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Shenhe was very tired.
She crouched against a corner of the cave, and she waited. On the first day and the second, she would shake and tremble as she hid, torn between burying her head in her legs to cry or keeping her eyes alert and staring at every dark shadow in fearful anticipation, but the excitement was long gone now. She just waited and she stared. Her body throbbed and ached, stinging with pain from her many wounds, but she didn’t tend to them. It was useless looking at them, because she didn’t know how to do anything to help them. Her mother used to fix her cuts and bruises, before she got sick. Her father helped her sometimes, too. She knew he wasn’t coming to help her now, though. Not this time.
“Daddy, where are we going?” she asked. Her dad had been gone for a while. Maybe now that he was back, they would do something exciting. Or just something. Anything would do. Even fishing sounded pretty exciting right now, and she wasn’t able to do much when they did that. She liked to watch the fish though. They flopped around a lot before they died.
“I have a surprise,” he said without looking at her. He kept walking ahead, holding her by the hand. He was going kind of fast. That meant he must be excited.
“Okay,” Shenhe said. That was fine; she could wait. The best surprises usually came with waiting, anyways.
Shenhe listened to the sound of a deep howl in the distance. The monster was probably coming back, soon. She clutched her mother’s dagger tighter. If Shenhe injured the monster enough, it would go away for a while, screaming in pain much louder than she ever screamed, bleeding black goo on the cave floor. When it came back, it wouldn’t be bleeding anymore. It would chase after her, and she would run away through the narrow tunnels, and then, when she had just the right moment, she would fight back and stab it until it went away again.
It howled again, closer this time. Shenhe stood up. Her legs were very tired. Thoughts started to come back that made her only more tired. Would this keep going forever? The monster wanted to eat her, but she didn’t want to be eaten. She wanted to live. She couldn’t get out of the cave, though. It was sealed shut where she and her dad came in. It was an exorcist seal. She knew it, because her parents were exorcists, and she saw them do stuff sometimes. She didn’t know how to get rid of it, though. They never taught her how.
She saw the red eyes first, peering through the shadows. It made a lot of scary sounds, but she was used to them. She watched it step closer to her, revealing inky black snakelike legs shimmering in the soft glow of the ore in the walls, stretching its head higher and smiling a little to reveal rows and rows of tiny stick-like teeth.
It lunged for her, and Shenhe dodged.
She stabbed it in the side and ran. It chased her like it always, leaving a trail of goo in its wake. Shenhe was almost cornered, but she turned around and she fought. She fought and she fought. She slipped on the goo once, falling in it. It lunged again but she rolled out of the way so it would hit the stony ground instead. Then she stabbed it again.
She wasn’t sure how long it was, before it left again. Shenhe was injured again. She was covered in both of their bloods, which was really gross, so she decided to brush it off. She snapped off a chunk of ore from the wall with her hands and used it to brush herself. She guessed she would wait here for a while before it came back.
Shenhe didn’t like thinking all that much, now. She didn’t like asking questions. Why did her father leave her here? Did she do something wrong? Or did he just not like her, anymore? He didn’t say anything, though.
Her dad was reciting something. She sat cross-legged on the ground, waiting patiently. Her father was an exorcist, so he did things like this sometimes, for training. Shenhe watched as the runes started to light up. Maybe he was going to teach her something, today? She was supposed to learn eventually, right?
Shenhe saw a dark form arise, with glowing blood-red eyes. It emerged one limb at a time, growling a terrifying, bone-shattering growl. Shenhe stood up, quickly. “Daddy!” She ran, and she hid behind him. It was a monster. Her heart pounded in her chest. It was a real monster. They had to run away. Her dad had to do something.
Gently, he placed his hand on her shoulder, and he moved her in front of him. “She’s yours,” he said.
Her dad turned and walked away. “D-DADDY!” she screamed, running for him, but she was cut short. Something grabbed her foot, pulling her backwards. Her dad never looked at her. This entire time, ever since they left, he never even looked at her. He walked away, and she reached out to him as the inky limb wrapped itself around her ankle and pulled her to the ground, dragging her away.
Shenhe didn’t understand. Her dad was a good person, an exorcist who helped people. They went fishing together. He told her stories at night before she went to bed. He loved her mom, very much. He loved them. So why? Did the monster make him do it? Did he have to? Shenhe wanted to believe that, but the feeling in her stomach said that it wasn’t true, because he didn’t even try. He just left her here because he hated her. Maybe she didn’t take care of Mom good enough. Maybe she made her tired, and that was why she got sick. Shenhe went swimming in a creek she wasn’t supposed to, once. The water was too fast, and she got swept away. Mom saved her, and her dad yelled at her for not doing what she was told. Maybe she made her mom sick because of that. Maybe this was her fault.
Shenhe wanted to live. She wanted to leave this place, too. She couldn’t stay here forever. She didn’t want to stay here forever. She would die if she did.
Shenhe started to cry. She hadn’t cried in a few days, she thinks. She didn’t know how long it was. Maybe it was years. It was all the same thing over and over, so she didn’t need to cry. But she was tired now. She cried, and once she started, she began crying a lot. It kept coming and coming. She didn’t want to stay here. She didn’t want to die.
She dropped to her knees, shoulders shaking with sobs. She wiped away blood and tears with her dirty sleeve. She didn’t want to die. She wiped away her face, and she looked down at her dirty dagger. It was a special dagger, her mom said. It could even cut demons. Not everything could cut demons like that. She was glad she had it. She could do something with it.
She could do something more.
Shenhe clutched the dagger tight. She didn’t want to keep going like this. She had to do something. She shook and trembled, but she didn’t think it was just fear. Maybe, it was anger, instead. She didn’t want to keep being hunted by this monster. She didn’t want it to keep healing faster than she did and going after her like this. It was a coward. She didn’t want to be afraid of a coward. She didn’t want to be afraid of anything. She was going to live. She was a hunter, because exorcists were a lot like hunters.
She was going to kill it.
She didn’t think much, after that. Her decision was already made. The monster left a trail of blood, and she could follow it. She would follow it to wherever it hid. It couldn’t go that far. She knew this cave really well, too.
She followed and she followed, hearing its moans of pain the closer she went. Then, she found. With a dagger in hand and tears still in her eyes, she stood face to face.
She wasn’t running. She wasn’t going to let it run, either. She had enough.
She saw red. She lunged for the demon and watched it recoil with a hiss and a howl. It fought back, biting on her, lashing at her with its tail. Shenhe tasted her own blood but kept going.
Once she started, she felt stronger, than before. She wasn’t weak. She wanted it dead, and she was going to win or she was going to die. She wasn’t going to let it be the cruelest evil to stalk the darkness; she was. She yelled and screamed, lifting her dagger to the air, plunging it down in its flesh. Die! Die already! She’s had enough of this. She just wanted to be alone.
She bled from new gashes torn across her skin. Her knees trembled, but she wasn’t finished. It didn’t matter what the demon wanted. It didn’t matter what her father wanted. She wanted to live.
She plunged down again, and with it came an icy burst. The dark room lit up with the white and blue blast, and Shenhe froze with it. Her hands were fixed on the hilt of the dagger, and the dagger was buried in a whole column of icy shards, with the demon at the center.
There was a moment of silence. The demon didn’t move; it didn’t howl; it didn’t do anything. It was dead.
Shenhe dropped to her knees, taking a slow moment to realize it. She was alone now.
She could sleep.
….
…
She felt feathers. They were warm and soft. She had been sleeping, but they were moving now.
It was light out, too. Moonlight, but close enough.
“Hrrngh?” she groaned. “Where am I?”
“Hmm? O-Oh!” a voice exclaimed. “You’re awake! Thank Rex La—ahem, I mean…yes, this is to be expected. You are safe now, child.”
She opened her eyes to look. She was lying face down on the back of a big bird. A talking bird. She straightened and looked out at the mountains. “We’re not going back?” she said tiredly.
“No, child, of course not. You’re safe. I promise.”
Shenhe nodded. Her dad said things like ‘promise’ too once, but this might be fine, because this bird was not him. “Who are you?”
“This one is Cloud Retainer, young one. Now, hang on tight; we just have a short ways further to go from here.”
“Okay.”