 

“Well, then.” Hyunjin reaches out and quietly closes his Macbook. Clearly there isn’t any point now. 

Is that how popular they were now? Seungmin had an inkling, but never really saw it in action. He didn’t think that they would have any issue selling out their meet and greet, but he didn’t expect it to take less than a minute. He hisses sympathetically and leans forward to pat Felix on the back of his hand. “Sorry,” he says. 

“There’s still Minho!” Hyunjin exclaims. “Maybe he managed to get something.” 

“It was less than a minute,” Felix bemoans. 

Right on time, Seungmin gets a text from Minho. Picking his phone up, Seungmin presses his lips together when he realizes that all Minho texts him is a transfer to confirm the ticket is now in his hands. “Speak of the devil,” he mutters to himself. “Did you get a text from Minho?” He asks Felix. 

Immediately, Felix dives for his phone, holding it up to his face as he looks for a text from Minho. He squeals and lifts his phone up victoriously. “He got them!” He says. “Oh, my God. He actually got them.” 

“Bot,” Hyunjin mutters. 

Felix is already out of his seat, unable to contain his energy. He rounds the table to Seungmin’s side and pulls his friend into a hug. “My apartment. Saturday morning. We’re going to have so much fun together!” 

“Yeah,” Seungmin agrees, trying to fake his enthusiasm. “Fun. It’s going to be so fun.” 

He’s going to see Jisung. He’s actually going to have to face his ex. Swallowing down the nervous lump in his throat, Seungmin looks down at his trembling hands and clasps them together before Hyunjin or Felix can notice. Fun. Right, this would be fun. 

The rest of his week passes by in a complete blur. All of Seungmin’s plans kind of fell apart on him because every time he tried to execute on his plans, thoughts of Jisung would inevitably come up. The fact that he has to see him this weekend just ensured that his ex was all he could think about that week. He worries about what might happen. Would Jisung be happy to see him? Would he be mad? Maybe he would just pretend to not know who Seungmin is, treat him like any other fan, and Seungmin would come out just feeling angrier with his ex than ever. 

And with those thoughts would go the time he allotted for studying for his test is gone or no progress had been made on his homework. He can’t even try to squeeze in something Saturday morning before the meet and greet because he wakes up to a text from Felix telling him to get ready and come over as soon as possible. 

With a sigh, Seungmin bends down to sift through his drawers as he silently questions what the hell one wears to a meet and greet event. He should probably dress up, right? Not a suit and tie or anything, but maybe just something nice? It makes sense. Their fans probably want them to notice them, and dressing up is a good way of doing that, so Seungmin pulls out a ratty old pair of jeans he’s had since high school and an oversized black hoodie to hide himself in. 

Yeah, he thinks as he stares at himself in the mirror, this is perfect. Maybe Jisung won’t even know he’s there if he just pulls the hood up. 

Or, it would be perfect if Minho and Felix didn’t both stare at him in horror when he shows up on Felix’s doorstep. Seungmin thinks he could fight off Felix long enough for him to eventually give in and just let him do what he wants, but Minho wouldn’t let him go that easily. 

“What are you doing here?” Seungmin squints at his friend. 

“Uh, I got the tickets, and Felix wanted to make sure he looked cute,” Minho explains dismissively as he eyes Seungmin up and down. “What the hell are you wearing?” Seungmin wouldn’t even dress like this on a normal day. This is the kind of thing he wore at home where no one is looking, and Minho only knows because this is how he dressed when Minho used to come over and babysit him. 

“Something comfortable,” Seungmin responds. He hugs the hoodie around himself, digging his fingers into the long sleeves like he can already feel Minho ripping it off of him. “And loose in case I need to hide.” 

Minho places his hands on his hips and tilts his head. His expression is impatient, and Seungmin can tell he’s waiting for the younger man to just comply and take off this ridiculous hoodie. 

“Why would you need to hide?” Felix asks. He sounds concerned, reaching out to touch Seungmin’s elbow. 

“Do you even remember where you got that thing?” Minho asks slowly. 

Seungmin drops his head to look down at himself and—oh, yeah—he’d forgotten about that. It had been a birthday gift from Jisung a long time ago. He looks back up at Minho and curls his hands into the front of the hoodie. If he thought that was enough to get Seungmin to shimmy out of it he was wrong. “I didn’t know there was a dress code,” he sniffs. 

“I mean, there isn’t,” Felix admits. “But, I mean…” 

“You’re not going like that,” Minho finishes for him. 

“Why not?” 

Instead of answering, Minho turns to Felix and smiles charmingly at him. “Lixie, do you mind if Seungmin borrows some of your clothes? Just for today?”

“Yeah, sure.” Felix looks at Seungmin briefly before nodding his head. They’ve never shared clothes before, but Felix thinks his clothes might fit him. 

“You finish getting ready,” Minho says with a pat on Felix’s shoulder. Then he turns to Seungmin with a serious expression and seizes him by the arm. He adds, “I’m going to get this one cleaned up.” 

He drags Seungmin into the privacy of Felix’s room, closes the door behind them, and then whirls on his friend. Seungmin sinks down into the hoodie, proving that he is right. He can hide in this if he really wants to, and he really wants to hide from Minho’s judgmental gaze right now. 

“So, what exactly was the strategy? To try and go unnoticed this way?” Minho asks as he steps up to grab the hem of Seungmin’s hoodie, lifting it up to reveal a plain, white T-shirt underneath. He sighs. 

“I mean, I guess?” Seungmin admits. 

With a shake of his head, Minho heads for Felix’s closet, sifting through the hangers of clothes before bending down to open the drawers of his dresser. “Take it all off,” Minho orders him, “because I’ll tell you what, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb if you go dressed like that.” 

“But I don’t want to dress up,” Seungmin protests. He doesn’t want to look like he put in effort. 

“So dressing up like you plan to spend your Saturday alone in your dorm bed, crying over your ex and eating take out is the next best thing?” Minho asks in disbelief. “What do I always say about the way you dress?” 

Seungmin bites his lips and watches silently as Minho pulls out a pair of black jeans, wondering if he’d fit into them. Minho looks at him from over his shoulder, and Seungmin scrambles to pull off the hoodie. “That how we present ourselves gives off an impression on others,” he grumbles to himself as he lets the hoodie drop to the floor. 

“Yes, that’s why everyone thinks you’re a certified nerd because you love sweater vests and cardigans and for some reason you own more khaki pants than jeans,” Minho tells him. 

“They match well with everything though.” 

“So do jeans.” 

Frowning, Seungmin stares at Minho’s back as he sifts through the sweaters hanging in Felix’s closet. It’s spring. Isn’t it too warm for those? “I just don’t want to look like I’m desperate for his attention,” he protests. 

“And what do you suppose he’ll see if you show up looking like a pathetic slob?” Minho counters. “It’s not even about trying to impress him, I just don’t want you to look this pitiful in front of him. You know what screams ‘haven’t moved on?’ the way you’re dressed right now. You don’t have to dress to impress, let’s just make sure you don’t look like you’re still an emotional mess from three years ago? He certainly won’t look it.”   

Minho pulls out a cropped baby blue sweater that doesn’t look like it would be too warm. It’s cute and absolutely looks like something Felix would wear. When Minho turns around to show it to him, Seungmin gulps and nervously eyes the deep v-neck collar. It’s revealing. Seungmin lifts his hand up to cover his collarbone where he knows his soulmark is. 

If he wore that people would see. It’d be exposed and out in the open, and people were bound to notice a soulmark like his at an event like this. It’s pretty eye-catching considering that it’s Han Jisung’s name. That seems like a sure fire way to draw attention to himself. 

Noticing the way Seungmin rubs at his collarbone, Minho inspects the collar of the sweater before looking over his friend. “You can keep the shirt on,” Minho suggests. Showing off his mark might be a bit much. “Take off your pants and change into these.” He shoves the sweater and jeans into Seungmin’s arms, not even waiting before his hands move down to undo the fly of the younger man’s jeans, tugging them down his hips. 

Seungmin cries out in alarm, trying to reach down and stop Minho with one hand while holding on to the clothes with his other. “Stop! Stop! I can change on my own.” 

“I’m just helping,” Minho grins. He pulls Seungmin’s pants down to his ankles and helps him step out of them. Then he holds onto the blue sweater he picked out as Seungmin wiggles into the black jeans. They’re tight, and the hem stops a bit far from his ankles, but Minho nods his head in satisfaction. 

Once Seungmin is fully dressed, he grins and eyes his friend from head to toe once before nodding his head. “Better,” he murmurs to himself. The sweater doesn’t quite fit, stopping just short of the hem of his jeans and revealing a strip of the white shirt, but it would have to do. Regardless it was better than that awful hoodie Seungmin showed up in. Minho bends down to pick up the offending piece of clothing from the ground and folds it over his arm. “I’ll hold on to this for now,” he says. “You can come pick it up from me later.” 

“Okay.” Seungmin tugs at the collar of his shirt and tucks his chin to his chest to look down at himself. He’s still worried that his soulmark might be visible. 

“It’s fine,” Minho assures him as he smacks Seungmin’s hand away and straightens out his rumpled shirt. A hint of ink could be seen beneath Seungmin’s white shirt, but someone would really have to be paying attention to even notice, and the most it really revealed was just that his soulmark is there. 

Seungmin reaches up again and stops when he catches Minho glaring before he drops his hand back to his side. “So, I’m good then?” He asks. 

“Hm, almost,” Minho says as he leads Seungmin to the door and ushers him outside. “Felix! Where are your hats? I need a cute beret.” 

Seungmin isn’t much of a hat wearer and has never worn a beret in his life up until this moment. He feels ridiculous in it and is sure he must look ridiculous too, but he doesn’t dare touch it while Minho is standing next to him. 

They’re ready to go, standing by the elevator, when Felix pats his back pockets and gasps out, “Oh, crap. I think I left my phone on the counter. I’ll be right back.” 

Minho tells him to take his time before turning to face Seungmin after Felix disappears back into his apartment. “Oh, right,” Minho exclaims to break the silence. He reaches into his messenger bag and pulls out the new 3RACHA album, handing it to Seungmin with a benign, “I got this for you.” 

Seungmin stares at the foreign object and reluctantly accepts it when Minho offers it to him. “Thanks,” he says, holding the album awkwardly out at arms length. He totally forgot to pick one up for today. 

“If you make sure they don’t make it out to you specifically, you could probably sell their signed album for quite a bit of money,” Minho suggests. 

Seungmin perks up at the idea. Well, that seemed like a much better idea than stuffing it into the back of his sock drawer to be forgotten. Seungmin could make money and give it to an actual fan. 

“Did you listen to it, hyung?” Seungmin asks, tracing his finger around the corner of the box. 

“Of course I did. I always give their stuff a listen.” 

“Is it good?” 

Minho smiles in that way that his eyes turn into little crescents, and he says, “I like it. I don’t think it’s your style though.” He says the last part teasingly and Seungmin groans. 

“Hyung,” he whines petulantly.  

Minho looks at him and his smile dims a little. “Are you going to be okay?” He asks. 

“Why would I not be okay?” Seungmin rolls his eyes. “It’s just Jisung.” 

Just stupid Jisung with his stupid music and all his stupid fans. He would be fine. What could Jisung even do to him at this point? 

Minho’s lips remained stretched into a smile, kind but not enough to reach his eyes. “You know, I asked Chan-hyung not to tell Jisung that you were coming.” 

Seungmin startles at the confession and blinks at him. “Y-you told Chan-ssi to keep it a secret? Why?” 

“Because,” Minho smiles tightly, still thinking about the way Seungmin chose to address Chan, “I figured it’d be a nice surprise for him when you show up. Or, if you need to chicken out of this, he won’t know either way. Can’t really be disappointed that you don’t show up if he never knew you were supposed to come in the first place, right?” 

“I…”Seungmin clenches his fingers around the album in his hand. “Why would he even be disappointed by that?” He’ll probably be mad if Seungmin does show up. He knows what Minho is really doing though. He’s giving him a way out if he needs it. 

“I think maybe you’ll be surprised then,” Minho mutters back. “Look, I want you to go—seriously, I do—but I understand if it’s too much or you’re not ready.” He sighs like he can’t believe he’s saying that because it’s been almost three years. “I think it’s good for the both of you, but if you’re really just hurting while you’re there, don’t do it. Just leave, okay?” 

“You’re going to say it’s okay to leave after you trapped me into going?” Seungmin accuses. 

“Because I think it’ll be better than you think. I think you’ll thank me for this later because you miss him,” Minho replies. “But if I happen to be really, really wrong, which is unlikely, then just excuse yourself and leave. No one will be mad at you.” 

Seungmin looks down at his feet just as Felix steps out of his apartment with his phone in hand. He takes a deep breath and quietly says, “It’s just Jisung. It’s just him. I’ll be fine.” 

The elevator finally arrives as Felix steps up to them after slipping his phone into his back pocket. “Sorry,” he apologizes, “my phone was actually in the bathroom and it took me a second to find it. Are we ready?” He looks to Seungmin for an answer. 

Seungmin nods his head as Minho ushers them into the elevator. “Yeah,” he says, speaking to both his friends. “I’m ready.” 

He is ready, Seungmin tells himself as he sinks into his seat in the auditorium reserved for this event. He didn’t know how any of this worked, so when they immediately started performing their new title track on their new album, Seungmin lulled himself into a false sense of hope. Is that it, then? Just a mini concert? Seungmin could do that, just another faceless fan in the crowd. 

That confidence is quickly put to the test when they start performing the other songs off the album as well. Seungmin nods his head along to the beat and smiles as he watches Felix sing and cheer along with the music. He’s just happy that his friend is happy honestly. It’s easy enough to just cheer along and enjoy the performance. That is until they perform Jisung’s song. 

Seungmin doesn’t even need them to tell him that their Han wrote this song because Hyunjin was right about his style. All Jisung wrote these days were sad love songs. Seungmin attempted to listen to a handful of them in his free time, but hadn’t managed to get through any of them without tearing up. It felt too personal. Jisung clearly took inspiration from his own personal experiences, and Seungmin didn’t want to hear it. 

He doesn’t have a choice now. Trapped in the middle of the auditorium, he doesn’t have a choice but to sit there and listen to Jisung beautifully belt out the lines to a fucking break up song. 

He sinks down into his seat and tries to ignore it, tune it out the way he’s used to when Felix blasts their music over his phone, but he can’t. It’s so much harder when it’s live with the lyrics coming straight from Jisung’s mouth and everyone around him is singing along. 

Seungmin presses his hands into his stomach and bends over his legs. He feels raw and exposed, almost convinced that Jisung is looking right at him and so is everyone else. He feels accusatory gazes on his back although not even Felix spares him a glance. His chest tightens and his throat constricts, and he has to focus on taking slow deep breaths to keep himself from crying. He wouldn’t cry, not here of all places. 

He’s so focused on the task of not crying that he doesn’t even notice when that damned song finally ends. It’s only when Felix grabs his arm and pulls him out of his seat that Seungmin realizes it’s over. 

“C’mon!” Felix yells in excitement as he yanks Seungmin to his feet only to pause when he notices how wet Seungmin’s eyes are. Hesitating, Felix glances at the line quickly forming down by the stage before focusing back on his friend. “Are you okay?” He asks, reaching out to touch Seungmin’s cheek. 

“I’m fine,” Seungmin insists. His knees are weak, and his hands are quivering. Felix is holding onto him by the forearm though, and Seungmin hopes he doesn’t notice. 

Felix furrows his eyebrows in concern and cocks his head to the side. “You look like you’re about to start crying though,” he murmurs in concern. 

“What?” Seungmin sounds as shocked as Felix looks, reaching up with his free hand to swipe his fingers just under one eye. It comes away wet with a tear, and he quickly blinks them away. “No—I just—the song,” he stutters out, “it was…really sad.” 

Instantly, Felix’s expression morphs from concern to shock and then to a heart melting smile. “Aww, it made you cry? I told you he writes a bunch of sad love songs. I knew you’d love them!” 

Seungmin smiles weakly and doesn’t have the heart to tell Felix that he’s wrong. He doesn’t even like the song. He downright despises it. Despises that Jisung is using their broken relationship to write songs. Minho could have warned him about that if he had listened to the album already. Wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt to make sure his eyes are dry, Seungmin contemplates taking Minho’s advice and excusing himself to go to the bathroom. He didn’t have to go through with this, and he already feels like he’s been stripped bare and left vulnerable from that performance, but Felix still looks a little concerned, and he’s forfeited rushing into line to make sure Seungmin is okay, and—and Seungmin just knows how much this thing means to him. 

Taking a deep breath, Seungmin slaps on his best smile and nudges Felix out of the seats. “Come on,” he encourages. “This is the part you were waiting for, right?” 

“Yeah, but—”

“I’m okay,” he insists. “I was just…surprised. You were right. I guess I liked it so much I cried a little.” 

They’re not the last people in line despite Seungmin’s delay, but they are pretty far in the back. It’s kind of terrible because Seungmin has to stand there, eyes flicking back and forth between Chan and Jisung sitting at opposite ends of a long table, interacting with their fans while he keeps finding weird reasons to hold his hand up to his face to hide. This darn strand of hair just won’t stay in place and these stage lights are kind of bright. He also has his back angled to them, staring at the wall rather than at them in case Jisung recognizes him the closer he gets. The wait is torture though. 

The only upside is that Jisung doesn’t seem to have noticed him yet because he’s too engrossed with all the other fans who take a seat in front of him because every time Seungmin looks over, his ex is leaning forward, eyes fixed on whoever is in front of him with the kind of attention Seungmin would have killed for a few years ago. Huffing, he blows his bangs out of his eyes and squeezes the album in his hand. Or maybe Jisung has noticed him by now, and he’s just choosing to ignore Seungmin. 

He was good at that. 

By the time they’re at the front of the line, Seungmin is hunched over, trying to hide himself behind Felix’s smaller frame, but Jisung still isn’t looking in his direction. Unfortunately, Chan is, and Seungmin blanches when he accidentally catches the older man’s gaze and ducks down further behind Felix. 

When one of the staff motions for Felix to step up next, he practically skips onto the stage and plants himself on the chair in front of Bang Chan. He wastes no time leaning forward and pushing his album across the table to ask for his autograph. 

Seungmin feels way too exposed at the front of the line now, the album providing no real shield against them, but when he risks a glance in Jisung’s direction again, he still doesn’t seem to have noticed. Seungmin isn’t sure if he’s relieved or annoyed by that. 

Felix’s two minutes are up too quickly, and the staff motions for the next person to step up as Felix moves down the line to Changbin, practically bouncing in his seat. 

In the meantime, Seungmin takes a deep breath and marches up onto the stage, his lack of confidence obvious in the way he keeps his head ducked down. He practically dives for the seat in front of Chan, hunching down to try and remain unnoticeable, but as soon as he looks up and catches Chan’s gaze, he freezes. No, he was not ready for this. 

“Seungmin-ah,” Chan greets him warmly as if they’re familiar with each other. A lump lodges itself in his throat. “Long time no see. We’ve missed you.” 

We. 

Chan said “we.” Seungmin can’t stop himself from looking down the table to Jisung again. The lump in his throat only gets bigger because finally, for the first time, he catches Jisung’s eyes, and his ex is staring at him like he can’t figure out if Seungmin is real or not. 

His mouth goes dry, and he forces himself to look back at Chan, bowing his head as he passes the album across the table to him. “Can you please sign this for me, Chan-ssi?” He asks quietly. 

The idol raises an eyebrow at the way Seungmin addresses him but pulls the album closer so he can autograph it. “You can call me hyung, you know,” he murmurs quietly as he peeks at the staff members trying to monitor everything. “We’re not strangers.”

No, he can’t, and yes, they are. 

There was a brief moment a long time ago that Seungmin had called him hyung but not anymore. It didn’t feel right. He always knew Chan more in passing than he ever did personally. Jisung used to talk about him all the time when he was a trainee and desperately trying to split his free time between Seungmin and his dreams. It was always Chan-hyung this or Chan-hyung that, and Jisung thought he was a great mentor and looked forward to working with him. 

Seungmin thought it was cute back then. He liked hearing about how much Jisung admired his hyung, was just happy to know that Jisung had someone who shared and understood his passion, but Seungmin had only really met him a few times, and the last time they saw each other was the day he and Jisung broke up. Seungmin bumped into him after he came storming out of Jisung’s little studio—red-faced, eyes wet from crying, and tear tracks staining his cheeks. When Chan asked him what was wrong, Seungmin glared at him and told Chan that he hated him. He hated him for taking Jisung from him, and then he’d left without another word. 

So, no, Seungmin really doesn’t think he’s got the right to call Chan hyung anymore. 

When Seungmin’s only response is to just stare intently at a spot over Chan’s shoulder without uttering a word, the idol eventually sighs and looks down at the album Seungmin pushed towards him. “Let’s see then,” he mutters to himself, spinning the marker between his fingers. “To our cute, little Seungminnie,” he says out loud while signing the album. 

Seungmin jolts in his seat, ready to protest because he just needs Chan’s autograph. How is he supposed to sell this if Chan’s autograph is specifically made out to him? But the words get lodged in his throat, and he watches quietly as Chan finishes up signing. 

Satisfied, Chan picks up the autographed album and hands it back to Seungmin. When he reaches out to take it. Chan tells him, “I was worried you might not come.” 

Seungmin freezes momentarily before hastily snatching the album from Chan’s hands. “I wasn’t planning on it,” he admits in a quiet mumble. 

“What changed your mind?” 

A hundred answers fly through Seungmin’s brain at once as the staff start moving again, ushering the fan’s down the line. Minho bullied me into it, Minho thinks I should see Jisung again, I want to see Jisung again. But he settles on nodding in Felix’s direction as he stands up from his seat and answers, “I’m today’s babysitter.” 

Chan laughs at his answer while already turning to greet the next fan. Seungmin sits down in the next seat, looks up at Changbin, and visibly relaxes. This is about the most comfortable he’s felt since he showed up, and he can’t really explain why because he barely knows Changbin. He was the last to join their company and group, and Seungmin had only seen him once in passing and never said a word to him until today. 

“Hello,” he greets. 

“Hi,” Changbin returns with an easy smile. There’s a little bit of recognition in his eyes but he doesn’t comment on it. He doesn’t ask if he’s that Seungmin or even make any hint that he actually recognizes him at all. 

Maybe that’s why it’s comfortable. Seungmin can just pretend that he’s any other fan. Changbin doesn’t ask him to call him hyung or make any comments about Jisung. He just smiles at Seungmin. When Seungmin smiles back it doesn’t feel strained or faked, just polite. 

“Your autograph, please,” he asks politely as he slides the album across to him. He can feel Jisung’s eyes on him even while speaking animatedly with Felix, but Seungmin doesn’t give in. He keeps his attention focused on Changbin as he uncaps his pen and signs his album. 

“What do you think?” 

Seungmin falters at the question, blinking at Changbin curiously. “What do I think about what?” He asks. 

Changbin cups his chin in one hand and leans on it, lips curled up in amusement. “The album,” he clarifies. 

“Oh.” The album Seungmin just listened to for the first time today. “It’s good,” he answers and means it. “It’s—it’s the first one I really listened to.”

“Oh, yeah?” He pushes the signed album back towards Seungmin. “Well, I hope you listen to us more.” 

“Yeah,” Seungmin agrees. He doesn’t know if he’s lying or not. He doesn’t have time to dwell on it because the staff is moving again, and Seungmin tenses up. That means he has to move. That means he has to sit in front of Jisung. 

He doesn’t move from his spot until the girl behind him steps up and motions for him to move. She tries to be polite, but Seungmin can tell just how impatient she is. Clearing his throat, Seungmin smiles at her apologetically and reluctantly vacates his seat and shuffles over to Jisung. He eyes the seat in front of him like it’s a death sentence before looking up to Felix who’s standing by the bottom of the stage waiting for him. If it weren’t insanely rude or there weren’t a bunch of eyes on them, Seungmin might have just walked past him, but he’s better than that. He prides himself on being better than his ex, so he sits down, takes a deep breath, and then forces himself to look up. 

Jisung stares at him with wide eyes, lips slightly parted, and it occurs to Seungmin that Jisung is surprised to see him here. So much so that he doesn’t look like he believes it’s really Seungmin in front of him until Seungmin shoves the album in his direction with a grumbled, “Sign, please.” 

Jisung snaps his mouth shut but doesn’t stop staring until he has to physically look at the album to sign it. Not a word is spoken between them, and while Seungmin can’t say he’s surprised, it feels like there’s a void in his chest always filling up with disappointment but never getting full. 

Jisung sets his pen down once he’s finished signing the album, but he doesn’t slide it back over to Seungmin. He folds his hands on top of it and looks back up at his soulmate, bottom lip pulled between his teeth. “You look really cute today,” Jisung blurts out. 

Seungmin is a little ashamed to admit that his heart skips a beat at that compliment, and he suddenly feels like they’re back in middle school or high school. Jisung dropped those kinds of compliments all the time as if he always had them ready in his head, but Seungmin knew he wasn’t that kind of person. Jisung isn’t capable of thinking that far ahead. And Seungmin would always respond with some snarky insult of his own. 

Jisung looks at him expectantly, but Seungmin doesn’t have it in him. His heart stutters, but it doesn’t give him the same rush it used to. It just leaves him feeling awkward and a little bit empty. Brushing his bangs from his eyes, Seungmin’s gaze drops down to the table as he holds his hands out, silently asking for the album back. “You look good too,” he says. “I like your hair.” 

Jisung’s smile drops just the tiniest bit, and he holds onto the album, refusing to give it over yet. “You would’ve yelled at me for doing this to my hair,” he jokes. 

“You’re not a student anymore,” Seungmin reminds him. “You can do whatever you want.” He’s still expectantly waiting for the album. 

“Will you stay behind after this?” Jisung requests. “Just for a little bit. Please?” 

Seungmin hesitates. Why would Jisung ask him to do that? “I…I can’t,” he replies, and Jisung’s expression drops. “I came with a friend.” 

“Friend,” Jisung deadpans, looking over Seungmin’s shoulder at Felix. He practically glowers at Felix, and Seungmin would have reached out to slap him if he weren’t so far away and if security wouldn’t have some choice words for him if he did it. 

“Stop,” he scolds. “He’s just my friend.” 

Jisung tears his gaze away from Felix to look at him again. “So then, can you do it? Just wait outside, and I’ll come get you and your friend as soon as this is over.” 

Seungmin stares at Jisung’s fingers, all adorned with rings and still folded over his album. He doesn’t remember Jisung being a huge fan of rings although he has always liked jewelry. Seungmin still remembers when they were sixteen and Jisung managed to sweet talk his way to his first piercing even though he technically wasn’t old enough while Seungmin lectured him that waiting two more years really wasn’t that long. He still let Jisung hold his hand when he got his first piercings and definitely didn’t encourage it by buying his first pair of earrings. He’s gotten more since then but none while holding Seungmin’s hand.

“Why?” He wants to ask but holds his tongue. He doesn’t really want to know. No, he’s downright afraid of Jisung’s answer. “If Lix doesn’t mind then—” 

“Great!” Jisung beams as if Seungmin hadn’t just laid out a condition for staying behind. He picks up the album and holds it out to Seungmin who sighs as he accepts it. 

Their fingers brush against each other when Seungmin takes it from him, shivering when their fingers touch. It’s like a jolt of electricity travels from his fingers to his spine, pleasant the way it should be between soulmates. 

In many ways, Seungmin is familiar with the sensation. He was used to the pleasant tingle since they were little kids and Jisung would touch his arm or hand just to watch all the goosebumps form over Seungmin’s skin, and Seungmin would always use the same trick to cheat at games, touching Jisung just to make him jolt and throw him off. Jisung would whine until Seungmin made it up to him with a kiss on the cheek and then his lips when they got older.

 Over time Seungmin built up a tolerance for it though, and stopped reacting as strongly to Jisung’s touch even though the pleasant sensation remained. It’s been three years though, maybe even longer considering how little Seungmin saw of Jisung near the end of their relationship, since he’s felt that touch, and it spreads through Seungmin’s body like wildfire. His breath hitches and pupils dilate, and his next move is very, very stupid. 

He reaches out to grab Jisung’s hand when his ex pulls away, half-lunging across the table to reach him because he missed this. He missed Jisung’s touch so much. 

It only occurs to him that he’s made a mistake when he hears a bunch of gasps behind him. Jisung looks surprised by his action but doesn’t say anything as the next series of events unfold too fast for Seungmin to even really process them. 

3RACHA’s manager rushes up to Jisung, placing his hands on the artist’s shoulders and bending down to ask if he’s okay. Jisung turns to tell him something, but Seungmin never has a chance to hear what he says because a security guard grabs him by the wrist and pulls him off stage. If Seungmin had been hoping to low lay he just failed spectacularly because there’s an entire auditorium of eyes watching him as he’s dragged off the stage and out of the venue. Seungmin only briefly catches Felix’s gaze before quickly looking back at his feet. 

The security guard shoves him outside, and Seungmin feels a need to defend himself to this man. He’s not some deranged fan. He’s Han Jisung’s soulmate and even though they might not have any relationship beyond that right now, surely this  response is a bit drastic. He never does get to say a single word though because the guard gives him a once over and then, as if it’s extra punishment, he plucks the signed album from Seungmin’s hands and then closes the door on him. 

For a moment, all Seungmin can do is stare at the closed door, empty handed and in total disbelief. Then he starts laughing, both at him himself for being stupid and desperate enough to grab Jisung like that and at the situation as a whole. He just got kicked out of a meet and greet he didn’t even want to be at in the first place. 

That laugh quickly morphs into a sad little sob, and he has to cover his mouth with a hand to muffle the sounds of his cries. Why was he even sad? He didn’t want to be there. He wipes at his eyes and tries to ignore the way his fingers still tingle with the memory of Jisung’s touch. It’s embarrassment, he rationalizes. All those eyes on him as he’d been led out for giving into a moment of weakness and vulnerability had been too much. He just made a fool of himself in front of more than just his soulmate. 

His phone vibrates in his back pocket, and Seungmin sniffs quietly as he pulls it out to check his message from felix. 

[2:32] lixie
Mini wth happened? Where r u? I’m coming rn

Felix’s nickname is cute, typing it out in English and everything. It only briefly makes Seungmins smile. 

[2:32] seungmin
No, you can stay. There’s a coffee shop a couple blocks from here. I’ll just be there.

[2:33] lixie
but what about u? 

[2:34] seungmin
I’ll just have coffee. Come when you’re done.

There’s still some part where they have to take pictures or something from what Seungmin remembers. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t care anymore. He pockets his phone and trudges off in the direction of the nearby coffee shop and doesn’t check his messages until he’s ordered a coffee. 

[2:34] lixie
okay but we’re talking about this as soon as this is done

Seungmin closes the door of the bathroom, quietly popping the lock, as he stares at the message on his screen. What was there to talk about? No, what would Seungmin tell him? Felix saw what happened. He must have. What the hell would Seungmin tell him for why he did that? 

Shuffling over to the counter, Seungmin places his phone screen down on the counter and braces his hands on the counter and leans forward. He stares at himself in the mirror and frowns at what he sees. His eyes are still wet and red rimmed from a few stray tears, but why is he crying? Because of Jisung? Yes, is the short answer. 

Jisung affected him far more than Seungmin had anticipated. He figured that it would just be awkward and that his bitterness and resentment would keep his emotions in check. In retrospect, Seungmin probably should have seen Jisung’s compliment coming. He had just assumed, mistakenly, that Jisung would have been equally as awkward and bitter around him, but Jisung was never like that. He was always the first to give in and apologize whenever they bickered regardless of if he was actually in the wrong while Seungmin could hold onto his grudge for days. 

So the easy compliment really shouldn’t have been a surprise but Seungmin’s reaction to it had been surprising. He’d been thrown off his game since Jisung called him cute. His bitterness had quickly melted away, and, as always, Jisung got his hopes up with his request for him to stay behind with the promise that they could talk. Things hadn’t turned out that way though. They never do with Jisung, and the higher he raises Seungmin’s expectations the harder he inevitably falls, and Seungmin makes the mistake of getting his hopes up again. 

Stupid. He’s so stupid. 

His phone starts vibrating again on the counter, incessantly this time so Seungmin knows it’s a call and not a text. He eyes the device warily for a moment before he picks it up to see who’s calling. Minho’s name is at the top of the screen, and Seungmin doesn’t know what he should feel.

Surprised? No, Felix probably texted him.

Worried? If Felix texted him then he probably told him what happened and Seungmin doesn’t really know if he can take an actual person—let alone Minho-hyung—calling him an idiot when his brain is doing enough work for him. 

Picking his phone up, Seungmin clears his throat and tests out his voice by saying hello to himself in the mirror a couple of times. When he’s sure he doesn’t at least sound like a complete mess, he picks up the call. 

“Hello?” 

Minho doesn’t say anything at first, perhaps surprised that Seungmin picked up or trying to determine how he is by the tone of his voice alone. “Where are you?” Minho finally asks in return. 

Seungmin shrugs, leaning forward to examine himself in the mirror and trying to wipe away any more stray tears. “There was a Twosome Place nearby,” he explains. “I just got a coffee and now I’m waiting until Felix is done. Did he text you?”

He hears Minho take a deep breath on the other end of the line. “No,” says Minho. “I’ve been monitoring Twitter all afternoon. I saw you basically attack Jisung, and all the stupid comments flooding in about it.” Seungmin opens his mouth to protest because he did no such thing. “What happened?” Minho asks in as gentle a voice as he can muster. 

“I got kicked out,” Seungmin says sardonically.

“Yes, but why?” Minho asks. “Did-did Jisung say something to you?” 

Oh. Minho is worried that Jisung said something to upset him.  

“No,” he denies. “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just—we touched, accidentally, and—and, you know, it’s been three years since I—since—” Seungmin isn’t sure he’s stuttered so much since the last time he had to give a presentation for a project back in high school. More tears spring to his eyes, partly embarrassed by his inability to really explain himself and partly upset as he tries to put a word to the frustration he’s feeling. 

“Oh. Oh, my god,” Minho gasps quietly, and Seungmin is thankful that his friend understands. Only Minho would. He’d seen the way they used their touches as weapons against each other in playful ways and the way they’d do it for comfort. Everyone knew what touches between soulmates were like but Minho knew what they were like for them, and it’s just kind of a relief that Seungmin doesn’t have to finish articulating his thoughts because he can’t do it. 

“It was stupid,” Seungmin admits in a small voice. “I didn’t mean to, and then security just grabbed me, and yeah.” 

“Do you want to come over?” Minho asks gently. “We can watch a movie. I’ll make something to eat.”

“No—yeah,” Seungmin quickly changes his mind. “After Felix is done. I don’t—I mean the thing is almost over I think.” 

“Okay. Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m fine,” he insists. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way, okay?” 

“Okay.” Minho sounds reluctant but eventually hangs up when Seungmin pretends that Felix is calling him now. 

Once he’s off the phone, Seungmin goes back to examining himself in the mirror. All his previous hard work has been undone by the tears that have gathered back in his eyes after speaking with Minho, and he turns on the sink and places his hands beneath the water to wash his face again. 

Apparently the event was a lot sooner to being done that Seungmin thought, or he had just taken much more time in the bathroom than he anticipated because there’s a knock at the door while Seungmin is still dabbing his eyes with a wet paper towel, trying to reduce the appearance that he’d been crying. He’d been holed up here for far too long and his iced Americano is probably all melted and slowly turning to room temperature. 

“I’m almost done,” he says, feeling sorry for whoever needed to actually use the restroom. 

“It’s me,” Felix’s deep voice comes from the other end of the door. “I saw your coffee still on the counter and figured you were in the bathroom or something.” He hesitates a second before he asks, “Can I come in?” 

Seungmin balls up the wet paper towels and chucks them into the trash before he turns to open the door. “No need,” he says, smiling warmly at his friend. “I’m all done.” He notices the iced americano in Felix’s hand and gladly takes it with murmured gratitude when Felix offers it to him.

Felix eyes him carefully, trying to assess the situation. When Seungmin smiles at him, he relaxes just the tiniest bit and jokes, “You know, I’ve seen a lot of people fall in love with Han quickly, but not as fast as you did.”  

Seungmin wants to laugh, he really does, but it’s hard enough to just smile at Felix’s joke. He didn’t know a damn thing, but that isn’t really his fault. Felix wouldn’t know exactly how long it took Seungmin to fall in love with Jisung, and that’s the problem really. Three years and all the bitterness and resentment hadn’t been enough because Seungmin is still completely and undeniably in love with his soulmate, and this is why Minho sent him here. 

He covers his mouth with a hand and turns away from Felix as another sob escapes from his throat. Felix is immediately alarmed by his response, running around to cup Seungmin’s cheeks. His eyes are wide in surprise and he’s completely thrown off guard by Seungmin’s unexpected reaction. “I’m sorry,” Felix apologizes, wiping tears from Seungmin’s face. “I’m sorry, it was just a joke. I was just joking.”

“No, it’s not your fault,” Seungmin assures him as he tries to push Felix away with his one free hand. “It was…it was funny.” 

Felix doesn’t look happy or comforted by Seungmin’s reassurances though. “Why are you crying then?” 

Seungmin lifts up the hand holding onto his coffee, the cup wet from all the condensation, and dabs at his eyes with the back of his hand. He shakes his head and answers, “It’s complicated.” And Seungmin doesn’t even really know if Felix will believe it because it sounds so surreal even in his head.

“Okay.” Felix blinks at him expectantly, still running his thumb over Seungmin’s wet cheeks, and it occurs to Seungmin that he’s waiting for an explanation. 

“I—Can we talk about this some other time?” Seungmin requests in a strained voice. “Tomorrow over brunch or something.” He doesn’t know why he specifies it so much when he knows Felix is the type of person to hold him to something like this. He’s just desperate to get out of here, and if Felix knows he’ll get an explanation soon he’s less likely to hold Seungmin hostage. 

Felix eyes Seungmin up and down for a second before nodding his head. “You wanna get out of here?” 

“Yeah. I’m going to hang out with Minho for a bit.” 

Felix hums in understanding, knows that they’re old friends and as much as they squabble and bicker in front of him and Hyunjin that Seungmin will always go to Minho if he needs something. “I’ll make sure you get there,” he offers.

Seungmin smiles gratefully at him, making sure the last of his tears are wiped away before he lets Felix pull him out of the bathroom. 

Jisung completely ignores the sound of his name falling from his manager and Chan’s lips as he pushes open the back door of the auditorium and rushes outside. He looks left and right but it’s empty around the back side of the building, so he jogs his way down to one end as his manager runs out the back door after him. 

“Han Jisung,” his manager yells, holding open the door so that it doesn’t lock behind him, “get back here right now.” 

Chan comes out behind their manager as Jisung reaches the corner of the building. It’s not a particularly huge building, but it would still take a while for him to run along the entire perimeter to search for Seungmin. If Seungmin is even still around. He’s not exactly hopeful that he is after how Seungmin had left the venue. He peeks around the corner of the building, but there’s no one there either.

“Jisung-ah,” Chan calls for him, and Jisung finally turns to look at them. “You can’t just go running off like this,” the older man chides him gently as he approaches him. 

Jisung doesn’t exactly resist when Chan grabs him by the elbow and gently pulls him back towards their manager. He does pout, though, whining at Chan. “But hyung,” he complains, “Seungmin was here. Seungmin came, and he promised to wait for me after this. We were gonna…” He’s not sure what he’s going to say. Talk? Make up? Make out? Jisung would have liked all three of those things, preferably in that order, but it doesn’t really matter anymore because Seungmin isn’t even here. 

“He’s not here,” Chan tells him gently with a shake of his head. “There’s no way security would let him loiter around after…” He trails off. He knows it was innocent, but the staff was just doing their job.  

Jisung’s lips set into an angry, upset line, and he pulls his arm out of Chan’s grip so he can march up to their manager. “Did you even know who that was?” He demands, pushing himself up onto his toes so that he’s eye level with him. It does very little to intimidate his manager though. 

“Who? The fan who grabbed you? Jisung—” 

“The fan who grabbed me?” Jisung gasps out. “That was Seungmin! Kim Seungmin. My—” He reaches for his pants like he might actually pull them down before thinking better of it. “Anyway, he’s not my fan! He’s my soulmate, and you threw him out of here!” 

His manager looks exasperated. “Jisung-ah, I don’t care if he’s your soulmate or your mother. He can’t just grab you like that!” 

“He didn’t grab me,” Jisung denies even though Seungmin had grabbed him. “It was—it was just the soulmate touch. You know how it is, don’t you hyung?” 

“And do you suppose that’s what everyone else saw?” His manager retorts. “Because I promise you they just saw a deranged fan who overstepped his boundaries. Besides, I thought you didn’t have a relationship with your soulmate.” 

Jisung opens his mouth to argue before snapping it shut and glaring up at his manager. Chan steps at that moment, placing one hand on Jisung’s shoulder and the other on the manager’s. “Hannie,” he coos patiently, “Jaebeom-hyung’s just doing his job. You know that.” It works because Jisung steps back, lowering his head down in defeat. He mutters that he’s going to go find Changbin-hyung before pushing his way past the manager to head back inside. 

Jaebeom sighs in relief and turns to Chan gratefully. “Thanks,” he says. 

Chan only shakes his head. “You shouldn’t talk to Ji like that,” he warns, trying to be diplomatic. “Especially not about his soulmate. He’s sensitive about it.” 

“I was just doing my job.” 

“I know, but you don’t have to be cruel about it either. What happened was a mistake on Seungmin’s part, but Jisung wasn’t hurt by it.” He was probably more upset that it had ruined everything else. He finally had a chance to talk to Seungmin again, and now that opportunity was gone. Even if security wouldn’t have let him stay behind, Seungmin wasn’t the type of person who would have. His pride had probably taken a hit too. 

“There are no exceptions for soulmates,” his manager tells him. “Jisung is an idol before he’s anyone’s soulmate.” 

Chan almost starts an argument because that is just not true. It’s almost true, but he just smiles tightly and holds himself back. “Trust me,” he says tersely, “we know.”