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It didn’t hurt when he woke up, when he was in control again. It didn’t hurt when he was finding his way through the portal with his friends, with his best friend as close to him as possible. It didn’t hurt a few hours ago, so why did it hurt now?
Everyone was recovering together in the owl house, there wasn’t much proper furniture like there had been before, but Eda and Lilith managed to find what they could to make it feel like home again. Each person was dealing with their own injuries, mental or physical, Luz and Amity were glued at the hip while Eda and Camilla watched over them. Gus was with his dad who had come as soon as he got the news his son was back, and Willow’s dads were fretting over her too. Everyone had someone, everyone but him.
He sat on one of the fold out mattresses laid out for each person, a bit further away from where everyone else was. Usually, he’d like the alone time he got, when he’d be able to freely talk to Flapjack or practice sewing or read a new book. Though, now? He despised it.
His head was pounding like a drum and his skin felt like it was on fire, he looked at his arms and saw the fresh pink wounds covering most of his skin. Just a feather light touch on them was like a lightning bolt coursing through him, he was scared to move in fear of literally falling apart. It was only a few hours ago that he had been possessed by Belos, the grotesque green goo had covered his body where the scars now extended. He shivered looking at himself.
How was he supposed to move on from this? Where did he go from here? Just when he felt like he was starting to become his own person, when he was starting to become Hunter, it had been ripped away from him. His own body had participated in Flapjack’s death, it wasn’t him that did it, but his hands were the ones that pierced the palisman. His body had hurt his friends, had fought them off like they were his enemies. Belos took the body he was finally growing into and made it a vessel for evil and destruction - it wasn’t fair.
Anxiety came over him, the feeling of drowning in his thoughts and being unable to breathe. The dread and fear of what would come next, his overthinking was kicked into high gear and he knew he was spiraling. He knew his mind was getting the best of him and yet he couldn’t stop it, the physical pain he was in doing no better to pull him away from the prison of his thoughts. Everything hurt, inside and outside.
Then a voice, certainly not his own, stood clear among his raging thoughts, “Go to her.”
Hunter blinked, looking up from where he was staring at his arms and landing on Willow who was across the room. Go to… Willow?
”Yes.” The voice stated again clearly. It was eerily familiar though he knew it wasn’t his own voice or thoughts conversing with himself, almost as if he was talking to– Flapjack. That was Flapjack’s voice–his soul–encouraging him.
A small, bittersweet smile appeared on his face, they had essentially fused into one when Flapjack revived Hunter. Of course his soul would still be cheering him on from the sidelines. He couldn’t help the sad chuckle that escaped him despite his agony.
The moment of clarity was blissful, yet as soon as he was aware again, he was reminded of how much physical pain he was in. He wasn’t even sure if he could stand up and walk at this point, lest he deal with the burning pain of his scarred skin. He needed someone though, he needed her.
Luckily, their eyes met by chance and Willow saw the expression on Hunter’s face. She finished up the conversation with her dads and told them she’d be back, then approached her friend with a worried face.
“Hunter, are you okay?” She asked, kneeling to sit next to him on the mattress.
“No,” he bit his tongue to keep from yelling out in pain. “The scars, where… it hurts, Willow. I- I can’t move, it hurts so bad.”
Her expression changed from concerned to determined, repositioning herself to be able to examine all the visible scars properly, “It’s okay, I got you. I learned some healing plant magic spells a while ago, this might help to soothe it.”
Drawing a circle in the air to conjure the spell, she created a plant that when cut open held a gel-like substance on the inside. It was messy and a little gross of a texture to touch, but it would help with the external pain of the fresh wound. She learned that humans had plants like this that they made gel from to help with burns, it would be useful if she already had a substance ready to go instead of having to use the plant directly. Maybe she could find a way to tweak that in the spell.
Hunter held his arms out expectantly, eyes closed and his lip caught between his teeth to brace for the pain– but it was only brief. Willow’s soft movement with the plant gel gliding across his skin only hurt for a second before the healing properties of the plant kicked in. He peaked an eye open to see her attentively covering every inch of exposed scar tissue, reaching up to his shirt sleeves to make sure she covered any hidden underneath the fabric.
As he relaxed, he watched her work with the plant, admiring the dedication she was putting into his care. He was staring, but Willow wasn’t surprised when she looked up at his face and redid the spell to create a fresh plant. A large section of his face was scarred, continuing down his neck and presumably his chest or back. She lathered her hands with more of the gel and reached out to cover the fresh scars on his cheek and neck.
“W-wait, what-” Hunter tried to ask before he realized what his friend was doing; she was taking care of his wounds, not gently holding him by the face and looking into his eyes to comfort him… he didn’t know he wanted that until that very moment.
“Just relax, I know it’s not real healing magic but it should make it better,” Willow gave him a soft smile and carefully spread the gel across his face to cover the scar. “Did you know it was this bad on your face too? Or- sorry I shouldn’t say that, you don’t look bad or anything, it's just the new scarring.”
He hummed, he didn’t actually know what his face looked like now–if he were to be honest with himself–he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. The idea of looking in a mirror made him shudder, he didn’t want to see the man who abused him all his life staring back at him again.
“No, I didn’t. I… don’t want to look.”
Willow nodded, silently understanding his fear. The last time she saw him having a breakdown in the bathroom he cut all of his hair off, after it got too long and he could only see Belos instead of himself. She helped him back then, to give him something new that he would enjoy; she wondered now if it would help to cut it again.
She continued down to his neck, finishing up the remaining area with the rest of the gel she had on her hands. After she was sure everything was covered, she wiped her hands on her pants to clean them off quickly and looked at Hunter again, “How is it feeling, any better?”
“Yes,” he sighed, he felt he could function correctly now with the pain off of his mind. Something inside of him gave him confidence and he reached out to shyly grab Willow’s hand, “Thank you, um… for everything.”
She blushed at the action but squeezed his hand back in affirmation, after everything that happened she wanted to hold on tighter to him, keep him safe with her and protect him from anything that tried to harm him. He deserved to rest, and she wanted to give him that opportunity.
She tried not to let tears well up in her eyes as she spoke, “I don’t want to lose you, Hunter. And I don’t know if this is a bad time to say this but, I really like you. You’re one of the best things that’s happened to me… and I don’t want to miss my chance to tell you that.”
His eyes widened, had he heard her right? The girl he had been crushing on for nearly a whole year just told him she felt the same way he did about her? After all of this, she still wanted to tell him that she liked him, after his body was used to try harming her and their friends?
“I mean, I like you too Willow, like a lot but– with all of this? You aren’t bothered by what just happened or that I’m a grimwalker and I don’t really know who I am, besides a clone of someone else?” He still kept hold of her hand, afraid that if he let it go he’d never get the chance to hold it again. “You… like me. After all this you still like me?”
“Of course I do, none of what happened today made me think any differently about you. I might not know exactly what being a grimwalker means for you, or how I can help you with all of this with what we know, but I’m going to learn. We’re going to learn together.” Willow leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his non-scarred cheek and grabbing his other hand. “I just want you to be safe and happy and loved, I’ll do anything I can to give you that.”
Everything was so overwhelming, but not in the bad way it had been before, when his thoughts raced and his body was in some of the worst pain he’s been in since the day of unity. Now it was overwhelming in a different way, in the waterfall of emotions that poured out of his heart for the girl he loved, the tears collecting in his eyes threatening to fall. The feeling of her hands on his, rubbing small circles into the skin, and the place where she had kissed his cheek still felt like he could remember exactly where her lips touched him. He felt so pulled in every which way and he wanted to be in all of them, he wanted to be wherever she was and involved in whatever she was doing.
He couldn’t stop the crying from happening, he had spent so much of his life holding everything in, bottling every emotion he had because he couldn’t express them in any way. Now, he didn’t have to bottle those things up anymore, even if he tried the tears wouldn’t stop flowing.
His head fell forward and his eyes closed, and he felt Willow’s head meet his, both of their foreheads touching felt oddly comforting. Being this close in her presence made him feel safe, she was a powerful witch who was capable of anything- he’d trust her with his life and in a way, he already had.
“We’re gonna be okay,” she whispered between them, assuring both Hunter and herself. She felt his head nod against hers before he fell into her arms, his arms carefully wrapped around her waist so he wouldn’t disturb the healing process of his wounds. He never had initiated a hug before, it was always the other person offering their embrace to him first. A bit surprised, she smiled as her arms circled around his shoulders, holding him close and appreciating his body heat. She never wanted him to move.
For now, he wouldn’t. His pain dulled and mind cleared thanks to her, he wouldn’t dream about letting go of her now. Flapjack’s presence filled his heart with a comforting warmth as he heard his palisman’s voice in his mind, “Stay with her.”
I will, he thought to himself– to Flapjack. I will.