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"Mmm, but you won't be able to just wear your school uniform," Makishima says.
His fingers skate across Onoda's shoulders as he walks a slow circle around his underclassman, sizing up Onoda's build and the way his back curves over with nerves (not so unlike Makishima himself, when he isn't working for the club). He comes back around to face Onoda's front, lips pulling tight as he stares contemplatively at Onoda's face.
"But that's fine," he declares. "You're about Naruko's size, and I have no end of costu— outfits, no end of outfits that he hasn't yet had the bravery to try on for the clientele."
"Hey!" Naruko exclaims, popping up from the seat he'd been given. "I have a very particular style and most of that junk you buy us doesn't fit it at all! I'm supposed to be sharp. Flashy. You know, debonair."
Naruko tilts his head down, one hand coming up as if to tilt the brim of an imaginary hat. Beside him, Imaizumi snorts under his breath. Naruko immediately rounds on him next, following up with an, "Excuse me, hotshot? You got something you wanna say? I don't see you wearing any of Makishima-san's costumes, either."
"I can buy my own wardrobe," Imaizumi says with a shrug. "I don't need to depend on our seniors to make certain I satisfy the customers."
"Why I oughta—!" Naruko starts again, arm coming up like he's winding into throwing a punch.
"Gentlemen," Kinjou's voice cuts in, just sharply enough that Imaizumi and Naruko both immediately freeze. "I believe we were trying to introduce our newest member to what we do as a club. So, if you could settle down..."
Dutifully, Naruko returns to his seat, while Imaizumi straightens his back and pretends that he wasn't deliberately baiting Naruko into an altercation. Onoda glances between them, nervously trying to deduce how angry they are with each other, and wondering just what it is he's gotten himself into.
"Don't worry about them," Makishima says, sliding his arm around Onoda's shoulders. It's a little stiff, and when he pats Onoda's upper arm that's with a little bit too much force, but he's trying. "They're always like this. They make pleasing every customer into a competition."
"It's why we pair them together," Kinjou adds, from his seat just behind Makishima. "When they fight to make sure the customer is happy, we always receive glowing reviews."
"Hey!" Naruko says again, but this time he's wise enough not to follow it with any other complaint.
"What... Exactly does that mean?" Onoda asks, nervously looking up into Makishima's face where it's leaned so close to his own. "I-I mean, what does your club do, and who are the customers?"
"Well," Makishima says. "It's all very simple. We provide a service to the school that nobody else can offer!"
He throws his free arm out in dramatic gesture; behind him, Kinjou coughs once, and clears his throat. "We're a host club," he says. "There are a lot of young women at our school who may not have the time or inclination to pursue a relationship, but who enjoy the company of young men such as... some of our members all the same."
Naruko and Imaizumi glare at each other when Kinjou says "some," like they're both thinking the other is the odd man out who Kinjou is subtly reprimanding.
"We offer the kind of companionship these discerning young ladies desire," Kinjou continues. "For a fee, of course."
"Oh," Onoda says, though to him that explains little more than when Makishima tried.
"I'm not sure you're really the host club type," Makishima says, patting Onoda again on the shoulder before drawing away his arm. "But you did break that very expensive vase on the first day of club sign-ups, and we do need to recoup the loss of those funds somehow..."
Onoda swallows, remembering how terrifying Makishima had looked, glaring down at him with his pointed face all twisted up and the shards of the vase scattered everywhere across the floor. Kinjou hadn't been much better, standing just at Makishima's shoulder and with expression so darkly unreadable that Onoda had been unable to meet his eyes behind his glasses. Onoda wants very much never to be on their bad side.
"W-Whatever it is I have to do!" he pipes up. "I really am... Very sorry... About knocking over that vase. I know that it's my fault, so I'll do whatever you need in order to make up for it!"
"Very responsible of you," Kinjou says, with a warm note of approval that starts to put Onoda at ease.
"All of our members have an angle, though," Makishima says, beginning to frown again as he stares at Onoda. "You're cute, maybe we can work with that. Hmm..."
He continues to tap against his chin with one finger, thoughtfully, until all at once his face lights up with an idea. He spins away from Onoda, rounding on the member of the circle in the club room who had been strangely silent up until that point. "Tadokorocchi!!"
"What?" the burly boy Makishima is pointing at shouts back. "I didn't think you guys even needed me for anything right now."
Makishima rolls his eyes, but he's still smiling, with a vicious sort of delight that makes Onoda want to take a step away from him. "We're introducing the new member, you could at least pay attention. Anyway! It's perfect. Onoda-kun, we'll pair you with Tadokorocchi!"
"What?" Tadokoro says, his voice flat, at the same time Onoda get out a quiet "Huh?" without thinking.
"Tadokorocchi is the bara type, you're the... Well, I won't say what type you are," Makishima explains, for once catching himself before blurting out the poorly-thought assessment hovering on the tip of his tongue. "And Tadokorocchi's type is very popular with some of the girls who come to see us, but he's a little, well."
Makishima pauses, and this time doesn't manage to bite back what he's thinking. "He's too loud and he scares the girls, even the ones who like that. And then he gets nervous and apologetic and stutters at them! Which only makes them more uncomfortable. Frankly, Tadokorocchi is the worst at being a host, it's a tragedy."
"Hey!" Tadokoro shouts. "I'm not that bad." He turns toward Kinjou, expression serious, almost pleading. "Right, Kinjou? I'm not really that bad, am I?"
"Your performance could use a little work," Kinjou temporizes.
Tadokoro stares at him, mouth gaped open in betrayal and just shocked enough that he doesn't even shout.
"But don't worry!" Makishima cuts back in, hands pressed together with his glee. "Onoda-kun will be the solution to all that. With someone this cute around, the girls will have to be comfortable."
He's grinning, clearly proud of himself, and behind Makishima Kinjou is thoughtfully nodding his head. Tadokoro looks slowly between them, like he's grasping for some argument against their plan and coming up with nothing.
"Fine," he says. "I'll work with the new guy."
"It sounds as if that's settled," Kinjou says, rising from his chair. He takes a step forward, letting his hand drop to rest on Onoda's shoulder with a portentous sort of weight. In a quieter voice, he adds, "Tadokoro may be loud, and he may seem intimidating, but he is a good person. Don't worry, Onoda. You'll learn the ropes in no time."
"Th-Thank you," Onoda says, stumbling only a little.
"Oi, buzz off Kinjou," Tadokoro says, as he rises from his chair as well. He takes two big steps forward and elbows Kinjou out of the way, dropping his thick, heavy arm to rest around Onoda's shoulders.
Onoda stumbles under the weight of it — Tadokoro has thumped him a bit more soundly than when Makishima did it. But then Tadokoro grins, and Onoda can't help but smile back at him.
"Don't worry, pipsqueak," Tadokoro says. "You're in good hands. And hey, despite all these weirdos—" He jerks his head toward his friends, taking in the rest of the circle. "—I think maybe you're gonna like it here."
Intimidated though Onoda was at the start, he can't help but agree that maybe, he just might.
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